The Curse of A Well-Read Man

by LeoneHaxor

Chapter 2 - Old Friends (Director's Cut)

Thinking fast, Lee spoke up in his altered voice. "Setton, old friend! It is good to see you!" he said merrily. "Do you think there any more people coming, or am I going to need my party supplies?"

Setton processed this for a moment, and realized Lee intended to bullshit his way through this one. "Oh, I honestly don't know; I only came in on accident." Setton replied not untruthfully, brushing himself off casually as he could manage. Entering the room proper, he addressed the only visible other in sight. "Pardon me, but I don't think we've met before. Setton Stone, at your service," he said with a gentlemanly bow.

While he was acting his ass off, his actual thoughts read something like, 'oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I'm actually talking to Twilight Freaking Sparkle for the love of all that is holy do NOT fuck this up'

Twilight Sparkle had her eyes locked on the man with a strange look in her eyes. "I'm Twilight Sparkle...at yours." she said with a slight slyness in her tone.

Lee tried not to cringe as he was removing certain titles from his shelf, and gave up when he remembered he was invisible. He had about half of the information in his mind about how this Twilight would act, and prayed to any deity that would listen that, like in Inkheart, her behavior could shift from the script (if only a little) due to her absence from her story. The Silvertongue didn't want to have his tombstone read:

"Here lies Lee Richards. 1996 – 2016. He died while being aggressively molested by a unicorn."

Though he did admit that would make a pretty unique epitaph.

Setton, not realizing how deep he was digging himself, decided to let a bit of his enthusiasm slip. "Certainly not THE Twilight Sparkle," he said in astonishment, "Hailed as the most magically attuned unicorn in Equestria, descendant of the legendary mage Starswirl the Bearded, and current bearer of the Element of Magic?"

Lee nearly facepalmed, but stopped himself as a thought came to him. Alfonz typically dealt with his amorous aggressors with hostility, biting wit, and sheer willpower. Perhaps this fanboying would save their asses.

The mare was taken aback at his choice of words, taking a moment to collect herself before responding.

"Yes, that's me," she said sheepishly, with her face visibly crimson.

Their luck was holding out much better than he had hoped, and Lee began to relax before realizing it could easily go south at any second. Lee took a moment to make sure he had the books he wanted with him, and made his way over to his closet. Opening it, he retrieved a gray messenger bag and his well-worn overcoat, placing the books into the former and placing the latter on the nearby chair.

Turning, Lee cleared his throat ostensibly. "One moment of your time, Setton, would be greatly appreciated."

Setton, coming to his senses - though not happily - apologized to Twilight and made his way to the hall.

He felt an invisible hand pull him towards the other room, leaving their "guest" to her thoughts.

Speaking of whom, Twilight's face fell as she considered something Setton had said. 'Did he say I was Starswirl's descendant?'

When the door closed behind them, Lee slapped his friend.

Setton practically spat out, "What the hell was that for?"

Lee took off the Ring, and looked his old friend in the eyes. "Look, you broke up with your last girlfriend two weeks ago. And I get it, there are some fictional girls we'd all like to get it on with if we had the chance. But do you really think now is the best time to hook up outside of your species?"

Setton grew flustered, but Lee interrupted him. "Look, you're my friend. Hell, I've been by your side even when you tried to make a rocket out of wood, office chairs, a stolen windshield, and propane tanks five years ago. No matter what goes down, I need to know that you'll have my back like I've had yours.

"I'm not saying that wasn't risky," he added as he lowered his voice, "but that was damn good work on your part. Perhaps I won't be so quick to condemn similar acts of fangasm in the future - mostly because that shocked her into giving us time. But something tells me that you don’t want her hopes getting too high."

A moment of stunned silence passed between them, Setton looking at Lee in disbelief, the latter regarding him levelly. Setton was rendered speechless, unable to find something coherent to reply with.

Lee broke that loaded silence by pointing out that they had to find her a way back to Equestria, because they couldn't risk the eventual bashing down of their doors from people trying to exploit the unicorn for one reason or another.

They regarded each other silently for a moment.

"...you have no idea where to look for a passage back, do you?"

"You were paying attention," Lee said with a smile, patting Setton's shoulder in approval. "You're getting much better at reading subtext."
Setton rolled his eyes and thought for a moment. "If we're going to look for a fool-proof way to bring her back, we need to check the library for a usable passage. I doubt you have something better in mind, anyway."

