Virtue and Vice: Equestria

by enigmaMystere

Equus Tactics #48

The sun is finally setting as Winter leaves Sweet Apple Acres, two warm boxes added to his saddlebags and the slightest hints of a spring added to his step. On his back, a sea green filly sits, happily chewing on the golden delicious that the farmer had given her.

“So, what do you think of them?” the unicorn asks with a smile.

“They’re nice. And really friendly, too.” She swallows her bite, looking at him with wide, curious eyes. “Why did we leave, though? Don’t you live there?”

Winter chuckles. “Sadly, no. I - we - live somewhere else in town. They’re just...friends.” He hesitates and blushes on the final word. “For now, anyway.”

“Really?” She tilts her head to one side. “I thought that the one you rescued was your wife…”

His blush only increases. “N-No...that isn’t how it works...besides, if it was, I’d be married to a few dozen ponies right now.” He chuckles awkwardly, hoping his red face will fade.

“I meant because of how you acted to her.” She reaches up, poking his cheek. “You do that around her, as well…”

“That’s...” He sighs. “Ash...please don’t bring this sort of thing up in front of others, okay? Especially not Applejack. Promise?”

She nods tersely to him. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t.”

“Thank you.” He looks around, as if making sure nopony else is listening. “Listen...I don’t know how things are where you come from, but here, love is a pretty weird thing. It doesn’t happen for any reason aside from the fact that one pony - or other sentient being - finds that they like another pony or sentient being, and then trips over themselves trying to get together with said other pony or sentient being.” He looks back at her. “That’s the stage I’m in right now. So if I’m acting weird around Applejack or when talking about her, that’s why. Does that answer your questions?”

Ash just stares back. “We… I… have never had that feeling before. You know that; I mentioned it on our way to the train, before you left to the other group.” She shakes her head. “From the way Dior described it, though… it seems like you just need to get more comfortable with her.”

“I know...” He sighs. “I think...I just have trouble because I get nervous around her. I know that’s exactly what I’m supposed to get over, but not knowing how she’ll react just makes even saying hello to her awkward.”

“Fair enough.” She shrugs and leans back against his neck, content to continue eating her apple. Winter sighs in relief at the lack of further questioning.

Within seconds, the duo comes across another couple ponies of the stallion’s team. “I’m telling you, Maud, dubstep and trance are what the party ponies prefer these days.”

“I don’t know if Pinkie agrees,” responds a flat voice. “I’ve never seen a party where she played those.”

“I mean the young, Canterlot crowd.” She stops her conversation when she sees the stallion, grinning wide. “Hey, Sol! How’s your sweet Apple pie doing?”

The unicorn smiles at the familiar face. “Steaming, savoury, and making me drool.” His smile slowly falls as a blush spreads across his face. “...you weren’t referring to literal pies, were you.”

“Didn’t know you had them.” She nervously chuckles, rubbing the back of her neck. “So, uh, where’s Merc? Isn’t he, I dunno, always with you?”

Winter grasps for the change of topic. “He went back home ahead of me a while ago. Apparently he and the Apple family dog became friends, and he wanted to show her our place.”

Maud blinks in thought. “Can foxes and dogs reproduce?”

“Forgive me, but I am going to ignore that question so as to block out mental images.”

“I’m not.” The white mare sticks her tongue out before continuing. “It’s rare, but possible. Anyways, have you guys seen G around?” She pauses as a large mirror is carried between them. “...or the recent setups being done for that carnival?”

The stallion raises an eyebrow, glancing at the mirror as it gets carried away. “To answer your first question, I haven’t seen featherface since we got off the train. She just flew off, saying she had stuff to do. As for your second question...what carnival?”

“The one Pinkie’s helping to set up.” She shrugs. “Apparently a friend of hers requested her help… some guy named Sand?”

“Pinkie helps set up just about every event in Ponyville, and I can list off seventeen ponies off the top of my head with the word Sand in their name. This is not really helping me learn specifics.”

Vinyl holds up a hoof. “It’s the same guy from that Goof-Off a while back.”

“...the what.” Winter just stares at her, deadpanned. “Please tell me you made that up.”

“She didn’t,” the earth mare explains. “Pinkie spoke of that event in a letter she wrote to me. She and another party planner had a duel. They became friends afterwards.”

“...the things I miss out on when I’m visiting Limelight,” the stallion groans. “Well, this should be fun.”

A small hoof taps his shoulder. “Mister Solstice? Who’s Limelight?”

He smiles back at the filly. “Limelight’s my younger sister. She still lives in Fillydelphia, so I have to go out of my way to meet up with her, which explains why I end up missing a lot of stuff that happens in town here.” He chuckles, reaching back and rubbing her head softly. “Not that I regret it.”

