Dark Rites

by Sporkbacon

Prologue

PROLOGUE

I grew up in the small town of Trotsville where everypony knew each other's name. I never really knew my parents that well. What I do remember of my mother was that she was a kind, compassionate pony, with skills in making medicines and cure-alls. She had a dark mane, like me, with icy-blue highlights streaked through it. Also, she had a bow in her hair all the time, which nopony would never catch me in. She was sort of the village’s doctor. But my father, however, did not reveal his true job to the public, for he was a Demon Hunter. Nopony in Trotsville knew this fact. What people thought he did was help run the Pharmacy with my mother.

I have my mother's mane and eyes, and my father's personality. My eyes are a bluish-green and my tail looks like a flame, the outside edge of it being dark like my mane, with the inside being the same ice blue color, like where the blue part of the flame is with normal fire. I inherited my mother's eye problems. I guess it's just genetics that I have to wear glasses too, they're my mother's old ones.

My father always helped his neighbors, making them smile, protecting them, and doing odd jobs around while he was in town. He was almost never in town though. He was usually out on "business". My mother was always so busy making special remedies for the ponies in town that we never really had time to have any mother-daughter time together. There was a plague in Trotsville at the time, that nopony knew how to cure. Little did the populace know, it was actually a demonic curse that was cast on the town once my family started living there. From what I can tell it was my dad’s fault. He slew one of the Primary Demons’ sons. The curse was set to get back at him.

The curse itself was particularly nasty. The first sign of the "disease" was the pony's coat would change to a sickening greenish-yellow color. The second, it made your mane and tail fall out and weakened the victim immensely. Thirdly, this affliction would cause your skin to start peeling off. Finally, the fourth stage of the curse, a pony would start to sizzle and melt away, leaving a puddle of hideously-smelling fluid, and not a trace of the poor pony.

My mom never found a cure, even if she was the most medically adept pony Trotsville had ever seen. The only way to get rid of a Demon Curse is to either kill them, or ask them politely to stop. I doubt asking one of the most powerful demons in existence would have worked anyway. However, my father knew a type of summoning spell, used to call forth demons from the depths of the Nether-Plane into an enchanted golden circle. The circle bound the demon in order for the binder to interrogate it, which was more stable, and more powerful than a standard binding spell. Unfortunately, the binding circle was never intended to be used as a means of attacking the demons themselves.

One night after I had gone to bed, my father had summoned the Primary Demon, Curse-Bearer. Primary Demon Binding had never been done before. If it had, the kind of power needed would be insane, and the binder would have to be foalish enough to cast the spell.

Apparently my father had that kind of power, the Demon Binding was successful. My father mistakenly thought that summoning the demon to the Equestria-Plane in the binding circle would cause him to be powerless. But, being a Primary Demon, he kept most of his power, even inside the binding circle. How could he have known? Being surprised by the amount of power the demon still had, my father had to quickly channel a spell into the circle, to prevent him from escaping. In his panic, however the spell was unstable and could not hold Curse-Bearer. This interruption enabled Curse-Bearer to violently slash my father from chest to throat.

My mother, hearing the quickly silenced scream of her husband, ran into my room, and told me to go into the attic, and to “let mommy handle things.” After a while of being too scared to move from the spot she left me, sobbing, I decided I would move closer to the opening in the ceiling where the entrance to the attic was.

What I saw was a scene of pure horror. My father’s lifeless body and my mother’s bloodstained dress was all I saw when I peeked into the living room. I couldn't control the magic welling into my body at that point. It was as if my mother’s and my father’s magic was coming into me somehow. Suddenly my horn glowed with a burning intensity. The color of my magic was originally teal, but when my parent’s magic fused with mine, it became an aura I had never seen before. It was a deep red with many flickers of black fire floating around it. A sudden smell wafted over me and I realized immediately what this type of magic was, Demon Hunter magic.

