'Thank you and goodbye my friend' were the last words Kyle heard from his partner. Kyle could only tear up as he watch Zuruna slowly vanish with a smile on her tearful face. Before he could utter a word, he was now staring at the cold ground where Zuruna once stood. Kyle broke down on the floor crying with sorrow. "Its not fair!" Wailed Kyle. He and Zuruna just defeated Primal Dialga and prevented the world paralysis and this is what happen? " Please don't leave me..."
It was Zuruna that Kyle been able to become a explorer. Kyle has not always been the brave and tough type. He was a quiet little Treecko with an ambition in becoming a great explorer. He managed to become a explorer when he met Zuruna. It was her that he managed to become braver. Zuruna was quite the naive and impish type but she was willing to help anyone in any circumstances.
Kyle could still remember seeing her at that beach unconscious. She had no recollection of her memories and even stated that she was a human. Despite her position, she help out a stranger in retrieving back their belonging and help them overcome their fear. Then when they became explorers together and form their team (Team Midori) they encounter many dangerous dungeons but also dungeons that fulfilled their role of an explorer and help out many fellow Pokemon along the way.
Kyle eventually got back on his feet and wipe his tears off. "No I can't stay like this, Zuruna wouldn't like seeing me like this. I got to get back to Treasure Town and tell everyone." Kyle then slowly left Temporal Tower, each step felt like someone just punched him in his heart. He took one last look back before departing back to Treasure Town.
***
"Uhhhh..." Groaned Zuruna as she barely opened her eyes. She found herself lying on grassy ground as she regain consciousness. Slowly her mind were putting pieces by pieces until her eyes widen and she quickly got up. "Temporal Tower...world paralysis...fading...Kyle" were the things going around her head like a storm of memory's attacking her mind all at once. She took a look around her surroundings and see that she was in a forest clearing, a rather dark and mysterious forest with a ominous feel to it.
There were hardly any sunlight as the twisted looking tree branches were covering up the sky. But it was dim enough for Zuruna to make out her surroundings. "Great it feel like I'm in Dusk Forest again." Mumbled Zuruna under her breath.
She noticed that her feet felt weird. She placed a hand on her forehead to check if she going lightheaded except that it wasn't a hand she felted. It felt like a harder like substance in her hand place. It was covered in fur and the fur was a vibrant orange colour.
Zuruna checked her other hand and sure enough it was a bright orange coloured hoof.
The bewildered Zuruna felt like going back asleep and pretend she never saw anything. She eventually snap out of her gaze at her new hoof. She looked around again and saw a tiny (convenient) puddle a few centimetres away.
She quickly ran over to the puddle only to fall flat on her face. Turns out her feet are also hoofs. Trying to adjust to her new features, she took step by step closer to the puddle.
Once she got to the puddle she took a glance not hoping for the worst to come. The puddle was very murky and look like something died in it. However, it was still possible to see her reflection. The moment she saw her reflection, she knows she not a Chimchar anymore.
She almost look just like a Ponyta except that her hair was still in her Chimchar style which was in a fire like symbol but was also longer then usual. Her eyelids still had the bright red highlights. The Chimchar chest symbol was also still there. Zuruna noticed that she was in a Ponyta like body but still had the features of a Chimchar. But a feature she does not recognise is a red horn on her head. "Well this is new."
She also had a pony like tail but it was on fire. Zuruna however is not affected by the fact her new tail is on fire. Since Chimchar is a fire type Pokemon and Zuruna still had some features of her past body, she felt that it was a part of her now. That however does not explain the red horn. She began tapping her hoof against the ground in an attempt to think. "...I got nothing."
***
Zuruna sat down staring at her reflection in the dirty puddle (which is soon to evaporate) touching her old red scarf. One thing she was glad that she still have her red scarf. It was the day Kyle and Zuruna both become explorers that they been giving some items.
Kyle had a green defence scarf while Zuruna had a red scarf. It was the only thing closest to home for her. It's the only possession with her right now.
