Derring-Do and the Lost Kingdom

by Eh

Chapter Three

"The only good Dolphin is roasted and served with Sweet Apple Acres cider on a silver platter."
- Aeschylus Razorwind, Spheres of Influence, by Penworthy

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Location: Somewhere in Canterlot
Time: 3:30 AM

Penworthy yawned, the low patter of the rain combined with the rocking motion of the carriage were barely enough to keep her awake (Barely because that was one comfortable carriage.) Derring was just as tired as she was, but was far more used to working sleepless nights than her good friend was. Derring looked over to the lovely unicorn mare Fleur, who had sought them out, "So what does Fancypants want with me?"

"If I knew, I would've told you by now." Fleur looked just as tired as Penworthy, but she made it look undeniably sexy while she was at it. Derring thought it must be some part of her talent, "I don't probe too far into my husband's affairs to be frank."

"Being married to one of the richest stallions in Equestria must be great though!" Penworthy finally snapped out of her sleepy stupor and decided to join in the conversation.

"It is, he's quite the gentlecolt."

"Oh! We're going to meet Fancypants, Derring! I'm so excited!" Penworthy bounced in her seat, smiling like a filly on Hearth's Warming Eve.

"Just thirty seconds ago you were ready to go back to sleep." Derring remarked. Penworthy giggled, then looked out the window. Outside was Fancypants' grand mansion. Compared to most other nobleponies and their estates, Fancypants' mansion was actually quite small. The garden in front of the mansion boasted a small yet delicate looking fountain, and the normally blooming flowers had been shut by the persistent rain and nighttime. The carriage pulled into the driveway in front of the mansion. An earth pony servant quickly ran out and opened the carriage door, the three mares quickly ran for the mansion and out of the rain.

"Whoa." Derring looked around in the lobby (or foyer as Fancypants would call it.) Despite the mansion's small size, she was amazed at the glimmering and smooth architecture of it all. Much to Derring and Penworthy's surprise, there was no grand golden chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Two grand staircases joined into one on the second floor, and in between the two staircases on ground level was an admittedly simple looking door. Fleur led the two mares to the door opened it, revealing an elevator. They stepped inside and Fleur pressed a button, the doors shut and much to Derring and Penworthy's surprise, the elevator was descending.

"Where are we going?" Penworthy nervously asked. She didn't like elevators.

"My husband has quite the secluded study underground. It's quite good when he and I need some privacy." Fleur answered with knowing smirk. Penworthy giggled, Derring simply rolled her eyes. The elevator stopped and the doors opened, "Make yourselves at home, I'll get my husband."

Derring and Penworthy exited the elevator. Fleur signalled the elevator to rise, shutting the doors. The two examined their surroundings. One of the most striking things was the large aquarium taking up an entire wall, filled with rather colorful fish. Opposite them was a fireplace, above that were several portraits and paintings, and across from the aquariam was a large bookshelf filled with all kinds of doorstoppers and novels. In the center of the room lied furniture, a large looking purple armchair and a table that looked more like a giant slab of iron than a proper table.

Penworthy, being an author, trotted over to the bookshelf first, "Celestia's bowels!"

"What is it!?" Derring quickly flew over to her friend. Penworthy quickly pulled a book from the shelf with her magic, her face bearing an expression of shock. Derring quickly glanced at it, and it immediately became clear why.

"He has one of my books!" Penworthy only barely remembered writing Spheres of Influence. It was written after reading about Gryphonian expansionism, and the book was nominally a satire of it. She was never good at history so she didn't think much of the book. Her squealing delight told Derring how happy she was however, "HE HAS ONE OF MY BOOKS DERRING!"

"Indeed..." Derring was genuinely happy for Penworthy. Getting your works noticed by Fancypants was a sure sign of success in Canterlot. However, she wasn't much of a reader, it was for eggheads she thought. She quickly looked over to the aquarium, when something caught her eye.

"Celestia!" Derring shouted, she quickly snapped over to the aquarium, pressing her face against the glass.

