Ever wonder what happened in that altenate Equestria High School Uninverse? I did.

by Uncle Knot

Is everyone CRAZY?

Several phone calls later; Flash Sentry stopped his car in front of the blue house. Trixie came out, looked over his car approvingly and climbed in. They drove out to the fringe of town, down the country road, until they came to the Cape Cod house and trailer. Twilight was waiting outside with Spike. Flash was quick to get out of the car and flash his best smile at Twilight. He was also quick to jump back into the car, as Shining Armor in uniform came outside. The car speed off. Trixie and Twilight greeted each other, waved goodbye to Shining and walked off into the woods.

As they crossed the fence line, the farm lay before them. The hills were covered with grain. Beyond the grain fields were the apple orchard and the reason for the farm’s name. Twilight and Trixie didn’t know what to expect as they approached the barn. The doors were wide open, but it seemed dark inside. Where were the others?

“Grrr”

“Surprise” went the chorus

“Surprise” went Pinky Pie “Oh, darn I’m late again”

It was a great party, cupcakes and cake, apple cider and soda, streamers and balloons. Applejack played her fiddle. At last, as time slipped by and the evening sun began to set, twilight’s purple haze painted the sky.

“Okay, I’m here, and I had a great time, but I want to know”

“What do you want to know, sugar cube?”

“Why is everyone in this town CRAZY?”

“Well, that’s kinda hard to explain”

“Let me do it” said Sunset Shimmer. “It all started several years ago when my mentor and teacher, Princess Celestia took me under her wing”

“You mean Principal Celestia?”

“No Twilight, I mean Princess Celestia. In an alternate dimension, she is a princess. She taught me my magic.”

“Magic, you’re talking science fiction Sunset”

“Yes, Trixie, it isn’t like you’re magic. I really am from another dimension. Another dimension where magic is real and I was a unicorn.”

“So why did you come here?”

“Oh, I wanted something. I wanted more than what I had, but I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was power, but when Princess Celestia said no, I rebelled and came here.”

“So this Princess Celestia is a unicorn too?”

“No, she is more than that. She is an alicorn, something more than a unicorn and a pegasus combined. She raises the
sun for the day and the moon for the night with her magic.”

“She sounds like a god”

“In a way she is. She has ruled Equestria, the land where I am from, for 1000 years”

“She is Immortal?”

“Not exactly, as long as the ponies believe she is, she will be”

“Ponies?”

“The land of Equestria is inhabited by earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi, as well as other creatures”

“Sounds fantastic, why would you leave than to come here?”

“I didn’t know what I wanted till I got here”

“You wanted power?”

“I thought I did, until I meet you”

“Me?”

“Yes, you, or at least the other you from my dimension”

“The other me?”

“She came into this world to retrieve something I had stolen”

“What did you steal?”

“Her crown, I had returned to Equestria and traded the prom crown for hers. She followed me back here to get it back, and she did”

“That is where we come in, sugar cube”

“In the other dimension” interrupted Pinky

“Our other selves were her friends” interrupted Rainbow Dash

“And we helped her get the crown back” interrupted Rarity

“And Spike can talk” said Fluttershy

“So this other me has a crown? Wait, what? Spike can talk?”

“He told us he is a fire breathing dragon in that other dimension”

“What were you really seeking Sunset?”

“Friendship, friends like you have there, friends like you could have here”

“So for each of us in this dimension, there is another, there?”

“Basically, yes?”

“Another Trixie?”

“I suppose, but I never met her” answered Sunset

“So where is the Sunset Shimmer from this dimension?” asked Twilight

“Missing” stated Sunset

“Missing?” asked Twilight

“When I came to this dimension, I fit in so well, I didn’t realize the Sunset from this dimension was missing”

“Did you think to report her missing to the police?”

“I couldn’t do that; they would lock me up as a looney”

“Do you think she went to Equestria, like you came here?”

“When the doorway between dimensions is open, travel is possible either way”

“Dun, dun, dun” interjected Rainbow Dash. “We are going to have to go there to look for her”

Comments

[BenRG]

Interesting... Missing or possibly dead. A Sunset Shimmer who was apparently suffering from amnesia would have been picked up and brought to Celestia's attention almost immediately so, either she's been hidden away in Canterlot Castle (if so, why didn't Celestia send her home when the portal opened in EqG?) or she never went through the portal. Instead she...

I don't want to think too much about that.

[Ghrathryn]

Mate, slow the heck down. You're blitzing out chapters shorter than the average length scene in the fic I'm currently working on and it's not helping you when there are a considerable number of grammar mistakes and a number of spelling errors. Two I can think of off the top of my head. Epiphany and clique, both in chapter 4's first paragraph.

Also, this reads a lot closer to a script than a story, you're not limited to a set number of words in a chapter, heck my tendency is to aim for 5-10 thousand, which depending on how big scenes get could be 1-20 scenes on average. That gives me time to actually not only write what people are saying, but also who is saying it and give hints on what they're doing, what's going on around them and what people look like. Don't info-dump on a character, but always presume that the reader won't necessarily know who the characters are off the top of their heads, particularly if your version is different to the canon version, meaning you really ought to think about what the reader might want to know and how the story flows as you write it.