Chapter 4
A Mac Dash Wedding Collaboration
Chapter 4: Turning the Tables
Written by Crowquill Symphony
“Alrighty boys, you know why we’re all here.” Caramel said as he glanced around the table. The single lamp in the room cast shadows on the faces of the stallions assembled, but the matter that had drawn them together demanded a level of subtlety and secrecy. “We are an assembly of stallions who share a common factor, a single point that draws us together.”
One stallion raised a hoof. “We all get together for drinks on fridays?” he asked, and Caramel scowled.
“No, I’m talking about Big Macintosh. He is our friend, our confidant, our wingman, and he is getting married.” There was a murmur around the table as they discussed this revelation, but as soon as Caramel spoke again they fell silent. “Now gents, you all know that there is one thing absolutely necessary for his wedding to be perfect, one thing that we cannot even think to forget.”
Absolute silence, and then the same stallion from before spoke again. “A best colt?” There were murmurs of agreement, followed by Caramel rolling his eyes.
“Yes, he needs that, but there’s also something more important, something that happens before the actual wedding.” He rested his elbows on the table and templed his hooves, a moment of apprehension filling the room before he finally said those two words, those words that sent a feeling of joy through all the assembled stallions.
“Bachelor party, gentlemen. Bachelor party.” Caramel stood up and began to pace around the dimly lit room as the others voiced their enthusiasm. “Our friend is seeking a life of blissful matrimony, and it’s our duty to see that he leaves the world of bachelorhood with a bang. And so, I say we rally together in support of our friend, our comrade in arms, and salute the end of his single days in a glorious revelry of drinking and strippers that would leave a teenage dragon scared for life!”
The idle chattering had grown into full fledged roars of approval. Even Bulk Biceps could not contain the pure masculine pride he felt, a single tear dramatically rolling down his muscled cheek before he let out a roar. “What say you, stallions of Ponyville? Will we praise and honor our friend in the most befitting manner possible?” Caramel cried out.
“HELL YEAH!”
“Then come on!” He said, “Let’s plan this mule!” The roaring cheers continued, and Caramel took a bow. The kept cheering and cheering until their throats were hoarse, and only then did they stop. Silence overcame the table once more.
Finally, somepony spoke up again. “So, what’s the plan?” All eyes went to Caramel, who suddenly started eyeing the door.
“Uhh… well…” he started, but before he could come up with a plan one stallion cleared his throat, and Caramel seized the opportunity. “Yes Thunderlane? You have a plan?”
The grey pegasus stood up slowly, and he cast Caramel a sly glance. “Yes. Yes I do, and best of all, we can pull it all off tonight. I can promise that this bachelor party is going to be… unforgettable.”
Big Mac gave Dash a quick nuzzle between bites of his apple salad, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek and a loving smile. The two of them had been at it for most of dinner, not-so-subtly sneaking displays of affection into their eating while all the assembled ponies handled it in their own way. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were making exaggerated gagging noises at the mushy displays of affection, while Sweetie Belle, Granny Smith and Pinkie Pie watched with smiles on their faces, occasionally giggling at the lovebird’s socializing, and Twilight and Fluttershy were silently wondering how they had been roped into dinner.
“Ah love you, Dash,” he said with a small kiss.
“I love you too, big guy.” she replied with a longer one. They started trading kisses again and Apple Bloom groaned and buried her face in her plate.
Mac enjoyed this; the casual environment, the comfort of having his fiance sitting by his, and the general feeling of family that was filling the dining room. There was even some pleasant idle chatter, though inevitably the conversation turned to the upcoming wedding, starting with Pinkie Pie asking about the cake.
“Okay, so, first off, how many layers on the cake? Most ponies only go for three, but I think it’d be super epic to go for six like we did on your birthday, and we can have each layer held up by some decorative streamers with rainbow colored bows and have little figurines on top of you and Mac smooching kinda like you’re doing now, hey what’s with the stare? Oh, right! The cake! So, whaddya think Dash?” Pinkie’s rant drew multiple glances from across the table, but she seemed unbothered by it all.
“I, uh, I guess that sounds cool.” Dash replied, and Mac gave a slight nod. A big cake meant more fed ponies, and knowing his family six layers might just be enough. “And we’re going to have me and Mac as toppers, right?”
“Pfft, of course silly! Why wouldn’t we?” Pinkie replied without a second thought. “I still can’t believe you’re getting married! This is gonna be such a super duper mega awesome super special incredible wedding! Hee Hee!” Pinkie found herself bouncing again, and Mac simply grinned and went back to nuzzling his future wife in between bites of apple pie.
