Virtue and Vice: Equestria

by enigmaMystere

Equus Tactics #50

The group approaches Canterlot Castle, their large group and purposeful strides giving them unhindered travel through the city even in the face of the snootiest of nobles. Though one issue is that with sidewalks being how they are, the group must stretch out a bit or risk becoming a bit too close for comfort. This leads to limited chatting partners, but as the murmur of conversation never ceases, none of them seem to mind overly much on this night.

Ruby glances over her shoulder, watching a couple that they passed, noticing the expressions on their faces. "...they seem angry..."

"Probably didn't get their way for once." Rhino chuckles grimly. "Kind of the typical attitude way up here near the castle."

"Really?" She looks up at her father, confused. "But... what about Mimi and grandpa? They live here, don't they?"

"Yes, but our family has always been kind. Plus, they live on the outskirts where we don't have to pay generations of debt or be royalty to have a big yard." Cocking his head in thought, he looks to his wife. "Do you think we should pay them a visit after the ball? You know they always love being swarmed by their grandfoals."

"I don't see why not." The navy nymph smiles, nuzzling his chin tenderly. "Do you think Dior would like to come with us?" She kisses him briefly, pulling away with a teasing nip on the nose.

Ruby focuses her eyes on the ground, blushing gently. "...could you please not do that while I'm between you?"

The stallion chuckles, leaning down and nuzzling his pink daughter before planting a kiss on her forehead. "You know, you nipped my muzzle even more than she did when you were a tiny thing. It's part of being a loving family... especially a part changeling one." He looks back up to Gel, sending a pulse of love her way as he leans over and nips her ear. "I think it wouldn't hurt to ask. A little mini family reunion."

"I think-" She stops, some movement in the corner of her eye catching her attention. She turns and stares back at the cobalt unicorn, who currently has a sea-green filly laying on top of his upturned face. "...she'll be up for it... Sol, what are you doing?"

"...I was contemplating this bad feeling I was getting and trying to figure out whether it was some sort of bad omen or just me being paranoid about a formal occasion," he replies. "Then I got distracted by something cute."

"Mister Winter was looking so sad..." Ash smiles softly, her tail swishing behind her and across the top of his head. "I thought I'd cheer him up!"

He chuckles and levitates her into his foreleg. "I'm fine, silly. Just don't have much to say, you know?"

"Nothing to say?" She pouts softly, even as she's curled up in his embrace. "But I like hearing your voice... you tell the best stories!"

Blushing a bit but smiling nonetheless, he nuzzles her. "What would you like to talk about then?"

"How about..." She taps his nose, giggling brightly. "...the time you met Miss Applejack? Mercury says that's a good story."

"Uh..." He blushes even more. "Um... M-Mercury says a lot of things. It isn't really that interesting..."

"Aww..." She looks up at him, her eyes wide and pleading. "Please, Mister Winter?"

He sighs, nuzzling her again. "Like I said, not very interesting... I went to Ponyville after being assigned there as the guard division's captain, and as part of procedure set by the mayor, I had to be introduced to the Elements of Harmony. This included Applejack, obviously. We said hi, learned names, they all got confused at how laid-back I was, and we went back to our everyday lives."

Ash blinks at this, confused. "...wait, so... it wasn't love at first sight, like Mercury said?"

Winter winces, glancing around before replying quietly. "That was... more of the second meeting... which I'll count as 'love at first sight' because all six of them were there for the first one, and it was just her and myself for the second." He pauses. "...why am I telling you this?"

"Because it's sweet." The filly giggles, kicking her hooves happily. "So... how'd your second meeting with her go?"

"She came by my place the next day with a pie as a welcoming gift," he replies, having given up trying to dodge the subject. "I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but from what I can remember, I invited her in and we ended up talking for a while to get a bit more detailed than just five-minute introductions. Merc was there the whole time, and pretty much right after she left, he started teasing me about crushes and staring."

"Were you staring at her eyes? Her smile?" She taps her chin, trying to think of what drew his attention.

He blushes immensely. "...yes."

"Yes to which one?"

"...either of them?" He nuzzles her, trying to think of a distraction. "It's not really important, is it?"

She looks up at him, the gears visibly turning in her head. "...it was her tush, wasn't it?"

He groans. "Yeah..."

"Oh." She tilts her head to one side. "Miss Dior said that stallions like to look there... so I suppose that makes sense, I guess?"

"Promise not to go spreading this news to anyone?" he asks in response.

"I promise." She smiles warmly at him. "May I still ask her about her side of the story?"

He smiles back, nuzzling her. "Sure thing. We're going to be meeting up with her later anyway, so you can ask her then."

"Yay!" She hugs him around the neck, happily nuzzling his cheek. He nuzzles back, glancing forward to see how close they are to the castle now. Surprisingly, they all find themselves right outside the gates, the castle towering above them majestically.

Winter chuckles. "You want to stick with me or go off on your own?"

She grips him a little tighter. "Stay with you, please?"

"Sure thing, silly." He nuzzles her once more as they approach the entrance.

