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I Was Born to Love You

Not\e/worthy

Part of the PonyEarthVerse

By: YarnWeaver

Chapter 4: I Was Born to Love You

Someday - Sometime
Somewhere Strange - Somepony Stranger

There's usually just one thing I'm wont to do when I'm otherwise occupied with some mundane task or another (like Cashiering).

I hum.

I hum a lot.

I also snap my fingers a lot, too.

Or, I used to.

I used to be so jealous of both Jim and Barty for taking to whistling so easily, while I could never really get the hang of it even when they were trying to help me learn.

So I went with the next best available option:

Humming.

I've put a lot of practice into it over the years.

Lately, it's almost like I'm singing with my lips closed.

Not that I'm that great of a singer.

So, while I'm absentmindedly banging my hoof against the door to my kennel, I'm just humming away to any old song that pops into my head. Mostly instrumental stuff from video games and whatnot. Some Tetris Attack, some Banjo Kazooie/Tooie, maybe a bit of Rayman Arena thrown in to spice it up.

I know, I have some weird tastes, and I often commit to those weird tastes a little too hard.

Like the time I wondered if combining three of my favorite flavors as a kid would work out great in a birthday cake. I'm talking about a mint-flavored cake with butterscotch frosting and grape filling between the layers. You may now commence gagging.

How was it? Well, I sure don't know. Mom and Dad never budged an inch on their decision to not make that dream a reality. No matter how many consecutive years I asked for it. I eventually stopped asking. I figured they were just trying to protect me from getting disappointed.

They were probably right, anyway.

This door sure was stubborn.

I mean I must've been rapping on it for at least half an hour by-!

-KA-BASH!-

And then my hoof hit empty air after finally forcing the door off its hinges.

I froze.

I immediately realized my mistake. By removing the door so violently from the cage, I was causing enough noise to alert whomever had put me in here to my efforts to escape! Especially once the door clatters to the floor with a-

-pomf!-

"Pomf?" I repeat incredulously.

I look down, out the open end of the cage, and I see the once imposing door lying harmlessly on the carpet below me.

Wait, hadn't the floor been concrete a moment ago?

I inch myself closer to the edge of the shelf to get a close look.

The floor is indeed carpet now, when I know I saw concrete before!.

How is this even possible?

The shelf I was on was still a few feet from the floor, though I'm still not that used to being able to tell. Cautiously, I shuffle the rest of me out of the cage and onto the wooden shelf proper.

Finally, I'm out!

Looking around, I noticed with some disappointment that mine was the only kennel on the shelf, besides being the only thing of note in the room other than the light bulb and the weird, colorful carpeting.

Oh yeah, the carpet. It's actually interesting to look at.

There's a whole bunch of different colors in it, and even more interestingly, I can't spot any repeating pattern to it.

And that's like one of the only things I'm actually really good at.

Few as they may be.

That's one of the reasons I loved Tetris Attack so much. Once I got into it, I realized how quickly I could take in all the patterns of the different colored panels and arrange them to my liking for Combos and Chains. The fact that it was a puzzle game sure didn't hurt either. I love me some puzzles.

In fact, now that I think about it; patterns and me go back even further!

Way back when I was in Kindergarten up in Michigan (my folks and I only moved down to Texas a little over nine years ago), I couldn't help but just soak up all that PBS edu-tainment on TV. I'm talking, Sesame Street, Beakman's World, Square One, the works!

Probably liked them a little too much, in retrospect.

I mean, seriously, when my kindergarten class was having a party after school at the end of the year; I had fun, sure, but when I realized that staying for the party meant that I'd missed Bill Nye the Science Guy, I flat out started crying!

What? My folks couldn't afford Cable when I was a kid. So sue me!

Anyway, there was one little segment I saw on Square One one day that really got me hooked on patterns.

It was a music video featuring a guy whose music I'd later discover that I really liked.

It was "Patterns" by Weird Al Yankovich.

Good stuff. Good stuff.

So believe me when I say this: I know a pattern when I see one, be it in words, numbers, shapes or colors. I'll spot it.

I didn't see any here.

Now, while I was certainly impressed that someone could make a carpet to cover this room without repeating any elements in it, the mere fact that there weren't any such features to begin with was kind of unsettling.

Eh...

Oh well, weird carpeting is still carpeting, I guess.

I get my forehooves under me on the shelf and prepare for the short jump down. I felt an odd sensation, however, right before my hooves left my perch. It felt like my tail was twitching back and forth like I was a cat about to pounce.

Unfortunately, this new aspect of my pony body distracted me enough that I fell off the shelf at and awkward angle.

Whoops...

Another audible "Pomf!" and I was on my side, on the floor. It was actually pretty plush and comfy. I almost wanted to go back to sleep right there!

Keyword: "almost".

Now that I wasn't confined to that cage anymore, I wanted to finally have a proper look at myself.

I had a coat of fur that reminded me of Blooregard Q. Kazoo and a mane/tail combo that reminded me of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Then I spotted my cutie mark. It was two sets of cojoined eighth notes that matched my mane and tail color.

I think I know this pony, but I'm drawing a blank at his name.

He's one of the lesser known background ponies, and one of the few background stallions to appear in Season One. I remember seeing him in the Winter Wrap Up number and maaaybe one other episode, but that's about it.

Nobody in the fandom seems to care that much about him.

Lucky me.

I soon find my way to my hooves and quickly realize that I really don't have any idea how to move around in this body.

Well, if there's one thing that going around on two legs has taught me, it's that there's really only a couple of things to do to go from standing to walking.

Step 1: Fall forward.

Step 2: Let your legs handle the rest!

It never fails! In that split second of freefall, there's a shot of adrenaline into my system, and instinct takes over, driving my legs forward to catch me. From there, forward momentum keeps me in motion, and I slide effortlessly into the rhythm of my steps.

So I decide to give my pony instincts a kick-start, because after all, this body should already know how it's supposed to move, even though I may not yet.

I shift my weight, moving my head, neck and barrel all forward at once, and once again, my gravitation towards patterns comes into play.

Fore-Right, Back-Left, Fore-Left, Back-Right, REPEAT!

I'm a bit awkward to start, and I have to speed up more than I was initially intending just to regain my balance, but hey!

I'M WALKING!

AS A PONY!!

HA!

With that problem solved, I turn my attention to the next one: The Door!

My confidence soaring from having mastered equine walking in record time (I don't think I've ever gotten the handle on something so fast in my life!), I amble on up to the barrier between me and...

...well...

...I suppose finding out where I am at the very least.

Now, the bar handle of the doorknob was about a foot above my head. It didn't seem like that much of an obstacle now that I was right in front of it.

Remembering how it looked when they did it on the show, I reared myself up onto my hind legs (again, this is really going to take some getting used to) and placed my right forehoof on the doorframe for support.

I examined my left hoof for a moment, noting the two ends of its arc right about where my wrist used to be. I then carefully hooked that part of my hoof around the bar of the door handle and tried it.

It moved!

I turned it.

I heard the latch click!

I braced the tip of my left hoof against the surface of the door and licked my lips in anticipation. I eased forward.

It budged!!

I quickly pulled my hoof back. Thankfully, I hadn't opened it enough for there to be any noise at its closing, or at least there'd only been a negligible amount.

This was it.

Once I opened up this door, it was either going to be Christmas or April Fools Day for me.

I took a breath to steel my nerves and fought back the urge to hum something secret-agenty.

And then, in one swift, silent motion...

I opened the door!

...and found myself staring slackjawed as a river of green water rushed past my face like a waterfall I was just inches away from being taken by. A few seconds passed before it even occurred to me to close the door back up.

I latched the door and removed my hoof from the handle.

I then rested the crown of my head up against the hard surface of the door and heaved out a weary sigh.

Great.

I got St. Patrick's Day.

Author's Note:

Me: Y'know, this is actually kinda fun!

I start just repeatedly opening and shutting the door, a different view to take in each time.

Beach! -SLAM- Haunted House! -SLAM- Desert! -SLAM-

And also getting sillier with it as I go.

Hey there, Boggy, how's the kids? -SLAM- Ooh! Bigger on the inside! -SLAM- Group Therapy? Groovy! -SLAM- VULCAAAANOOOOOOOOOO!!! -SLAM!-

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