The Diary Of Berry Punch

by Starshipranger01

Entry 1: The Summer Sun Celebration

Dear diary
I can’t believe I’m doing this. Since my shitty sister Cheerilee made me go to this shitty therapist because “I’m an alcoholic” and “I have a serious problem” I have to write this shitty diary. I don’t think that she even understand that I don’t want to stop drinking, I mean drinking is my life! I even have a fucking drinking-cutie mark and I brew my own punch. But it is pretty hard to make punch when you are drunk or got a hangover so I often buy drinks at the bar. And with often I mean always. And it isn’t like I sell the little punch I make, I just drink it myself. The only income I have comes from the Social Services, but it’s not much. I share an apartment with my sister, Cheerilee. She pays the bills with her salary from her job as a teacher. She is a pretty good teacher but I know it’s exhausting. The only thing she does is to grade the little fillies homework, I mean she haven’t had sex with someone since she was 30. When I think about it she is actually a pretty good sister, unlike me.

But let’s talk about drinking again, shall we? What am I even trying to do? Nopony is going to read it anyway, except little “Neat Rears”. Oh I’m pretty damn bad at writing this thing, English wasn’t my best subject in school. When I think about it, I didn’t have a best subject. I have always been this loser who can’t seem to get anything right, and look at me today, I’m a fucking alcoholic. I have no job, no special somepony, and no future. I go to a therapist and I write a freaking diary. Can it get any worse? Of course it can, and it will always get worse in this stinking world. I will become a homeless pony who will sit on the street, begging for alcohol. I have accepted my faith.

Anyway today it is Summer Sun Celebration which means drinking night! What an awful transition, I suck at this. Anyway, as always everypony will be at the bar tonight, trying to stay up till Celestia raise the sun. I have to admit that I’m pretty fucking good at it, many ponies don’t even make it till midnight. Well I do, which is not a very charming talent if you think about it.
I saw some fancy Canterlot-pony checking on the preparations earlier today. She seemed a little bit… uptight maybe. She looked rich thou, I mean she even had a baby dragon. But I don’t give a fuck, really. One thing I don’t understand is why they had to have the big celebration in Ponyville, it’s even the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration and which town did they choose, Ponyville? How ironic. Mayor Mare sure is happy, this is great for the economics I heard. I’m just glad I didn’t have to do much for the big party as I thought. Celestia had her own fancy Canterlot wine so I didn’t have to do some punch. More time for me to drink.
Now, my little perfect a-student that just graduated therapist says I have to sober up, but I can’t let this sort of event pass through. I promise she will bitch about it in our next session but to her I say “Go fuck yourself and get some perspective”. I don’t really care if little “Sweet Tears” or whatever her name is will read this, If I want to drink, then let me! But what if she shows it to Cheerilee, I do in fact care about her, even if I don’t express that very often. She can’t see this, she would be so disappointed in me, and she did actually save her money for my therapy. I can’t just throw the money away, even if “Heat Ears” or something is a bitch, I have to live with it, I have to show Cheerilee how mature I am, and that I can take care of myself. Maybe it wasn’t so good to call her shitty at the beginning, oh whatever.

I’m going to get myself a drink at “The Grumpy Griffin”, after writing so much about my drinking problem I’m craving for alcohol. And besides, I don’t have anything better to do. “The Grumpy Griffin” is the local bar or as I like to call it, my second home. It’s one of the few places here in Ponyville where you can get a decent drink without having to pay too much. I have been banned like 5 times but the bartender doesn’t really care. Her name is Misty Moon I think, she is only working for the money I suppose. I mean it’s not like anybody would volunteer to work with the Flim Flam brothers. They are the business owners that own the place, I think they hail from Trottingham. You see those guys quite often actual, always talking about their “great machine that can make cider in seconds”. Nopony believes in that bullshit, and if the machine could exist they would already be finished with it. They have talked about it for years! And nopony has seen the construction, not even the blueprints. Bullshit. But they take care of their business at least. Even if they are fucking annoying they can provide drinks, and that’s enough for me. Oh I love drinking. Beer, punch, cider, whine, anything that contains alcohol, I love it, I just, I love it.

How do perfect Sweet Ears (did I get it right? I think so) even thinks when she expects that I will stop drinking, it’s my fucking cutie mark you slut. Anyway have to stop here, this quill is making me sick. It’s so hard for an earthpony to write, we have to have that disgusting quill in the mouth, while unicorn can use magic. Fucking unicorn sluts, why can’t every damn unicorn go fuck a cactus. How do you even end this sort of things, goodbye? No, it’s not a letter. How am I supposed to end it? The end. Now it’s done, you can all go home. Oh fuck it, I’m leaving.

Comments

[Blood Brandy]

A funny little idea, I guess. Kinda looking forward to some character interaction.

Would be funny, if a little sad, if Berry did manage to sober up...Only to be thrown off the wagon by the events of a certain Hearts and Hooves day...

img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120213150257/mlp/images/1/1b/Berryshine_moving_house_S2E17.png
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120213150258/mlp/images/5/58/Berryshine_moving_house_2_S2E17.png
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[Berry Punch]

I don't swear that much

[keam]

Fucking unicorn sluts, why can’t every damn unicorn go fuck a cactus.
LoL!
This is the best *Buy some apples* characterasation of Berry Punch that I've ever seen except from Forecast by Jondor! oh, Ebba mentioned that her OC would be bartender in a story you was working on!

Sorry for not getting arouned to read it eatlier, but you know, you could at least have told me that you'd published it and I would have read it right away!
Can't wait for next update
Keam

[MistyMoon]

Hey just wanted to thank you for using my oc in your fanfic

[Starshipranger01]

So it's been awhile since i posted the first chapter, it's just that I have been really busy this month. Plus I had to give the memory stick with the only copy to my teacher 'cause I was stupid enough to think that she would give it back in like a week or so. Turns out I had to wait in like a month. So I will be able to actually start writing tomorrow.
And thanks for all (just 4) the nice comments. It really makes my day, even if I'm kind of shy and won't reply becuase I'm scared of grammar natzis and so on, but I do read it.
I'll keep that in mind Bloody Brandy, and I promise to go little easy on the language Berry Punch.