It's good, as always. But, you keep need to put some '?'s when someone asks a question. Also, I would add some details on where the group is, like 'We walked with caution on a street full of burning cars and bloody corpses. The shops and houses windows were broken, exposing their interiors." And try to add confusion on Kris and Flutters first dialogue. It isn't normal to find a naked pink-haired girl cowering inside a house during a zombie apocalypse. Also, Fluttershy is... shy. Try this: "W-who are you?" "W-where am I?". That's all.

3708183 soon like a week or so

Wait, how are they going to walk all the way to the white house.

3708259 well not all the way just for a few chapters and then other things can't tell you cause spoilers

good story might be just right for Kaidan's group tragedy.

3708351 dude you get a follow just for your pic I love Indiana Jones he's my favorite person ever well Harrison Ford is anyway cause he's a good actor

3708360 Thanks. I think Indiana is the best hero. He inspired me to be a teacher.

3708371 he's the reason I'm going for a history major when I go to collage I knew ever thing about ancient civilizations like the Greeks and Romans love them to death man

3708381 I'm more in to 20 century history.

3708394 I was to but I'm just fascinated by how the were able to do stuff that would have been almost imposable to do with out what we have today but I love history altogether as a whole

3708472 I bet I know something you don't. meant to put (sheepishtwilight)

3708491 probably lots of people know stuff I don't and I don't care if people boast unless they act like there farts don't stink then I drop them down a notch or two but go on my friend what is it I don't know

3708499 Did you know that 5.9 million people died during the holocaust or did you know that 75 million people died during the black plague.

3708543 Black plague yes

Ring around a rosy, a pocket full of poise ashes, ashes, we all fall down

the worst child hood thing ever I mean why teach your kids that, I did that all the time when I was a kid now I'm scarred for life cause that. Holocaust no I didn't know that many people died. I guess you do learn something new everyday

3708600 Yay why would they teach kids that song it's messed up, plus rock a by baby is a bad song to.

3708632 yeah it is if there one nursery rhyme I like its the um crap I don't remember any of the good ones but I always remember what my mom would do to wake me up the sunshine song but that's the only thing I can remember from my childhood and I'm only 16 and I can't remember anything past my 12 birthday man that's bad but off topic so I need to learn some good one in case I ever have a kid when I'm older

3708656 My mom sang the same song and you're only 16 man not to many 16 year olds like history.

3708716 well when you grow up in a back hick town you gain a few hobbies others don't and that is how I became a brony history lover who has a part time job no girlfriend and some very awesome friends cause I can do some awesome shit in skyrim and many other video games and that's why gamer Luna is awesome and I plan on getting that RYSN game for Xbox 1 so I can see if its realistic and stuffs so I'm just a weird guy, it all happened many moons ago when I was like ten I was In the town library with my mom and I saw a book cover that intrigued me and sat down and read most of the book there I don't remember what book it was but it was about ancient Greece and it had a Spartan shield on it and I fell in love with its history, I've done three papers on the Greek gods each one got an A and I was all like "YEAH I knew reading would help me sooner or later in life" and I was right I still love to read to day anything from full blown novels to manga and I'm happy about that

3708801 I don't care for to many games and my first history book that made me like history was a text book. Plus is it okay to ask where you live.

3708832 Kentucky right smack dab in the middle of the fucker but I'm more east than anything and I live in Lee county just to let you know

3708841 I live in the heart of America. Ohio best state in the notion plus 8 presidents came from here. Also the worlds richest man lived and grew up in Ohio.

3708898 Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap good for you and why did you want to know where I live at

3708925 I'm just bored, not having any hobbies but thinking doesn't give you much to do. Also the richest man was Rockefeller, he had $350 billion.

3708955 YEAAAA AN INDI AND PONY FAN

3708183 hey the update might be this week if I get the chapter done by the time I go to work tomorrow

I don't like the idea of that whole group. Maybe if they have to meet up have the rest of the group die off and it's just Fluttershy, Kris, and maybe a few other people?

3712608 he's not going to be with the group the whole time just at random parts of the story but can't tell you cause