It had been like this all day, with Pinkie bouncing about and trying to get the happy couple’s opinion on everything from streamers to decorations to the music and catering at the reception. He’d done his best to participate in the planning as much as he could, but there was a limit to his knowledge in regards to planning any sort of social event. He’d helped to set up more than a few of them, but he’d never actually been invested in the planning of one.
Midway through listing all the flavors of cake she could bake up for their wedding cake, Pinkie stopped, her head cocked abruptly to the side and she stuck her tongue out at a strange angle before returning to normal and smiling. “Somepony’s at the door!” She exclaimed, and less than a second later there was a knock at the door. Mac gave Dash another quick peck before trotting over and opening it up.
He found himself greeted by a pair of ponies, two of the stallions he saw around the village. “Chimney Chute, Bulk Biceps.”
They nodded. “Mac. We’re borrowing you for a few hours.” Chimney said, and Mac narrowed his eyes.
“What’s up?” he asked, and the other two were silent for a moment before Chute spoke up.
“S’the tree. Y’know, the tree by Bicep’s house? We kinda need your help moving it.”
“It’s eight in t’evening.” Mac replied.
“It fell on into his bedroom.”
“Can’t he move it?”
“IT’S WING DAY.” Bulk interjected in his indoor voice, which still packed enough volume to knock over the coat rack. “PLUS, ITS REALLY HEAVY. IT’S HUGE!”
“We’re getting a couple of the other stallions to help out, but if you were there we could get it taken care of in no time flat.”
Mac said nothing, just looked from one stallion to the other before finally letting out a resigned sigh.
“Mac? Something up?”
He turned to Dash as she came in and gave her a weak smile. “S’nothing much, but Ah gotta go move a tree. Ah’ll be back soon enough.” He walked over and gave her a reassuring kiss before turning back to the door. “C’mon boys, Ah got a bride t’come home to an’ it’ll go faster if y’all pitch in.”
“Mac?” She said, and he turned back and looked to her with longing in his eyes, waiting for her next words before he set out. “If you’re not gonna eat your pie, can I have it?”
That hadn’t been what he’d expected. Nonetheless he gave a slow nod and turned back to the door, ready to trudge out into the night when there was the sound of wings flapping and Dash landed between him and the other stallions. She pressed her lips against his for a brief second before flashing a smile. “I’m gonna go take a shower, so I’ll probably be up by the time you get back, kay?”
Words couldn’t describe how joyful he felt over the simple display of affection. “Eeyup.”
They set out into the chilly evening air, Mac flanked by the interrupting pair as they set out towards the town. Almost as soon as they left Sweet Apple Acres a few more stallions joined them, followed by a few more, and even more, until it seemed almost every stallion he knew was there. Caramel in particular had taken a place right next to him, and had a wide smile on his face.
Curiosity finally overcame the great stallion, and he turned to Caramel and asked, “We all goin’ t’move the tree?”
Caramel smiled widely, and he patted Mac on the back. “Not quite, Mac. We’ve got something better planned for you.” he said, and the last sentence sent a chill down Mac’s spine made worse by him realizing exactly where the group had herded him. They were standing in front of a lavish building, a place of gold and gaudy wallpaper with pictures of mare’s in lingerie and expensive looking cocktails. Standing out front were a pair of large, burly stallions dressed in suits and on par with Macintosh for size.
“Where’ve you colts brought me?” he said, though he knew the answer clearly. “What’re we doin’”
Caramel’s smile grew to Pinkie Pie levels of width. “We’ve brought you to your bachelor party, Big Macintosh. And as for what we’re doing…”
“Strip clubs, Mac. All of them.”
“Eeenope.”
“Mac, we outnumber you twenty to one; you’re going to the strip club tonight.” Caramel put on a smile, but Mac remained unpersuaded. “We’ll buy all the drinks.” he added in a sing-songing voice, and Mac raised an eyebrow. Hook, line, sinker. “Come on boys, let’s get Mac some booze!”
There was a cheer from all the stallions assembled, and as a crowd they made for the door, with Mac being pushed along by the crowd. None of them noticed a single pegasus break off from the group and take off, flying away with a small, devilish grin on his face.
Dash dragged a towel through her mane after coming out of the shower, and began to plod along on the way to the bedroom. Mac was out and about, and after dinner the rest of his family had started doing their own things, Granny Smith knitting, Applejack doing the dishes, the CMC going to Applebloom’s room to play, and everyone else heading back to their own houses. She slunk through the door and lay herself across the bed.