Lee nodded. "Fine, but if she's going outside, we need to hide her. Last thing we need is a bunch of bronies or god knows who else proclaiming the Hour of Twilight."

Lee looked over the pages of a book on his desk, and swiftly looked for a certain passage. A few words later, a plain-looking cloak appeared on his bed. Lee draped the cloak over Setton, who immediately vanished from sight.

Setton hopped up and down, squee-ing like a girl. 'I've got an Invisibility Cloak!' he thought in jubilation.

Lee had to fumble around in order to grasp the Cloak, and he promptly whipped it off of Setton. “We've got work to do,” he said, finger wagging.

Setton pouted. “Can I get it back later?”

“Only if you help me pack.”

And so the two went to work grabbing tools and supplies left strewn on Lee's desk. A half-finished model of the Wheatley core from Portal 2 was casually moved aside, as the duo grabbed loose sheets of paper in various states of use, writing utensils, a notebook, and emergency flashlights.

Lee also grabbed his old backpack and gave it to Setton, who started to pack in earnest. They evenly split his snack stash, consisting of a box of Twinkies, two large bags of Cheetos, a six-pack of Gatorade, and several ramen cups.

After some consideration, Lee stuffed his model in a toolbox's compartment along with the materials and tools he had been using, and stowed it under his arm. It wouldn't hurt to have it close at hand, he reasoned, because you never know when you’d have the time to do such things.

Although Lee knew that he was really bringing it because he didn’t want to repeat a certain Jordan Dooling’s mistake; at one point he hadn’t had something better to occupy his time with, so he took advantage of his (supposedly) private setting. Only it turned out that the cell was a giant one-way mirror. And his friends were forced to watch.

He knew that the likelihood of that happening to him was slim to none, considering that it was from a work of apocalyptic fiction, but he preferred to learn from mistakes.

They exited the room after another moment checking and rechecking that they got everything they needed. Lee had been persuaded against wearing the Ring this time, as Setton preferred to face what was to come without any further deception. That and anyone on the road would be alarmed to see a car seemingly driving itself.

Twilight looked quizzically at Lee for a moment before piecing together that he was the owner of the disembodied voice. “Am I in the human world?” she asked.

Lee cringed. “Yeah, and that's my fault,” he admitted. “Unintentional, sure. But I'm sorry for that.”

Twilight got a strange gleam in her eyes. “So does that mean that there are more male humans nearby?”

Lee frowned. “Yeah, but there's a good chance you'd be dragged off by the FBI or something. They'd probably ship you off to top men –”

Twilight's eyes gleamed. “Oh?” she asked eagerly.

“– who would probably dissect you to figure out what makes you tick.”

Setton looked at Lee in horror, and Twilight's ears drooped. “Oh,” she said with considerably less enthusiasm.

After somewhat arbitrary introductions, Lee quickly put on his coat and bag, and made his way over to the mare. Slowly he crouched to be level with her eyes. "Now then," began Lee. "I'm going to try and get you home – preferably before the FBI gets wind of this – so I'm going to need your full cooperation. What you can do first is –"

---

Lee grumbled to himself as he stuffed more foodstuffs into his pack. He certainly didn't ask for that to happen, and was anything but happy about that development. Sure, a part of him got a kick out of it, but that was the minority vote in the Senate of his mind.

Setton was grumbling for a different reason as he dragged one of the filled packs to Lee's car. “Lucky bastard gets a kiss from Twilight Sparkle and starts acting like Lucy van Pelt in that Christmas special. Does he even realize how many people would kill for that?”

Setton paused. “Wait a minute...” He thought back to the fanfiction Lee had waved in his face. Setton whipped out his cell-phone and dialed Lee's number.

“Yeah, Setton?”

"So to be clear, you got her out of Dawn of the First Day?"

“Yeah...”

Setton closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “And you read the rest of that fanfiction?”

“I skimmed it for anything with her name,” Lee confided. “But I read about what she did to Spike,” he said in a considerably lower tone.
“Why do you ask?”

Setton winced. Yeah, that explained it. “I was wondering why you flipped out a minute ago.”

Lee sighed. “When this is all over, we're having a discussion about your tastes in literature. How's the coast today?”