Originally I had barely enough power to levitate a book off a shelf, or to hold a candle as I walked around my house at night. My father was always away from home to teach me any spells. I was still young, so he figured I had a while until my true magic power developed anyway. However, the power I would get once I matured was no where near the raw energy I felt at that moment. It was incredible. I felt like I could tackle anything. “I guess dad was really powerful…” I thought. The combined strength of my magic, my father’s Demon Hunter magic, and my mother’s healing magic surged within me.

Little did I know at the time, but most demons can sense magic. Naturally, Curse-Bearer was one of them. I had barely enough time to react to the sudden wave of force emanating from under me. A huge blade sliced through the floor, where I was just a moment before. Suddenly, a phrase taught to me by my father instantly came into my mind. Before now, I thought it was just some useless catchphrase that he said just to keep me confused, it was actually a different language. The power transfer had not only given me my parent’s power, but also some their knowledge. I only had one chance to seal the demon back into the Nether-Plane before it destroyed the entire town. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Then carefully chanted "Uoin Eat'uo'Do'itot" aloud and as I did, the glow on my horn intensified, bathing the attic in a dark red light.

I drew a pentagon with a circle around it in my head, like I knew what I was doing. The circle had runes and sigils interspersed within it. I was sure this was one of my father’s spells, I had no memory of learning it. However, there was a faint reminiscence of the spell, like I had learned it, many years ago. I mentally levitated the circle in mid-air and fed my power into it, causing the rampaging demon to carve its way faster into the attic.

“Nooooooooooooooooo!” Curse-Bearer shrieked. “That ssspell mussst not be completed!” I had a feeling that Curse-Bearer knew what I intended to do with him. I focused harder on the spell, in order to hurry the cast. Finally, Curse-Bearer had made his way into the small attic, with the intent to kill me where I stood. He eagerly stepped forward and prepared his bladed forearm for a vicious strike, the low ceiling cutting his attack speed into an attack that I could dodge.

Still holding the spell in my mind, I danced around Curse-Bearer, trying to wear him out so I could set the spell I was holding. Suddenly, I saw him charge his own spell. Black fire flickered in his palm. I could tell that this was a spell that would leave me severely wounded, if not, dead, if it hit me. I breathed "Ujuo'nf" to change the runes within the pentagram of the spell to a shield spell, in order to stop the attack. At this point, the spell in his hands swirled and grew into a fireball at least the size of a bowling ball. Not having much time left before he cast it, I finished drawing the rest of the runes into the protective barrier spell and set it in front of me like a shield. Panting at the amount of power I had just used up, I tried to focus, again on making a new demon-sealing spell to send him back to the Nether-plane.

Reaching critical mass, the demon flung the fireball at my protective shield. It cracked at the edges, but still held. "Hmmmm... Perhapsss you are more powerful than I imagined. Your mother and father mussst be so proud. Oh, wait. I killed them!" he said with a condescending tone. "You have no hope left, little Ssspellflasssh. Your parentsss were pitiful. They weren't even fun to kill." His fireball surged at my barrier, fracturing in random directions, with some of the fire starting to leak through. "Something you didn't notice, Curse-Bearer, I put "Toh'noev" into my barrier." I said with a laugh. He gasped and tried to make a barrier spell of his own, but it was to late. My barrier spell had already bounced his fireball back at him. It hit him in the chest with an unnatural intensity not seen in normal flame. Knowing that he would be preoccupied, I set back to work on my sealing spell.

Blanking out the Primary Demon in front of me to focus my mind, I reached into deep reserves of power I didn't even know I had, and I finished the incantation, then set the circle directly underneath Curse-Bearer. With a loud pop, the Demon-Sealing spell went off successfully. A column of black and red light shot upwards from the circle, then disappeared a few seconds later, along with Curse-Bearer.

“Noooo-“ Shouted Curse-Bearer as he was cut off by the spell I had just cast. Smoke rose from where the Demon Sealing Circle was. I did it. I forced a Primary Demon out of our plane of existence. I had never thought I could wield such power. I was still only a filly. My thoughts shot forward to what power I could use when I was older. My mind started to wander to the words I had used against Curse-Bearer. Had my father been a wielder of demon magic?

