A Rude Awakening

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Three things. I never pay attention to recent events, like news and such. I never really cared, as long as it didn’t affect me. Also, you tend to learn from your mistakes, because sometimes, paying attention to recent events tends to help you for when it does affect you. Sadly, I don’t pay attention, so of course it ended up affecting me…

Time 1910

“Tyler, behind the door. Do a left face and take down the squad inside. I’ll drop a flash and kill the lights. Stay low!” I commanded into my headset.

“Harris! They have C-4 all over the place! How am I supposed to get in?!” Asked my buddy Tyler. He doesn’t get that C-4 still needs to be detonated, and it would take too long for them to pull out the remote.

“Fine, I’ll do it. Get the lights and drop the flash!”

“You’re insane! We are the last two in the squad!”

“Sometimes risk helps in the end.” I smile to myself as I run inside the room. I drop a grenade and pull out my secondary. A pistol with a compensator, best for close quarters combat.

“Tango out!” Tyler yells into his mike, hurting my ears, but I am too focused on the task. The flash pops behind me, then the lights go out. All of a sudden, the enemy starts firing blindly into the now dark room.

I got behind their line easily, and they happened to kill Tyler. I ran up to the first guy I could see and took out my knife, slitting his throat, then pulling up his gun. I took out his mag and inserted it into my M416.

“Now we’re talking!” I shout. “Say hello-!” I start firing into the squad of 5 men. They were all still freaking out, thinking they killed their aggressor. I took out two of them, before having to sprint out of the room. I was in tunnel vision, and breathing was labored. All I could hear was my heartbeat and the sound of gunfire.

I ran into a room full of machines. I hear them shoot after me as I jump behind some sort of press machine. I check the ammo on both my guns. All I have left was 4 rounds in my AR and two mags left for the pistol.

I hear the footsteps of the guys enter the room, running around searching for me.

“Frag out!” Yells a one of the guys. Next thing I know, I see the grenade land next to my guy. without thinking and in out of pure instinct, I run into the main room, straight into them.

The guys seemed shocked, just as much as I was when I realized what I did. I pulled up my pistol and fired a whole mag into the first guy I saw. The other went to knife me. He grabbed me, but I punched him in the face, grabbed the knife in his hands and shoved it into his stomach, grabbing his dog tags after. I sat there after the exchange, his dog tags had scratches on them, indicating the number of people her has knifed. I heard the sound of a gun reload and a guy yell something in a different language. Next, I heard the shot that ended my life. Game over.

“Shit!” I yelled into the headset.

The screen shifted to the game lobby. Everyone was talking about the game and I tuned them out. I checked the skill on my guy. I went from number one in michigan to thirteen! I raged and turned off the game system, turning on the TV. I got a text alert on my phone as I flipped through the channels, looking at it, it revealed Tyler texted me. Opening it up, I read the message.

‘It ain’t that bad. Rich, that was total badass!’

I shook my head and smiled at my buddies antics. He knew what to say, but that comes from dealing with the same Senior Army Instructor. I typed out a reply.

‘Yeah, I’m pretty good aren’t I? Lol, anyway, see you tomorrow, inspection day and all’

I sent the message and tossed the phone aside. I began to flip through the channels again, being too lazy to pull up the guide. I wasn’t really paying attention to what flickered by, just looking for mindless TV to get lost in, then again, all of it was mindless.

‘...And here we see the majestic moose...’

‘...Come on Rachel...’

‘...So next time you happen to be in….’

‘...As the pony epidemic...’

‘...Come on Twilight...’

‘...Jerry! Jerry!...’

‘...The ponies head to...’

“There is nothing on but stupid pony shows. The hell?” I sighed and flipped over to Cartoon Network. I heard my phone chime again and looked at it.

‘Dude, do I know what yo mean. C ya. Congrats on Company Commander too! Rank of Captain too!’

I yawned and looked over at the time. It was 7:47. I had two whole hours to waste and I did not want to play games again. I got up and turned off the TV, not really wanting to watch it anymore. I walked into my room and turned on my amp, then grabbed my guitar.

I am not that good at guitar, I mean, I could hardly do the pentatonic scale. I still practiced. I could make a few riffs but never do a chord. There is one song called “What it’s like” by Everlast, that I learned to play all the way through though, and I began to play it as a warm up. The opening to the song was my favorite, really the only reason why I even learned the song. I played it for a little bit, then turned on the overdrive of my amp. It was a decent amp, nothing too big. I attempted to play some Metallica, then reverted to some AC/DC.

I then started on my own tunes, trying to perfect this one song/riff I was making for a friend, so she can put it into her music/dubstep stuff. She calls it ‘wubs’, and for some unknown reason, I despise that word, but all she does after I tell her, is say “Wub this”, and “This is so wubbing awesome!”. She even just went ten straight minutes texting me “WUUUUUUUUUUUUB”, on my phone. I almost blocked her.

As I was halfway through my newest riff, and it wasn’t that bad, my phone chimed again. I put the guitar down, sticking the pick in the strings to hold it there. A simple over, under, over method. I walked over to my phone and pressed the home button. Wouldn’t you know, it was my friend, miss ‘WUB’.

‘Hiya!’

Or maybe it wasn’t my wub friend. It was her sister, T-reese.

‘Heyo! How come you are on your sis phone?’

‘Dad took my phone away, long story’

‘Well that sucks, and your sis was nice enough to let you use her phone?’

‘Not really. She locked me in the closet, and I happened to have her phone.’

I sighed and rubbed my head. These two are always at their throats. My wub friend, her name is Jackie, locks her sister in the closet at least once a week. It’s sad that I’m no longer shocked by this.

‘Again. Why this time?’

‘She was on the PC with a friend and I came in and was typing to them on docs. lol, she got real mad! But now I have to pee.’

‘Well, I would text her and ask her to let you go, but you have her phone, so it can’t be too long til she tries to get it back. She can’t hunt conspiracies without it!’