Ah, the code. Setton turned in a casual circle. “Pretty empty, all things considered.”

“Good. Keep me posted.” With that, Lee cut the connection.

Lee looked over his apartment, taking in every detail of it. He had the sinking feeling that he wouldn't see this place for a while, but a part of him didn't care.

That same part of him that took the whole 'Silvertongue' business in stride, when the rest of him was coming up with a thousand questions about it.

Silvertongues gain their power through their bloodlines – in order to be one, at least one of your ancestors had to possess the 'gift,' so that begged a question in Lee's mind. How many of his family had the blood of the Silvertongues? Who passed the gift to him? Was it his father, his mother... or perhaps both?

Lee shook his head. He couldn't get those answers right now, but he made a silent vow to find the truth behind his power.

He turned his head towards Twilight, who was eying him strangely.

Lee sighed. This was going to be a long adventure. He just felt it in his bones.

---

After employing the invisibility cloak, the two men strolled as casually as they could with a lot of nothing in Setton's arms. Lee opened the door of his El Camino so Setton could enter the backseat before Lee slid into the front.

As the doors shut, Twilight piped up from under the invisibility cloak. “You do know I can cast an invisibility spell, right?”

Lee shook his head. “I'd rather not have you use up all your magic just to keep yourself from being noticed.”

“It would run off of ambient magic in the thaumosphere, so the drain would be minimal at best,” Twilight said as she 'looked' herself over. “But speaking of the cloak...where did you get this, anyway? The craftsponyship is incredible.”

Lee shared a glance with Setton though the rear-view mirror. “Let's just say I ordered it, and leave it at that for now.”

With that, Lee turned the ignition, and the car spluttered into life.

The radio began blaring a familiar tune as they pulled out of the parking lot. Lee grinned maliciously at the irony as he sang along with the chorus.

So you want to play with magic?
Boy, you should know what you're falling for.
Baby, do you dare to do this?
'Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse.

He danced in his seat, swaying his shoulders slightly up and down while keeping the wheel level, which is a feat easier said than done when driving at forty-five miles per hour.

Are you ready for, ready for
the perfect storm, perfect storm?
Cause once you're mine, once you're mine -
There's no going back!

Laughing, he decided to quit teasing his now crimson-cheeked friend and switched the input to the CD. The music soothed Setton slightly, and after a few seconds a side of his shirt flattened. Setton tried to focus on the music, and shoved the inner fanboy deep in his psyche to avoid catatonia.

Several blocks later, they pulled up to the library, with both companions sitting comfortably in the backseat. To their fortune, the only people other than themselves in the library were the sleeping librarian and an old man wearing sunglasses, who was quietly poring over a weathered book.

Making their way to the shelves in the fiction section, Setton felt it safe to take the cloak from Twilight, who was set down immediately.

“So this is a human library...” she murmured, eyes sparkling.

Lee left Setton to look after her for a moment, and went to the fantasy and science fiction shelves.

Halfway into his search, Lee almost didn't notice him enter the wing. He was wearing a black fedora, sunglasses, and a crimson button-down shirt underneath an open black greatcoat. Alarm bells went off in his head when he realized the man was headed directly towards where he left Setton and Twilight. Moving to intercept this stranger, Lee rapidly crossed the shelves, ever aware he was a mere four rows from the duo.

The man saw him coming, and paused. Features twisted in shock, the man consulted a note he had produced from his coat. Looking from the page to Lee, the man's shock dissipated, and a smile came over his face.

"Hello again, my friend. You haven't aged a day," he said, a strange note in his voice.

Lee was puzzled. He didn't seem to recall the fellow's name, but there was something familiar about him he couldn't quite place...

The mysterious man noticed his confusion, and smacked himself in the forehead. "Ah, I forgot about that – you don't remember me, do you?"

Lee's confusion grew as he struggled to put a name to the face before him. There was a nagging feeling of familiarity, but any attempts Lee made just gave him a headache.

The man saw fit to introduce himself at this point – "Silias Aeson, at your service" – with a tip of his hat.

"Lee Richards, at yours," the Silvertongue responded in kind. Lee realized that he had no hat to tip when his hand was halfway to his head, and he settled for rubbing his neck awkwardly.