It didn’t seem right, those stallions calling on Mac in the middle of the night to move a tree, especially since there hadn’t been a storm strong enough to knock down a tree in months. It all seemed suspicious, but when she tried to focus on it she found her thoughts were scrambled and disjointed, and with a groan she buried her face in the woolen sheets.
Then somepony started knocking on the window. Considering they were on the second floor, she guessed that it was a pegasus, probably Thunderlane. That or Pinkie Pie. She looked up and groaned even louder at the sight of the former rapping at the pane. “Dash? Dash, I want to talk to you.” Thunderlane said, his tone soft and apologetic. “I’m sorry for going off on you earlier, about Mac. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.”
She squinted at him, hoping to determine whether or not he was telling the truth. After a bit she decided to get up and humor him. “Thanks for the apology, I guess… What are you doing here?” She said as she opened up the window. Thunderlane hopped down and circled slightly, looking her dead in the eyes with the same face he used when he asked her if she could take his shift.
“I… I just didn’t want to leave things like this. You’re a great friend to me Dash, and after clearing my head and thinking about it for a while, I decided… I decided I’d come out and wish you both well.” He cradled her hoof as he spoke, and she could see a hint of a tear at the corner of his eye. “I wanted to apologize to you in person, and I wanted to congratulate him. I mean, I thought he’d be here. Where is he?”
Dash sighed and rolled her eyes. “Bulk Biceps got a tree dropped on his house or something.” She replied, and then noticed that Thunderland was intently staring at her. “What?”
“Bicep’s house is fine,” Thunderlane said, “I passed by it on my way here.” Dash felt a hint of doubt creep into her mind, but she dismissed it.
“Well, I guess they’re out drinking. They do that sometimes. Heck, I’ve heard they make up stories to tell Mrs. Cake when they want to see Mr. Cake do a kegstand.” She smiled slightly at that; that had been a great Cuteceniera
“I dunno, doesn’t it seem a bit odd to just go out drinking after proposing to a girl? I mean, I’d imagine he’d be trying to spend as much time as he could with you.”
“Yeah, well, he’s got other friends, and I know I spend a lot of time with my friends without him. Why wouldn’t he do the same?”
“Aren’t you the least bit curious?” Thunderlane asked, and for a moment there seemed to be a flash of annoyance on the grey stallion’s face.
“No. I trust him not to do anything crazy. Besides, he’d be nuts to walk away from this awesomeness.” Dash said firmly. Thunderlane didn’t look convinced.
“I just don’t want him to hurt you, Dash. You’re one of my oldest friends.” Dash cringed slightly as he said that, not because she found it odd or anything, but just because she knew from experience that he would never play that card unless he was absolutely certain something was wrong. Every bone in her body said that she should just trust Mac, but there was still that slight nagging voice saying, ‘Trust Thunderlane, he’s always been a cool guy in the past, he’d probably just concerned.’
“Alright, I could use some exercise; we’ll fly out and try to track him down, but after that I don’t wanna hear a single word against Mac, okay Thunderlane?” The stallion nodded, and with that they took off into the night sky. The cool air rushed through her mane, and within a second she was flying above the clouds, looking around for any signs of her soon-to-be husband.
Down below, still standing in the bedroom, Thunderlane watched Dash take off with a sinister smile on his face. “We’ll find him Dash… don’t worry.”
The mare looked down over the town, searching for any ponies who looked like the stallions Mac hung out with. She made sure to pop into the town’s bars and see if he was there, but after four separate visits she was starting to get a little worried. Where was he? She took to the sky again, and this time she spotted a familiar looking stallion.
She landed with enough force to crack the dirt beneath her and walked up to the snow white mountain of muscle. “Sup Bulk Biceps,” She called out, and then she braced herself as the giant pegasus turned.
“WASSUP RAINBOW DAAAY-OSH!” he shouted, a slight slur in his booming voice. “YOU’RE LOOKING GOOD TONIGHT!”
She smiled politely and tried to ignore the potent smell of liquor on his breath. “Uh, thanks. Look, I’m just wondering if you’ve seen Big Macintosh.”
“OH YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT YOU TWO GETTING ENGAGED! MAZEL TOV, DASH!” Bulk pause for a second and looked around before pointing at a nearby building “HE’S IN THERE!”
Dash turned and felt her jaw drop as she looked the structure over. One story tall with a large sign reading, ‘Naughty Rabbit Gentleman’s Club,’ and pictures of eroticly dressed mares all around. She felt one eye twitching slightly as she tried to make sense of everything. “What… What’s he doing in there anyways?”
