Lightning Rod

by SlimShadow

Issue 01

LIGHTNING ROD

ISSUE #01

My name is Rodney Kasparov, but you can call me Rod. I’m twenty-six years old, six-foot-two, 210 pounds, moderately built. I live in Chicago, work nine-to-five as a call receptionist for an insurance company called Prompterra. My hair is a shoulder-length blond. I comb it so it’s separated at the middle. The boss doesn’t mind the hair. As long as I keep it tame is fine with him. My last name comes from Russia, where my great-great-grandfather and his family fled during the Soviet revolution. And here I am, a third generation American, trying to live the dream that my parents before have wanted. As for my direct parents, they live in Chicago on the other side of town. They love each other, unless when it comes the time when the Cubs face the White Sox. My mom is a Cubs fan, and my dad roots for the White Sox. When they face other teams, it’s all relaxed; but when it comes to Cubs versus Sox, that’s when they start to show their ugly side. I never chose which team was my favorite. As long as a Chicago team was doing well, I was happy.

So you want to hear about my story: Well, it all started during a thunderstorm when I was driving to my friend Carl’s place for a jam session. Oh yeah, I’m in a rock band called Neon Unicorn. I’m the bassist, Carl’s the lead singer and rhythm guitarist, Joey’s the drummer with the mad skills, and Steph sings some songs, and she also plays a wicked guitar. We usually play in bars, but there are not many people who come out. I’m just going on, so I will continue. I arrived at Carl’s place in the suburbs and I honked the horn to let him know I was there, and for him to open the garage door. We usually practice in the garage, so that his “better half” was happy. The garage door opened and I got out of my car. I was dressed with a Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt, blue jeans, and black work boots, my favorite style for a night with my friends.

“Hey, Rod! Get in here before you get all wet.” Carl was calling to me.

“Just gotta grab my bass and lock up my car.”

My car isn’t very great. It was an old red sub-compact that had a max speed of sixty miles an hour, and it doesn’t handle my amp much, so I had to keep it over at Carl’s until I can afford a better car.

I locked up the car, grabbed my bass from the hatch-back, and I ran towards the open garage door. While I was in the middle of the driveway, I got shocked by a lightning bolt.

But I didn’t die. I strangely felt like I woke up. I didn’t know where I was, but I got a huge headache. Everything was all blurry. The first thing I heard was a female voice.

“He’s waking up, Spike. Are the pancakes ready?”

Then I heard another voice that sounded like a boy.

“Yeah, Twilight. Just gotta get the syrup and butter and they’ll be all set.”

Then she spoke to me with a concerned tone, “Sir, Can you hear me?”

“Yeah.” I still felt like I woke up after a crazy night. At least the smell of pancakes was a welcome scent.

“Just hold on a sec. I’m gonna make sure the pancakes are coming alright.”

I got up slowly as I found myself lying on a couch in a room full of books. The floor had rings like a tree, as well as the ceiling. It looked like the place was built inside a hollowed out tree.

I still heard her calling out from the kitchen, “Do you like pancakes?”

“Who doesn’t?” I responded.

“Good,” she laughed, “I know that it isn’t technically the time for breakfast, since it is evening, but I heard of hospitals that feed comatose patients pancakes as soon as they wake up. They feel happier when they smell a piece of home.”

“Wow. Was I in a coma, Miss… Twilight?”

“Nope,” The girl answered. “You just appeared out of nowhere and you were asleep for an hour. You know my name?”

“I have good ears. I can pick up on things normal ears have trouble with.”

“Well that’s good.” The girl came out of the kitchen, and it turned out that she wasn’t a girl, she was a pony: a purple unicorn with a nicely trimmed mane and what seems to be a tattoo of stars on her backside. When I saw her, my mind was thinking “Holy crap” over and over.

I jumped with my feet on the couch and yelled out, “This isn’t real. I’m not in a house made out of a tree with a unicorn that talks, and cooks pancakes, and… holds intellectual conversations with me. It’s impossible.”