Silias gestured to a certain row behind Lee. "I'd wager you'd like some assistance with getting your friend home." Lee began to speak, but Silias interrupted him. "I'd like to continue the acting enigmatic and say I knew about your situation long before you arrived, but let's be honest – I can see her from over here."

Twilight stepped out from behind the shelves and looked levelly at Silias, giving him an evaluating stare. Setton, dazedly following behind, clothes looking rather ragged, as if a sexually frustrated mare attempted to forcibly disrobe him while sealing his mouth shut with telekinesis.

...Silias pretended not to notice this. Instead, he looked around, taking in their surroundings as if for the first time. "Listen, this place isn’t the best for this conversation,” he said in stage whisper. “Follow me – I know where we can talk in private." Turning, Silias made his way deeper into the library.

Lee was still confused about Silias' intentions for the group, but he realized that the only way to get answers was to take the gamble. So Lee followed after Silias, gesturing to Setton and Twilight to do likewise.

Setton kept a wide berth from the mare, his eyes now holding a haunted thousand yard stare. Twilight, on the other hand – hoof? – held an expression made of one part curiosity, and one part disappointment.

As they turned a corner, Lee was suddenly compelled to look back. His gaze fell upon the old man, who was steadily meeting his gaze. Lee unconsciously reached into his pocket, and felt the reassuring metal of a pocket watch.

The old man smiled, raised a finger to his lips, and stood to leave with his book in his right hand. It was only after the man left the room that Lee noticed the white cane in his left.

---

After a few minutes of walking, the air seemed to grow heavier and heavier as the lights gradually lessened. They only went down a flight or two of stairs, but Lee couldn't shake the felling that they were stories below the library. His concern slowly mounted, but it was Setton who spoke up first. "Where exactly are you taking us? And, for that matter, who the hell are you anyway?"

Silias didn't break his stride, but he did turn to look at the group behind him. He thought for a moment, and replied with his own question. "You don't find it odd that I saw you with Twilight Sparkle in tow and didn't bat an eye?"

Setton opened his mouth, considered this, and closed it silently.

Lee, however, was intrigued. "Is this because of what happened the last time we met?"

Silias looked at Lee for a moment. "Wait, does that mean that you remember me?" he asked.

When Lee shook his head, he was visibly disappointed. "Well, things did get...bizarre the last time we crossed paths.” Silias looked into Lee's eyes. “The kind of bizarre that attracts some very dangerous attention."

Lee thought back to the Ring sitting in his pocket, and started to grasp exactly how terrifying his ability could be.

"Now, when you say 'very dangerous,’ what weight bracket are we talking about?" he wondered aloud, almost afraid to find out.

Silias stopped, searching for the right words. Staring at Twilight and Setton for a moment, he turned so that his back was to them.

Lee noted that the note was back in Silias' hand, and that Silias seemed to be scanning it for something.

"'In terms that your friends would understand, they'd take Applejack's best shot look like an eagle slamming into a window. One that's a yard thick. Made of Frost Diamond. At Mach Four. With her as the metaphorical eagle.'"

Twilight and Setton blanched at this. Frost Diamond was supposed to be the densest material known to Equestria, one that was as insanely rare as it was durable. Whoever could take a hit like that substance would leave the bones of their attacker in powder.

Of course, Lee had no way of knowing that data – that was A-class brony trivia from one of the more obscure fanfictions, which was far out of his realm of expertise – but he guessed enough from their reactions to shudder. “Any chance you could say the name of this group...” Lee started, but stopped as he considered something. His hand brushed his satchel, thinking about its contents. “...or will saying its Name tell them where we are?”

Silas opened his mouth to answer, but a loud thumping interrupted his train of thought. As he turned to see what made the noise, Lee noticed that they were in some kind of subterranean tunnel system. He briefly wondered how the hell they got here without anyone noticing the change in scenery, but that line of thought was dashed as he saw a shadow approaching from the way they had came.

Silas mused on this, fascinated by this development. "Well that's strange. Here I thought only you and I could find this place on our own."

Lee glanced at the wall as he processed this, and he could have sworn he saw some kind of bone disappear.

Despite the acoustics of the tunnel, Setton didn't hear what Silias had said. Rather, he was only able to hear the rhythmic thumping. "What the hell is that?" Setton practically spat out.

The only response given was Silias retreating further into the depths, hand on his chin in thought but otherwise undaunted.

Twilight blinked. “I don't think he's worried about it, whatever it is.”