Being stuck in an unknown location with no idea to get home inside a new body is sure to freak somebody out. But the lone ex-Chimchar is not about to give up and cry on the floor. Instead, the ex-Chimchar took a step to the closest tree and ram her head against it.
"Ouch!" Yelled the collapsed equine. "Okay this is not a dream then." Noted herself.
After getting back on their hoof, Zuruna decided as a explorer to roam around this untrusting forest. Maybe finding someone will help her back home. "Surely this forest must end at somewhere, it's not like it's called the forever lasting forest or something." Thought Zuruna.
Before choosing which direction to choose from, a loud ear piercing scream came from somewhere in the dense forest. Zuruna natural instinct told her to go in that direction, so she did before falling flat on her face again. "Oh right, new feet." Grumbled Zuruna.
So the lone ex-Chimchar eventually began their trek to the location of that scream in the mysterious forest. It is unknown to her that it is a scream of fear,cry,help or anger.
So… does this qualify as an HiE? They weren't human when they entered Equestria, but they were a human before that, too…
3770741
Yeah yeah I know, it's pretty confusing.
Im still not sure to add the human tag unless I mention more about humans later on the story~
3770783 Unless there's humans directly in the story (in the present) and they play a major part, I wouldn't.
3770816
Nah I don't think human be playing out a major part.
Thank you for the comment. ^^
3770854 No problem. I realize what it's like when people don't comment as much as you'd wish, so I usually comment on stories I've got something to say about.
Hey loving the story! Please make more! It is really great and sinse I just finished pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of darkness (same game different title) I follow the story completely! If you have the game than do you agree that primal dialga was VERY difficult! I kinda gave up after a while and my sister did it. Any way you earnt a like and a fave!
3770878
Haha well comments are appreciated~
Thanks again~
3770983
Wow thank you very much!
That make me very happy to hear (well read) that!
Oh and I agree, Primal Dialga was very hard! I needed a lot of revivers seeds. x3
Again thank you very much for the fav and like!
And yes I will make more of this!
I gotta say, I'm loving this fic thus far. Explorers of Time and Darkness are my favorites in the series. Nothing compares, imho.
Only real problems I can see wrong with this fic is the rather glaring grammar errors, but that could easily be fixed with a decent editor and a good conversation or two.
I'm loving everything thus far, though it seems a tad short. I suppose that's to be expected, as it's the first chapter, and the main focus seems to be giving readers a good idea of who the characters are, and where the story deviates from the game it's taken from.
All in all, a brilliant idea that I can't wait to read more of! :3
3771315
Haha I'm happy to see another person that love the Mystery Dungeon series~
Hehe thanks for the little criticism. Hopefully I should be able to improve grammar problems in future time and I should be able to make future chapters longer!
Thanks again for the comment and criticism~ ^^
3771346
Eh, it's like I say, there's always room for improvement. This is especially true of my shitty stories, hehe.
I'm truly interested in the little nuances of your specific characters from Mystery Dungeon. Do you plan on occasionally showing what's happening back over in Treasure Town? I've always been curious as to what happens to the partner during the month(s) between the main character's disappearance, and Dialga's bringing him/her back.
Will there be any references/flashbacks to their specific adventures back in the Pokemon World? I'd like to see how your character's handled the situations.
Will the Dimensional Scream work in Equestria? I know they don't know what it's actually called, but it's still a really cool ability.
One last thing: Which version, of the 3, did you play, and which version, if any, are these characters from? I know the differences between the base 2 aren't huge, but I still think it's relevant.
I am liking what I am reading so far.
3771390
Yeah I still intend to show flashbacks and what's going at Treasure Town. But I'm mostly going to focus on the main character interaction to Ponyville residences and how she will cope.
The Dimensional Scream is an idea I'm going to keep for future chapters. Who knows, it might help out the character. ^^
Oh and I played all of them except for Gates to Infinity and I'm keeping it in the Explores of Sky storyline.
3771440
I am happy to hear (well read) that~
Thank you!
3771457
Oooo, I loved Explorer's of Sky, but Darkness will always have a special place in my heart, it was my first . X3
Gates to Infinity was a bit of a letdown, to be honest. It looks good, but they cut so much, that it's not really worth it, imo. Only 5 pokemon to choose from as your starter AND partner, and Unova pokemon are the big focus, which is a let down.
