Tee Shirts & Tears
13 April 2012 - Friday
She seemed genuinely confused. I think I can honestly say that I have never seen anyone act so sincere. Ever. She’s either an amazing actress trying to trick me, or she truly believes in what she’s saying. I sat there, staring at her, and she just stared back. “Um, Lis? Are you sure you’re alright?”
She cocked her head again. “Yeah, I feel fine.” She paused. “Actually, I am a little thirsty.”
“Well, there’s a glass of water over there on the bedside table,” I said pointing in that general direction. “Can you tell me where you’re from?”
She was looking at the glass of water, seeming to be in deep concentration. She glanced over at me at my query. “Yeah, I’m from Canterlot.” She seemed a little hesitant. “Why isn’t my magic working?”
And I’m confused again. “Magic?”
She seemed a little concerned. “Yeah, I am a unicorn, after all.”
And my brain stripped a few gears. Wait, magic? Unicorns? Canterlot? Why does that sound so familiar? Before my brain could regain traction, she grunted softly, distracting me. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble, Lis, but you’re not a unicorn, and I don’t think you have magic.”
Lis stopped concentrating on the water and turned to stare at me. “What do you mean I’m not a unicorn?”
I sighed, she really believes this! and pointed at her head. “Check your forehead. Last time I checked, unicorns had horns.”
She frantically brought her hands, why does she have them balled up like that? After a few moments, realization dawned on her face. She whimpered, oof, cuteness overload, and looked back up to me. “If I’m not a unicorn,” she sniffed, “then what am I?”
I deadpanned. I think I’m going back to drugs. “You’re a human.”
She was still sniffling, but seemed more confused than upset at the moment. “What’s a human?”
And I thought my face couldn’t get any deadpannier. “You’re a human, I’m a human. We’re all humans.”
She quieted down for a moment, and I was afraid that I had overloaded her system… until her head popped back towards me. “You mean I look like you?”
Okay, I’m officially offended. I’m not particularly handsome by any meaning of the term, but my looks generally don’t put people off. In fact, I clean up quite nicely. I’ve even had a few girlfriends in the past. “Okay, I’m going to pretend I’m not offended, and that you really don’t know what a human is.” My tone shifted from sarcastic to condescending. “There are a few ways to tell the difference between boys and girls, but the best way is between their legs. You can also determine gender from body size and shape and face shape.” Back to sarcastic. “In other words, yes, you look like me, but are smaller, a lot thinner, and you have tits, which I would appreciate it if you would cover.”
Throughout my rant, she had shrunk more and more into the corner. “I apologize, but I really didn’t know.”
God, why did I do that? I sighed. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that I’m confused, and I’m sure you’re confused, and my patience is wearing thin, which isn’t your fault, and there’s a beautiful woman in my bed, and I’m nervous, and…” Did I really just say that? Why did I say that? Oh, I hate when I ramble, and now I’m rambling in my head, I really need to-
“Do you really mean that?” Lis interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to notice that she was looking down and off to the side, blushing.
I blushed too, and struggled to stay looking at her. “Um, yeah. I guess I did.”
“Well, thanks.”
“No problem.”
Bring on the awkward silence!
Deciding to play along, I cleared my throat, and said “Well, if you aren’t familiar with humans, are you familiar with hands?” She looked back up at me sheepishly. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’. Well then.” I leaned over the bed and poked her hand. “This is a hand. You have two of them, one at the end of each arm.”
As I poked her, she followed my finger. Then she stared at her hand, still in a fist. As she slowly began to uncurl her fingers, I began to tap each of her fingertips with my pointer. “And these are fingers. You have ten of them, five on each hand. One of these five,” and I tapped her thumb, “is called a thumb.” She waggled her fingers for a bit, then shifted her attention to her other hand. She quickly straightened her fingers, and then waggled them as well.
Once she seemed comfortable with her fingers, I reached for the glass of water that was still sitting on the bedside table. I held it out in front of her with a challenging look in my eyes. She reached up and cupped her hands around it, and nervously nodded at me. I released my grip on the glass, prepared for the need to dry my bed. This proved unnecessary as she quickly downed the entire glass. She then looked back up to me, glass still in hand. Her smile slowly grew from one of awe to one of immense joy. This beautiful smile must have been incredibly contagious.