‘lol, so what ya want to talk about?’

I shrugged and texted her a reply of I don’t know and we just started to chat about random stuff, mainly her sister for locking her in the closet. I happened to dose off sometime after eleven at night.

Time: 0501

I woke from my old buzzer alarm going off, and I hate waking up to my alarm. It’s not that I don’t like the sound of it. In fact, I prefer this old monstrosity over the alternative. The alternative being my dad waking me up with a trolley bell. He went to San Francisco and brought one home. That morning, he woke me up to it. Yeah, that was an experience, and my ears were ringing for an hour.

No, I hate waking up to anything other than myself. For some weird reason, if I am woken up, I get into a real pissy mood. Not only was I pissy about the alarm, but I remembered today was Inspection Day, so that meant that I had to get into uniform. I like a lot a things about the Army, and JROTC, but the uniform is not one of them. I am proud to say I wear it and treat it with respect, but it still sucked wearing it. Yup, the good old Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps, home of the pickle suit.

I slowly turned my head from my bed and looked at the time. 5:01. Luckily, the alarm went to auto snooze, it was starting to get annoying. How many hours of sleep did I get last night? Did I even sleep at all? I mean, seriously, I felt like complete dog crap. I'm used to waking up sore and aching because of Raiders; an Army Physical Training program run by JROTC. The military uses it to teach leadership skills, become better citizens, but primarily for pre-military training. I used to play football too, but that was not for me. So, I am not a stranger to waking up sore. This feeling however, hurt in places that I didn’t ever think would hurt.

I wonder if I did something to hurt myself during the exercises. Probably did an exercise wrong, that was most likely the reason for this. My legs never hurt around there before, and it did not feel good. My legs where also in a very uncomfortable position, and my fingers were numb. Probably because I fell asleep on my arms again. With a sigh, I put my arms down on my bed in a pushup position, still trying to work with numb fingers, and slowly tried to get up. I immediately stopped and fell from not having enough support. My arms felt completely foreign to me, like, they were on wrong, but they felt fine in the same way.

I began to wonder if I did more to my body during Raiders yesterday than I thought, because I’m pretty sure my arm did not go like that. I began to move my legs too, and they seemed to be feeling different as well. Sore, but not hurt, bending in very weird ways. It didn’t hurt either. I may have spent two whole minutes bending my legs and arms, the whole time keeping my eyes closed, not really wanting to wake up in all honesty.

I would probably be freaking out about my legs if they were in pain, but this early in the morning, I really didn’t care. My legs weren’t hurting me and I needed to get dressed for today. It was my first day as Company Commander, plus a new rank. But first, I needed to get feeling in my fingers again. I sighed and realized something. I noticed something as I lay there, and that was the fact that my blankets had gotten somewhat heavier and my pillow got bigger in the middle of the night. Another thing I noticed, is that I was feeling the pillow and blankets differently, like, I had a sheet over my body, but there wasn’t one at the same time. I couldn’t explain it, but the covers were a lot more comfortable than before. These changes can be pushed to the side to be looked at later. I had a half hour to wash up, shave, dress and eat before heading out to wait for the bus. And a lot of good that would do with numb fingers!

I threw my arms out and started try and move my numb fingers. You know how you still have control over numb limbs, but it is very slow or hard to do? Well, I fell asleep on my arms a lot, so I got some good control over numb fingers. Score one for me! I rotated my arms and wiggled my numb fingers to get the blood flowing. It was odd though. I found it weird that I did not have pins and needles. Whatever it was, as long as I get my fingers back from the numb soon, it would nice because, tying a tie was hard as it is.

I was not getting the feeling back in my fingers. This got frustrating after a minute. I just gave up and used my arms to throw the cover off, somehow getting a sheet or something on my head, or at least I think it was a sheet. My eyes were still closed, still not wanting to wake up, even if I had numb fingers. I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and sat there for a second, but sitting down like that felt weird for the first time in 12 years, painful even. It hurt my stomach, and I was having a somewhat hard time breathing, almost as if something was pushing my stomach into my lungs. Did I mention how much I like to breathe? Yeah, I like it more than water. You need both to live you know? Small fact.

So, when I swung my legs over and felt uncomfortable and had a hard time breathing, my eyes shot open and I tried to stand up to get some air. Funny thing is, I did not stand up. I know this because when you stand up, you usually do the up part, not the falling part. Hey face, this is ground, it likes you a lot, you should probably kiss it.

My fan decided to play catcher with my body as well. Next thing I know, I am groaning on the ground, choking back the colorful curses that would make my mother smack me out of disgust, and was hating my life so far. Oh, and my fan was now on the ground, still on. Well, the fan was fine, we’re good. I am in pain, but the fan is good, things will be alright.

I felt a rustling all over my body every time the fan would rotate on the floor towards me. It ran straight through my clothes. Actually, I wasn’t wearing clothes, I don’t wear pajamas, and whatever was on me did not feel like pajamas. Whatever it was though, it felt normal and like it should be there. But, when the fan passed my body and towards my head, my hair would actually flow a little in the wind. My hair was actually long and was actually flowing in the wind. I tried to process this. I did not have long hair. I’m a guy, and a very manly guy at that, or so I’m told. Anyways, I kept my hair short, even before I entered JROTC, which was a small version of the Army. When I joined that, I got even shorter haircuts. Barry, my barber knew my haircut every time without asking, a one on the sides, high and tight. This was not how my hair was currently. Had I not been so tired and had my eyes closed in pain, I probably would have be looking at my hair in a confused manner.

I began thinking on how well my morning was going so far, wondering what was next for such a great start to my day. I reached my arm over, still not feeling my fingers, and kept searching for the off button of my fan. I brought my arm down like eight times! I still didn’t get it. I shuffled over a bit more while moving my arm around, Knocking something over, which was surprising, seeing how I knocked the fan over, so it should have brought everything else down with it. I leaned closer again.