The guard on the left clears his throat, clearly a few hours in on his shift as he recites at them. "Name, purpose for visiting the castle, and ID please." He looks over them smoothly, the only flaw in his trained stance being an eyebrow that raises ever so slightly at the composition of their party.

Winter straightens his stance. "Captain Winter Solstice. Heroes' Ball Attendance." He levitates out his ID as he glances to the others for them to do the same.

The burgundy pegasus steps forward, bowing low in respect. "Professor Enigmatic Harvest. Heroes' Ball Attendance." He bends his neck down, pulling a card out of a shirt pocket.

A card floats out of Rhino's saddlebags, hovering before the guards in a green aura. "Rhino of the Nexus clan. Heroes' Ball."

Another follows shortly after, held up next to the emerald stallion's. "Ex-colonel Gel of the Nexus Clan. Same."

Dior approaches him from the other side, her card surfacing from the stone of her hoof. "General Diorite. Second verse, same as the first."

Next comes up the red stallion, nosing his card out of his chest pocket. "Hydro Pump. Here for the Ball."

Another card floats over. "Voltage Surge. Party crasher." A warning tap on his side makes him chuckle. "Sorry. The Ball, of course."

Finally, the alabaster unicorn steps forward, grinning cockily. "I don't think I need an introduction. I'm here for the Ball, and to liven up the party a bit." Behind her, Winter winces a bit.

Ruby blinks, staring at the card levitating in the unicorn's magical aura. "...what is that?"

"ID card," Winter explains to her briefly. "Does she have one, Rhino?"

As the guard looks them all over, Rhino shakes his head. "No, she was to get hers before the next time we gathered."

As the one on the left starts passing the IDs back, the one on the right speaks. "Sorry, sir, but the castle is closed to all those without proof of identification to show they are allowed access."

The filly gulps, stepping forward and shakily introducing herself. "M-my name is Ruby Pinch, of the Nexus Clan. I, um... I came here for the Heroes' Ball." She takes a deep breath, bowing respectfully. "Please let me in. My friend is in there, and she's waiting for me."

The guard's face doesn't move. "Little filly, you aren't the first to say something like that." He looks up at the face Rhino is making. "And you, sir, are not the first to give me that look, not even today."

The green stallion snorts a bit of air as he digs in his bags, grumbling quietly. "Where'd I put that invite..."

She grits her teeth, stepping forward, eyes unwavering. "How many times have you heard this?" She leans in close, her voice just loud enough for the little group to hear. "I'm a member of Equestria's Stealth division. I haven't been around long enough to get an ID, but I bet that Princess Luna would vouch for me. As you well know, she's the head of that secret branch of the Royal Army." She gives him a small, strained smile, clearly wishing she could chew him out. "How much else do I need to say to prove I belong?"

To Ruby's credit, the guard actually moves his head back a bit from her. "Alright, considering who you came with and what you know, you may enter. However, the same cannot be said for the other filly and the fox. I doubt they are members of the team as well."

'You care to bet your rank on that, bub?'

"You'd be surprised," Winter deadpans. "Mercury is the second-in-command of Tactics team, thus is eligible for entry. And Ash is a... recent addition."

The guard's skepticism is clear in his voice. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. Check the records of Tactics team members, if Princess Luna will give you access. I'm sure you will find Mercury in there, though I admit Ash is unlikely to be added just yet." He smirks. "Or just bring the princess herself out to confirm, if you'd like a bit of royal audience to this incident. I'm sure your distrust of a guard captain will earn you many brownie points with her."

Letting out a sigh, the guards look to each other before they speak to them again. "Well... seeing as the rest of you check out, it should be fine. Go on in."

The cobalt unicorn nods before gesturing for the others to go in ahead of him. As they pass, the guards keep an eye on them, some more than others. Winter, the last to go in, takes a moment before doing so, getting one last line in with the guards. "I wouldn't suggest eyeing that burgundy pegasus. That's a guy."

Eyes shrink to pinpricks as the two face forward once more, perhaps even stiffer in their stances than they were before. Winter chuckles, following his friends in.

'Shouldn't they be at attention, anyways?'

"Canterlot guards are in major abundance at events like this," Winter explains. "They think slacking off a little is okay. Normally you wouldn't see a wandering eye if they were assigned to guard the inside of a brothel."

Ash taps his cheek, her eyes inquisitive. "What's a brothel?"

"...I'll tell you when you're older."

The filly looks at him, confused, but nods. “Okay…” She drops down off his back, hugging his leg briefly. “Can I go chat with Ruby, for a bit?”

“Of course.” He smiles. “We have a bit of time before the ball. Just don’t go too far, okay? I don’t want to lose you in the crowd once things get going.”

“I won’t. I promise!” She beams up at him, giving him one last squeeze before dashing over to the young mare, bouncing along with her as they walk.

He chuckles. “Adorable.” He glances up at the fox still on his back. “Any friends you want to go hang out with too?”

‘None that can understand what I’m saying.’