The other unicorn chuckles as the filly leans into the stallion’s hoof. “She really has grown attached to you, huh?”

“Lime? Yeah, being siblings does that, assuming it doesn’t drive you further apart.” He spares the inflatable gorilla and dolphin being carried by them only a single glance.

“Just because you are apart, doesn’t mean you aren’t close.” Another wise thought comes from Maud.

Vinyl looks from one pony to the other, confused. “...I was talking about Ash.”

“Oh.” Winter chuckles awkwardly, nuzzling the filly in question. “You’d have to ask her yourself. Conveniently, she’s right here for you to do so.”

“She doesn’t have to ask.” The sea green pony hugs the cobalt unicorn’s neck, looking at the mare. “I like Mister Solstice. He’s nice to me… like I’m his sister.” Smiling, the stallion lowers himself into a sitting position and reaches around, picking the filly up with his hooves and holding her in a hug against his chest.

“Aww… how cute…” Vinyl giggles brightly before a whack against the back of her head interrupts her. She turns to the offending party, hoof to her mane. “Hey, watch it! You could’ve…” She trails off, seeing the item that hit her.

Ash stares as well. “...is that a... giant eclair?”

Winter blinks, then after a moment, smirks. “I think I’m starting to see what’s going on with more...eclair-ity.”

The disk jockey simply groans, holding a hoof to her face. “Seriously? Dude, that was-”

The laughter of the filly cuts her off. “G-good one, Mister Solstice!” She loses the ability to speak after that, her body shaking with her giggle fit.

Smiling, Winter looks at the other unicorn. “Sorry, but I think I know whose opinion I’m going to listen to.” He starts petting Ash’s mane. “Apparently she found that joke to be bun-derful.”

Vinyl sighs, turning and leaving him and the other mare with the humor-ridden filly. “I’ll see you guys around. Gonna go home and wait for my stallion…”

“Night, Vi!” Winter calls after her before looking to Maud. “I think we should all head home, actually. Moon’s rising.”

“True. Have a good night.” She turns, heading in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.

With a smile, the remaining adult pony turns to the filly in his hooves. “Ready to head home, Ash?”

She nods, giggling brightly. “Yep!”

“Then let’s go.” Putting the filly on his back once again, the unicorn stands up and starts making his way through the town.

---

The door opens with a quiet squealing sound, signalling the arrival of two ponies. The larger of the two steps in, the smaller on his back, and closes the door behind them. “Merc, we’re home!”

The fox comes sprinting out of the office, a couple loose sheets of paper flitting after him. He slides as he tries to skid to a halt but ends up hitting the stallion’s foreleg with his head regardless, shaking himself before scowling at the wood flooring. ‘Stupid smooth surfaces...’

Winter chuckles. “I really need to carpet this room.” He scratches the kitsune behind the ear before making his way to the couch. “So, enjoy your time with Winona?”

‘Very much, yes.’ He chuckles, leaping up onto the arm of the sofa. ‘How about you and Miss Southern Belle?’

“We chatted, hung out, and baked a couple pies together. By which I mean she did most of the actual baking and I just grabbed stuff for her.” He levitates out the two still-warm pie boxes, placing them on the coffee table. “She realized pretty quickly how little food preparation knowledge I had...probably around the time I tried to preheat the oven and instead somehow turned it into a freezer.”

Mercury stares blankly at him. ‘...well, it’s better than the time you somehow flooded the cooking area at HQ...’

“I still say there was a glitch in the dishwasher,” the unicorn grumbles.

‘You were using the stove.’

“Then it was a really bad glitch.” He opens one of the boxes, the scent of the fresh pie wafting out under the noses of all three of them. “Let’s argue about this another time, okay? We just got home. Let’s relax.”

The silver fox holds up a paw. ‘Not until you answer one question.’

Winter sighs as he takes a knife out to begin cutting one of the pies. “For the last time, no, you can’t go TP Gilda’s house. We don’t even know where she lives.”

‘That’s not what I meant… even though she deserves it.’ He nods towards the staircase. ‘What’s with that lockbox in the basement?’

The unicorn’s magic falters, and the knife drops to the table. He looks to Mercury. “...excuse me?”

‘Winona ran through a bunch of empty boxes down there, and found some dark lockbox with a four-digit combination.’ He eyes the blade stuck vertically in the table. ‘I’m… gonna take a stab in the dark and say you know what I’m talking about?’

“Yes. I do.” He stares at the fox evenly. “Don’t open that box. It’s dangerous.”