Just a bit more. Come on! It should be-Ah ha! Got it!

With the fan off, I turned my head so my face was no longer on the ground and looked to my left. My view was obstructed by a very long mass of blonde hair. Two things to say. I don’t have long hair, and I am far from blonde. I have dark brown hair. This, is where I started to freak out. I had long hair, and now it was a different color. Was it fake hair?! Extensions of some kind?! I have no idea on how hair extensions work or feel. My sister would definitely be one to dye my hair while I sleep, but, extend it?! She was only 10! She could only do so much without help. My mom did help her paint my dad’s fingers when he was asleep once though…

I brought up a hand to grab the hair and try to pull it off, and break the extensions. I had to try something! Logical thinking rarely works in a morning panic attack! I had inspection today too! To say I was thinking straight, would be like saying that animals talk.I wasn’t getting a grip on the hair. I still had numb fingers. It was not making any sense to me.

“What the heck?!” I yell in frustration, only to stop at the sound of my voice. It was definitely not my voice. I was frozen in place, looking at my arm held out in front of me, not registering anything. My voice sounded like a girls first of all, but I was more focused on my arm. As I lay there on the ground, staring uncomprehendingly at the limb in front of me, I began to freak out in my head.

I had no hand, let alone fingers. What I mistook for pajamas, was nothing but fur. Where my hand would be, sat nothing but a hoof, or at least I thought it was a hoof. I had blue fur on my arm, hoof in place of my hand.

Oh God, please just be one arm!

I brought up my other arm, only to see it to be in the same condition.

What the hell is going on?!

I look at my hair hanging off of my head, and everything starts coming together. I sat there thinking over everything. My arms were replaced by these things and my hair was long and blonde. I look down at the rest of my body. It was shaped like a dog almost. My legs were in the same condition as my arms. My body was covered in the same colored fur as well. I even had a tail, blonde, like my hair. I begin to think to myself. I try to stand up again, now more focused on my body. I stick an arm, or leg out and try to get myself into a standing position. The second I lifted my legs, er, my back legs, I fell.

“What is going on?” I ask quietly, being reminded of my now girly voice.

Hold on. Blonde hair, that is long, and blue fur. No...no no no no no.

I crane my head down again and look at my back legs. Getting a better look of them. The knees were backwards. Everything was changed, but didn’t hurt. I felt different, but normal. But, there was a feeling that I was missing something. Something really important. I take a deep breath, steady myself and slowly lift my left leg. I found what that missing feeling was. My heart began to pound harder, as if it were to burst out of my chest.

I was not me anymore. I had changed. Maybe it was a dream, or something. How could this of happened? I was some sort of animal. An animal that had a girl voice, mainly because it was female.

The thought of it made me shiver. I let my head hit the ground and closed my eyes. I was not one to know how to show emotions at times. I would push them aside or just forget them. People would call that bottling up. Well, I did just that. It was hard to do, every few seconds, my mind would go to what was now me, what made me no longer male, a fact that I was proud of.

It’s just a dream. Yeah, just a dream. It has to be.

I never had such a vivid dream though, but then again, I hardly ever get dreams. I would get them once a month or so, and they would be so short, that it was like walking down the street. They would be cloudy. But this had to be a dream. This could not be done.

I took a deep and shaky breath. It was just a dream somehow. The mind is a powerful thing. I just laid there on the ground. Maybe if just closed my eyes and just wait, I would wake up. So, I did just that.

Time: 0905

The shake of the house woke me up from my sleep. I sighed in relief, knowing full well it was all a dream. That was probably dad leaving for work, closing the front door a little harder than normal on his leave. I yawned, feeling a little sore on my side, in fact, my whole side was on something hard.

Did I fall asleep on the ground? the last time I was on the ground was… in… that …. dream?

I open my eyes to see that I was in fact on the ground, and that what I thought was a dream, was nowhere near a dream at all. I lay there, staring wide eyed at my arms, that were now legs. I was supposed to wake up from this, not fall asleep. This was supposed to be the dream. It could have been a dream within a dream, but that would be impossible for me. This is not a dream.

It hit me hard. I was changed. I was no longer Richard. another thing hit me harder. I was no longer the same species. There was one other thing above all that did it for me though. I lost my manhood. I was changed, and this was no dream. I just laid there, not really thinking. I had no idea on what to do. I was told what to do by my body though. My stomach gurgled loudly, breaking me from my zoned out mood.

I tried to ignore it. There was no real reason for me to move. I don’t know what I was feeling. I was angry. Angry at something, but I didn’t know what to be angry at. I was changed. What changed me, would be what I would put all my anger into, but I could not, because I had no idea what did this to me. I was sad too. I was sad because I was changed. I lost what was me. I was no longer what I worked so hard on. I worked out a lot, just to lose that. The irony of it all. I spent so much time on my health and looks, just to have it all disappear in a night. I was confused. I had no idea what was going on. Why was I no longer a male, no longer a human? Who or what did this? The only way for me to describe this would to say that I was lost, and feeling the effects of loss.

My stomach gurgled again, making me wince. Whatever I was now, I needed to eat. I usually skip breakfast, never was hungry in the morning, but now I was starving. I shook the thoughts of what I was thinking out of my head. I could be angry and sad later. I needed to eat. I shook my head and sighed, which still reminded me of the sad fact, I was no longer a dude.

Well, I had to eat, and that involved getting up. Now that I think about, I also had to walk and open my door. Doors of course, were going to become one of my greatest enemies…

Sanity may be challenged

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A fucking pony. That is what I was turned into. Do I believe this is still happening? No, I don’t. Here I was, watching my TV, eating out of an oatmeal container, when the news turned on. It makes sense, really, I don’t know how I didn’t put it together. But, let’s rewind to how I got to finding out I was a fucking pony, shall we.

Time: 0910

“I just want to get something to eat!” I yelled in my fairly new, and rather annoying, feminine voice. “How hard can it be to just let me walk?!” And I was also having problems walking, standing, and all around, everything.