Twilight looked at me funny, and gave out an “’Ey?”

When I saw that sound come out of her mouth, I gave off a heavy twitch. The next thing I saw was a purple and green dragon carrying the pancakes into the room.

He spoke in that familiar boy’s voice, “Maybe he’s the one Princess Celestia wrote to you about. The one from a strange world, your first student, that would bring the Element of Magic to his realm.”

My mind went blank, and my frozenness was evidence of it.

“Not helping, Spike.” Twilight reprimanded, then turned back to me. “This is Spike, my number one assistant.”

All I can manage was a small wave.

“I know this is too fast for you to process, but how about some pancakes to digest everything. Okay?” She smiled once she stopped talking, and then turned to her dragon assistant, “I’ll take them from here.”

Then I noticed a dark field carrying the tray of pancakes. Somehow, I felt it coming from the girl’s horn. She floated the tray and gently landed it on the coffee table near the couch. My head was throbbing because I felt her power. I rubbed my head and felt something very wrong. I had a horn protruding from my head. I just panicked. I hopped off the couch and maniacally tried to pull it off my head.

“Sir?” the pony tried to interrupt.

Twilight and Spike just stared at me, rightfully, like I was a lunatic.

“Sir?” Again, it was in vain.

After a few minutes of struggling, I gave up and laid myself on the couch.

“I’m so sorry for you, stranger. Come on, Spike. Let’s give him some breathing room so he can eat.”

They walked into the stairway, and I was left alone, with pancakes, orange juice, and maple syrup to keep me company, so I dug in once I regained my wits. I can’t help but think of the stuff that dragon said, about princess, student, element of magic, nothing was making sense to me. But hey, these pancakes are sure nice. After I was done, I laid myself on the couch to digest everything, both my thoughts and my food. While I was lying there, I saw the fork on the coffee table that I used to eat the pancakes with. I thought if I had a horn now, I can do the same stuff that Twilight did with her horn. So I concentrated on the fork, and I focused to raise it up from the table. My headache intensified once I focused energy to my horn. I managed to then focus it towards the fork, and after a few seconds, I saw a yellow field around the fork, and I managed to lift it up one inch until my head can’t take anymore. The fork dropped and I was cringing. I figured I should rest until this headache is all done and over with.

I woke up in an almost dark environment, headache gone, all relaxed and reinvigorated. I was still in the library for a tree. I looked around the dim-lighted room, then I found a note on the coffee table where the plate was. I used the moonlight from the nearest window to read the note. It read, “Make yourself at home. ~Twilight Sparkle.” I was no longer frightened, but curious. Who was the Princess? Why did the dragon call me a student? And what’s this element of magic? I had no choice but to sneak into Twilight’s room. My search wasn’t very long, since the place was relatively smaller than the libraries I’m used to in Chicago. I found Twilight and Spike sleeping in the bedroom. The moon lit up the study desk with scrolls sitting on it. One was spread out on the table. It read:

Dear Princess Celestia:

It seems my student is adjusting not so well to his new environment. He was quite frightened of me at first, and his new horn, much so that he wanted to rip it off from his forehead, but he managed to eat a plate full of pancakes before he fell to sleep again. He deserved the rest. If I was a pony in his world, I would probably do the same thing he would. Actually, I don’t know how to react. Everything has been a total shock to him. I’ll give him time to adjust soon so I can teach him effectively.

Your faithful studemt,

Twilight Sparkle

I looked and I found another scroll letter near the edge of the desk with a red wax seal and ribbon around it. The stamp looked like a shining sun, so I figured it was from the Princess.