“Now how about we stand up? I feel like I need to get some clothes on you.”
She cocked her head at me again. That is so cute! “If you say so.” She crawled towards me, and I stood up. She watched me in awe. “Isn’t that difficult?”
I looked down at her and chuckled. “What, standing?”
“Yeah.”
“No, not at all. This is how all humans stand. Well, adult humans, anyway.”
She looked back at me, and smiled nervously. I offered my hand to her, and she took it. I backed away from the bed to give her room. “Now, sit on the edge of the bed.” She swung her legs around and sat down rather heavily. “Now put your feet on the ground, and stand up.” She followed my instructions, gripping my hand tightly. She was really uncertain, as if standing was foreign to her. I don’t think it’d be possible for anyone to act like this if they were familiar with the concept of standing. She slowly stood, using my arm for leverage, until she was standing shakily. After a few moments, she started to feel more certain. “I’m gonna let go now. I want you to try to stand on your own.” She nodded and let go of my arm.
She stood there for a moment or two, still not quite steady. Then she began to lean backward, overcorrected, and started to fall forwards, flailing her arms wildly. Reacting instinctively, we reached for each other, my arms hooking around her waist, her arms around my neck. We stood there for a moment, brown eyes meeting purple. We both blushed deeply at the same time, and released each other. She stumbled a bit, before quickly gaining her balance. She looked up at me and grinned.
“Ready to make our way to the closet?” I said, quickly pushing through the awkwardness of the moment.
She cocked her head again. “I guess so.”
I offered her my elbow, which she gladly accepted, and we began to make our way to the closet on the other side of the room, with her stumbling slightly every few steps. I hadn’t noticed earlier because she hadn't been standing, but she was really tall. Being roughly 6'2.5", most people that I interact with are shorter than I am. But she was as tall as I was,if not taller. If I had to take a guess, I'd say she was 6'2".
We made it to the closet and she let go of my arm. She’s made great progress in the, like, thirty second walk from the bed to the closet. She barely wobbled at all now, and I pulled out one of my longer t-shirts. “I don’t think any of my pants will fit you. Are you okay with just a shirt?”
She cocked her head at me again. “I’d be fine like this. But you seem to think otherwise. Why?”
I looked at her. “Because it’s kinda awkward to have you stay naked.”
She cocked an eyebrow this time, and nodded slowly. I held out the shirt, and she took it. She lifted it up and dropped it onto her head. She struggled for a moment, and I reached over to help her find the head and sleeves. The plain white t-shirt dropped softly down around her, covering her completely. I now understand why men say that their girlfriends look good in their shirts. She looked beautiful. I blushed again and looked away. Trying to break the one-sided awkward silence I myself created, I cleared my throat. “Um, so, uh, Lis. Can you tell me more about yourself?”
She stood there looking up at me. “Yeah, of course. I grew up in Canterlot. Being the capital of Equestria, it houses a lot of culture. Sounds fun, right? Well, I went to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, but didn’t do too well. I flunked out halfway through my second year. I’m kinda surprised I got in in the first place, seeing as I was never very powerful. Anyways, I had always had this same kind of build, so when I flunked, I was ‘discovered’ by a young Photo Finish. Never could figure out her accent, heh. I became a model, and that got me through life. I just recently met Fancy… pants…” She visibly paled, which I still count as an incredible feat with her skin tone. “Oh, Celestia! How could I forget about Fancypants!” And she broke down into sobs, covering her face with her hands. I reached out to try and console her, leading her to sit down on the bed. She eventually quieted down sufficiently enough for her to speak coherently.
“Are you okay, would you like to talk about it?”
She nodded, and sniffled once, before speaking. “Yeah. Fancypants was my best friend and confidant, has been for almost a year now. I…” She sniffled once or twice. “Do you think I’ll ever see him again?” She looked up at me as she said this, purple eyes large and watery.
D’awww! That’s adorable! I looked her in the eyes and sighed. “Lis, I can’t say for certain whether you’ll see him again. But I can honestly say that he is trying his hardest to find you, because no one would let a woman like you go.” She smiled a sad smile, but her eyes lit up. “And, I will be here for you. No matter what.” She looked confused, but her visage brightened considerably. “I just can’t stand to see a nice girl like you cry.” And she smiled brightly, but she still had tears in her eyes.