"What is it? Is it a shark? You know how much I don't like sharks Derring!" Penworthy was indeed very afraid of sharks. She nervously edged over to the aquarium.

"No, it's Coelacanth!" Derring yelled, her voice muffled partially by the glass. Indeed, inside the tank were not just ordinary fish but rather ugly old looking fish. They floated inside, mostly minding their own business, "Amazing! They're supposed to be extinct! He must've had them cloned or something!"

"Cloning dinosaurs, don't be ridiculous Derring." Penworthy left Derring at her place at the aquarium and head for the fireplace. She looked over the portraits. Surprisingly enough for her, there were very few portraits of Fancypants himself. Instead, there were portraits of Princess Celestia, a few nobleponies that Penworthy couldn't recall, Captain Traveller of the Royal Guard, and strangely a grey coated, blonde-maned mare with mismatched eyes. But there was one hanging over the fireplace most prominently and largely.

"Hey Derring, isn't that your father?" Derring looked over from her place at the aquarium. Indeed, the largest portrait right over the fireplace was a painting of Fancypants himself, and her father. Derring quickly trotted up to it, looking upon it with awe and slight confusion, "Your father knew Fancypants?"

"Indeed, finest stallion I've ever met." A posh masculine voice echoed behind them, they quickly turned around. Standing before was the white coated blue maned unicorn stallion himself, Fancypants.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" Penworthy was having quite the moment. She galloped over to Fancypants, "You'reFancypantsIcan'tbelieveityouhaveoneofmybooksdoyoulikeit?"

"Indeed Miss Penworthy, I love your work in general, the prose is subtle and your work on Spheres of Influence is one of my favorites. I can say I'm quite a fan of you." Fancypants' response was enough to knock Penworthy on her flank. Derring in the meantime had caught up with them.

"You knew my father?" Derring asked.

"Yes, your father Will Do was quite the stallion. Nervy for a navigator if I do say so myself."

"Wow... it's just... he never mentioned you." Derring was honestly confused, her father had known one of the most influential ponies in Canterlot, and she had never known about this.

"Oh, he respects a stallion's privacy. One needs some time to himself." Fancypants walked over to the armchair and sat down, sighing in relief, "Oh yes, if you're wondering why you're here, do look over there. It's for you."

He pointed at a package on the table. Derring had noticed it, but didn't want to touch it, she thought it was Fancypants'. She looked at the writing on the wrappings:

To Derring-Do
My greatest gift.
Sincerely, Will Do.

"My father sent me this?" She briefly pondered which was his greatest gift, her or whatever in Tartarus was in the wrapping.

"Indeed, told me to give it to you when you were ready." Fancypants answered. Derring bit into the wrapping and tore it open, what was inside caused a great many of emotions to explode.

"It's..." She ran her hoof over the hardcover, slightly scorched and it's pages yellow and stale. This particular book would be pretty unworthy of anypony's attention for more than a minute. Not for Derring, she knew how important this book was, "It's Clover the Clever's Journal. Fancypants, this journal is the key to finding the lost civilization of Thule!"

"Thule, ha! Do I look like a newborn foal Miss Derring?" Fancypants snickered, "We all know Thule is mythological at best."

"No no, this journal is direct evidence of its existence, it has coordinates, clues, locations, even some details on Thule itself." Derring quickly shifted through the pages, careful not to tear the old delicate pages from sheer excitement. The journal possessed a great many illustrations from Clover herself, and was written in Old Equestrian.

"It's just a load of gibberish Derring." Fancypants remarked. True, Derring couldn't read Old Equestrian, there was a reason they called it Old. She knew one person who could understand it however. Derring quickly dashed over to Penworthy, who was lying on her back still in a giddy fan drive.

"Penworthy, you can read Old Equestrian right? You took a course on it in the University didn't you?" Derring pleaded for Penworthy to not have forgotten it. Penworthy snapped out of her catatonic state and quickly answered Derring.

"Oh of course! I still use Old Equus in my books from time to time when I need some dramati-" Penworthy quickly found herself lifted up and dropped at Fancypants' feet.

"There! Translator!"

"Okay," Fancypants wasn't done however, "So you have a translator who can read it, but there's no telling if it's a fake or-"

"It's not a fake!" Derring quickly got into Fancypants' face, staring him down like a cockatrice, "My father would know if this was fake!"

"Even so Derring." Fancypants nudged Derring out of his space, "If it's not fake, it belongs in a museum."

That caught Derring off guard, Clover the Clever's journal was probably older than the Royal Sisters themselves. The fact that the book survives today is probably a miracle on its own. It did belong in a museum. However, she wouldn't have it.

"Fancypants, you can grab all the shiny artifacts and put them into a museum, and you wouldn't understand how people back then lived. Archaeology and history isn't just about what belongs in a museum or not, it's preserving the legacy of those that came before! This journal can be the key to finding Thule and..." She mulled over the journal, softening her features, "making my father's work mean something."

Fancypants took on a sympathetic expression, he knew just as well as Derring how obsessed her father was with finding Thule. Since his disappearance, Derring took on his role, just for his sake. Derring shrugged off the emotion and replaced it with her trademark determination.

"Now I don't need your patronizing Fancypants, I will find Thule using this journal on my own" She quickly looked over at Penworthy, who was waiting patiently for her to finish, "maybe with Penworthy, and I don't care what it takes!"

To Derring's surprise, Fancypants gave a devious smile as if the final piece in his gambit had come to place, "Congratulations, Miss Derring. This is exactly what I wanted to hear."

He tapped a button on the table. Derring quickly backed away, but instead of the table exploding or releasing swarms of bees as she had predicted, the table opened a hatch on its top. Slowly, small models of what looked like Gryphonian weapons of war rose up from the table, "You can forget going it alone Derring, we will travel in style."

"Whoa!" Penworthy sidled up to the table, "These are Gryphonian military vehicles!"

"What? How do you know?" Derring asked.

"I did research when I was writing Spheres of Influence. That's a Nautilus-class submersible battleship. three-hundred hooves in length, crew of over two-hundred" She pointed at the largest model, a long looking submarine, then at a smaller bullet shaped one, "That's an M1A1 Piranha Sub-pod, and that-"

"We get it Miss Exposition." Derring shoved her hoof into Penworthy's mouth, "What does all this have to do with Thule?"

"Well let me start from the beginning Miss Derring," Fancypants stood from his seat and walked to the fireplace. Derring followed him closely, Penworthy remained behind to fiddle with a model of a balloon, "You see, your father when he was around always regaled me with tales of Thule and that journal whether I liked it or not."

Fancypants stopped at the fireplace, dusting off some of the framed pictures and antiques perched there, "So one day, I made him a bet, 'Will, if you find that journal, I will personally finance the expedition to Thule and kiss you right on the mouth!' I said."

He telekinetically grabbed a framed photo and showed it to Derring. It was a picture of his father and Fancypants, both recoiling in disgust, and the journal in Will's hooves, "Imagine my utter horror when he found it!"

"I see, but that stuff on the table-"

"There is a division in the Gryphonian military known as G.A.R.D., or Gryphonian Archaeological and Research Division, very underfunded. All I did was donate quite a generous amount of money to them and in exchange, they provide the manpower for the trip." Derring looked back at the table, Penworthy was now making the sub-pod model fly about with her magic and making weird sound effects out of her mouth, "They wouldn't have been able to requisition those particular vehicles without my help."

"Wow, I'm... simply amazed." Derring said.

"Indeed, I'm not a pony who skips out on a bet, not like my yes-mares or the ones in the Court." Fancypants put the picture back in its place and looked up at the great portrait of him and Will Do, "I am a pony who keeps his word."

Fancypants was indeed honorable, a noblepony in both senses of the word. He hung his head low however, he was keeping his word. But Will would probably never get to see it, "Miss Derring, let me tell you, your father was a great pony."

"I don't need someone to tell me my father was great, I already know." Derring placed a hoof on Fancypants' shoulder.

"Those braggarts at the museum, dragged him down, destroyed him. Wherever he is, I hope he's happy at least." Fancypants sighed, then quickly made an aboutface, "Well what are we waiting for Miss Derring?! There's much to do and so little time!"

"Wait, Fancypants, I know you've already got the equipment but for an expedition of this scale," He quickly trotted over to the table, Derring followed. Penworthy quickly stopped playing with the models and sat down formally, "You're going to need a crew! Specialists!"

"Taken care of, who do you expect to drive the ship after all, you and your friend?"

"You're going to need engineers, geologists, navigators-" Fancypants quickly pulled a large folder from a hidden compartment in the table (Derring briefly pondered just what else he was hiding in there.)

"The Griffins provide nothing but the best Miss Derring." He dropped the folder down onto the table, letting its contents spill out for Derring and Penworthy to see. Mostly wordy documents from the looks of it, along with dossiers on various specialists accompanying the expedition. Penworthy quickly shuffled through the dossiers. There were photos of the various specialists and crewmen accompanying the dossiers. She spotted various unicorns and an earth pony, griffins, a diamond dog, a panda, a few minotaurs, all kinds of creatures, "Let me tell you Derring, Will worked with some of these same people when recovering the journal."

"Where did he find the journal?" Derring never thought to ask the question, she mentally slapped herself for that. The answer however was to her immense satisfaction.

"Gallia!" Fancypants dropped a new photo on the table. It was a group shot of various griffins and ponies. Will Do was in the picture himself, holding the journal together with a rather large set griffin. A rare smile on his face.

"I knew it!" Derring hugged a surprised Penworthy and lifted her up into the air, squealing with delight.

"Indeed Miss Derring. We have the journal, the crew, the location, now all they need however," Derring stopped her little moment, dropped Penworthy, and came back to ground, "Is a navigator, and someone who can read this journal."

"Alright alright, but we'll be gone for some time, our apartments, we'll have to give notice." Penworthy quickly added.

"Taken care of." Fancypants said.

"Our things?"

"Packed and in storage."

"My cat?" Derring quickly asked. A familiar meow suddenly caught Derring's attention. Her cat, Ahuizotl, crawled up her behind her, she quietly whispered, "Hi Ahuizotl."

Fancypants lifted the journal and offered it to Derring, "Miss Derring, your father had a saying, 'Our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children', this is his gift to you. Thule is waiting."

Derring slowly took the journal into her hooves. Thule was her father's life, if anything now he would probably never see it. What struck Derring so hard was that he must have had the journal in his possession if he found it. Instead of immediately searching out for Thule, he gave it to Derring. Tears were suddenly starting to form at the corners of her eyes. She immediately took Fancypants in a hug, "Thank you. I won't let you down, I promise."

"I'll take that as a yes Derring, and I assume your friend is coming too?" Penworthy immediately hugged Derring from behind.

"Of course I am! She's useless without me!" The three shared shared a good laugh. They separated from their hug.

"Don't worry Fancypants, I won't make you regret this!" Derring quickly assured.

"You're Will Do's daughter, I have nothing to worry about." Fancypants patted Derring on the head, "Now and your friend should run along, I'll have someone come by in the afternoon to transport you to port."

"Again, thank you!" Derring and Penworthy quickly trotted over to the elevator.

"We're going to find Thule, we're going to be rich, I'll probably get to meet a nice stallion, oh my gosh!" Penworthy bounced in her step, "Derring, I'm so excited I can barely hold it in!"

Comments

[SkyStream]

Derring O_O (yeah I know, its getting old)

DERRING?!?

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[Eh]

457338

Indeed, it's very much intentional. Mostly because I like being contrary just to see how people react.

[Thespurgin]

So far, I'd say this belongs in the "stuff that should be made canon by hasbro" folder... I DO need to make that...