My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle:

I am writing this letter to inform you about a duty that you will have to carry out. I am assigning you to the royal task of teaching a strange being from another world about magic. In his world, true magic doesn’t exist. It only exists in his world as smoke and mirrors and all manners of illusion. His mission is to bring one of the six Elements of Harmony, being Magic, into his world. He will not have a horn before he gets here, He will grow one once he is here, though. He may not adjust well to the horn, or the new surroundings of Equestria, so make sure you make him feel as comfortable as you can. His world also does not have knowledge of Equestria, so try to slowly integrate him to Equestrian society. Your task, in detail, is to; First: teach him the basics of magic, such as simple kinetic spells, light spells, and so on. Second: find his specialty. The colour of his aura will give you a hint on what he specializes in. For this, I will refer you to “Auras: A Reference Guide to Unlocking a Unicorn’s Potential.” And Third: Teach him that friendship is the greatest magic there is. I’m putting my faith and trust in you, Twilight. I know you can do it.

Princess Celestia

I was blown away by that letter. The thing that I thought of first was that I was now a superhero. At first, I felt it was neat, but at the same time, I felt the pressure of this task. It always goes back to that classic movie line, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

The next thing I heard was a “Hoo.”

I was startled at first, but I looked at the origin of the sound, and there was an owl sitting on a perch.

I softly spoke to the owl to not wake up the other two, “Hello. Do you have a name?”

“Hoo.”

“Ah, Who. That’s a good name. My name’s Rod Kasparov.”

“Hoo?”

“You can just call me Rod. Do you speak as well?”

“Hoo.”

“I’ll just take that as a no.”

The next thing I heard was a burp coming out of Spike. Apparently, he burps out letters as well, but it wasn’t rolled up and sealed, it was simply unrolled and flat. It read, “Welcome to Equestria, Rod. I hope you feel more comfortable.” There was a smiley face written on the bottom of it. I compared it to the letters written, and I found out it matched Celestia’s.

“Thanks, Celestia. I am.” I whispered to the air.

On my way down, I looked out the window and noticed the moon. It looked a lot like the moon of my world, but it wasn’t full of dark craters like my moon. It certainly made it look brighter. I continued on downstairs to my makeshift bedroom to take it all in and to come to terms with my new life. “I am now a superhero.” I thought to myself as I fell asleep with a more relaxed mind.

I woke up the next day to find myself still in this nightmare turned dream. I left out a pretty good yawn.

“Good Morning, stranger.” Twilight called from the kitchen, “Come to think of it, I didn’t ask your name yesterday.”

“It’s Rodney Kasparov.” I answered, “You can call me Rod if that confuses you.”

“Okay, Rod. I’m just cooking up breakfast. I figured you would be tired of pancakes after last night, So how do you like hay and carrots?”

“Hay and carrots weren’t what I had in mind.”

“So what do your kind eat?”

“Well, Bacon and eggs are a good breakfast meal.”

“Bacon and eggs… So you’re a carnivorous race?”

“Nope, Omnivorous.”

“Well, I hope you don’t eat ponies.”

“Never eaten one in my life.”

“Well that’s good to know. I’m sorry I don’t have eggs, but Spike usually likes bacon and gems in the morning. It’s his favorite meal.”

“He eats gems?”

“Yup. Dragons have hard teeth that can crush through hard gems. It’s something to do with a carbon pattern that forms in their teeth that’s similar to diamonds.”

I heard a sizzling sound from the kitchen. It sounded like bacon being made.

“Ah, you’re such a wiz with science.”

“I know. I should be getting my horn out of those books.”

“Nonsense, Where I’m from, knowledge is King. One question: can you tell me how science can explain how your horn can levitate that tray?”

“I’d be glad to explain.” Twilight continued, “A simple kinetic levitation spell starts from a signal from my horn to summon protons and electrons and other free radicals towards a certain item, namely the tray. The electrons move in towards the tray and embed themselves within the molecular fabric of the wood. Then, the protons surround the tray, and I let dipole forces counteract gravity, and I have the freedom to move it wherever my mental strength allows. Am I confusing you?”

“No, I took science courses in college, and what you explained to me was amazing.”