I looked back at my legs. All four of them. They were shaped like a dogs or horses legs. Telling by the looks of the hooves and tail, I must have been a horse, or something similar to it. the balls of my feet were now hooves, and I felt my heel behind my knee. While my legs went to this, my arms were pretty much the same, maybe just shifted a bit, and hands being replaced by hooves. Everything was feeling different, but normal. It hurt my head thinking about it.

“Just another thing to think about later...And this voice is getting fucking old!”

I eventually tried a technique I see dogs use. Stretch and push yourself up.
It worked remarkably well. I put my fore legs out in front of me, then started using my hind legs to shuffle forward, bringing my butt in the air. I tried not think about how I looked, especially in my new situation. Man, you have love how your mind can wander to weirdest things at times, because I was thinking about multiple things.

I eventually brought myself to a standing position. I was not used to my new center of gravity, being as it was now in the middle of my body exactly. My legs were out a bit, holding me up. I slowly started to get used to standing like this, every so often shifting my weight to a leg at a time. I did this for each leg, bouncing on it, for about another ten minutes.

After I got a sense of standing, I began to think about walking. It shouldn’t be any different from walking like a dog. Left hind leg first, right fore leg next. Then vise versa. We already walk like this as humans. We swing our arms as we walk, in opposite from leg. This is to keep our balance. So, applying the same to walking should work.

I began to start moving two legs at a time, no longer one leg at a time. I had to start moving in circles, as I had run out of space in my room. I eventually went from slow movement, to regular walking, to actually jogging. I smiled in victory, jogging for another few minutes. If life could give achievements, I would get one for not falling when walking. I was rather surprised I didn’t fall, I thought for sure I was going to do it at least-

*FWOOMP*

“Owwww…” Spoke too soon.

Time: 0945

“This is going to be fun.”

I was sitting in front of my door like a dog. I think I stopped caring after I fell on my face, the only thing I was thinking about was food. I couldn’t open the door without hands, and hooves were not going to help. I was running out of options. Out of frustration, I slammed my head on the door, eliciting hot sharp pain in my head.

“Way to go smart one…” I left my head leaning against the wall, hoping I wasn’t bleeding. There was nothing in the room to really close a wound, save for duct tape. Tape. Well, this was going to be interesting.

I sat back up and shook my head to help sway the dull throbbing. I put a hoof to my head and moved it around. I brought it down and saw no red. I looked over to my tool bag, and thankfully it was still open. I walked over to it and stuck my nose in. I had to hold my breath too, because my bag kinda stinks a little. I started to hum a bit, as I rummaged for the tape. My bag is full of tools that I used for work. I did contract work through my dad, who does work through telecommunications. Long story short, cell towers. I do the heavy, dirty and gritty work. He does supervision, and climbing. We worked in the rain a lot too, and, well, my bag smelled of mildew and mud. Lots of tools too, so a rust factor.

After rummaging a bit, using a nose to move tools around is not that easy, I spotted the tape. I bit down onto it, and pulled it out. It tasted like tape always did, and I know what duct tape tastes like because it is easier to just use your teeth to cut it. Saves time.

I took the tape over by the door, and after using a method gaining perches on the tape strip with my teeth, I finally had a thing of tape out, ready to be used. I put the tape on the handle, then, after making sure it sticks, I began to pull it down and then to the side to turn the handle. Thankfully it worked, and I get the door open. I took a step outside and I felt free, like I could do anything. Being locked in your room does that to you.

I take another step, and noting how everything from a new height looks so different, I turn left and start heading down the hallway. The kitchen was a matter of feet away, when I got a new feeling. I began to head back down the way I came and stopped in front of the bathroom door. Thankfully it was opened, as it always is. I however was not really happy about this. I had to pee, and this was not going to be fun. Why don’t we skip the inevitable and get this torturous scene out of the way. I did look at myself in the mirror. I was going to take a wild guess that I was a pony, mainly because of the body shape and tail. Definitely horse related at least. It was weird though. I was a skyblue color, and had a blue, mane I believe is what it’s called. I had a blonde tail too, but that was already established. I did, however have blue eyes. I was kinda happy about this, seeing how I always wanted eyes that weren’t brown. By the way, my eyes were huge. Another thing, that I believe I didn’t cover, was how I had two identical tattoos on my ass. Three apple cores. That was weird to see. On my left and right leg and butt area. That wasn’t weird at all, then again, this whole situation passed weird when I woke up.

I got the feeling of having to pee again, and it was bad. I looked over to the toilet in fear, and need. All I’m saying is that I tried not to look, and was pretty unsuccessful. Long story short, my man card never coming back. As I walked out of the bathroom with a blush more red than ‘Franks Red Hot’, I sighed in defeat and shook my head.

“This better be reversible…” I say under my breath.

I enter the kitchen and look at the fridge, then shake my head. I couldn’t cook anything like this. I head over to the cabinet and open it up. I looked around and found some cereal. Cheerios, honey nut ones at that. Good in milk or not. I knew what I was going to eat. Just behind the oatmeal container. Just had to be careful to knock it over and-

*Fwoopshhhhh*

“Life, you suck…” I looked at the mess of spilled oats from the container. I might as well put the lid on and put it back in, let the mess just sit there.

I leaned down and bit the lid to pick it up, and somehow dropped some oats into my mouth. Now let me say that I was not an oatmeal person, but those oats actually tasted pretty, likable. I put the lid down again and tentatively tried another oat from the container, not the floor. That would just be nasty. Again, the oats tasted pretty good.

“Maybe, I could make a meal out of oats…” I mentally smacked my self at this though. This was a container for Oatmeal. Oatmeal. Meal was in the title.

I picked up the container and went to the living room, and looked at my dog laying on the ground. She picked her head up at my approach, and yawned. She then put her head back down.