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Already read it, really good
RD APPROVES!
-Silverness
It's odd how only like two of these Ponyfalls have ended up causing tears.
d'awww, i hope this continues
392782 What do you mean? And thanks.
393251 He means that there are only two fics so far that have made their respective MLP characters cry because of their transformation and whatnot...
pretty good
PRE-TTY GOOD!
392804 It will. Don't worry.
393323 Thanks for the clarification.
Man, I am really a sucker for humanized ponies.
Despite me be willing to search in dumpsters for a decent Pony-on-Earth fic this story escapes Sturgeon's wrath. Let's hope you can keep it that way.
I particuarly like how she isn't quick to attack the closest strange creature she finds, as all the other Ponyfall fics seem to like.
However, I do have some constructive criticism to offer:
I thought her name was generally agreed to be Fleur-De-Lis, shortened to Fleur. I know Elizabeth was one of her early names, but it's practically canon now. It's enough that readers will wonder who this OC "Elizabeth" is and why she looks so similar to and shares an identical history with Fleur.
Second, Fleur (or "Lis") was abnormally tall in the show, over a full head taller than the average-sized Rarity. Is there any particular reason why this wasn't translated over? The sizwe-difference romance thing can easily played when the guy is shorter.
Other than those, a solid start. How soon can the next chapter be out?
Hello, reviewed your story. Sort of. If you want, read it here: Please?
397792 So I read it. In the sake of 'I don't particularly want to read through the rest of your stuff right now, but might later', was that a decent review? Of Little Lily, I mean. I don't really care about the others.
396173 Well, thanks for the positive comments. Um, I didn't really like having her say 'Hi my name is Fleur!' I just thought that that would sound stupid, and I found Elizabeth as one of her early names and liked it. Yeah, I can see how that might confuse people. About the height thing, I wasn't really looking at pictures of her in comparison to other ponies, and decided that I thought she should be shorter. I also kinda think that really tall girls that are also really skinny look odd. So I'm not going to change that. Sorry!
401044
I can deal with fanon names, since yeah, they really aren't canon. And fine, Elizabeth sounds normal.
But just making Lis arbitrarily short when she's shown to be quite tall? So she'll be able to cuddle under your lead's chin?
It's not like having a taller girl can't be romantic as well. And just because you don't like it? I suppose if I ever write Rarity, I'll make her mane a stark blue because I think she looks odd with hair that doesn't match her eyes. Her tallness (and therefore, similarity to the model of beauty in the land, Celestia) is a defining trait of hers, and just throwing that out the window is bad storytelling.
Besides, it's not as if women can't pull off the tall and skinny look.
I don't come to fimfiction looking for grade-A stories like Atlas Shrugged or Gone with the Wind. However, I do want everyone to become a good writer, and throwing out stuff like this is leading you on the wrong path.
Even though no hint of Starcraft this chapter, I'm gonna track or favourite or whatever this story, because STARCRAFT! FUCK YEAH!
403292
I understand, but this really is looking to be a good fic. Also you should check out some of the other ponyfall stuff. Most of them are pretty well done.
404886
I'm tracking like 6 of them, but I think I forgot to menion, that this fic is actually more realistic than the others, because learn how to walk, use fingers etc. and that's what I like about this story!
I sneaked into his room, and he doesn't notice
402236. Blah, blah, blah. Fine, give me a minute.
There. Ya happy now?
411109
I think we all learned a lesson about writing friendship today.
414179. Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Fantastic, i simply cant believe how well it is written!
419808 Why thank you. I try my best to be grammatically correct.
419817
wait a minute... now i cant remember is fallout equestria: pink eyes is as good or better than this... fuck
419876 Wouldn't know, never read it.
419882
you should, its an excelent story
419887 Eh, maybe. Right now I need to be writing about Lis and her fantastical adventures with ramen...
419902
if you mean the noodles then oh god that sounds so good...
both in the fiction and in real life
419920 Indeed I do. Being a carnivore by nature, I don't really have much that a pony could/would eat. Pasta seems like a decent vegetarian dish, and I don't cook, so ramen it is.
419930
i was seriously about to say to make sure that it dosent have any chunks of beef in it... but then i realized cup of soups and ramen are different
420027 Nope, I would never do that to Lis. It would just break her little heart.
420057
yeah... that would suck