Honestly the use of 'My, I, me" in every other sentence makes it nigh unreadable. The story is little more than one action after another with complete disregard to setting the scene or 5 W's.
With a good editor you could probably pull a good story out though.
4176597 Yes, but there are still other words you can use to describe what is going on instead of repeating it so often. Not to mention that yes, it is first person but having a scene to backup what is going on helps a story immensely.
Honestly the use of 'My, I, me" in every other sentence makes it nigh unreadable. The story is little more than one action after another with complete disregard to setting the scene or 5 W's.
With a good editor you could probably pull a good story out though.
good good only saw some mistakes but still good
4176453 Isn't that what a first person narrative is. I mean correct me if I'm wrong but thanks for reading anyway
4176453 Isn't that what a first person narrative is. I mean correct me if I'm wrong but thanks for reading anyway
4176597 Yes, but there are still other words you can use to describe what is going on instead of repeating it so often. Not to mention that yes, it is first person but having a scene to backup what is going on helps a story immensely.
4176628 I just might keep that in mind bro.
4141990 just take your time no rush
4230122 Your absolutely right my mistake I probably should start doing research before writing. But thanks for reading