“IT’S HIS BACHELOR PARTY! YEEEAH!” Bulk produced a beer can, chugged it and crushed the can with his biceps after he spoke, and Dash gave a slight nod. Bachelor party. Alright, she could deal with that; it actually made a lot of sense, what with the guys coming to drag Mac out in the middle of the night. She remembered what Thunderlane had said, and suddenly her mind became clear.
“That son of a mule,” she growled. Thunderlane was a jerk, and a stupid jerk if this was his plan. Send Mac to a strip club for her to conveniently find out? Even if she couldn’t figure out mystery novels, she could figure out stupid plans, having come up with more than a few of them. She was angry, frustrated, furious! She wanted to get back at Thunderlane and drag Mac back home, but in an instant another thought occurred to her, and a sly smile crossed her face.
Might as well end the night on a high note, she thought, and she started walking towards the bouncers with a grin on her face. Thunderlane wanted me to find Mac in a strip club? She’d find him in the strip club. She’d find the heck out of him.
As Dash trotted into the club, a determined look on her face, Thunderlane watched quietly from a distance. Everything was going according to plan, and soon enough he’d be together with Dash. All that was left was for him to wait for her to come out upset and disheartened, and he’d be there for her; truly a perfect plan to his eyes. A smile crossed his face and he began to chuckle, softly at first but slowly growing into a full-blown villainous laugh that echoed into the night.
Eight shots worth of Apple-ritas in and Mac was still finding it hard to enjoy himself. All around him in the dim, smoky room were mares, beautiful mares of every shape and size, all dressed in entrancing bedroom apparel. His friends kept ordering him drinks and passing him one-bit coins to slide over to the dancers on stage as they came on, and while he participated and got more than a few personal dances he found his thoughts kept drifting back to Dash.
He’d been overjoyed when she’d stepped in between the rampaging horde of mares and him, but being surrounded by mares in lacy panties and knee high stockings made him worry about what she might do if she found him here. She didn’t seem the jealous type by any stretch of the word, but in his state he couldn’t help but ponder the worst possible outcome for being found here with his friends. What if she called the wedding off? What if she attacked him? What if she attacked the other women? What if she simply burned the club to the ground in a fit of passion?
These, and a thousand other implausible possibilities flooded his mind even as a sultry mare ground her hips against him. To any normal stallion the results would’ve been instantaneous, but Mac was made of stone at the moment, the alcohol withdrawing him and making him into a flawless marble statue of fortitude. A slightly drooling statue.
The song ended and the mare excused herself, and he felt a nudge in his ribs from Caramel. “Mac? Buddy, you alright?” he asked, and Mac shrugged.
“Ah’m alright,” he said, though with the combination of his natural drawl and the slurring from the drinking it came out as “M’al’ight.” Caramel didn’t look convinced, and he took a sip of his drink before draping a foreleg across the farmhoof’s shoulders.
“Look Mac, yer… yer getting married, man! You’re gonna have ‘sponsibilities, gonna have a wife, an’ yer gonna have kids, trust me. You... you’re tha big dog ‘ere Mac, an’ we all look up t’you. You… I love you man. Y’re like a brother t’me, Mac, and we’re giving you a big send off.”
Mac returned the brohug, but remained stoic. Their intentions were good, but it still felt wrong to be off at a strip club when he could’ve just as easily stayed home with Dash. He knew she had some lingerie; she’d shown it to him quite clearly on more than one occasion, and if he asked she’d probably wouldn’t mind dressing up. Heck, when they’d first started getting serious he’d gone out and bought a pair of black briefs that he’d slip on after he showered, just so he could surprise her.
He felt himself drooling again, and he wiped the thin strand off his face before glancing down at his half-finished drink. He shrugged and emptied the rest of the glass in a single swig, letting his eyes roll back as it flowed down his throat. He glanced at the stage, saw it was empty and let his head lean against his chest, just listening to the music and letting the alcohol kick in.
Then came the crackle of the DJ’s booth, and a voice calling out, “All right you crazy colts, we’ve got something special coming for you on the main stage! Please welcome a mare attending her own fiance’s bachelor party and looking to give the lucky stallion a good time, Rainbow Firefly Dash!”
Mac’s eyes went wide, and as a familiar cyan pegasus strutted out onto the stage in a sultry red outfit he felt his jaw drop and his heart start pounding. There were the usual hoots and howls from his friends, but he found himself stunned, frozen and petrified from shock at the sight of his bride-to-be on stage that he couldn’t even make out a word.