Before anything else can be said, the cobalt unicorn feels a soft warmth against his side. “I see you’ve become more comfortable with your daughter, Solstice.”

Blinking, the unicorn turns to the navy nymph and sighs. “Still not comfortable with that terminology, though. I’d rather just be her caretaker. I doubt I’d be good as a dad.”

“Yeah, mom said you were like that.” She smirks at him, tapping his forehead. “You’ve got to fix that bad habit of yours. You love her like a daughter, and she loves you like a father. Simple as that.”

“Besides,” the other nymph interjects, pressing up against his other side, smiling warmly, “think of this experience as practice for when you and Applejack have a biological child.”

He blushes and groans. “Seriously? You tease me nonstop about getting around to asking her out, and as soon as I decide I’m going to, you move right on to babies?”

Both of the changelings stare at him, dumbfounded, and Gel speaks up. “...you’re planning on asking her out?”

“...yeah.” He sighs. “I made an agreement with Mercury to at least try tonight and stop putting it off.”

“Well,” Dior giggles, wrapping a foreleg around him, “I’m glad you finally decided to make a move. If you weren’t going to, then…” She trails off, unsure if she should finish that thought.

“Then what?” he asks, almost challenging.

“...then I would’ve had to take drastic measures.”

He smirks. “Liiiiiiiiiiiike?”

“Pretending to be you and asking her out in your stead.” She raises an eyebrow, tapping his cheek. “I doubt you’d want that, would you?”

“You’re right on that, but I also doubt you would want to be seen in my body.” He continues smirking. “And I suggest you be careful about impersonating an officer.”

“Oh? What if I were to pretend to be her and ask you out?” She leans in, grinning widely, her fangs glinting in the light of the moon. “I know for a fact she wouldn’t mind.”

The unicorn raises an eyebrow. “Hydro would. I’d rather not get beaten up by jealous husbands again.” He raises a hoof. “Don’t ask.”

Gel closes her mouth, groaning softly. “Darn… I had a feeling that’d be a good story…”

“It really isn’t.” He shakes his head, looking for another topic of conversation. “So… you two look nice.”

“So do you.” Dior giggles, flicking his flank with a tail teasingly. “Applejack’s a lucky mare.”

He shrugs. “I’d think I’m the lucky one. Well, if she says yes I would be.”

“Then you’ll both be lucky.” She winks, then turns to the moon, visible through the windows they pass. “...you know, every time I see that, I think of that time a couple years back…”

“Time?” He tilts his head.

“Mom means when Nightmare Moon showed up.”

“Oh.” Winter nods. “I understand… but we need to move on from that. Like you said, it was a couple years ago, and I doubt any of the princesses want us to look up at the moon and think of a great evil. We need to move on.”

“It’s not like I can help it.” She turns back to him, a wry smile on her lips. “It’s like you and your negativity.”

“If others can get on my case about that, I can get on yours about your thing.”

“Then you’re giving me free reign to harp on you about the issues you have? Like, say,” she leans close, whispering in his ear, “the time I saw you ogle Applejack while she was getting fitted, and denying it when I asked?”

He blushes, ears folding down. “...in my defense, I didn’t want to be there anyway because I knew that would happen...”

“Hey, she was the one who asked you to join us.” She smirks, shaking her head. “And, if I’m not mistaken, the one who asked you to stay in the room when you tried to leave.”

“Still.” He sighs, scuffing the floor a bit.

“You might as well stop, mom.” Gel sighs, shaking her head. “He’s never going to get it until he finds out by himself…”

The unicorn blinks. “Finds what out?”

She taps him on the nose, winking playfully. “It’s a secret!~”

“...I hate secrets.” He taps her nose back. “Haven’t I always been open and honest with you?”

“I don’t know.” She gives him a flat stare, an eyebrow raised. “Did you look at my daughter’s flanks, earlier?”

“She was walking directly in front of me and it’s hard to walk properly while staring off to the side,” he replies simply. “Obviously I looked at them. Stared at, ogled, or admired, no.”

“Have you stared at, ogled, or admired Applejack’s figure?”

“...pretty sure that one’s obvious.”

Dior smirks, rolling her eyes playfully. “About as obvious as that growing bulge of yours, yes. You should be glad we’re hiding it for you.”

He blushes again. “...I’d say thanks, but it’s kind of your fault it grew in the first place...”

‘Isn’t it technically your mind that’s at fault for it?’

“Stay out of this, Merc.”

‘Fine, horny.’

Winter rolls his eyes. “So what are you two planning on doing during the ball? Socializing, just hanging out with your loved ones, ditching it as soon as possible?”

“Can’t I do all three?” Dior smirks, her tail swishing eagerly behind her.

“I was thinking about taking a few pictures.” Gel holds up a camera. “I had a good one from the party, and I wanted to see if I could get a sequel of sorts to it.”

“Both good plans.” Winter chuckles.

“Yep!” She holds up a picture before them in her magic, grinning widely. “Would you like a copy of that first one?”

He blinks before looking at it, then blushes majorly. “...er… how did you get that?”