“What?” The filly on his back finally speaks up, rubbing her tired eyes. “Is it some kind of… Pandora’s box?”

The stallion looks at her, confused. “...not sure what that is, but...long story short, if you open it, chances are its contents will kill you.”

‘Really?’ Mercury tilts his head to one side, the filly mimicking the action. ‘What can do that?’

“Volatility.” Winter picks the kitchen knife back up and resumes cutting the pie. “You know how Equinox consists of six daggers with enchantments? Well, there was originally a seventh one, but I misread the spell as I was enchanting it. Now it has a mind of its own, and will attack any living being it sees, except myself. And the effects aren’t pretty.”

‘I… didn’t know you made another one...’ He scratches his head, confused. ‘What was it supposed to do?’

“I originally wanted to enchant it to be a Poison Joke blade,” the unicorn explains, passing the fox a slice of pie and the filly another. “When I wasn’t looking, the wind must have turned the pages, because I ended up casting some sort of ‘come-to-life’ spell instead. Of course, me being as stupid as I am, I just flipped back and cast the original spell again despite this.” He sighs, cutting a third piece for himself, noticeably smaller than the others. “It didn’t look like it worked. So I did it again. And again. And I basically enchanted the blade six times over before it finally started working. If you can call it ‘working’.”

‘So… it has six times the potency, then?’ He digs into his pie, muzzle soon sticky from the filling.

“Not even as simple as that.” Winter just pokes at his own dessert. “Ever heard of Killing Joke?”

‘Ah… no, not really.’

Ash swallows her current mouthful, looking to the stallion in confusion. “Is that the same as Joker Gas? You know, from that one movie?”

He shakes his head. “No. Killing Joke is sort of the long-lost relative of the Poison Joke, and he’s long-lost because Poison Joke disowned him.” He sighs. “Poison Joke’s effects are just mostly harmless ironic pranks that depend on the pony. For example, a pony who could see in the dark would be made almost blind.” He finally takes a small bite of his food before continuing. “Killing Joke is...not so harmless. They bring intense pain, and even death, upon their victims that are supposed to be ‘jokes’ based on something they said. So if I said I considered myself a ‘heartless killer’, and touched Killing Joke, it’d do something like rip my heart out. Literally. Or if I said I wished I had larger magical reserves, touching Killing Joke would increase the amount of magic I had in me until my head exploded from the pressure.”

‘Damn, Win. Good thing you locked that thing away.’ He moves to take another bite before stopping, staring at the stallion’s tail. ‘...do you normally have blue in your tail?’

The unicorn whips around to look. “What?!”

Ash nudges into his tail, surfacing with a four-petaled blue plant in her mouth. She drops it on the couch, smiling at it. “Wow… such a pretty flower…”

The unicorn blinks, then groans and facehoofs. “Celestia dammit...now I’m scared to sleep.”

‘Let me guess...’ Mercury sighs, resting his head on his paws. ‘Poison Joke?’

“Yep.” Winter sighs. “Speak of Sombra and he will appear...”

The kitsune groans, rubbing his face with a paw. ‘So… I guess we’ll find out what that entails, tomorrow...’

The unicorn nods reluctantly. “But we’re heading to Zecora’s place first thing in the morning.” He turns his attention back to his pie, which surprisingly has barely cooled. “And just when today seemed to be going so well.”

---

The town square of Ponyville, and the surrounding streets, are abound with ponies, the party of the week well underway. With all the activities, games, and confections available, everyone is having fun. Everyone, that is, except the two figures by the entrance.

“Um...” The light yellow pegasus rubs at her ear. “I-I’m sorry, could you please explain that again…?”

The silver fox on her back groans, rubbing his face with a paw. 'Win and AJ are going to be late. The big lug got hit by a Poison Joke blossom, and woke up this morning looking a bit too radiant. Ash got hit, too, but begged me not to describe what happened to anyone.' He nods in the direction of the forest. 'They're going to see that zebra in the woods... whose name escapes me.'

“O-Okay...” She reaches up and scratches him on top of the head. “Sorry...I just didn’t understand the first time.”

He murrs softly, leaning into her hoof. 'It's not your fault, Miss Fluttershy... Win just woke me up at midnight and kept me up...'

“Oh...that bad?”

'For me, yes.' He nuzzles her cheek, hoping she can reach further down his body. 'He slept like a log all night... between my shoulders, please?'

She giggles and obeys his request. “I hope Zecora can help him, then...and Ash as well.” She pauses. “Why isn’t Applejack coming, though?”