“Yeah, no strangers around, totally safe and all. Your master wasn’t abducted and turned into a pony.” She simply wagged her tail once to signify she heard me. I both love and hate my dog. “Yup, go back to sleep, no alarms going off in your head I’m sure.”

I got to the entertainment center and grabbed the remote in my mouth after putting the oatmeal container in the recliner. I got up on the recliner after, which was not easy since I fell twice. I pointed the remote towards the TV and pressed the power button with me nose. The screen turned on to the news station, and they were going on about more of Detroit’s problems. Go figure.

I didn’t feel like going through the hassle of changing the channels, so I decided to watch the news for once in my life.

‘So, as more news comes in from Detroit’s new mayor, we hear from Detroit’s Police departments issue on vehicles…’

The news went from the usual news casting room, to the chief of police. As he spoke, they would flash pictures of rusting police cruisers and other vehicle problems. I zoned out after they started going into the problems they may face. I was halfway done with my oats, when the screen changed to a new topic and the words drew me in.

‘In recent news, we look back into what the public is calling the ‘Pony Pandemic’. As we take another look into the press conference set up by both Lauren Faust and Tara strong, who apparently have been turned into what they are known for. Now, The two both work on a show that airs on the “Hub” called “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”.

‘Now, as you could tell from the title, the show is a little girls show, that does get a lot of fans from the adult populace...’

I was glued on the TV, letting the oatmeal container fall away from my mouth and spilling over into the couch. I was taking everything in at this point. They said ‘Pony’ pandemic. So, this could not just be me going crazy or just me being the only unlucky one.

‘Now, the both Lauren and Tara have been turned into ponies, two specific characters from the show. These characters are the princesses Celestia and Luna. Now, as you will see from this small recording from the conference, they address other ponies in the world. We will now play this recording.’

The camera cut to what is your typical press conference. There were two ponies standing on a stage, both having horns and wings. I looked down at my body and felt a little upset for not getting anything like wings or a horn, but I quickly drowned the feeling. I was not going to feel bad about these things, Seeing how I didn’t want to be a pony.

Looking back to the ponies, I saw one was a tall white mare, about four or five feet high, with a long rainbow-colored mane and tail that flowed as if in a wind. with long, elegant wings, a sharp spiraled horn, and a sun tattoo that happened to be in a place similar to the tattoos on me. The other was a midnight-blue mare, a foot less in height than the white one. Her mane flowed like the others as well, it looked like a night sky, the mane dotted with starlight and a vastness that topped the rainbow mane of the leading pony. Two dark-flecked wings hung at her sides, and a horn protruded from her forehead. On her flank was a crescent moon. I’m beginning to think ponies are really into tattoos.

The white one, who was visibly trying to ignore the stares of the humans in the room, trotted to the podium, placing her fore-hooves on the stand and bringing herself higher. "I-I…" she began shakily, something rather odd-sounding in her voice, "I know you must all be, uh, shocked about this. Believe me, I am too. But please don't doubt me when I say that I am really Lauren Faust, and she," a white hoof is pointed toward the blue one, "is really Tara Strong."

She took a huge breath before continuing. "The reason I called this conference today is not to tell the world about what happened to us. As you can see, it's obvious," she said, no humor in her voice. "I called for this because this is the only way to assure that I am heard by my target audience. You see…" Lauren stops to clear her throat. "There is one other out there who is like us. I don't know who, or where, but somewhere there is a person just like us. Changed. Into a pony."

“But this will not be the case for very long," Lauren continued, getting me even more into this. "Everyday, someone else is affected, and this will continue until–" She stopped herself, as if she didn't want to say it. "Yet, the most important thing I have to say yet is this, to those that find themselves changed." She looked up, coincidentally looking into the camera. "If any of you find yourself to be an Element of Harmony, I need your help. You need to come to New York" He stare at my eyes ended with her turning her head away, sighing. "No further comment." With that, she trotted out the door with Tara and someone else trailing behind. Then the feed cut out to the reporter again.

‘Now, people all over the world who are waking up as ponies have been trying to make their way to New York. There have been reports of host-’

I stopped paying attention after that. My brain was working on things. I was a pony, now a fact. I was also not the only one, and they all are heading to New York. Maybe the elements of loyalty, or whatever they were, are there and turning us back. Or working on it. If I wanted to be fixed, I needed to head to New York. If the mass of people turned pony are heading there, then I should too. The first place to be fixed. The only question now was, how was I going to get there….

A Simple Call

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How to begin a journey? Well, sometimes you start a journey without knowing, and sometimes, you start a journey unwillingly. But, in the end, the journey will always have an end. That end will be either the beginning of another journey, or the end of all. It is up to you, how you complete that journey. So be careful on it, for any choice you make, you could end your journey, for good…

Time: ????

I was trying to use my phone, drawing from memory what my friends number was. After a few mistakes of accidently trying to facetime, I got the number pad up. I quickly tried to type the number up. Remind me to sue Apple for their touch screen phones that definitely don’t work with hooves. I had to use the pen apple sells. Those things are expensive, but helpful. Putting the number in, I called. After about the third ring, someone picked up.

“‘Ello?” What sounded like a girl answered. I blinked in surprise. This was definitely not my friend Rachel. Maybe someone answered for her?

“Hi, can I speak to Rachel please?”

“Uh...sure. One sec.” The voice was replaced by what definitely sounded like a girl’s voice “Hello?”

Either phones really distorted your voice that bad, or she was sick.

“Rachel, help! I’ve been turned into a pony! A pony from a TV show! I’m going crazy!” I totally sounded calm by the way. A long silence could be heard. Well, minus the laughter coming from the side.

“Oookay. Well…” A loud click could be heard (whatever happens when you hang up).

I sat there with my mouth open, phone still on my ground. I was just laughed at for being crazy, by Rachel. Well, at least she didn’t know it was me….Maybe that was my problem. Try calling again? Yeah, lets do that. I went to recent calls and called.

“Hello?” the weird girl answered again. It sounded a little hurt, like something happened in the meantime.