“I took a picture. Duh.” She sticks her tongue out at him.

“I meant… never mind.” He sighs. “...sure.” It floats closer, tucking into the breast pocket of his uniform. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She elbows his side, winking at him. “Don’t have too much fun with that, you hear?”

His face goes redder as he lowers his head a bit. “R-Right...”

“...were you really going to do that?”

He raises an eyebrow before smirking. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“That’s a yes.”

“...no.”

---

“So that’s why-” Ruby yelps as she feels someone jump on her back, turning back to see Ash’s smiling face. “Oh, hi. Next time, could you warn me?”

“Aww…” She pouts, resting her head on the larger pony’s back. “But that’s no fun.”

Volt chuckles at this. “Shame on you, Ruby. Ruining a little filly’s fun…”

“I just don’t want her fun to break me.” She frowns softly at him. “You know about my bones…”

Ash blinks, her expression going blank. “...your bones?”

Grumbling for a moment, Volt averts his eyes sheepishly before turning to the filly. “Well, uh, Ruby here has more fragile bones than most. It doesn’t really affect her most of the time, but when stuff does happen it could be dangerous if she isn’t properly bracing herself.”

“...oh.” She grimaces slightly. “...sorry, Miss Ruby.”

“It’s fine, just… be careful, in the future.” The pink unicorn glances to the stallion before continuing. “So… would you like to join our conversation?”

“Yes, please!” She leaps over to Volt’s back, settling herself down there with a happy smile.

Chuckling, the stallion looks back at her. “Careful. If I’m the designated sitting area now, you should know you risk static shocks.”

Ash sticks her tongue out at him. “I’m used to electric bolts.” Ignoring the stare Ruby gives her, she taps the back of his neck. “I like your mane… though it’s kinda pokey.”

“Yeah it is, and completely natural too.” He smiles at her. “Would you believe I used to have soft wavy locks before I first got shocked?”

She lays along his back, sighing softly. “Would you be mad if I said no, Mister Surge?”

“No, it’s pretty crazy to think about,” he admits.

“I suppose…” She brushes her hoof over his shoulder, thoughtful. “...did you look different in any other way, back then?”

“Well… I didn’t have my cutie mark.” He shakes his flanks a bit.

Ash grips him a bit tighter, trying not to fall off. Once she’s sure she won’t look her place, she resumes the conversation. “So… you got your cutie mark at the same time as being shocked?”

“Yep, nothing like getting electrocuted, scaring your parents, getting a cutie mark, and walking away from it with a new manestyle.” He chuckles. “I wonder if you’ll get one…”

“I… honestly have no idea.” She tilts her head to one side, thoughtful. “I never saw a mamodo with one… though most of my class was about my age, too…”

“Hmm… guess we’ll see, won’t we?” He smiles at her. “Maybe spending time here will get you enough Equestrian magic in you to get one.”

The filly seems to brighten up at this, a soft smile on her face. “You really think so?”

“Sure! You think so too, right Ruby?” He looks to the pink filly. “Maybe Ash will get a pink flaming heart or something.”

“Maybe. Then again…” The young unicorn glances to the stallion pinned between the changelings. “She might get one with ice in it…”

“Hmm… maybe she’ll be good at elemental magic and have both fire and ice.” He looks back at her. “What do you think? Want to be a hot and cold wizard?”

Ash stares at him, her muzzle scrunched in confusion. “...but... I can’t use spells unless someone else reads it from my book…”

He shrugs. “You never know. Maybe you just haven't tried using Equestrian magic yet.”

“I don’t know if I’d even be able to.” She taps the side of her head, right in front of her ear. “My horns aren’t anything like yours.”

Ruby stops moving, staring blankly ahead at them. “...horns? As in plural?”

Ash looks back, nodding. “Yes. I have two of them.”

“Didn’t you notice?” Volt raises an eyebrow at the pink mare.

“...no…” She rushes forward, trying to catch up to them. “...they’re so well hidden by her mane… I couldn’t see any sign of them…”

Volt nods. “I think they look good on her. Right now they’re small and cute, but they’ll probably be very stylish when she’s older... like fezzes.”

The filly bops the back of his neck. “Yeah right. They’re more like curled horns… not spiral, though.”

“My horn’s curled, you don’t see me complaining.” He taps his horn, which unlike most, curls backwards towards him a bit.

“Yes, but it doesn’t curl back over your head.” She sighs, shaking her head. “...that’s how it looked with Mercury’s mother, anyways…”

“Wait… what? His mother had them? Shouldn’t it be your mother?” The stallion looks confused as he looks back at her, narrowly avoiding walking into a pillar.

“No, he’s a mamodo, so his mother is, too.” She shrugs slightly. “She’s the only adult mamodo that I know of.”

“Huh… I guess I really can’t comment on extra dimensional genetics.” He turns forward just in time to run into a large decorative plant. He quickly backs, up as he sticks out his tongue, spitting out bits of the fake greens. “Bleh… right in the nose…”

“You really should pay better attention, Mister Surge.” Ash giggles, patting him on the head gently.

