So after that whole mess of a situation with those guards chasing after me, I was being escorted by them to Canterlot castle as they wanted the Princess's to get a look at me and maybe shed some light as to 'what I am' and if I'm a threat of any kind. It was rather odd hearing myself being referred to as such things. I can't help but think they're exaggerating a bit. I lack both the size and the physique to appear threatening, let alone capable of causing much trouble. But it was probably best I kept my opinions on such to myself, at least for now anyway until I get a chance to explain some of my situation, something I'm still trying to piece together myself as I'm walking alongside the guards.
The walk to the castle was rather slow and the guards were watching me every step of the way. It seemed like they were ready to pounce the moment I tried to move away from the path. The slow walk at least gave me a chance to finally get a look around at my surroundings and get some idea of what's going on. I could see many of the pony residents wandering around and often fleeing or just moving aside with their mouths agape, not that I could blame them but I was just as surprised as they were. I couldn't believe these were really ponies around me. Ponies from a show I enjoyed. I didn't really think it could be the same place, but the mention of Canterlot, the princesses and just the fact that the stallion leading the guards escorting me looked exactly like Shining Armor... There was no denying it. I'm really here. But how? And why? This is just going to make an explanation harder for me.
My attention kept being drawn back to my surroundings. Canterlot was quite the impressive looking place to say the least. Everything looked almost storybook and fairy tale in design, the buildings were often tall and looked almost castle like in its décor as well as covered with white and a mix of gold, purple and blue. It was rather eye catching. But it all paled in comparison to what I had saw before me with Canterlot Castle.
The only things I had ever seen of the castle were shots from the far distance just to fit it all in. But seeing it in person really shows just how tall and wide this castle is. I couldn't help but feel intimidated by the size of this castle. And I had to enter it and meet Princess Celestia herself. I could feel a pit sink into my stomach while the rest of my body started to tense up. Despite how slow we were to walk here, it was still too fast for me. I didn't have much time to prepare anything, nor did I have much of an idea of what I'd prepare to begin with. But there was not turning back. The guards would be sure of that. It would seem I'd have to face the music, I can only hope the Princess is as understanding as I imagined.
Once Shining Armor had gotten the approval of the guards at the front entrance, we all continued forward into the castles courtyard. I took a quick look around to see the courtyard was rather big though it mostly consisted of some grassy area's, tables and chairs for guests to sit outside at and a fountain at the center of it all. I didn't have much of a chance to look around before we had arrived at the doors to the castle.
Upon entering the castle, we arrived in a rather big and rather square looking room. At the other end of the room lay 2 large doors, containing a sun crest on the left door and a moon crest on the right door. I couldn't help but question to myself on why such big doors would be needed but it probably wasn't that important to consider. The room also had two hallways either side of the entrance going to the right and left of the castle, with two more hallways at the very back of the room, both moving deeper into the castle. Ignoring those hallways, we just walked directly to the big doors infront of us.
Shining Armor's direction changed to face me. "You, wait here." Not wanting to cause any more problems then I already have, I just stood their as still as I could be. Shining Armor approached the two large doors alone and opened the door with the sun crest wide enough to squeeze himself in and then shut the door behind him. I just stood there along side the other 2 guards who had escorted me, my sense of time was gone and my anxiety was making the wait of the unknown all the more worse. It felt like I had been standing there for an hour before he finally reappeared through the door.
"You. Come with me. You two man these doors."
The royal knights gave a salute with a firm and loud. "Yes sir!"
Not wanting to keep her highness waiting, as much as I would have preferred. I followed Shining Armor into the room. The room I had entered was rather long and and narrow, a fancy red carpet with gold lining ran all the way along the center of the floor up to the throne, where the Princess of the Sun was seated. With a quiet gulp, I walked along my way to her followed by the Captain.
My eyes kept diverting their attention to the surroundings, trying to find something to focus on to ease my mind. The room we were in was very large and decorated with various tapestries and stained glass windows. It was all so big, bigger than anything I've seen before. My thoughts had kept me preoccupied for a short time before we had finally reached the Princess, her throne sat above some steps, giving a bigger feel to her. Shining Armor took a bow before her before speaking. "I have brought to you the strange creature that caused a stir in the city." The princess took her time to look and watch me. My eyes occasionally met with hers but most of the time my eyes wandered around. The experience was already awkward enough without being stared at by someone of her status.