Now, I try for calm, the right way. Maybe. “Hi, it’s me, crazy lady here. Yeah, it’s me Rich, and I would like to speak to Rachel again. Please?” Almost forgot to be polite. Almost.

“...don’t know who you are, but okay.” the weird voice vanished again before the girl’s voice returned “Hello?”

“Rachel. It is me Rich. I have been turned into a fucking pony. Please help. Don’t believe me, facetime me or something.” Calm. Nailed it.

“Uh...okay. How about you facetime me?”

“Okay, give me five seconds!” I ended the call and went to facetime on my Iphone. Apple’s equivalent of skype, basically. I had to prop my phone up as well, then click the call button. Now I wait.

The call was picked up by a girl of what looks like a mix of black, hispanic and Cape Verdean. She flicked two of her braids aside “Hello?”

That was not my Rachel. My Rachel looked like a pale girl with black curly hair. This Rachel did not look anything like that. “I think I have the wrong Rachel, but hey. I am a Pony!”

She blinked, looking a little surprised “Wow. I see…” She looked to the side. “Bro! I need your help! You’re the brony, this is your field!”

I sat there thinking this over. Some help is better than none. A brony? One of those guys who watches the girls show? Take what you get, take what you get. The phone moved, showing a forest for a second before a girl, who Middle Eastern, with sunglasses. “Hello?”

“Hi….Bro?” ‘Bro’ for a girls name? No judgement.

“...wow.” she blinked. “You’re actually a pony.”

“Not helping my situation. You watch the show, right.. If I remember correctly, that is what ‘Brony’ means. Can you help me out?” I wanted to keep this brief, so I may have been speaking pretty fast. It may have came out as, “Not helping! You! Brony! Help?!” or around that

“Uh...okay. Yeah, I’m a brony.” I tried calming down by pressing my unwanted hoof against my head, trying to think of what to ask as well.

“Okay, I’ll keep this short, and I’m not trying to sound like an ass, but yeah, this is not what I want.” I shook a hoof up and down, indicating my body. “You should know what to do, right? Should I go to New York?”

“Well...hmm...you’re talking about that press conference thing? Rachel, stop making faces!” A snort can be heard from offscreen. “I’ll take away your chocolate! I mean it!” Grumbling can be heard before stopping. “Anyway, I thought that was just a publicity stunt.” I stared at her for a second. I heard the question, but what just happened just now was not what I was expecting to hear.

“…..you okay?”

“....Did you just threaten her with chocolate?”

“...yes. Now...wait, you were a guy, right? Or is Rich a girl name?”

“You should know that, you are a girl….And no… ‘Rich’ is short for something else...long story...involves money. My name is Cheyenne.” Man am I glad that I am used to bullshitting my way through a lot of stuff. That may have been choppy, but I’m pretty sure I pulled it off. She may be confused, but will most likely accept it. Or just learn not to question it. She quickly frowned.

“I am not a girl.”

“Shit! I’m sorry!” Curse my luck.

“Its...okay. Anyway, how can I help?”Help? What first? Well, lets try with destination, and who I am.

“Should I go to New York? And, since you watch the show, Who am I?”

“Well, I would recommend going.” He looks as if in thought for a second. “I don’t recognize you, though. What’s your butt tattoo?”

“My butt tattoo is of three apple cores.” I hoped I was saying the right thing.

“Hmm...Apple family, then…” Apple family?

“Apple family?” I asked, confused.

“A family of apple growers that usually have cutie marks related to apples. And names related to apples.”

“So my name may be Apple Core? Well, I am sadly not that surprised. Michigan is known for it’s apples and cherries.” I look to the side, thinking and putting things together. Apples and Michigan. Could there be more Apple family members here then?

“Cherries?” He smiled. “Well, your name might be Apple Core, but that would be weird, even for a pony.”

“I don’t know what a pony name is, I just guessed.” I said, all the while scrunching up my face in confused explanation.

“Well, one of the family members is called ‘Granny Smith.’”

“These are stupid names…” I said out of frustration, and stupidity of the names. Seriously, who names their child that?

“You’re telling me. I always thought it was a nickname, because she’s old. Then there’s ones like ‘Rainbow Dash’.”

“Is there a pony named Golden Delicious? Honey Crisp? I love honeycrisp apples! Think I will meet them!?” Okay, I love apples as much as the next guy, but this is a bit overboard. I quickly shake my head to clear it, and blink a few times. “Sorry about that. I guess my ADHD is acting up again...after a few years of controlling it….” I mutter the last part under my breath.

He chuckled. “Its okay, I deal with a hyperactive person everyday. Hmm...there might be one for the first name, but I don’t know about the second.” I tried my best not to look disappointed for some reason. I don’t know why I was disappointed, but I was.

“Okay. So, head to New York? Find out who I am somehow?”

“Check and check.” I sigh and shake my head.

“Great. Now I have to find a way to New York…”

“You could try finding other ponies and traveling together.”

“Yeah, I could try that. But I have to find some first.”

“Well, try looking online.”

“Definitely. Go to the biggest helper of rapists and kidnappers for help and transport.” Sarcasm, thy name is Richard.

“...well, do you want to walk around looking for them?”

“I can try calling my Rachel again, like I originally planned…”

“I’m guessing you didn’t want to call my Rachel.”

“Not really.”

He shrugged “Well, it happened, for better or for worse.”

“Right….Well. Nice chatting I guess…” I started to think, which may have looked like I zoned out, which I probably did, because I didn’t hear them say something again until they were shouting something

“PONY! YOU’RE TWITCHING!”

I looked up, confused. “What?”

“...you were twitching and zoned out.”

“I twitch?”

The guy nodded. “Yup, you did.”

“Wow...okay…”

He just shrugs “As long as you’re okay.”

“Well, thanks for the help. I’m going to try calling my Rachel now.”

He smiles and nods “No problem. If you ever need help, I’m only a call away.”

