- Member Since 16th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen Apr 30th, 2018
Daxxus Trang
If the Army ever put people like me in a seperate unit it would be called Raging Shitbag Acoholics
Daxxus Trang
Joined 16th Nov, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Craigulus Twinblade · 52k words · 65 20 · 2.5k views
- JT · 12k words · 69 13 · 2.1k views
- Blade Heart · 23k words · 78 10 · 1.9k views
- Brony_cruiser · 6.9k words · 101 4 · 4.3k views
- Echo Derp · 71k words · 66 15 · 2.3k views
- bosoxboy521 · 16k words · 68 9 · 2.6k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.139 seconds
Total duration
672 users online
959,472 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You repeated half the stories at he end, you should re-read it to see what I mean
Which chapter
4122987
Don't get me wrong i like the story so far but you kinda repeated the first half once you reached half way
So far I am okay with the story, you would have done alot more better being more descriptive, but overall its okay. I suggest reading you story over to make sure there are no mistakes, cause I realized on one of the chapters accidently repaeats the whole part of a chapter again.
P.S: You can always say the character goes here and does this constantly, but the most important question to answer is why, and what does the character feel as this expereince is going. The main point of a story is to create a character and sent him on a adventure to see his experience and learn more about the character. Take a look into the nostalgia critic review of avatar and you will undertstand what I am saying.
I can't thank you all enough for the likes. I'm so happy that you can help me fix it besides hitting the dislike button. I love when people suggest ways to make it better instead it gives me the accentive to make it even more of a story instead of a jumble of paragraphs.
Lolz I see wtf I did wrong now. Oopsie
Good so far! Really looking toward to next chapters!
Just asking out of curiosity. When is next Chapter(s) to be expected?
4138770 I'm not sure now I can't a moment to myself to think and the result is bad stories lol. I'll try my best to have new chapters by next week instead of one daily
Honestly the use of 'My, I, me" in every other sentence makes it nigh unreadable. The story is little more than one action after another with complete disregard to setting the scene or 5 W's.
With a good editor you could probably pull a good story out though.
good good only saw some mistakes but still good
4176453 Isn't that what a first person narrative is. I mean correct me if I'm wrong but thanks for reading anyway
4176453 Isn't that what a first person narrative is. I mean correct me if I'm wrong but thanks for reading anyway
4176597 Yes, but there are still other words you can use to describe what is going on instead of repeating it so often. Not to mention that yes, it is first person but having a scene to backup what is going on helps a story immensely.
4176628 I just might keep that in mind bro.
4141990 just take your time no rush
Venus is the roman god of beauty
Aphroditey is the Greek god of beauty
Russian NVDK in equestria? That's new!
4230122 Your absolutely right my mistake I probably should start doing research before writing. But thanks for reading
How is it that I got only one veiw on this update but one like and dislike. Seriously did you just read the title and thumbed down. You know who you are and you obviously can't be pleased with anything so I say to you like a gentleman "Fuck You!"
Interesting so far
4237856
watch out guys
we got an angry person over here
4346682 Hey if James Holmes wrote down his feelings maybe he wouldn't have killed all those people. This is therapy for me so I don't act out and end putting a knife through someones ribcage and get my rocks off watching them die.
4347156
You mean I'm the only one who does still???
0.o
4358078 Huh??? Your not giving me much to go on be specific please
4358090
Nothing,
My disturbed presence is wasted here
4358201 Lolz its so nice to see I'm not the only one who is disturbed
"When the plague known as PAX-12 went from a local outbreak in Europe in 2035 to a full blown global pandemic people began to lose hope as millions died from internal bleeding. In only a few months after its discovery it had already killed 3.5 billion people worldwide. The worlds best scientists took drastic measures and removed any safeguards and regulations on medical research to find a cure."
My first thought was the flashgame Pandemic2.
Twenty-eight to twenty-four like:dislikes??? WHAT THE FUQ. You've done a good job so far bro! I'm a fan of the backstory of How the human crossed over into universe of X. Keep doing what you're doing!
4387367 Thanks so much for the comment and like. I don't use an editor or proofreader to check my work and thats were all the dislikes came from. But hey thanks for reading and I will update again by the end of july ot maybe later.
Interesting concept so far
Good to see you back
4712276 Thanks brother I've just been catching up on things for the last few days but it's winding down and I should be able to update more.
? ! ? !
moar?
5425644 I'm working on it
But thanks for reading anyway. I just don't have any free time
5468014 yus.
Why'd he kill all of those people? Makes no sense
6931986 He's not an evil person. He can read minds and could see the evil and good in people. He only had one friend the Husky named Venus and she was ripped away from him by the people he thought he could trust and fought for and it drove him to murder.
I'm happy to see this story updated. It's probably one of my favorite stories.
7111858 Thanks man when we get done with this training cycle I'll have time to write more.
7159079 Yay
Is Sempiternal a real word? Also, your avatar is broken.
7458939 Yeah It means everlasting. And as for my avatar Im tracking that it's all kinds of fucked up all that goofy Chinese looking shit is really kinda annoying.
6931986 they gave the order to search and seize which means they are the reason his dog died
Yay I'm glad to see this story being updated
Huh so they are the changelings now that's 1 hell of a mutation