Legendary Pokemon can't be recruited outside of a few specifics, which hurts my inner completionist. Also, certain dungeons can't even be accessed unless you are playing with friends, which sucks as those ones tend to give the best rewards.
Anyway, back to the actual story, I can't wait to see what happens next! :3
3771515
Haha nice! XD
Hmmmm Gates to Infinity seem a little disappointing but oh well. :P
And I shall get back to the story!
I'd say play Gates to Infinity when you get the chance, as it's still a great game by all definitions, I just don't think they'll ever be able to top Explorer's of Sky/Time/Darkness, without doing a full, high quality system game. Which, hopefully, will come sometime soon.
I'd say the biggest letdowns are the severe cut in the number of obtainable Pokemon, and the fact that all mission from the mission board only reward you with construction materials. Other than that, it's a great game, with a lot of awesome new features.
And don't mention that trio of games on the Wii, the style they use just hurts my eyes, sad so say, and it seems to me like they weren't made with as much effort as previous games. They remind me more of those Pokemon Rumble games, which weren't that great either.
3770983
Use a riolu. Any questions... Wait, i forgot you had Darkness, not sky. Never mind!
It's not bad, but it definitely could be better. I suggest getting a proofreader or pre reader (wink wink nudge nudge) to help you out (pick me pick me) do you can get your writing to a highe level. I can already tell this will be a good one, so do whatever it takes to make it the best it can be!
This feels like it has great promise, but the grammar is putting me off. I'll fave it to see where it'll go, but hold off on thumbs-upping it. I highly suggest getting an editor.
3771791
Haha well thanks for the little criticism!
Oh and judging by the way you nudging me, that would be nice if someone checked the next chapters before I submit them~
Thanks for the support!
3773367
Okidokiz~ that's great to know!
Thank you for the comment and I be sure to improve on the grammar!
What?? Was my first impression when I saw the title, lolz. Nice story. Although I got confused which character was which. I guess the Chimchar was the partner? and the Treecko was the player? Other than that it is pretty good. It also give the incompleteness that makes people want to read more. I look forward to further chapters. If I like further chapters I will fav.
3774621
Does that mean I can help? If so, PM me your email when you get the chance! I'm a little busy this week because midterms/finals, but I'd loce to help you!
P.S: Cool artwork! Did you draw it yourself?
*love, stupid Ipod's small screen...
3774783
I'm having guesses I confused you by having both characters saying "partner" or something.
Treecko the partner and Chimchar is the player.
Why thank ya kindly for commenting~
3774839
Okay sure~ ^^
I send you a private message later. It be a while till I get the next chapter done.
Thank you for the help!
Also I did draw the cover, thanks! :D
3771769 Yea dialga took a bit of work but after we got to a ccertain level than he was easy!
3775439 lol I got confused here
I missed the key words 'Seeing her'. I thought it said 'being'. Probably because you kept saying she making me think it could be the other character (I sometimes miss key words like 'he') In new paragraphs, to be safe, I just rewrite all their names as opposed to he, she, it, him, her etc., because paragraphs are more so an event rather than an idea. If you keep saying he and she, names are often confused (especially in new paragraphs), and therefore making it a bit difficult to distinguish who is who. Although I do miss key words.
3776856
Ah okay. I now see what you mean. ^^
I try not to say "he" or "her" too much next time. It's a bit hard though not to keep on saying a character name every time and "he" and "her" etc.
Anyway thank you for the tip!
3776993 As long as it is easy to distinguish who you are talking about then its good.
3775453
Yay! I won't let you down! Between you and me and everyone who can see this comment, I'm planning on a regular crossover with Pokemon if you're interested. Won't be out for a while though.
3779281
Ooo that will be interesting!
Well good luck when you do that~
3784983
Quick question, what country do you live in? Only asking because it would make it easier to work with you if I knew.
3784993
Hmmmm okay but I be sending it in a private letter.
I am glad to help in th7s story
3864898