“Really? I mean...Thanks. Goodbye.”

He smiles “Bye! And goodluck.” He hung up on me and left me staring at my phone. Well what the hell was I supposed to do now? I didn’t have Rachels number like I thought. I blinked a few times.

“But I do know where she lives…”

Confusing, thy name is... Apple Cider?

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One factor most Michiganders like to live with. We know cold. Michigan is the place where you can drive south to canada. We are known for our apples and breweries. That being said, I hate it here. Why do I live in a place where the air hurts my face? I don’t like it when the air hurts my face…

Time: 1020
Destination: Somewhere near my high school, Westland Michigan.

One thing I can agree with, is that having fur covering my body really helps with the cool air of fall. But being michigan, it already snowed twice and I hated it. Putting on a jacket as a pony, by any means, is not easy. Putting on a backpack? Slightly easier, when the bag is empty. Put a bunch of essentials and non-essentials in it, and I swear, I was probably half pony, half donkey. Or was I just being a jackass?

Now here I was, walking outside in the broad daylight with my hood up to cover my head. I was probably going to get caught, but knowing how things run anywhere, people may just assume I’m a dog, or something. In the end, I am not their problem, so why would they care? They were too busy trying to make money or get to where they were going. People. Couldn’t be bothered unless it meant helping themselves. I loved it.

I was used to walking around barefoot, but that was because I liked the feel of the ground on my feet. Now, it was just a trippy feeling. Walking without shoes on, but with hoof like thingies that made it feel like I was wearing reverse heals? Yeah. Made about as much sense as it felt, sue me. Actually, could you sue me as a pony? What if I just got away with everything I did! or… I could be put down like an animal. The death penalty just became more realistic for me… and a lot more easier to achieve. Anyway. So far, not noticed. Just gotta keep an eye out for animal control.

I was about halfway to her house when a vital error occurred to me. She was probably still in school. No, that wouldn’t be right. School was cancelled. I couldn’t really remember. With a mental shrug, I kept pushing on to her house. I looked at the world around me, bored. I watched carelessly as cars drove by and people pointed at me, murmuring about something. I guess people do notice, but I still proved to be correct about them doing much else about me. What a lazy world.

It didn’t take much longer to get to her house, being distracted by cars and the attention and all. Don’t ask me how I remembered where she lived. Let’s just say I have a good memory of things… Nope, you are already mentally shipping.

I bit my lip as I looked at her door. There was no car in her driveway, which didn’t surprise me. She said her parents were always gone. I went to knock on the door. The second I did, however, the door started to bark at me.

“Ahhhhhh!” I fell back on my butt… plot, whatever, and scooted back really fast. It took me a second to realize it wasn’t the door that barked at me, but her dog. Which of course, was a puny chihuahua. Who would keep such a rat?!

“Scared the schiz out of me… agh.” I stood up, heading back to the door again. I knocked again, listening to another ferocious and deadly onslaught of threats come from a furry football. Still no answer. I groaned and turned around to sit on her porch. I guess I could wait for her to get home. Taking a nap could probably help me out right now the most. After all, the world was pretty lazy. The furry football kept barking up a storm.

“Oh shut up! Or I’ll get a bat and see how far I could hit a home run.” I grunted. “Annoying animal…” I laid down on the cold cement, sighing. Another neat thing about fur or whatever is was, it helped with letting you lay down wherever. The cold did not exactly kill me. Then again, I was wearing a jacket. “This is going to take me forever to pass out.” I closed my eyes and listened to the world as I tried to sleep.

***

I shivered and curled up into a ball. “Oh my god… why is it so fricking cold?!” I scratched my head, sitting up. I wanted to get some blankets. It was too fricking cold to sleep. I felt around with my hands for my backpack. “Ugh… where is my bag. I know I brought it with me.” Feeling around a bit more, I realized my stupidity. I shot my eyes open and looked down at my hands, legs and everything. I even felt my manhood again! I jumped up and shouted with glee.

“Yes! Yes! Fuck yeah! Hahaha!” I didn’t care how crazy I looked. I wasn’t a pony. And I had my junk again. You don’t do that to a man. Although, it would be best to make sure how long I was asleep. I took a look around, only to make a very confused face that could only be matched by Jim Carrey. Seriously, that guy was a pro at facial expressions. But imagine my shock when you go from sitting on a porch to just standing in the middle of a city. A very vacant city. I shivered. I hated ghost towns. Those were the things of my nightmares.

“Well, I believe at this point, you can turn me into the cuckoo nest. Talking to myself and having delusions.” Looking down, I seen a trail of horseshoe prints. Blinking to myself, I decided to follow them. Hey, if I was delusional, I may as well play into it. May be interesting. Get the whole experience, you know?

After a bit, the tracks lead out of the city and cut off at the grass of a field. I kept going though, because looking out, I could see the creature that made the tracks. It was sitting by the only tree out here. I knew exactly who it was. I mean, not the name, but I knew that body. Even from this distance, I could see the body that I was walking around with for the past few hours.

Once I was close enough, I called out, trying to get her attention. I did this so I didn’t startle her too much. Once I said her name, her ears perked up and she bolted up. She then turned around and looked at me.

“Monster!” She looked left and right, looking for a place to hide, she then ran behind the tree. I rolled my eyes but decided to play along if it were a real situation.

“Hey, look. I am no monster.” I said this in a warm, soothing tone as I continued to slowly approach her.

“Yes you are! You. You’re a body snatcher. Like a changeling! But you took over my body!” I blinked at her.

“What the hell is a changeling?” What the hell was a changeling?! The hell? She peaked from behind her tree and looked at me fearfully. I knew I wasn’t going to get through to her, so I just shrugged my shoulders and sat. “Whatever. And I didn’t take your body, by the way. I hope you would like to know, I am trying to get out of your body. I like having a dick. So there’s that.” I continued to sit there as she stared at me. “Don’t believe me? I can understand that, cus you’re scared. But seeing how this is a delusion, I will just play with it and say, sooner or later, you will get your body back to your self to do whatever the hell you like.” I looked down at myself, a bit of a temper growing. “I’m not even in your body right now, anyway.”

She continued to stare at me from behind her tree. I threw my arms up in and air and laid on my back. Once I did, I noticed something funny about the sky. It was pure white. It kinda hurt to look at. “Even the sky is messed up…” I heard some shuffling around, but I didn’t bother to look up. I heard her stop not too far away from me, but not anywhere close either.

“You… you didn’t take my body?” She asked, somewhat skeptically with a hint of fear.

“No. Trust me, if this is just a delusion and I am still in your body, I would probably do anything to get it back to you. Just so I could have my body back.” I sighed and rub my face. “Hey, look, sorry about coming across as a jackass, but I just don’t like my situation. I’m pretty sure you are a cool horse and all, but you just caught me in a off mood today.”

“I’m a pony… and you don’t look like a donkey.” I blinked at that statement.

“Let me rephrase that. Sorry for coming across as a jerk.”

“It’s okay, I mean, if what you said is true, then you must be scared like me…” Her attitude toward me changed faster than a bullet. I was very confused. Usually people tend to stay skeptical for their whole life in situations, but here she just tossed it out like last weeks newspaper.

“How can you just do that?” I asked, curious.

“Do what?” She looked up, a face of confusion about her.

“Flop from being scared of me to being sympathetic with me? People just don’t do that. I have a friend who would smack you just for being sympathetic. Says it’s useless.” I shrug, laying down. “Not used to it, I guess. But what would he know?”

She shuffled closer to me. “I dunno. I just have a feeling you are telling the truth. Call it a sixth sense?” She shuffled a bit. “I’m Apple Cider.” I could see her hoof out of the corner of my eye, so I grabbed it and shook it up and down.

“Rich.” She sat down next to me as I laid on my back looking at the sky. “So, see any good movies lately?” Call it what you want. I was bored and I didn’t feel like talking about stuff I didn’t know. Silence sucked as well. I looked over and saw the confused expression. Man, was she good at the facial expressions. Or, maybe it was a pony thing.

“A movie?” I shook my head.

“Nevermind. Read any good books lately?” She brightened, smiling.

“Yeah I read this book about…” She continued on as I zoned out. I rolled my eyes halfway through and closed my eye. I then felt a strong poking in my side. “Cider, stop poking me.” The poking continued. “Cider. Stop that.” It still progressed. “Cider!”

***

I groaned as I felt something fabricy in my mouth. Don’t ask for a better explanation. Describing things while tired was not an easy feat. Opening one of my eyes, I could tell by the blue of my nose and the lack of feeling from my fingers, that I was once again in a pony’s body. As for the fabricy taste in my mouth, I somehow found a way to get a pillow into my mouth while sleeping, and continued in chewing it. I spat the thing out and rubbed by mouth.

“Ew…” I was poked again, causing me to look over. It was Rachel poking me! “Rachel! Oh my god!” I stood up excitedly, causing her to jump back and shriek a bit. I calmed down. “Heh, sorry Rache…” I chuckled sheepishly.

“Uh, hi pony. Why were you sleeping on my porch?” She stood up, dusting herself off.

“Cus I’m not just any pony. It’s Richard.” She blinked at me.

“Suuuurrreeee.” She nodded her head. She fixed her shoulder, which I noticed was a backpack.

“Okay. How about this. To prove I am Richard, I will say this.” I jumped up and down. “It’s ME! ALRIGHT?!” She jumped back again, looking at me somewhat scared. “I lost my testi’s and turned into a fricking female pony! Who happens to be blue and has an ass tattoo! Why would I make this up?!”

[Could you please be more quiet…]

Great, now I am hearing her voice. I mentally sighed.

[Hey. bozo. Calm down.]

[Sorry…]

Rachel snapped her fingers in my face, causing me to flinch and scrunch my face.

“You were making faces, and I believe you rich. Seems too ridiculous to make up. That, and I can tell who you are just by the act. You are a different kind of person.” She walked up to her door and unlocked it, opening it up. “But why are you here?”

I rolled my eyes. “Duh. I need you to drive me to New York.” Genius plan. Didn’t exactly think about how I’d ask. She looked at me then laughed.

“Yeah. Nononono. I am not driving to new york. I JUST got my license, too. Plus I have no car.” I walked after her as she entered her house.

“Come on, Rache! Seriously! I can provide a car! And I’ll help yah out.” She shook her head at me.

“Sorry, but it’s a no.” She started walking up her stairs. I heard yipping and her furry football ran up to me, barking. I growled at it and it yipped, running away.

“Damn chew toy.”

“What was that?”

“Seriously. I can pay for expenses!” She sighed, entering her room, putting her bag down on her bed.

“Sorry, Richard. But I can’t. I would so get grounded, let alone we may get hurt going out on our own.” I sighed.

“Come on. Where is your sense of adventure? Don’t you want to have a story to tell your kids?”

“I do, but this is ridiculous. Rich, think about what you are asking.”

“Rache, please. What could I possibly do to convince you to help me out with this?” I could see the gears turning in her head as she thought. “Well… there could be one thing. I mean, you are a pony. Why are you heading to New York?”

“Because everyone else was going there. Why?”

“Well, maybe you could help me meet Fluttershy!” I blinked.

“Flutter who?”

“A pony. I’ll tell you about her. If you help me talk to her, then I guess I can take you. IF, you can provide a car.” I nodded my head, eyebrow raised in confusion.

“Sure, whatever you want.” She eeped in excitement.

“I can’t belive I am actually doing this. I’ll be back down in a second!” She pushed me out the door of her room, then closed it.

“That… was strange. And here I am, a talking pony.”

Just a bit of Cider

by Joyous Apple

A Rude Awakening

Sanity may be challenged

A Simple Call

Confusing, thy name is... Apple Cider?