The Mane 6 Aren't Real

by trahzo

Ch.2: His Home.

"Shogun Deezutra!" Discord called out.

"Yes my lord?"

"Invite the residents of the city & Ponyville."

"Yes, we want everyone to know Spike is back from his 4 year long slumber!" Then Celestia nuzzled him.

"Right away." Then like that, he dashed off.

"(Who's that guy? He seems so familiar.)" Apparently you don't remember all the times I put him in my stories you purple moron king of Jupiter. Man I'm so butt hurt today, Tails killed Luigi in the new episode of Death Battle, and in they didn't even show the combatants for the next episode, alls I know is one of the challengers is going to be a Pokemon, I'm betting it's Lucario, Jigglypuff or Mewtwo. Who do you think is damn next!? As I was saying, Spike was trying to take everything in still. He still can't believe he's a prince, but is still unable to believe that his father is Discord! But things aside, he's fairly happy to have a family still. "Umm..."

"I'm going to take a nap. DON'T DISTURB ME!" Luna told them then teleported *Poof!*

"I'm taking Screwball to the ballgame! Bye-bye." Said Discord

"Go Manehattan Cyborgs!" Screwball cheered then was teleported.

"I'm gonna go leave and hangout with my boyfriend Rumble, later dude." Then Barb ran some other way.

I'm going to take nap as we..." Then she felt a tug on her tail. "Yes, something wrong?"

"I Don't know where my room is. I need a tour because my coma made me forget."

" *giggle.* Private Veetrix."

"Yes milady?"

"Please give Spike here a tour of the castle."

"Spike? Hey isn't that that kid you told us were in comatose? Glad to see he's finally up from his ultra long sleep. I'll be more than happy to assist a prince of Canterlot who isn't Blue whiner."

"I told you, it's Blue...Blood?" He was shocked to see Spike. "Cousin? Oh, I'm so glad you're back." Then he walked toward them. "We have a-lot to catch up on!"

"Sorry Nephew, but Spike needs to refresh his memory on our home."

"Drats!"

"Don't be like that Blueblood, How's about we take a guy's night out tomorrow & flirt up some mares?"

"I guess that'll make-up for not being able to spend quality time with my favorite family member. Have fun then, I'll be at Pony Joe's."

"(He may like me, but I don't like him.)" Spike thought.

"Alrighty Spike, no more dilly dallying, time to get this show on the road." Veetrix told him.

Now we're gonna go through a Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends style montage. Oh come-on, you remember the premiere of that show where Wilt gave Mac & Bloo the tour right? Well we're gonna do something similar.

"Okay Prince Spike, 1st of all you need to know, is about the living room. As you can see, it's big but comfy. next we have the laundry room, dining room, Your mom's study, your dad's study, your Aunt's study, Your study!"

"I have my own study?"

"Yeah, apparently you were the most studious of the family."

"Cool."

"Next we have the arcade, employee bathroom, weight room, bowling room, ballroom. I was told this was where you threw up for your 1st & only time."

"Gross dude."

"Yesiree and indeedy. Next we have Screwball's room, Luna's room, your parent's room, Barb's room. As you can see, every male in this castle heeds the sign lest we get burned to a crisp." The sign says the only boys allowed in are Rumble & Spike."

"Wow, she must really love me to let me in there."

"Well, that's half the reason, the other half is because you're her twin. A clone per say."

"Ah, I see."

"Next we have hallways, hallways, hallways, hallways..." Then Veetrix & Spike started getting tired. "Hallways, petroom!" Then Veetrix perked-up. "Over there preening is your mom's phoenix: Philomena. That adolescent phoenix chick rocketing towards you is Peewee."

"Oof!"

*Chirp.* *Chirp.* *Chirp.*

"Peewee, oh I'm so glad you're not an imagination."

"Hmm?"

"I'll tell yah at a later time, now who's that?"

"Oh, that crazy pony is Screw loose, Screwball's pet barking pony."

"Okay, I'm creeped out now."

"Let's get outta here, Next we have the balcony, look at the million bit view of Ponyville over yonder!"

"Wow, A-amazing, so Ponyville is real."

"Next is the astronomy room, panic room, the private garden, court room, office, this is where official stuff such as delivery papers are written & signed by political people your mom hired when Celestia isn't working. Truth is, your mom makes days end fast when she's feeling lazy, which is about once every 4 to 5 and half months."

"Haha, that's funny."

"Alright kid, the tour is almost over. Dungeon, torcher chamber, testing chamber, science lab, thrown room, etc. etc. and finally, you're bedroom. Well, that's all, I'm gonna go get a snack."

"Bye Veetrix, I'll be sure to have mom give you a raise. Peewee, let your master be alone for a while if you'd kindly" Peewee flew off and Spike then turned to face his bedroom door, he opened it, then was shown jaw dropping amazingness! His room was luxurious, the closet was lined with the best fashions, a silver colored Nintendo 3DSXL rested atop a golden nightstand. The bedside lamp made out of emeralds & topaz was imported from the Crystal Empire. His bed had zebra print blankets & pillows. The velvet carpet matched the curtains. It seems Spike had his very own balcony & bathroom. The pure white walls were decorated with assorted jems. An airduct could be seen next to his door. Finally, a bunch of ladies were lined up wearing transparent clothing.

"Master, we're so happy you're back! Your royal harem missed you."

"Whu?" Spike was shocked to see all the girls in his harem. The following, are Nightmare Moon, Gilda, Trixie, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Queen Chrysalis, Nightmare Rarity, Sunset Shimmer, Suri Polomare, Mane-iac, and Chimera."(My goodness gracious, did I seriously envision my own harem as the villains in my dream? I'm so horrible!)" He thought while turning around attempted to process what had just happened. Then he felt a hoof on his shoulder.

"Are you okay darling?" Asked Nightmare Rarity.

"Yes, yes I am. (I guess this world is fine. I mean come-on, she may not be 'that' Rarity, but she's still Rarity.) Everyone, I have an important announcement!"

"What is it you command master?" Gilda asked.

"I have not had sex for 4 years, I bet you all know what's going to happen next."

"We sure do." Sunset Shimmer answered.

So all 12 in the room went under the sheets, for something I bet is very hard to envision in your head.