He laughs. “I’ll give it a try if you look out for the things that’ll try to get me from behind when I do. Deal?”

“Deal!”

---

"So tell me, Hyde..." The disk jockey pulls her shades down slightly, eyeing the hexagon hanging from his neck. "...why, exactly, did you decide to wear that?"

He looks down. “Habit, mostly. Hell, maybe I’ll just make it my fashion statement likes your shades.”

"Dude, my shades look cool." She reaches over, smacking the edge with her hoof. "This just looks tacky."

“Tacky?” He straightens up a bit. “I like to think it looks like a lugnut, plus my favorite pink niece made it for me.”

"Wait, what?" She gestures toward the filly in question. "So you just think that it's like... some kind of good luck charm from her?" The alabaster unicorn shakes her head, smirking slyly. "Well, E made me one, too. Difference is..." She nods towards the weapon holster on her back. "Mine is fully functional."

“Really? Like mine isn’t?” He grins as he adjusts his thoughts a bit, the necklace shimmering before a flexible metallic limb snakes out from under his dress jacket and waggles itself at her. “Did you forget my little friends already?”

"Nope." A hoof lashes out, grabbing one of the limbs and bringing it close. "I just wanted a better look at these beauties." She examines it carefully, her touch surprisingly delicate, considering what she just did.

Hydro stares at her while the mechanical limb tilts itself at her like a curious snake. "I didn't think you were that interested... you've never said anything before." The mouth or claw, depending on how you think of it, opens and closes once before spinning for Vinyl.

She gives off a childlike squeal of delight, hugging the extra limb. "This is so amazing!" She pauses, turning to look up at the stallion. "...were you saying something?"

He chuckles. "I said I didn't know you were so interested. If it's just moving stuff, I make things like this all the time." The arm wriggles against her coat.

"Really?" She runs her hoof along the surface, an eyebrow raised. "All with this level of complexity, smooth motions, and sleek design?"

"Well... sort of, on all three," he admits, rubbing the back of his head. "I mostly use mine when I have a need for them, so I invent them for a purpose. Complexity comes with just how into it I get. The motions are fairly smooth, but it'd be kind of impractical to spend all the time to make them as flexible as these things considering how much stuff I have. Design I can always sleek over with a nice chrome chasse though, so more of a yes to that." He huffs. "I'll get there, but it's a project."

"I see..." She slowly lets the limb slip out of her grip, watching it for a bit longer. "You know, we could always see if Ruby would be willing to work on that kind of stuff with us... maybe Winter, too, since he made those daggers of his..." She blinks, confusion clouding her expression. "...damn, that was some tangent I went on, there."

"Oh? Have a project in mind? Though, I don't think Ruby made these specifically to do this... she said they change with the pony they're bonded to." He shrugs. "Maybe we should ask anyway..."

"Good idea." She grins, bumping his side with her flank. "Maybe I can get one of those for myself, eh?"

He hums. "I don't know if you really need one considering everything else you're armed with." He laughs as a thought comes to him. "It'd probably do something strange like give you laser shades or something."

"What? That's awesome!" She laughs brightly, shaking her head. "I'd love the chance to be even more epic!" She smirks, pulling out her blade and bringing it in front of his face. "You could stand to have more weapons, too. Like that katana I offered to make you just last month."

His robotic arm looks at the blade just as he does. "I don't really think I can... as an earth pony I really only have my mouth to hold stuff unless I want to go on three legs... unless I'm using these things, but then I'm probably already fighting anyway." About a moment, he continues. "Plus, I'd prefer a hammer."

"That's the thing." The unicorn grins, smacking his shoulder playfully with a hoof. "Between the four of us, I bet we can find a way around that issue!"

"Alright, alright, you convinced me." He smiles as he lightly shoves her back. "This little project sounds fun. Rhino will trust me with Ruby, Winter has nopony to ask, E will probably agree... I just need to make sure Dior knows and we're all set."

She smirks at him, bumping his side in return, nearly pushing him into a column on accident. "What, are you afraid of getting another of Dior's punishments?"

He looks up. "Well... not so much the punishment, as the little things she does during it and the fiery words of worry and regret that she wasn't there... heh, I swear she's more of a firebrand than Gel."

Vinyl stares blankly at him, unsure how to respond. "...I didn't realize you loved being bound to your bed that much."

He frowns a bit. "Eh, that part I'm not crazy about."

"Well, you sure seemed excited at the time." She sticks her tongue out at him, then pushes him away, making him narrowly avoid a potted plant that he was about to walk into.

He nods in thanks. "It's more of the other things she does. Suffice to say she's made a trip or two to Silk's place to shop."

"Like that one black, lacy outfit?"

"...I was thinking more the nurse one, but how did you know about that other one?" He raises an eyebrow at her.

She blushes brightly, avoiding eye contact. "I, uh... installed security systems in... Ponyville..."

"...security systems, huh?" He keeps the eyebrow raised. "Inside homes? Without permission?"