---

"Thank you for guiding us, Miss Applejack..." Ash smiles warmly from her spot on her back, readjusting the hat on her head. "We'd probably be lost if it wasn't for you..."

Turning her head around for a moment, the farm mare smiles and rubs her trademark hat she had loaned to her. “No problem, Ash. Ah figured it’d be good for a least one pony on this trip to know where they were going.”

"I'm glad... this forest is a bit too scary, anyways..." She nuzzles her neck before looking to the cobalt pony nearby. "At least we have a light to guide our way."

“At least I’m bright for the first time in my life,” Winter remarks, looking over his lit-up self.

AJ chuckles. “That and the little filly here won’t need a nightlight for now.”

The pony in question, meanwhile, looks up at Winter with a small frown. "Mister Solstice, you're always smart... at least, from what I've seen..." Her borrowed hat slips down over her eyes, making her yelp in surprise.

“You’d be surprised, then.” The unicorn lifts the hat back up enough that she can see.

She softly smiles, a small blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. She turns back to the path ahead, raising herself up with her forehooves on the mare's head. "It's still a little dark... how far away are we, Miss Applejack?"

“Shouldn’t be too far now, Ah reckon.” They continue trotting along the path. “Zecora’s place is just a straight shot down this here road.”

There's a tap on her head before the filly points to a broken tree surrounded by a thorn bush. "What happened there?"

Vaguely recognizing the place, Applejack just shakes her head and moves on. “Just a bit of usual Everfree Forest stuff, Ah’d guess. Wind or critter got it, Ah’d imagine.”

"Oh..." Ash goes quiet for a moment. "I was hoping there'd be a cool story behind it... I like stories..."

The mare thinks for a moment. “Well, it did remind of the time the girls and Ah got hit by Poison Joke… how’s that for a story you might want to hear?”

The filly brightens up almost instantly, nodding eagerly. "Yes, please!"

“I’d like to hear that,” Winter agrees.

“Alright, but try not to laugh too much…” They continue trotting along, closing in on the herbalist's house. With the story to entertain them, they spot it in no time.

As the story nears its end, the green filly holds up a hoof. "Wait, you... you did what to that pegasus?" She struggles to get that sentence out, her body shaking from her laughter.

Applejack laughs. “Hey, she wasn’t doin’ any good flying by herself, so Ah had to take the reigns for either of us to get anywhere!”

“Literally, huh?” Winter laughs.

“It got the job done.” She lifts up her nose with a smirk, not the least bit ashamed.

"And then, in the hut... she..." She bites her lip, fighting to keep herself from bursting out in giggles.

The mare finishes the thought, “...crashed into just as much as she does when can actually fly straight? Yep.”

“Your friends are almost as unlucky as mine,” the unicorn comments.

“Yeah, but considerin’ everythin’, Ah think we come out ahead most of the time.” She chuckles. “To be honest, Ah think it’s just somethin’ with the town. Things get crazy pretty often here.”

"Crazy how?" Ash asks, tapping the mare's head before catching sight of some light up ahead.

The mare actually slows down for a moment. “It’s… difficult ta explain. Just stick around for a while, ya’ll will see what Ah mean.”

Meanwhile, as they had chatted, the group had arrived in front of the local zebra’s hut. Her large hollow tree she lives in is dotted on the outside with various masks and flasks, most of which only hold meaning to the owner. To newcomers they may give off an eerie vibe, but for friends such as Applejack, they are simply part of the zebra’s charm.

The filly on her back, however, is a newcomer. She crouches down, trying to hide behind the farmer, trembling softly.

The farm mare turns her head, nuzzling the filly. “No need ta be afraid there. Zecora’s nice. She helps us all the time.”

"I..." She looks from the mare to the hut and back, whimpering quietly. "I-if you're sure..."

Without another word, Applejack raises her hoof and knocks a few times on the door. After a moment, the door opens to reveal a zebra, looking at the trio with a calm smile. She winces when the light radiating off of Winter’s body reaches her eyes, but she manages to regain her composure and look to Applejack for an explanation.

She simply gestures to both the stallion and filly. “Sorry ta bother ya, Zecora, but we got another couple ponies here who got a dose of Poison Joke.”

“Ah, the flower is once more affecting your friends?” The zebra smiles in amusement. “I assume, to their ailments, you wish me to attend?”

She nods, smiling. “That'd be mighty nice of ya.”

Zecora nods, motioning for them to follow her into the hut. They do so, Ash still trying half-successfully to fully hide herself under AJ’s hat while the lightbulb stallion continues to provide reasons for ponies to wear sunglasses indoors.

“The ingredients to mix the cure, I can provide,” Zecora says to them in her usual way of speaking. “A tub to bathe in, however, it is up to you to find. A small tub for one, I do possess; but to put both of you in would make quite the mess.”

"Then why can't we go one at a time?" Ash ducks back behind the farmer as she finishes her sentence.

“We’ve got a party to go to,” Winter explains. “It’d take a while for us both to get cleaned up and still make it in time.”

The filly's practically curled up in a ball, at this point, the Stetson pulled tightly down over her eyes. "I don't mind not being able to go. You can go ahead and take one first..." Riiiip!

The unicorn blinks at the ripping sound before electing to ignore it in favour of the filly’s current demeanour. Kneeling down beside her, he pulls her into a comforting hug. “What’s wrong, Ash?”

“I don’t want anyone seeing me like this…” She whimpers, acutely aware of the conical shapes poking out of the top of the hat.

“Well…” AJ begins, “we do have plenty of wash tubs on the farm. We use em for all kinds of things. If you can let us have the ingredients, Zecora, Ah can just get them their bath there and we’ll already be in town.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me,” the zebra agrees with a smile. “Wait here, and I will get you the things you need.” She turns and heads into a side room, looking for the right herbs and chemicals.

Applejack looks to the two of them. “Ya’ll don’t mind a little outdoor bath with the hose, do ya?”

The filly shakes her head. “No, I don’t… as long as no one else sees…”

“Now don’t you worry, we’ll go behind our barn and be done before ya know it.” She winks to ease the filly’s mind.

“Agreed. I’m fine with bathing outside if it’s not in public.” Winter nods as the zebra returns, a jar in her muzzle. She passes it to the farmer.

“Thank ya kindly.” She takes the jar, nodding to the zebra as she stows it in her bags.

The shining stallion turns to her. “Should we get going now, then? I don’t want to miss too much of the party.” He continues petting Ash’s mane through the torn hat, attempting to calm her down.

She seems to calm down a bit, pushing up the hat a bit to peek at the stallion. “Y-yes, please…”

Smiling, the unicorn picks her up. He looks to Applejack with a sheepish expression. “Sorry about your hat.”

She raises an eyebrow. “What about it?” He motions to the rip caused by the filly pulling on it. “Oh…” Applejack goes quiet a moment before lifting up a hoof and rubbing the filly’s head. “Well, there’s no way I can be mad at you. Besides, Ah got a spare or two at home. Ya can keep that one if ya want.”

Ash looks at her, hopeful. “Really? I can?”

She nods. “Sure! Ya’ll seem pretty fond of it anyway. It’d be a shame ta have to take it back.”

“Thank you, Miss Applejack…” She smiles warmly at the farmer, her grip loosening on the hat.

“Heh, yer welcome.” She starts walking towards the door. “Come on, let’s get you two back to normal.”

“Good idea.” The unicorn stands up, the filly moving to his back, and follows after the orange earth pony. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to feel a little lightheaded.”

Ash giggles softly, nuzzling his neck. “Another good one, Mister Solstice…”

“They just come in flashes of brilliance.” He smirks as the filly on his back can’t help but break out into peals of laughter. “I love my life.”

---

Meanwhile, back in town, the single griffon from Tactics walks around, barely affording a glance to each stall in the little festival that popped up. Her avian eyes sweep back and forth as she walks, her path given berth by the ponies in the street.

From the opposite direction comes a burgundy pegasus, trying to move through the crowd, searching for someone. The pony stops as the others suddenly step away, visibly confused. “...what is that about?”

Suddenly, Gilda brushes past him, not paying him a single mind. He blinks, turning to the griffon and smiling brightly. “Hey, it’s you!” He rushes to catch up to her, chuckling softly. “It’s good to have a friendly face while navigating this place, huh?”

She turns to him, eyes resting on him a moment. “Yeah… sure…” She turns back, resuming her walking and looking.

He frowns, nudging her shoulder with a wing. “Hey, are you looking for something? I could help, if you are.”

She grumbles quietly. “Not looking for anything…”

“Oh, so you’re looking for someone, then?” The pegasus grins widely. “Perhaps a special someone?”

Her wings ruffle, but she doesn’t face him. “None of your business!”

“Ah, so it is a special someone!” He moves in front of her, walking backwards with a goofy grin on his face. “Is it someone I know? Maybe a certain sea-green unicorn?”

“Pah!” She scoffs, quickening her pace to walk past him. “He wishes.”

He quirks an eyebrow at her. “Well, that was a bit harsh.” He shakes his head as he presses forward, easily keeping up with her. “Okay, so not Volt. What about a certain former guard? One who is currently dating one of the Wonderbolts?”

She rolls her eyes. “Look, I’m not looking for anypony.” She spots a stall off to the side. “I was looking for the ring toss.” Quickly heading over, she exchanges a few words with the yellow earth pony mare running the booth and is soon lining up her toss.

“Really?” He follows, standing next to her. “I could’ve sworn we passed by this while we were talking… twice.”

“You were distracting me.” She tosses a ring and misses. “You still are.”

“Oh?” He turns to the booth pony, smiling warmly. “Can I play, too? Any rules I need to know about?”

The mare running the booth just pushes some rings to him, but keeps a hoof on them until he pays. “Just aim to get a ring around the pegs. The farther back and tougher the peg is to reach, the better the prize you receive. Three rings for a bit.”

“Well, that sounds fair.” He reaches into one of his saddle bags and pulls out a couple bits. “I’ll take three, and three for my friend, here.” He turns to her, smirking playfully. “How about a bet, Gilda?”

If she had ears, they’d be twitching. Instead, she tilts her head at him. “I’m listening…”

“Whoever gets the most rings on the pegs at the end wins. I’ll even let you have the ones you’re using right now.” He chuckles, looking at the pegs before them intensely. “I win, you have to be honest with me. And trust me, I can tell when someone’s lying… most of the time.”

She looks down to her rings once before looking back at him. “What do I get if I win?”

“I’ll let you decide.” He takes his own trio of rings, smirking at her. “Doubt you’ll win, though.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, she picks up a single ring. “Oh, it’s on.” The mare running the booth steps back, partially to get out of the way and partially to watch the competition, a wide grin on her face.

“Please,” the stallion gestures to the pegs, “ladies first.”

She gives him a look before defiantly throwing her ring, barely catching on the lips of the target. “Yes! You’re going down!” Many rings later, that first success proved to be her only one.

The pegasus nods, glancing around a second. “Not too bad. But now,” he lifts up his first ring, “it’s my turn.” He tosses it, his confident smile slowly fading as it bounces erratically before falling off the table. He stares for a second before turning to the mare, bemused, wings flaring out slightly. “Your booth isn’t equipped to handle cross breezes, is it?”

The mare tilts her head. “Um...I don’t think so?” Her confusion is quickly masked by a smirk. “But if you’re just trying to pin the blame for your bad aim on something else, don’t bother. I’ve heard all the excuses. Now come on, you’ve got two more shots. Time’s a-wastin’.”

“I’m not wasting time.” He smirks, turning back to the pegs. “I was checking the wind pattern.” He tosses his next ring, watching as it bounces from peg to peg before circling one three rows from the back, falling down over it. “See?”

“Uh...” The mare blinks, unable to think of a response.

“Not good enough?” He chuckles, closing his eyes and tossing his last one. It circles the peg in the middle of the back and drops down onto it. “How about now?”

She stares, finally sighing in obvious irritation. “And I thought it was annoying dealing with all the ponies with a throwing rings for cutie marks.” She plucks a couple of stuffed animals from the sides of the booth and drops them on the table, an amused smirk creeping onto her features. “So much for an intense competition, though. You left her in the dust, and she had almost twice as many rings as you.”

“To be fair, I do have a minor advantage over her.” He chuckles, shrugging and grabbing the plush toys. He turns and drops them into his bag, craning his neck to look inside it. “Heads up!”

As Gilda walks away from the booth shaking her head, she could swear she hears giggling quietly coming from the bag. “Well, you won… I guess.”

“Yep. Now tell me…” He drapes a wing over her shoulders, giving her a serious look. “...who is the pony you fell for?”

She looks decidedly uncomfortable, looking around at the crowded street. “Can we do this somewhere else?”

The pegasus nods. “If that would make you more comfortable.”

---

“I’m starting to think this plan’s a little washed up,” Winter grumbles.

“Quit yer whinin’. The little filly’s havin’ her fun, why ain’t you?” Applejack scrubs his mane with a brush as the two other ponies bathe in the special mix of ingredients.

The stallion tries his best not to flinch away from the brush. “Well, for one thing, I’ve never needed somepony else to bathe me since I was seven years old, and I’m almost three times that age now. Sorry if this is an almost foreign concept to me.”

Before the mare could say anything else, Ash surfaces, spitting a mouthful of water out at the unicorn and diving right back in. Two conical shapes protruding from the water show where she is as she circles around in the tub.

“...and for another, it’s hard to have fun when I don’t get to do what she’s doing.” He makes an exaggerated pouting face. “Instead, I just have to sit here.”

“Sure you don’t just miss glowin’?” She smirks at him, splashing a bit of water at him as she scrubs.

He shuts his eyes to keep the soapy water out of them, his glasses offering no such protection due to being on the ground several feet away. “No, not really. It wasn’t something I took lightly.”

This earns him another splash even as the mare chuckles. “Careful ya don’t overuse those puns of yers. Gotta save some for Ash.”

“Oh, please. She’s living with me now. Give it three days, and she’ll be holding my own knives to my throat to get me to stop making them.” He rolls his eyes, but smiles a bit despite himself.

“Why would I do that?” She pops up right in front of him, her horns jabbing his nose and causing him to yelp in surprise. “I like your jokes, Mister Solstice.”

He rubs at his nose, checking to see if it’s begun bleeding; thankfully, all seems clear. “Jokes get old over time. And sooner or later, I start repeating them. You’ll get bored of them eventually.” He slowly smirks. “But I think I know a different way to make you laugh that won’t become boring.”

“I doubt they’d get boring, Mister Solstice. Besides, if you want to try the other way… you’ll have to catch me!” She giggles, jumping back into the water and splashing him.

Applejack just shakes her head, finishing up the stallion. “Just dunk and ya should be all good.”

With a nod to the farmer, Winter dunks his head under the water for a second before coming back up with a yelp, scrubbing furiously at his eyes.

“Now how is it you go under once and get hurt while she’s under constantly and hasn’t had a problem?” She offers him a clean washcloth, which he gratefully takes and wipes his eyes out with. “Good, now comes the hard part… catching her so we can wash her.”

“Got a plan for that?” the unicorn asks, rather loudly. “The only ideas I can come up with are soak-complicated.” He gets a splash in the face for his choice of words, and bubbles start floating to the surface. Quickly, he lights his horn and grabs just underneath the surface where the bubbles are coming from, latching onto a certain filly and pulling her up to fresh air. “Got her.”

Ash keeps on laughing, coughing and gasping for air in between but otherwise alright. “There’s the cutie. Now hold still…” AJ dunks the washcloth, starting to clean the now-squirming filly’s coat. She starts pushing the mare’s hoof away, whining softly.

Winter paddles over and puts a hoof on the filly, trying to be comforting. “Don’t worry, Ash...just let her wash you off, and you’ll be back to normal. Won’t take more than a minute.”

She looks up at him, frowning softly. “R-really? They’ll… they’ll go back down?”

He nods with a smile. “It got rid of my glowy problem, didn’t it?”

The young pony slowly nods, poking his chest with a hoof. “I liked when you were shiny… I didn’t need a nightlight…”

“But do you really need a nightlight?” He nuzzles her. “You’ve got myself and Merc right there. Light or dark, you’re safe as can be.”

“I… I suppose you’re right…” She sighs and turns to the farmer, eyes closed. “You… you can wash me, Miss Applejack…” The unicorn turns to the farmer as well, smiling and giving a nod to continue.

“Well shoot, while ya’ll were sitting there chattin’, Ah almost finished up with you.” She sets the cloth to the side, grabbing the brush. “All that’s left is mane and tail.” The mare gently starts scrubbing the filly’s mane. “Not quite so bad, is it?”

Ash hums softly, leaning into the pony’s hoof. “Nnnno… that’s nice…”

Applejack laughs quietly. “Other world or not… all of ya are the same…”

“Adorable, isn’t she?” Winter smiles as he gives the filly the best hug he can without disturbing Applejack’s work.

“That she is…” Easily finishing her mane, AJ moves to her tail. “Try ta hold still even if it tickles.”

The green pony looks down at her, chuckling brightly. “My tail’s not ticklish…”

“No, but I’m willing to bet your belly is,” Winter interrupts with a grin, lifting a hoof dangerously. Ash squeaks, her hindlegs rising up to protect her belly, causing the stallion to chuckle. “Thought so.” He slowly moves his hoof in.

“Done!” Applejack announces, suddenly letting the filly go and subtly nudging her in the stallion’s direction.

Before anything else can happen, she leaps out of the tub, moving behind the farmer and shoving her into the tub. She runs around the corner, leaving the two of them to soak in the tub.

With her now-wet mane covering her face, AJ sits there. “That… did not work out like Ah expected.”

“Rarely anything does when I’m involved.” Winter shrugs, rubbing his eyes to clear them from the water that got on his face. When he manages to get them open and sees how the earth pony mare looks, he immediately starts cracking up.

She wipes her mane away so she can see, giving him a small stink eye even as she smirks. “And what is so funny?”

“N-Nothing...” he manages out, still laughing as he leans against the side of the tub to stay afloat. His laughter quickly fades away when he realizes how close to the farmer he is, not to mention both of them soaking wet. His face goes red.

She quirks an eyebrow at this before her hoof suddenly shoots to his head and dunks him under. “Cool off, there sugarcube.” Chuckling to herself, she steps out of the tub, shaking herself relatively dry. “We’ve got a filly to find.”

The unicorn sputters as he resurfaces, scrubbing at his face again. “W-Will you quit it with the water in the eyes?!” He clambers out of the tub and falls facefirst onto the grass, still mostly blinded. “I don’t wear glasses for looks, you know!”

A towel flops over his head. “Then think about that next time.” She dries off his face, being careful around his eyes. “There, see? No harm done.”

“Right, no harm...” Once he can see again, he turns and begins shaking himself out much like the earth pony had done, making sure to get as much condensation as possible onto her. He smirks playfully.

“Careful there, it ain’t a rope, but Ah think Ah can make do.” She cracks the towel at him, chuckling.

He quirks an eyebrow, his smirk remaining. “So you’re saying you want to use rope on me? I’d rather you didn’t. That brings up bad memories.” Behind his joking face, his left eye twitches ever so slightly, and he turns away as though regretting mentioning it.

The next thing he feels is a soft nuzzle. “Sorry about bringin’ it up then. Come on, a good cutie chase will help get yer mind off things.” She bumps him lightly.

“Right...let’s hope-” He gets cut off as a red fruit suddenly falls from above him, getting speared perfectly on his horn. He winces, freezing in place. “...ow...”

“Bullseye!” The filly pokes her head over the edge of the barn roof, smiling brightly. Her grin slowly fades at the look on his face, however. “...Mister Solstice? Are you alright?”

Slowly, the unicorn reaches up with a hoof and pulls the apple off of his horn, letting it fall to the grass as he tries to wipe the juice off. His voice when he speaks is clearly restrained; what emotion he’s holding back, however, is unclear. “...perfectly...fine...”

She whines, her ears flattening against her head. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

“Didn’t...hurt me.” He shudders. “...much.”

Applejack looks up at Ash, tapping the ground in front of her. “Get down here, it ain’t safe up there.”

“I… okay…” She turns and moves away from the edge, the few apples next to her rolling down over the eaves. They mostly land on the farmer and the stallion’s back, the latter barely reacting. The filly shows up around the edge of the barn a minute later, a mug of something balancing on her head. She carefully walks it over to the cobalt pony. “Will this make up for it?”

The mare simply watches, curious how he’ll react. He finally makes a proper movement, looking down and smiling awkwardly. “Th-thanks, Ash...” He picks the mug up with his hooves, noticeably not making use of his magic. “Sorry...it’s just...my horn’s pretty sensitive. Like a funny bone, but even worse.” He takes a sip.

“Oh…” She looks up at his sticky horn, frowning slightly. “...should we clean it up? Or… would it be sensitive to that, too?”

He blinks, then shrugs. “I can clean it up myself, but thanks for the offer. Unicorn horns are...not something other ponies touch very often.” He squirms a bit and takes another sip to avoid continuing the conversation.

“Hmm…” Kicking the towel over to Ash, Applejack walks to the tub and comes back with a small cup of water. “Win, close yer eyes.”

Blinking, the stallion puts his mug on the ground and shuts his eyes. “I don’t like where this is going.”

Without another second wasted, she soaks his head. “Yer havin’ ta get dried off too much today.” She nods to Ash, who tosses the towel over his horn. The filly then tries to dry it, but her hooves only reach his muzzle from where she’s standing. Cracking his eyes open and noticing this, the unicorn kneels down to give her a better reach, which she readily takes advantage of, carefully cleaning his horn with the clean(ish) cloth.

“Thanks, you two,” Winter says after a moment once his horn is clean. “Sorry for freezing up like that...hope I didn’t worry you.”

Applejack laughs. “Nah, ya’ll got yer quirks just like everypony else.”

“Quirks...yeah, that’s one way to put it.” He chuckles. “A lot nicer than what others call them.”

Ash speaks up, gently nuzzling his chest. “Those ponies don’t appreciate them, then.”

“Yeah, but we do.” AJ scoops up the filly and sets her on top of Winter’s head. “Now, who’s up for a bit of fun in town?” The young pony eagerly raises her hoof, as does the unicorn with another chuckle. “Well then,” she flicks the stallion’s flank with her tail, “get along there, Win!”

Winter jumps at the unexpected flick and trots along at a brisk pace, doing his best to stay ahead of the farmer so she can’t see his massive blush.

Comments

[CaptainSanchez]

WHEEEEEE!