“Wow. So I imagine that you are well read as well.”

“I just remember things really well. I don’t study lots, unless I really need to.”

She laughed, “I know some ponies who are just like you.”

We shared laughter, and then I smelled the smell of bacon.

“Mmmmm… smells good.” I admired.

“Thanks.” She responded, and then I heard a louder sizzling sound. “I do my best. Ponies can’t smell it, but Spike certainly can.”

“Heh, do the pigs here speak?”

“Nope. If you’re wondering how I got the bacon, they’re mainly imported from the Gryphon Empire, They’re sold in Equestrian markets for carnivorous species, like my Spike and Owlowicious.”

“Aloe-what?”

Then a “Hoo” came from the kitchen.

“My pet owl.”

“Oh, your owl.”

“She loves raw bacon, so I feed it to her every time she’s hungry.”

“Hoo.”

Twilight laughed, “Your bacon is almost done. Want anything to go with it?”

“How about toast and a glass of milk?”

“Will do.”

Spike came out from the stair tunnel, “Do I smell bacon?”

“You sure are smelling it.” Twilight answered, “I’m whipping up two batches for you and our new friend, Rod.”

“Nice to meet you, Rod.”

“Nice to meet you too, Spike.”

“Spike,” Twilight asked, “Did you send out that letter to Princess Celestia yet?”

“Sure did.” Spike answered, “How’s the meal coming along? I’m hungry.”

“Just making the final preparations,” I can hear Twilight shuffling in the kitchen getting everything set. “Aaaaaand done.”

She trotted out the kitchen with a tray with two plates: both with four strips of bacon, one with a side order of gems, and another with toast, and a bottle of milk.

“Dig in, guys. It’s gonna be a long day for us.”

“Because of training? Bring it on.” I confidently cheered as I took my first bite of the bacon.

“That’s the spirit.” Spike concurred.

“Here here.” Twilight joined in.

“Hoo.”

And so our future hero starts learning the way of magic, but few mysteries remain unsolved. How will the other ponies react to Rod’s presence? Who gave that mystery letter to Rod? All will be answered in the next issue of LIGHTNING ROD!

Comments

[SugarPesticide]

The beginning is very listy, giving all sorts of details that most likely won't be necessary to the story. This is especially egregious:
I’m twenty-six years old, six-foot-two, 210 pounds, moderately built.
Please don't do this. Please don't ever do this. Does anyone really care how tall or heavy he is?

I locked up the car, grabbed my bass from the hatch-back, and I ran towards the open garage door. While I was in the middle of the driveway, I got shocked by a lightning bolt.
That's rather anticlimactic, considering that it just happens. Any description on how it feels to have thousands of volts surging through his body? Any at all?

“I have good ears. I can pick up on things normal ears have trouble with.”
That totally isn't an awkward thing to say to someone you met literally seconds ago.

I jumped with my feet on the couch and yelled out,
So, opposed to jumping with his tongue then?

There was a smiley face written on the bottom of it. I compared it to the letters written, and I found out it matched Celestia’s.
I don't know if Celestia would draw such a thing for someone who doesn't even belong to their world, but all right.

“She loves raw bacon, so I feed it to her every time she’s hungry.”
Pretty sure that owl's male.

Anyway, it's not often you see the human in Equestria freak out at the sudden development, so I'll credit you for that. It bothers me that he gets over it so quickly, though. And the fact that he gets all buddy-buddy with Twilight so quickly sets off a Marty Stu warning bell.
You might want to give it a quick look-over before publishing it, just to make sure that there aren't any spelling errors or other problems of the sort.

[AliCentaur Br0ny]

Finally! A partial transformation HiE fic. I don't think that I've come across any other stories in which the human goes to Equestria and stays human except for growing a unicorn horn. All-in-all, the story is pretty good. It does have some problems, a bit of which possibly being the flow, but it's still a pretty interesting story. Time for me to read the next chapter.