Lee put a hand on Setton’s shoulder inn an attempt to reassure his friend. Setton still looked worried about the thumping but regardless, they followed him briskly down the tunnels, turning several ways before they saw the walls opening. A light could be seen as they rapidly approached the aperture, one that was strangely inviting and foreboding at the same time.

Lee, however, noticed something odd about the thumping - it was surprisingly rhythmic, and as the sound grew closer, he could discern what sounded like dubstep coming from the catacomb walls.

Stopping abruptly, he realized that the thumping WAS in fact dubstep, and turned around to face it.

Setton and Twilight continued to move forwards, oblivious to Lee's pause, and disappeared into the light.

Back in the corridor, the creature stepped into the Silvertongue's view. Lee saw it was rather small given its auditory output, as it only was level with his waist. It looked like a boombox on legs, and Lee recognized its species in a heartbeat. While he wasn't used to seeing such a thing in the flesh, it brought a massive grin to his face.

“Aren't you the cutest little Legstep!" As the oddly adorable creature caught up with him, Lee patted it affectionately. "Would you like to come with me?" he asked in the tone one usually reserved for dogs and babies.

The Legstep let out some short, upbeat wubs.

“I'll take that as a yes.”

With the bizarre creature in tow, he leisurely followed the path out into the light. “How would you like the name ‘Bass’?” he asked.
It let out a few more pleased sounding wubs, and Lee's grin gained an inch.

“Well Bass, let's see where we're headed.”

They emerged in a massive library, and as Lee looked for the others, he noticed something strange about the shelves. The sections were labeled "American People,” "British People,” and so on ad infinitum into the vastness. Looking down, Lee noted that books were set into the floor, countless hundreds of them paving the library's halls as far as the eye could see.

Lee let out a low whistle. “I'll be damned...”

He made note of a little 'Welcome' mat by the entrance, and Lee wiped his shoes off, not wanting to dirty up any of the spines of the books below him.

After a moment's searching, Lee slipped into the sub-section "Born in Maryland,” and went deeper into the shelves marked with 1990's birth dates. After a few minutes of searching, he found a book with his name on both cover and spine.

Upon opening said tome, he found that pages seemed stuck together - this oddity covered a year-long gap between his eigtheenth birthday and the present. That didn’t seem quite right, but Lee was more interested in how, hilariously enough, he found himself experiencing a variation of his favorite scene from Spaceballs, as he was reading exactly what he was thinking in real time.

'So the Peisistratos is real.' Lee paused. 'So does that make Silias...'

Shaking his head, he tried to unstick another set of clumped pages when a note fell from the page prior. Before he read the note, he took interest what he was thinking on the page in question.

The page in question mentioned part of an Alternate Universe based on the Rapture Logs, a work of fiction known as "The Knight's Legacy.” Looking carefully, it seemed Lee had started writing this one himself just prior to the memory gap. The page abruptly ended with Lee choosing the name of his protagonist, which was accompanied by a chillingly familiar sketch.

It was Silias, standing defiantly against four Rakes, brandishing a sickle in either hand.

Lee had time to think the words, 'no wonder he looked familiar,' before shit got real.

The pages abruptly began flying in his hands, turning themselves as if there was a gale force wind about. Over six months worth of memories began to flood back into Lee, racing through his head with alarming clarity.

Lee collapsed to his knees, clutching his head with his free hand. The young man was dimly aware of Bass, who was emitting some concerned sounding wubs over his shoulder.

As the last of the forgotten memories returned to their rightful place, Lee's head started throbbing more and more slowly. After what felt like an eternity, Lee rose to his feet.

“...well that explains a lot,” he murmured to himself, and opened his Book of Memories once more. Flipping through it, the pages flowed until the point he reached the end of the restored memories.

Confused, he looked in the book to find that there was a larger chunk of pages stuck together at that point. However, these stayed firmly stuck, despite any efforts to undo the bond.

He wondered about this as he closed his own Book of Memories, and his hand went once again to the pocket watch in his pocket.

Almost unconsciously, Lee placed his Book in his satchel, and went off to find the others.

Author's Note:

After an embarrassingly long time, I realized that I had made some continuity errors here in regards to the Rapture Logs. Whoops. The correct duelist and duel number have been swapped in, and some well needed clarity edits have been made.