"Thank you Shining Armor. You may leave this to me now."
"Princess, are you sure that is a wise decision?"
The pony princess smiled and nodded. "Yes, do not worry. I shall handle this. We can't have you away from your duties for too long now can we?"
Shining Armor nodded and gave her a salute before making his away back across the room and through the door leaving me and the princess alone. Once he had left, the princess arose from her throne and slowly trotted down the steps until she was at the same level I was. She seemed to measure around the same height as me from what I was looking at, which wasn't too much of a surprise considering the other ponies I had saw looked around mid way of my height, reaching just below my stomach.
I just continued to stand their in silence, my mind was drawing blanks at any possible things I could bring up. I just watched her watch me. She chuckled softly and smiled at me.
"I must say, as far as threats go. I've never seen one sweat so much."
"Eh?" I rub my hands against my forehead to find it rather moist, I'm not even sure how that happened without me noticing but the attention being drawn to it just made me sweat more and caused the rest of my face to heat up. I think she could tell I was nervous, as if I wasn't making it overly obvious already so she started talking again.
"I must say, I've never seen one of your kind before in our land. In fact I can't really say I've heard of your species either. Perhaps you could explain it to me?"
Her eyes felt kind and reassuring. I mustered up what little courage I had and started talking.
"Uh, my name's Daniel. I'm not from here. I mean obviously, hahah..." Celestia chuckles softly once again, whether its because she found what you said amusing or if she's just humouring you, who knows. "I don't know what to tell you, I don't know how I ended up hear honestly. This whole situation is up in the air for me as well. Uh, but as to what I am. I'm a human."
"Human?" she mutters to herself, a serious expression appearing on her face. "I'm afraid that race is unfamiliar to me as well. As for how you ended up here. There are ways I can think of how it could have happened, but I can't be sure. I will need to discuss this with my sister."
I nod to her politely. "Um, not to be rude your highness. But I'm unsure as to what I should do here."
The princess looks at me with a slight smile on her face. "Well, you don't seem to pose a threat and I'm unable to sense anything in particular. So I shall allow you to stay at my castle for the the time being while I work these things out with my sister. I can't allow you to run around freely just yet, as I would like to keep watch on you as well. I hope you understand."
I give the princess bow as elegantly as I can. "Thank you, it means a lot to me your highness. I don't want to cause trouble."
Celestia gives me a warm smile. "Thank you Daniel. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to explain your race to me as well. I'm sure my sister would be curious as well about your kind."
I give the princess a nod of reassurance. "Thank you, I shall have a room set up for you to stay in while you're here. I'll be coming to check up on you once I've discussed the matter with Luna." And with that I gave the princess one last bow before walking across the room again to the entrance. The princess warm words and smile helped ease my tension of the situation but there was still a lot on my mind. Namely how and why I ended up here to begin with. But at the very least, it would seem that my stay would be a pleasant one, I hope as much at least.
Hmmm... bland descriptions, one-dimensional characters, and an overall lack of effort. Overall, it's another run-of-the-mill HiE fic.
3999961 Well you certainly are blunt. But yes, my writing needs work and I'll openly admit that. Going to take some time to get the hang of this. But I can assure you I did put effort into this. Sorry to hear it wasn't to your taste. I intend to flesh out the character as the story progresses and the interactions start becoming more of the focus.
4000011 First? Really ;P Oy, haha. Thanks for your comment though. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Not bad, enjoyed this quite a bit.
three words... wall of text. Even if your story is good, telling it in that way usually destroys any interest in a story.
4000347 Thank you, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it.
4001244 I didn't think that it was too wall of text heavy, very paragraph heavy I admit but I spaced them out as I felt appropriate. If you have any suggestions though I'd be more than willing to listen.
4001381 well to start you could separate what the characters say. when they are pressed tightly into the same paragraph it becomes a bit irritating. A good example would be when you typed:
"Thank you Shining Armor. You may leave this to me now." "Princess, are you sure that is a wise decision?"
maybe you could pull these into sections and present things in a sort of He said She said kind of format. Also it doesn't hurt to make use of the tab key when you make a new paragraph. Doing so tends to make it look a bit less wall of texty.
4001712 I see, you make a valid point and I thank you for your advice. I'll need to give my current stuff a rework with your suggestions. Thanks for your advice.
4001728 no problem. a lot of writers forget things like that.
4001774 Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It means a lot.
4001787 No kidding? That's a little reassuring. This is rather new to me I must admit and the whole experience has been making me rather anxious.
4001810 What can I say? Its just how I felt he sounded, it was something me and my friend talked about and found rather amusing when we first saw him.
You sir should keep on writing. This story is good. There are a few grammatical errors, but other than that, pretty durn good
4001853 That's very kind of you to say and I appreciate that you think that. As for the grammar errors, yeah I still need to work on some of that, but hopefully it wasn't too bad for you. I find them easy to miss with the smaller text in writing format, if you point any out I'll be sure to get them.
Meh. I make 'em all da time. Not a single story that I have written-not that I really posted any either lol- has not one not two, but multiple grammatical errors through out it. So no need to worry too much about them (unless your ocd bout that kind of stuff lol). But I hope there' another update soon.
#mytabletissolaggy
4001909 My biggest concern with them is just having too many to the point that they're distracting. But I thank you for your kind words none the less, as for when I'll update next? Hopefully soon. We'll have to see.
Self-insert. Pass.
4003533 I'm glad you think so, hope you enjoyed it.
4019810 Fair enough man, not to everyone's taste.
4022477 Well it really says something for what you've done here because most comedy stories really fall flat on this site they either try to hard or are honetly just not funny at all, and yes I appreciate the originality you did this with I think my arrival fell flat but I didn't want to reuse that old "suddenly finds himself in the Everfree forest and fights a Manticore" arrival in Equestria.
4050708 Why thank you, its very appreciated that you've said such things. I must admit I've heard of this Manticore trope numerous times, is that really that used of a trope? I just find that odd really.
To be honest I thought about poking a bit of fun with it later, not necessarily with a Manticore but some other kind of animal, as the main character is a coward to things that could potentially do untold things to. Naturally so though of course.
I didn't want to put too much emphasise on how he got to Equestria as I wanted to leave that up in mystery, although it is something that shall be questioned it won't be the main focus, I intend to make the main focus of this to be some cutesy slice of life interactions between Daniel and various Ponies with some attempts at humour added in for good measure.
As for your own arrival, well at least you tried to be different with it and not rely on something so overused and unrealistic. It doesn't have to be something overly grand and epic, sometimes something simple can work as well.
4050984 Yeah I thank you for saying such things and yes I've seen the Manticore trope a number of times now, it's slightly spooky though my human's arrival is also an unexplained mystery so it's interesting to me that we bolth thought along the same lines, but I honestly like yours better than mine, of course I'm overly critical of myself sometimes, if you would take a look at my story Adaptation for me and tell me what you think I would like to hear your perspective on it especailly the arrival that's my stiffest part I think, but I may be wrong.
4051015 Hehe, well leaving it in mystery can lead to various things depending on how you want to handle it.
But huh, I never would have guessed on the Manticore trope being so used like that. But I digress on that I guess.
I thank you for your kind words and I appreciate that someone likes it, frankly I can be rather critical of my own work as well so I know how that feels, its difficult to judge your own work really as various things get in the way. I shall check out your story though and be sure to let you know what I think, hopefully I can be of some help.
4051023 Thank you so much, and you're right about that, I can see if I can be of help to you too, actually I do have one suggestion at the moment and that is to try and make your succeding chapters longer so that you can get more out of your story it's really hard to do that when you're under two thousend word every chapter I have yet to see a good story stay that way, it actually works at the start though.
4051054 You raise a good point and its something I have been working on with Chapter 3, I'm going about trying to make the chapters longer which in 3's case hasn't been too hard with the amount of stuff I've been adding to it. I thank you for your advice.