Suddenly, a small flash appeared on my flanks. I looked at it. It was a pentagram surrounded by black fire. My cutie mark had appeared! At the time, I knew I would get it soon, but I had never expected Demon Magic to be what I was best at. I felt a sense of pride at that moment. Dad would've been so proud to know that his daughter had had the skill to continue the “family business”. I passed out due to excitement and exhaustion and woke up a few hours later.

After regaining some of my composure, I decided it would be best to move on, to find a new town to go to. Since my parents were the only family I had in Trotsville, I needed a new home. Even though it was my family home and the only home I had ever known. I knew it wouldn't be safe around here anymore for me. I came to the conclusion that it would be hard to explain the scene of violence to the citizens of my hometown, I decided that leaving town would be much easier.

I walked passed the remains of my family. With a sickening twist in my gut, I went into the basement and decided to gather up some Demon Hunting supplies. I knew I had to carry on my father’s legacy and get revenge. I wanted to kill every demon that had caused harm to anypony.

I found an old satchel with some vials, herbs and various other alchemical instruments. “Thanks, mom.” I thought to myself. I noticed I had a few burn marks from the flame that leaked through my barrier, and drank a potion labeled "Burn Cure". I wiped my mouth and opened a nearby closet and looked inside. The door swung open easily. I found a leather pouch with a note on it. I picked it up and read it. It said: “Dearest Spellflash, if you are reading this, you are now alone. I am sorry it had to come to this. I didn’t expect this to happen. Hopefully, the Magic Transference Spell I used on myself and your mother just before I summoned Curse-Bearer to our plane, worked. Heh, it should have, you wouldn't be reading this if it hadn't. Either way, remember that we love you. Remember that you have the power to accomplish whatever you want in this world. Don’t take it for granted though. We are always with you now; my Hunting skills and your mother’s healing magic will pass through you like they were your own. The transference spell will gradually give you the information we both knew in our lifetimes. The spell is also designed to become a personal reference book within your mind. With time, you may become one of the best Demon Hunters to ever be known. Inside this satchel I have put an outfit I had been saving for you for when you get older. We were going to train you, too late for that now I suppose. As you know, we have relatives all over Equestria. Go visit them, and tell them what happened. Love, Daddy.

I stared at the hastily scrawled text on the paper for what felt like a long time. I gasped at the sudden realization; my own father had sacrificed himself knowingly. “But,” I mused. “He did give me the means to avenge our family.”

“I can’t believe my parents are dead.” I thought aloud. The gravity of my parent’s death finally hit me. I fell in a heap on the floor and cried harder than I ever have before. I couldn't blame him though, he was just trying to save everypony.

After re-reading the note and crying for a while longer, I took a look in the satchel. In the leather pouch I found a few bracelets, 2 pairs of black leather boots, and a leather vest. As I looked around some more, I found a large stack of important-looking books on demons, and decided to throw them into the satchel, and then set off on the road to a new town for a fresh start.

Comments

[thephantur]

First, right off the bat, I'd suggest you change 40 minutes to something else. For one thing, a young mare just lost her home and family, it'd take longer to mourn, gather supplies, etc.. Maybe she has a strong will and determination, if so, mention it somewhere. Also, it's surprising how no one noticed such a large disturbance in a city.

(BTW is this inspired by Supernatural? Is so, I love you.)

So far so good, going into detail about the journal was a great idea. Anything to make us understand Demon Hunter lore, the better.

The only problem I see is that I have no clue what the main character looks like. Remember, you can't rely on the cover to do that. I actually never even saw it so I was a bit confused. So some description (there's more than one method, you don't have to say: "she has black hair, tanned skin, etc..." you can slip it in... there's terminology for that but I forgot what it's called. Have it brought up in dialogue, as you're describing an action, throw in a description of the protagonist, etc..."

So yeah, basically, just those two points, the rest is looking great.