She caught sight of him almost instantly and crept forward, that devilish smile she wore whenever she was trying out a dangerous stunt plastered across her muzzle as she approached the bright red stallion. “Hey, big guy,” she crooned in her bedroom voice, “you come here often?” His mouth gaped as he tried to respond, tried to think of something to say, but she simply giggled and licked her lips lusciously as she leaned in towards him. “Or are you just here for me?” she whispered.
“Ah…. uh… Uh…” Mac stammered and glanced down at the empty glass in his hooves. She reached over, took it from him and set it down to the side.
“Ah ah ah,” she softly scolded, “No more for right now… you’re got something else on your plate.” With that she slid forward and set her hips against his, the soft satin of the panties rubbing against him in such a way that he found it getting harder to breath. He took deep, long breaths as she straddled him, rubbing him with her clothed marehood and stimulating the inebriated stallion.
“Dashie,” he gasped out, and she leaned in and gave a long lick up his neck that made him shiver.
She pressed her muzzle against his, and she whispered, “Whadya say we take this somewhere more… private?”
He nodded furiously, and she gently pulled him up and began to lead him aside as the other stallions cheered for him. “Go Mac!” Caramel cried out, “Yo’da man, muh man! Get sum! WOO!” He didn’t hear them, being too focused on those toned blue flanks delicately wrapped in red. He oogled Dash’s backside, eyes wide as he took in the sight of her in the dim lights of the club. She was beautiful, as beautiful as ever, and now she was going taking him aside for a private dance, and with that fact in his clouded mind he gladly considered himself the luckiest stallion alive.
She led him into a small room at the back of the club, a long narrow room with a bench stretching along the side, and dividers for the stallion who might’ve felt embarrassed or shy. She pushed him back onto the seat, his back against the wall as she smiled. “You know,” she said in that same sexy tone she’d been using that entire night, “you looked totally bummed out before I walked in.”
It took him a moment to find his voice, and when he did he was barely able to eke out, “Ah wanted t’see you.”
She ground her barrel against his, her hips carressing him lower down. “Me? At a club like this? Nah, that’d never happen. This is a one time thing, cowpony.” She began to grind against his stallionhood, and he let out a small whimper of a moan as he felt his little apple tree start to grow. “And we’re soooo gonna finish this when we get home.”
He nodded again, and with a smirk and a flourish her wing tips reached down to the sides of the panties, slipped beneath the hem and slowly, slowly pulled them down. In the glorious moment they slipped down and fell to her ankles, that glorious, perfect moment, Mac thanked Celestia and prayed that he’d remember this all in the morning.
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Thunderlane, you dumbass prick. You want Rainbow and you to be a thing, but you don't even know the first thing about how she thinks.
The moment I read that they were going to a strip club, I knew this would only end one of two ways, and neither would help Thunderlane in the least. At least with the way it turned out, they actually manage to get home.
Right, because showing Dash all of the ponies that were gonna tell be what's up is a smart idea.
God, Thunderlane is a moron.
That..............
was.............
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love it. It totally ruined Thunderlane's plan. I am dying of laughter. Great job. Just great Job.
Somehow I knew Dash would've done what she done. At least Mac got some fun out of it.
THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!! on your face Thunderlane!!! muajajajajajaja!!!!!!!
4049149 Er...do you mean in your face?
4049153 you understand it, and that is the important thing!
besides, I'm transfering pokemons to pokebank, you can guess where my attention is. 
Another epic chapter!
4049160 Oh I know, poke-bank is just like ... so much time consuming
Thunderlane is
abeing a douchebag. Though a small part maybe the size of a drop ofbitchslapblood feels a little pity for the guy.lol
4052082 A little. ONLY a little.
Oh lord, Thunderlane, this plan is terrible. Even if against all odds it causes Mac and Dash to break up, there are like 20 or so stallions who know that the strip club was your idea, and all of them are Mac's friends and none of them have reason to keep it a secret.
And there we go, Dash finds out that her fiance was dragged to a bachelor party and has the sensible reaction of not flipping out about it.
Wait, scratch that, more like the awesome reaction of joining in!
Thunderlane is so dead later on, though. He'll be lucky if he has any chance of staying friends with Dash at all after this.
4076402
Or even any mares wanting anything to do with him. Because, seriously, what mare would want a stallion who now has a history of becoming blindly obsessed with one years ago due to signs of a slight crush and didn't act on it until she was engaged and then tries doing what he can to sabotage it.
Not many I would assume... or maybe not considering there would probably be mares having no problem with that since he was trying to get Dash away from Mac, thus free him up for them to try to get again.
Update anytime soon?
4285860
Just finished my chapter. Once it's edited (should only take a day or so), it'll be up. It's a long one.
Nice chap, though I feel the quintessential strip club song must be posted: