Just a bit of Cider

by Joyous Apple

Sanity may be challenged

A fucking pony. That is what I was turned into. Do I believe this is still happening? No, I don’t. Here I was, watching my TV, eating out of an oatmeal container, when the news turned on. It makes sense, really, I don’t know how I didn’t put it together. But, let’s rewind to how I got to finding out I was a fucking pony, shall we.

Time: 0910

“I just want to get something to eat!” I yelled in my fairly new, and rather annoying, feminine voice. “How hard can it be to just let me walk?!” And I was also having problems walking, standing, and all around, everything.

I looked back at my legs. All four of them. They were shaped like a dogs or horses legs. Telling by the looks of the hooves and tail, I must have been a horse, or something similar to it. the balls of my feet were now hooves, and I felt my heel behind my knee. While my legs went to this, my arms were pretty much the same, maybe just shifted a bit, and hands being replaced by hooves. Everything was feeling different, but normal. It hurt my head thinking about it.

“Just another thing to think about later...And this voice is getting fucking old!”

I eventually tried a technique I see dogs use. Stretch and push yourself up.
It worked remarkably well. I put my fore legs out in front of me, then started using my hind legs to shuffle forward, bringing my butt in the air. I tried not think about how I looked, especially in my new situation. Man, you have love how your mind can wander to weirdest things at times, because I was thinking about multiple things.

I eventually brought myself to a standing position. I was not used to my new center of gravity, being as it was now in the middle of my body exactly. My legs were out a bit, holding me up. I slowly started to get used to standing like this, every so often shifting my weight to a leg at a time. I did this for each leg, bouncing on it, for about another ten minutes.

After I got a sense of standing, I began to think about walking. It shouldn’t be any different from walking like a dog. Left hind leg first, right fore leg next. Then vise versa. We already walk like this as humans. We swing our arms as we walk, in opposite from leg. This is to keep our balance. So, applying the same to walking should work.

I began to start moving two legs at a time, no longer one leg at a time. I had to start moving in circles, as I had run out of space in my room. I eventually went from slow movement, to regular walking, to actually jogging. I smiled in victory, jogging for another few minutes. If life could give achievements, I would get one for not falling when walking. I was rather surprised I didn’t fall, I thought for sure I was going to do it at least-

*FWOOMP*

“Owwww…” Spoke too soon.

Time: 0945

“This is going to be fun.”

I was sitting in front of my door like a dog. I think I stopped caring after I fell on my face, the only thing I was thinking about was food. I couldn’t open the door without hands, and hooves were not going to help. I was running out of options. Out of frustration, I slammed my head on the door, eliciting hot sharp pain in my head.

“Way to go smart one…” I left my head leaning against the wall, hoping I wasn’t bleeding. There was nothing in the room to really close a wound, save for duct tape. Tape. Well, this was going to be interesting.

I sat back up and shook my head to help sway the dull throbbing. I put a hoof to my head and moved it around. I brought it down and saw no red. I looked over to my tool bag, and thankfully it was still open. I walked over to it and stuck my nose in. I had to hold my breath too, because my bag kinda stinks a little. I started to hum a bit, as I rummaged for the tape. My bag is full of tools that I used for work. I did contract work through my dad, who does work through telecommunications. Long story short, cell towers. I do the heavy, dirty and gritty work. He does supervision, and climbing. We worked in the rain a lot too, and, well, my bag smelled of mildew and mud. Lots of tools too, so a rust factor.

After rummaging a bit, using a nose to move tools around is not that easy, I spotted the tape. I bit down onto it, and pulled it out. It tasted like tape always did, and I know what duct tape tastes like because it is easier to just use your teeth to cut it. Saves time.

I took the tape over by the door, and after using a method gaining perches on the tape strip with my teeth, I finally had a thing of tape out, ready to be used. I put the tape on the handle, then, after making sure it sticks, I began to pull it down and then to the side to turn the handle. Thankfully it worked, and I get the door open. I took a step outside and I felt free, like I could do anything. Being locked in your room does that to you.

I take another step, and noting how everything from a new height looks so different, I turn left and start heading down the hallway. The kitchen was a matter of feet away, when I got a new feeling. I began to head back down the way I came and stopped in front of the bathroom door. Thankfully it was opened, as it always is. I however was not really happy about this. I had to pee, and this was not going to be fun. Why don’t we skip the inevitable and get this torturous scene out of the way. I did look at myself in the mirror. I was going to take a wild guess that I was a pony, mainly because of the body shape and tail. Definitely horse related at least. It was weird though. I was a skyblue color, and had a blue, mane I believe is what it’s called. I had a blonde tail too, but that was already established. I did, however have blue eyes. I was kinda happy about this, seeing how I always wanted eyes that weren’t brown. By the way, my eyes were huge. Another thing, that I believe I didn’t cover, was how I had two identical tattoos on my ass. Three apple cores. That was weird to see. On my left and right leg and butt area. That wasn’t weird at all, then again, this whole situation passed weird when I woke up.

I got the feeling of having to pee again, and it was bad. I looked over to the toilet in fear, and need. All I’m saying is that I tried not to look, and was pretty unsuccessful. Long story short, my man card never coming back. As I walked out of the bathroom with a blush more red than ‘Franks Red Hot’, I sighed in defeat and shook my head.

“This better be reversible…” I say under my breath.

I enter the kitchen and look at the fridge, then shake my head. I couldn’t cook anything like this. I head over to the cabinet and open it up. I looked around and found some cereal. Cheerios, honey nut ones at that. Good in milk or not. I knew what I was going to eat. Just behind the oatmeal container. Just had to be careful to knock it over and-

*Fwoopshhhhh*

“Life, you suck…” I looked at the mess of spilled oats from the container. I might as well put the lid on and put it back in, let the mess just sit there.

I leaned down and bit the lid to pick it up, and somehow dropped some oats into my mouth. Now let me say that I was not an oatmeal person, but those oats actually tasted pretty, likable. I put the lid down again and tentatively tried another oat from the container, not the floor. That would just be nasty. Again, the oats tasted pretty good.

“Maybe, I could make a meal out of oats…” I mentally smacked my self at this though. This was a container for Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Meal was in the title.

I picked up the container and went to the living room, and looked at my dog laying on the ground. She picked her head up at my approach, and yawned. She then put her head back down.

“Yeah, no strangers around, totally safe and all. Your master wasn’t abducted and turned into a pony.” She simply wagged her tail once to signify she heard me. I both love and hate my dog. “Yup, go back to sleep, no alarms going off in your head I’m sure.”

I got to the entertainment center and grabbed the remote in my mouth after putting the oatmeal container in the recliner. I got up on the recliner after, which was not easy since I fell twice. I pointed the remote towards the TV and pressed the power button with me nose. The screen turned on to the news station, and they were going on about more of Detroit’s problems. Go figure.

I didn’t feel like going through the hassle of changing the channels, so I decided to watch the news for once in my life.

‘So, as more news comes in from Detroit’s new mayor, we hear from Detroit’s Police departments issue on vehicles…’

The news went from the usual news casting room, to the chief of police. As he spoke, they would flash pictures of rusting police cruisers and other vehicle problems. I zoned out after they started going into the problems they may face. I was halfway done with my oats, when the screen changed to a new topic and the words drew me in.

‘In recent news, we look back into what the public is calling the ‘Pony Pandemic’. As we take another look into the press conference set up by both Lauren Faust and Tara strong, who apparently have been turned into what they are known for. Now, The two both work on a show that airs on the “Hub” called “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”.

‘Now, as you could tell from the title, the show is a little girls show, that does get a lot of fans from the adult populace...’

I was glued on the TV, letting the oatmeal container fall away from my mouth and spilling over into the couch. I was taking everything in at this point. They said ‘Pony’ pandemic. So, this could not just be me going crazy or just me being the only unlucky one.

‘Now, the both Lauren and Tara have been turned into ponies, two specific characters from the show. These characters are the princesses Celestia and Luna. Now, as you will see from this small recording from the conference, they address other ponies in the world. We will now play this recording.’

The camera cut to what is your typical press conference. There were two ponies standing on a stage, both having horns and wings. I looked down at my body and felt a little upset for not getting anything like wings or a horn, but I quickly drowned the feeling. I was not going to feel bad about these things, Seeing how I didn’t want to be a pony.

Looking back to the ponies, I saw one was a tall white mare, about four or five feet high, with a long rainbow-colored mane and tail that flowed as if in a wind. with long, elegant wings, a sharp spiraled horn, and a sun tattoo that happened to be in a place similar to the tattoos on me. The other was a midnight-blue mare, a foot less in height than the white one. Her mane flowed like the others as well, it looked like a night sky, the mane dotted with starlight and a vastness that topped the rainbow mane of the leading pony. Two dark-flecked wings hung at her sides, and a horn protruded from her forehead. On her flank was a crescent moon. I’m beginning to think ponies are really into tattoos.

The white one, who was visibly trying to ignore the stares of the humans in the room, trotted to the podium, placing her fore-hooves on the stand and bringing herself higher. "I-I…" she began shakily, something rather odd-sounding in her voice, "I know you must all be, uh, shocked about this. Believe me, I am too. But please don't doubt me when I say that I am really Lauren Faust, and she," a white hoof is pointed toward the blue one, "is really Tara Strong."

She took a huge breath before continuing. "The reason I called this conference today is not to tell the world about what happened to us. As you can see, it's obvious," she said, no humor in her voice. "I called for this because this is the only way to assure that I am heard by my target audience. You see…" Lauren stops to clear her throat. "There is one other out there who is like us. I don't know who, or where, but somewhere there is a person just like us. Changed. Into a pony."

“But this will not be the case for very long," Lauren continued, getting me even more into this. "Everyday, someone else is affected, and this will continue until–" She stopped herself, as if she didn't want to say it. "Yet, the most important thing I have to say yet is this, to those that find themselves changed." She looked up, coincidentally looking into the camera. "If any of you find yourself to be an Element of Harmony, I need your help. You need to come to New York" He stare at my eyes ended with her turning her head away, sighing. "No further comment." With that, she trotted out the door with Tara and someone else trailing behind. Then the feed cut out to the reporter again.

‘Now, people all over the world who are waking up as ponies have been trying to make their way to New York. There have been reports of host-’

I stopped paying attention after that. My brain was working on things. I was a pony, now a fact. I was also not the only one, and they all are heading to New York. Maybe the elements of loyalty, or whatever they were, are there and turning us back. Or working on it. If I wanted to be fixed, I needed to head to New York. If the mass of people turned pony are heading there, then I should too. The first place to be fixed. The only question now was, how was I going to get there….

Comments

[Whiskey Drops]

-looked how my story is going-......Yea.....I wouldn't mind falling onto my futon and pop up as a pegasi.....and reason why I have been on XBL lately is cause my wireless network adapter finally went out sorta...it has way less range on it...NOW TIME TO READ THIS STORY

[Whiskey Drops]

...........just wake up and he is a mare.......can some pony make a formula....for the pony thing......uhhhh.....y u no be smart and make a ponycalypse !!

AJ : Again Lowell who the hay are ya talkin to?

......No pony dear......

[burn this cringe]

3994968
That happens a lot to me too.

[Whiskey Drops]

3996475 What happens alot? o.x?

[burn this cringe]

3996495
The whole internet thing. It would be awesome though to become a pony.

[Whiskey Drops]

3996511 -He as hogtied with his muzzle tied closed- O.x!!!!

AJ : Sorry...mah husband can't answer ya right now..he is preoccupied

[Joyous Apple]

3998216

Mind-blown.

[ShadeJak]

Oh good, it made it through now! Congrats!

(does the story with Amethyst Star/Mare Do Well, you showed your chapters to me when they were on gdocs)

[kwr2k13]

4000574 Hi Joyous Apple!

I am the author of Landing Silver side up, which has Silver Spoon, as well as Apple Fritter (Apple Cider's sister), Babs Seed, as well as red delicious. Diamond Tiara will make her appearance in a future chapter (once those who are playing as the ponies work with our schedules).

[bluemoon1996]

I like
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m728tfNO5t1rsy50k.gif
I wish you luck in your own ponyearthverse fic my friend

[JustFin]

Well... as clearly shown by this story, one should pay attention to the news :3