Chapter 2.5
As the memory ended with another blinding flash, Twilight collapsed on the ground in front of Celestia. Her mind was a foggy mess; she had felt every pain, heard every thought of the Princess. Twilight had never felt so empty in her life.
Dazzle...seeing the dying purple pony as a bright eyed young filly nearly brought a tear to her eye. Young, full of potential, hundreds of years stretched out in front of her...gone in an instant. And now the time since her passing had long exceeded her life. It was such a lovely ceremony...but ultimately, what was the point?
But that wasn't the only thing that tugged at her.
There were a hundred ponies in that room, but Celestia may as well had been the only one.
"Celestia?" Twilight slowly got to her hooves and peered up at her mentor. "Is this why you told me not to bow?"
"It is indeed, Twilight Sparkle." Celestia closed her eyes for a moment. "It's a strange thing. Countless subjects live under me, yet I walk alone. They love me only for what I do and what I represent. They equate royalty with formality; they assume I adore the bows and titles, that I require them to treat me in such a manner. But there's no bond to be shared when a pony acts not out of free will, but obligation. Actions and words must be genuine for them to be truly felt."
"But Celestia...I'm sure they were genuine. Do you think they aren't thankful for what you do?" Twilight asked with a confused look on her face.
"Oh, I'm sure they are, and I'm glad they feel that way. But imagine, Twilight. Say you help me with some chores around the castle. Then, everytime I see you after that, I thank you specifically for the chores you did, using almost the exact same wording every time, simply because I feel like I have to."
Twilight nodded. "It would become old after the first time. I mean, I would know that you were thankful for the help. You wouldn't need to keep saying it everytime you see me."
"See what I mean?" Celestia peered down at her student, her face expressionless. "They constantly thank me just for who I am. I raise the sun for them, but with so many subjects, it is unlikely that I have personally done anything for a particular pony. Yet they praise me just the same."
"But why don't you just tell them to treat you normally? Explain to them how you really feel." Twilight said, before scrunching up her forehead, realizing how foolish her words sounded.
Celestia chuckled, before shaking her head. "You don't just tell a pony how to treat you, let alone thousands. I can imply how I feel; I'm sure you saw that in my memory. I couldn't just hold a speech explaning my true feelings. Actions and relationships dictate how one is treated. The less you know another pony, the more formally you will treat him or her. I can't possibly know all of my subjects personally, and therefore they default to formal treatment out of fear or respect. Perhaps both."
"Fear?" Out of all the words associated with the Princess, it was one Twilight never would have associated her with.
"Fear comes with power, Twilight." Celestia sighed. "I have been blessed with incredible magical gifts. Perhaps they are afraid that they will anger me, and a magical outburst would follow. You've seen for yourself how tough it can be to control it. Remember when you were first taking your magical entrance exam and you turned your parents into plants?" A small snicker escaped the regal alicorn.
Twilight laughed at the memory. "How could I forget?"
"Indeed, it was quite funny, given that no serious harm was done. But you know that controlling such magic..." a perfect sphere of light began illuminating from her horn tip once more. "...takes incredible willpower."
Another memory already? Twilight was starting to have second thoughts. I don't know if my mind can handle it...but I can't back down now. She simply nodded, bowing her own horn forward, closing her eyes, before another burst of light flooded her head.
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I dunno... I like the addition... but I don't like the fact that there was NO joy in this chapter, it sounds like Celestia's on a permanent downer from what you put in there. Maybe just my interpretation, and maybe it's because she was at a semi-formal event just meeting them... but...
382863
Well, I wanted to imply in chapter two that Celestia occasionally feels a little nihilistic. I tried to illustrate this by the thoughts that crept into her head in the end. It's supposed to be a fun time and happy time, but Celestia can't shake the thought that everypony in the room, including her students will all be dead as soon as she knows it. That's what I was getting at when I had Twilight think But Ultimately, what was the point? By recalling that memory, Celestia has the same mood as she did during the ceremony. Does that make sense? Or am I being a little too subtle in implying that in the chapters?
Nah, I get it. I'm just saying, while she has these nihilistic feelings, I figured a "beginning" is the time where she would feel a significant amount of joy, even if it WAS alongside these other feelings. As I said, mostly my interpretation and opinion. Not really... criticizing... just putting my thoughts out to possibly help others figure out what they actually think about the chapter.
382935
Are you still talking about chapter two, or chapter three where she first starts ruling? Remember, in chapter two she states that this is the 200th introduction ceremony she has attended, which would be at least 1000 years into her rule. This is after she banished Luna to the moon, contributing even more to her loneliness.
382948 Ya, and I understand that. As I said, I pretty much understand where you're coming from. Especially since this is the VERY beginning of this relationship. I'm sure much of the joy she'd get would be from the years following, especially now as I've thought about this a little more.
One question: Is Twilight feeling what she, personally (ponyally?), thinks she should, or is she feeling what Celestia DID feel at that time?
383001
I wouldn't say she is directly feeling what Celestia is feeling, but she gets the "essence" of what she's feeling, if that makes sense. Plus, she can directly hear Celestia's thoughts.
Also, what relationship do you mean? The one between Celestia and Twilight? And do you mean the years following the beginning of her rule?
383014 The relationship between Celestia and the students. She's meeting them for the first (or maybe near first) time. So she knows this is the beginning of the end. We all know that she must get joy from her time with them eventually, or she wouldn't still be taking students.
Like I said, now that I've thought about it, it would make sense to say that the 2 saddest times for Celestia would be the 2 times you've shown through this story, the very beginning and the very end. In the beginning, she doesn't have the "past experiences" to look forward to having again (as you explained in chapter 1), and at the end (before they die), she doesn't have the ability to look forward to more future experiences.
383033
Ah, wow. I'm dumb.
Hmm. You bring up an interesting point. Right now, I want to chalk it up to simply a moment of weakness on Celestia's part. The mind is a fickle thing. Even if she has a certain attitude (to revel in the good times, like she told Twilight) sometimes sad thoughts/feelings can creep up on us for no reason, no matter how joyous the occasion. Perhaps I could have Celestia explain this to Twilight, as well as inject a bit more optimism and chapter two and mention that Luna is gone.
Thank you for the comments, they are really helping! :)
383062 That's why I figured I'd keep replying. We weren't arguing, we were more.... fleshing out what needed to be understood.
I'm glad to be of service