The unicorn holds up her hoof. "To be fair, your wife gave me permission. Though she does always ask for copies..."

He sighs, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "And there's another kink of hers I've now discovered..." Still, he opens one eye and grins at her. "Like what you've seen?"

"Not all of it... some of it just seemed weird." She scrunches up her nose. "I mean, she's older than you, but wants to play a school filly? I mean, it's cute, but... not very sexy, to me."

He nudges her with a hoof. "Hey, her age is what she wants it to be, especially with the body she has. Honestly, I don't even keep track, since if you try and think of how the families connect involving her it gets just as complicated. She's my sexy wife, we have two foals, and she just happens to be my best friend's wife's mother. Simple."

She smirks at him, tapping his side just above the metal around his body. "Still makes you a grandpa, you know."

"Uncle."

"Uncle Grandpa." The disk jockey shrugs her shoulders. "Regardless, you're still family to them."

He nods, smiling as he looks ahead. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

---

Finally, two stallions not too far from the rest of the group find themselves significantly quieter than the others. As they walk and wait, very few of their attempts at conversation pan out properly.

"So, uh... Ruby is doing well in her classes..." Enigma gives the taller stallion a sheepish smile, shrinking down slightly in embarrassment.

Rhino nods as they walk. "Yep. Her mother and I always told her how important school was and we make sure to tell her how proud we are."

"Yeah..." He taps his chin, thoughtful. "She does seem a little distracted, lately, but nothing that affects her schoolwork..."

The father looks to him. "Oh? Distracted how?"

"Well, there's this pony that sits in the front row, right in front of her..." He trails off, realizing what this means. "...you know what, it's probably just my imagination."

Rhino narrows his eyes. "Enigma... do I have a colt that has caught Ruby's eye to worry about?"

The burgundy pegasus glances around, nearly stumbling over his own hooves. "No... no, you don't."

"Enigma..."

"Hey, I'm being honest." He points at him, eyes narrowed. "Ruby doesn't have her eye on a colt."

After a moment, Rhino replies. "...mare?"

"...uh... hey, we're here!"

The distraction attempt from the pegasus turns out fruitful; sure enough, they enter through one more archway and find themselves in the main part of the castle where the ball is taking place. The arrival of such a diverse-looking large group prompts many curious looks, but few linger for more than a second or two before returning to their previous activities.

Out of nowhere, the unicorn and pegasus suddenly feel hooves clapping them on the shoulders as a dark orange face pops up between them. "Well, look who came to join us! Friends of the Cap?"

Rhino moves his head away from the sudden intruder. "Umm... that depends on his name."

Chuckling, the face and hoof step forward and turn to face them, revealing the orange body and short red mane and tail of a pegasus stallion in a familiar military uniform. "Cap Sol, from Ponyville?"

"Yes, we're friends of his." Enigma pauses, tapping his chin in thought. "We don't work directly with him, per se... but I like to think we're at least good friends."

"Swell!" He salutes far too exaggeratedly. "Knew it wasn't coinky-dink you all walked in at once. So what's your names?"

The burgundy pegasus gives him an uncertain look, carefully reading his body language. "...my name is Enigma... friends sometimes call me E..."

The green stallion tilts his head slightly, but straightens up after a moment as he smiles. "I'm Rhino. Who might you be?"

The pony salutes again, this time specifically at Rhino. "Bagel Bite, Cap Sol's thirty-seventh most trusted guard!" He pauses and frowns. "Fifty-ninth if you count ones from other cities."

The smallest of the three blinks, confused by this. "...Bagel Bite? That's... an interesting name for a guard."

"What, and Winter Solstice isn't?" Bagel laughs a bit, brightening back up. "But don't worry about that. It's a long story, cutie."

He gives him a flat look, his fur bristling slightly. "...'cutie'?"

The other pegasus tilts his head. "Do you prefer 'sweetie'?"

"Oh dear..." Rhino clears his throat as he gets E's attention. "Shall I tell him before you do so in your way?"

He grits his teeth, his wings twitching in agitation. "Please do, before I cause a scene..."

The unicorn looks at the guard in front of them, trying to word this delicately. "You don't happen to be mistaking my friend here for a mare, are you? He doesn't appreciate that."

Bagel tilts his head the other way. "No, I know."

"Ah... ball’s in your court, E," Rhino says quickly. Enigma just falls flat on his face, stunned by this revelation.

The orange pegasus looks down at him. "Are you alright?" The response he gets is a garbled mess of noises instead of words. "...should I go get help?" he asks again, his demeanour not once slipping into anything that sounds even slightly worried.

"He'll be fine. I think he's more shocked than anything." The green stallion shrugs, but still keeps an eye on his downed companion. "Good job knowing what he was, though. Most don't."

Bagel shrugs. "Don't know why. He-"

"Bite!" a harsh female voice interrupts. He calmly looks over his shoulder to see a purple earth mare stomping up behind him, wearing yet another Ponyville military uniform. She looks to Rhino and the floored pegasus. "Is he bothering you?"

