Maud gives birth to a rock

by Jammo

Auntie Pinkie Pie has it all figured out

Clutching her belly she walked through the Ponyville square, town abustle with actively, she doesn't normally come into town for anything. She was a quiet, reserved pony who lived on the outskirts under the strict but caring eyes of her ma and pa.

It was a rock farm. Daily life was waking up, brushing her teeth with a gritty sediment solution then spending her hours tending the fields. Collecting, breaking and shipping the rocks off to a variety of consumers. Wealthy noblemen would buy them for rock gardens. The lower class would need grinding stones to sharpen tools.

It was the life she was raised on. She was different from her other sisters. Her younger sister Pinkie had no passion for marble and masonry and chose to run off to Ponyville.

Her two youngest sisters Inkie and Blinkie were happy to work with rocks, but saw them as nothing deeper than a career. Rocks were who she was. Silent to most they spoke to her, a great proverbial wisdom that emanated from their dull, motionless bodies.

She was the awkward one, Pinkie was the family treasure and Inkie and Blinkie were the future of the farm. She knew rocks were in her future but not as a career.

She came into Ponyville as their general hospital could give her the best service she could afford. She was prepared for whatever the doctors said. She knew it was strange, she knew SHE was strange. But now knows it's what she wanted, and didn't care what anyone else had to say about it.. Except Pinkie Pie.

Before she knew it she had arrived at Sugarcube Corner. With a dead-eyed passive gaze and an empty look on her face she tapped her hoof on the door in three slow beats.

A cheerful motherly voice peeped a from inside "We're open, just walk in." The matte grey pony entered the building and saw her sisters landlord Mrs. Cake taking a special order of rum cake from Berry Punch.

The chubby blue mare with pink dollop of a mane glanced over at her new guest. "Oh Maud. Pinkie's upstairs if you're looking for her. She's got a new refrigerator box. That Pinkie." She chuckled dismissively at her tenant's antics.

Maude hooves clip clopped up the colourful candy-painted stairs, with banister bars of polished peppermint. As she walked up she could hear a childlike muffled voice "Lieutenant Gummy. Watch the pressure gauges and keep those claws clean! I will not have filth on my vessel!"

With a vacant expression Maud knocked on Pinkies door. In a loud bark Pinkie shouted "DON'T COME IN HERE!! THE ROOM IS FULL OF LAVA!!"

Waiting a few seconds to think out what she was going to say she replied "No it isn't.." To which Pinkie snapped back "Well you're not in here so I think I'm the one to know whether or not my room is full of lava am I right?". Trying to break down her sisters words, piece by piece she pondered how to respond to this. Invite herself in? That would make sense which Pinkie has never been about.

Against her sisters will she opened the door and as her eyes peaked in she was blindsided. "Mr. Gummy, fire crouton torpedoes!" A crusty, garlic and herb chunk of dried bread struck Maud in the right eye.

Eye burning from it's salty seasoning Maud could see her imaginative little sis sitting in a refrigerator box the surrounding floor covered in spaghetti sauce with various air pressure guns lining the ship loaded with ranch dressing, croutons and shredded cheese.

Pinkie was dressed up in a very professional looking blue and gold military garb, with dozens of bottle caps pinned on like medals. Gummy was just wearing a single eyepatch over his empty soulless eyes. Perhaps the only eyes that rivalled hers for sheer lack of expression. Maud walked towards the ship holding her her right hoof on her eye.

Agitated (at least internally her face was unchanged) she berated Pinkie. "Your gator has an eyepatch. I need one." Pinkie rolls onto her back, falling into her carved cardboard vessel and giggles wildly.

Propping herself up she responds with a smile "It's not like I keep eyepatches just anywhere. That would be silly. Plus gummy is the second in command of this ship. The S.S. Tamale, first combat ready lava submarine."

Maud's eyes slowly looked around the room soaking in the silly scenario her sister had created for herself. With a deadpan stare she explained why she came. "Pinkie. I have to tell you something important."

As she choked out her words Pinkie was busy firing your crouton gun full auto into Gummy's open mouth. Looking back towards Maud Pinkie cast a slightly concern looked at her big sis. "What's up?"

Maud crawled into the childish naval craft and said dryly without any buildup or explanation "I'm pregnant."

Pinkie let out a shrill gasp, grabbed Gummy and throttled him like a rag doll, look of pure rage in the pink pony's eyes, screaming "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER!?".

With a slight voice of concern Maud tried to calm her down "Pinkie pie. Please. Nothing happened. I just wanted to tell you first as there's a lot of things going through my head now and you won't judge me for it". The grey earth pony's eyebrows noticeably sank as she showed genuine concern when she spoke.

Pinkie pie beamed as she wrapped her hooves around her sister and a big warm hug, Maud looking away awkwardly. Pinkie let go and proceeded to give her the usual questions.

"So who's the lucky daddy?" Looking away she dryly responded "I think his name was Tom".

"How far in are you?" "Between Crust and Mantle."

"You have a name picked out for it?" "Ruby or Clay."

"Does mom or dad know?" "I haven't told them."

"Do you feel it inside you?" "After I drink water."

"Does it kick?" "Magnitude 2"

"Can I feel your belly?" "Can you?"

Pinkie snuggles up close to her sister, Gummy sucking ranch dressing strait from one of their canons as the share a tender moment in the refrigerator box. Unbuttoning Maud's frock Pinkie rests her hoof on the soft charcoal fur of her tummy. The elder one starring down at her with a dignified but caring gaze. No smiles, eyelids half-hung but with a love the runs deeper than she can express.

Pinkie nuzzles up against her belly and whispers "Don't worry your pretty little heads Clay or Ruby, your Auntie Pinkie Pie has it all figured out."

Comments

[mycutiemarkisagun]

This is the most entertaining Maud Pie story on the site so far. +1000xp

[Captain Burrito]

...more?

[Jammo]

Today I hope.

[Regidar]

"Can I feel your belly?" "Can you?"

Mathematician's answer!

Absurd, cute, and hilarious. I'm loving it.

[Jammo]

My 3DS returned from repair and I've been loving it too much to give you your horse rock pregnancy fic. I want the next chapter to be a long one and also want it to read better. Chapter 5 is the finale.