I find myself more pleased that you're trying to pace yourselves as opposed to getting into both the hypnosis and clop right away. It makes those moment seem more important and the payoff that much better.
Who skips right to the sex in a hypnosis story? A hypno story, even a clopfic, is something to be savored, every moment carefully enjoyed and never rushed, gradually building up to the release of all tension and gradually slipping down, down down~
I remember the thread we talked about this on, it feels like so long ago but glad to see we have an awesome start. Can't wait for more guys, keep it up
Let me just point one mistake I saw out because I like this story. "the orchestra had chosen five of its most talented members, four earth ponies and a unicorn, to go onto the stage and do a freelance performance.", "Tonight, he wore a handsome navy pinstripe suit which shimmered in the spotlights, his majestic sky-blue wings poking out from behind him and swaying slightly in the pleasant breeze." You stated that there were only earth ponies and a unicorn on the stage yet you put wings on one of the members which makes him a pegasus. Either say one of the earth ponies is a pegasus or delete the part about the wings.
There's a long story behind that error. Essentially, I finished writing and edited that, but on the night of posting I didn't have access to the file. So, I asked Mask to send me a slightly outdated version.
Oh boy. Something tells me Noteworthy is "in treble". Eh? Eh? No? Ok. I love these details, just simple words to imagine things better always gets me. You've caught my attention.
4244611 just your choice of adjectives. I really need to work on expanding my vocabulary because it feels like I use the same word multiple times and it sounds boring.
Interesting for a first story.
Good work I'll be watching this
4215638
Thank you kindly.
The stage is set, and I look forward to the first act with great anticipation!
Well, I'm always game for new hypnosis stories.
I'd be happy to give this one a follow, can't wait to see more!
I find myself more pleased that you're trying to pace yourselves as opposed to getting into both the hypnosis and clop right away. It makes those moment seem more important and the payoff that much better.
Also...
static.squarespace.com/static/51aae414e4b013f5da4a816c/t/53345e72e4b09fffc70d3444/1395940979168/
Who the hell actually calls it a G clef? It's pretty universally referred to as treble.
Who skips right to the sex in a hypnosis story?
A hypno story, even a clopfic, is something to be savored, every moment carefully enjoyed and never rushed, gradually building up to the release of all tension and gradually slipping down, down down~
Octavia as a hypnotist? I can buy that and great start
4220001
Well played, friend. XD
This is epic... Moarrrrrrr
I remember the thread we talked about this on, it feels like so long ago but glad to see we have an awesome start. Can't wait for more guys, keep it up
Let me just point one mistake I saw out because I like this story.
"the orchestra had chosen five of its most talented members, four earth ponies and a unicorn, to go onto the stage and do a freelance performance.", "Tonight, he wore a handsome navy pinstripe suit which shimmered in the spotlights, his majestic sky-blue wings poking out from behind him and swaying slightly in the pleasant breeze."
You stated that there were only earth ponies and a unicorn on the stage yet you put wings on one of the members which makes him a pegasus. Either say one of the earth ponies is a pegasus or delete the part about the wings.
4224491
There's a long story behind that error. Essentially, I finished writing and edited that, but on the night of posting I didn't have access to the file. So, I asked Mask to send me a slightly outdated version.
I'll fix this promptly. Thanks for your time.
4218954 I call it a G..
Oh boy. Something tells me Noteworthy is "in treble". Eh? Eh? No? Ok. I love these details, just simple words to imagine things better always gets me. You've caught my attention.
4244437
I see what you did there.
What details are you referring to? It's just one of my writing styles.
4244611 just your choice of adjectives. I really need to work on expanding my vocabulary because it feels like I use the same word multiple times and it sounds boring.
4244683
Yeah. I enjoyed expending that skill via Lux's
overcomplicated manner of speech.