He shakes his head. "I'd call this conversation 'refreshing' so far."

"You sure?" The mare raises an eyebrow. "I can drag him away if you want."

"Well..." He looks down to his fallen friend. "Give it a minute. If this one doesn't get up, maybe back off until he does."

The mare sighs. "I really don't know if I want to know how this happened."

"No, it's fine." The smaller pegasus slowly gets back up, shaking his head. "Just... never heard someone call me 'cutie' while knowing I'm a stallion."

"That's weird," Bagel remarks.

The mare glares at him before looking back to the other two. "So is everything stable here?"

Rhino nods. "I think so. Thank you, Miss..."

"Lieutenant Combat Boots." She salutes calmly.

He frowns a bit. "I'm still a bit put off when ponies salute me..."

"Apologies." She lowers her hoof. "May I learn your names as well?"

"He's Rhino of the Nexus clan, and I'm Professor Enigmatic Harvest." He gestures to them, an eyebrow raised. "How, uh... how'd you know I wasn't a mare, though?"

Bagel shrugs. "It seemed obvious to me."

"He's just... analytical," Boots says after a pause. "Among other things."

"So am I." He reaches back towards a bag with a hoof, smirking. "You want to see how much?"

Both guards tilt their heads simultaneously. Boots is the one to speak up. "What do you mean?"

He pulls out a black, metallic ball, grinning widely. "I can bounce this around the room, having it play a little tune by ricochets, not hit anyone, and catch it in my teeth, when all is said and done."

"...impressive," the mare says, looking a little surprised. "I'd ask for a demonstration, but... maybe wait until later, so no one gets scared."

"It actually doesn't have to be in here." He puts it in his shirt pocket, smiling warmly. "Anywhere that's large enough will do."

Bagel takes a step forward, smiling. "I'd like to come with you to see it." Boots just sighs and drags him back by the tail.

"Thanks, but..." Enigma trails off, looking around in sudden realization. "...hey, Rhino, where did everyone else go?"

Blinking, his friend looks around. "Umm... oh, there a few of them are." He points. "They must have started mingling without us. Though... I don't see the foals yet..."

"Maybe they're somewhere else?" The pegasus turns to the guards. "So... have you seen any young ponies around?"

"I believe they were admitted in just recently," Boots responds with a nod. "If your children are amongst them, you are free to go find them, but do not feel the need to. Even if you did not ask one of your friends to take care of them, we have some guards on duty to watch any ponies under twelve years old."

Bagel raises a hoof with a smile. "I'm one of them!"

Rhino looks at him with a neutral face. "Then... why are you here?"

"Because my turn starts in an hour and I wanted to make friends." He keeps his smile.

"Oh... well, that's okay then. Sorry for assuming." Rhino smiles once more. "Thanks for looking after the little ones... they mean the world to me."

Bagel salutes once more. "Of course!"

The pegasus, having no children, changes the topic slightly. "So, you both know Winter, right? May I ask how, or is it strictly professional?"

"The captain and I have known one another since training," Boots replies. "We rarely worked together, though, at least until I was assigned to the same division as him."

Bagel shrugs. "I'm just a guard."

"Did you know he has a filly now?" He grins wolfishly. "And a marefriend, too, if I'm not mistaken."

Boots widens her eyes. "Really now?"

Rhino nods. "Strangely enough, the filly came before the mare."

"Isn't that bad?" Bagel asks.

Enigma shrugs. "It was an adoption."

"Oh. That makes more sense."

Boots sighs. "Adoption or not, I don't know if it's a good idea..."

"Hmm?" Rhino raises an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well... I don't know if you've known him as long as me, or longer, but..." She rubs the back of her neck, her professional personality starting to dissipate. "...does he really seem like the fatherly type? At most, I could see him as a big brother, but..."

"Oh, definitely. He has it in him." The burgundy pegasus glances at the stallion in question. "He just doesn't realize it, yet."

Boots raises an eyebrow. "If you're sure..."

Bagel, meanwhile, looks Enigma over with that same smile. "You seem like the fatherly type too."

"Yes, I am." He holds a hoof to his chest. "At least, I like to think so. Rhino has a lot more experience than I do."

He doesn't even look over to the green unicorn, instead just smiling wider. "Wow..."

Enigma takes a step back from the other pegasus, a slightly strained smile on his face. "Yeah... I look forward to raising foals, though... ones that I father. Myself. With the mares I love."

Bagel blinks before his ears fold down. "...oh."

Other sets of ears hear the feminine stallion's statement, two owners of such pairs of ears drawing themselves up on either side of him.

The pink pegasus and golden earth pony wear matching smiles, though the earth mare's seems to have a bit more intensity behind it.

"E..." Cotton begins.

"You didn't tell us you were so interested in becoming a father..." Honey continues.

Rhino laughs. "Well, might want to start thinking of names, Enigma."

Bagel looks between the three of them with a neutral expression again, with a bit of disappointment in his eyes. "Oh..."

"...I apologize for this, Bite." Enigma sighs, rubbing the back of his neck as he takes a few steps closer. "If it makes you feel any better, I would've given it a shot... if, you know, I wasn't already with someone." He turns his attention to the mares behind him. "And yes, I'm interested in being a father. I think we should at least be married first, though, don't you?"

Honey's tail wags. "All that takes is signing a bit of paper."

Cotton's matches its tempo as she gazes at him. "Pegasi weddings are the shortest."

Bagel sighs, stepping back. "I understand..." Boots gives him a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"I reali- wait, really?" He looks to her, confused. "I kinda want a traditional wedding... well, as traditional as one for a herd can be, anyways." He turns to the downtrodden stallion, holding a hoof out to him. "We, uh... we can still be friends though, right? Vinyl says I need to work on that, after all, and you seem nice enough."

He nods, taking and shaking the hoof, managing a small smile. "Thanks."

"Who knows?" A voice says from behind him. "There may end up being room for one more in our little herd." Both Bagel and Boots turn to face the voice, confused. A familiar alabaster mare smiles back at them, pushing her shades up slightly. "Love is better the more you share it." She turns to the emerald stallion, grinning widely. "Don't you agree?"

Rhino takes a step back to allow more room for the newcomers to the conversation, but nods and smiles as he chuckles. "It'd be a little odd if I didn't, considering I married a changeling. Pretty good proof of love right there."

Boots sighs. "I'm gonna leave the mushy stuff to you guys. Bite, make sure to get to your job on time." With a final salute, she heads off.

"...I think she needs to get laid." Vinyl chuckles, shaking her head. "Seriously, she seems way too uptight. Now," she turns to the largest pegasus there, "you're obviously interested in E. Would you ever consider being in a herd?" She holds up a hoof. "For curiosity's sake."

Bagel pauses. "...maybe? It might be weird..."

"Trust me, it really isn't." She turns to the other mares, smiling warmly. "As long as you give everyone the same amount of attention."

Cotton tilts her head. "But... I don't think he's into us... mares."

"Yeah..." Bagel sighs. "I mean, I could probably give. I just don't know if I'd like to receive... if that makes sense."

Vinyl gives him a flat stare. "Receive from mares, I take it? I'm certain that's what you mean..." She rolls her hoof. "But perhaps you can be a bit more clear?"

He nods and goes for the clearest explanation he can think of. "I'll pleasure girls, but unless I warm up to them, I don't want them to suck me off or ask me to stick it in them."

"So you'll get mares off, but won't seek pleasure from them." She nods, closing her eyes as she thinks. "...would it count if Honey used her toy on you?"

He grins a bit, already knowing what sort of 'toy' she could be referring to. "I'm perfectly fine with that."

"Great!" She grins, pulling him into a half-embrace. "Welcome to the herd. We'll have to get everyone to agree if you'll stay, but it's a start, nonetheless." She smirks, poking his chest. "Just so you know, though, E prefers being on top." The blush already on the stallion's cheeks - from the two mares teasing him - grows a shade brighter.

Bagel smiles and gives a small chuckle, nodding. "Alright... wow, this is going by fast."

Vinyl laughs brightly, letting go of him. "It's how I roll."

Cotton nods. "She's a very decisive alpha."

Bagel salutes to them all. "I hope to bring pleasure to us all in some way."

Enigma taps his chin, thoughtful. "Well, knowing Honey... you'll be doing it in multiple ways..."

Honey looks him over. "Hmm... you might have promise..."

"Most li-" There's a strong breeze, and a moment taken to fix her hairstyle, before she says her next thought. "...where did E and Cotton go?"

"You were talking about certain subjects... and you know how impulsive he is." Honey sighs.

Bagel sighs, looking down at the floor. "Damn... just us now, then?" He looks over at a certain green unicorn who had been standing aside for a while now. "...oh. Uh... hey."

"Hey..." Rhino rubs the back of his head. "Mind if I uh... go? Or do you want me to stick around?"

Bagel chuckles sheepishly. "You can go if you want. I imagine this is kind of awkward."

"Yeah... but it makes me yearn for my own family." He smiles and nods at them all before walking off.

"...so, that not wanting to let mares pleasure you... there's a chance we can work past that, right?"

He thinks before shrugging. "We can see how it works... I've never tried it."

"We can go try it out, now..." She takes him by the hoof, grinning widely. "...we do have a room in the castle..."

He blinks. "...will it take longer than forty-five minutes?"

"No, it shouldn't." She shrugs. "We could always get E to rush you over, if we cut it close."

He smiles, only faltering a bit when his eyes go to the floor for a second. "Works for me."

"Well... I don't want to be left alone." Honey walks up to both of them. "Come on, let's go."

Comments

[Atomic Vortex]

I still feel by the end of this night there will be a character death...

[Raybony]

V, I think you are making this kind of decisions too quickly. You just had two mares join you and E in a herd, and now a stallion? Maybe you should let E be alpha for a while.
So I take it that in this version of Equestria, it isn't as easy to hold stuff with their hooves. Does that make me better or worse if I exist there?