The Nerds Fable

by Serperior2

(3) Meet the princesses

And the banana hits the fan

I woke to a prodding sensation in my side, it wasn't painful, it just didn't feel good. Attempting to avoid being woken up before I was ready I rolled away from the direction I was being poked from. I heard the sounds of hooves hitting concrete hard, and I felt the prodding once more.

"Get up creature, your'e loitering."

"Huh?"

"I said your'e loitering, you gotta go."

I opened my eyes and saw a guard, he was standing over me with a conflicted look on his face. He seemed to want to be brave, but was scared absolutely shitless.

"Well if I can't sleep here where am I supposed to sleep?"

"Not my problem?" He seemed uncomfortable saying that to me, shying away slightly as he said it.

"Well, since I need somewhere to sleep, I don't enough money to get a place to sleep other than the streets, and the only applicable skill I have is brute force. You absolutely petutely sure it's not your problem?" Yeah that's right Pinkie Pie style, even when threatening someone.

"W-well... I ugh..."

I heard a snicker from around the corner of the alley we were in, and someone whispering, "absolutely petutely! Is this guy serious! Ha ha!" The voice sounded awfully familiar...

The guards face grew red in anger hearing the ponies statement.

"I'm sorry sir, I need to go back and teach my deputy a lesson about stealth, and professionalism."

"No go on ahead, I was just on my way anyway."

"Thank you for your cooperation mister...?"

Him asking me what my name was caused me to ponder. In almost every brony human in Equestria fanfic iv'e read the protagonist changed his name. New body comes with a new name after all. I thought about what I had done so far in Equestria. The first major thing being to slaughter a bear, and then I came to the crystal empire. I bought all my stuff. Nothing major. Then I thought of my Xbox Live gamer-tag. That'll do.

I noticed that the guard had been staring at me the whole time I was looking into space trying to think of a name. He seemed to be getting more nervous around me. "The names Goliath."

"Okay, Goliath. Thank you for your cooperation, please stay out of trouble."

He cantered out of the alleyway and began chewing out the young deputy. When I came out I saw with great satisfaction that it was Flash Sentry. I'm one of the bronies who absolutely despised Equestria Girls, especially the canon shipping going on in it. I gave him four middle fingers at once, and causing me even more satisfaction he was visually insulted by the quadruple four finger salute I gave him. Hell yeah.

I once again looked around for a place to sleep. Finally deciding to climb up onto one of the many unoccupied ledges on the side of the castle, and got as cozy as you can in a rock hard 90 degree platform. But alas, it seemed like the guard had other ideas for me, as I was once again woken up, this time by the bronies enemy number one himself.

"What? I'm trying to sleep."

"Your'e loitering, this time on government property, two times in a row is a fine, ape.

"What the hell do you people do with bums around here anyway?"

"Our economy is too stable for ponies to go homeless."

"Right, so how about you just let it slide this time, hmm?"

"Sorry, I didn't find you myself, the princess herself saw you climb up. She wants to talk with you, though why someone like her would want to talk with a beast like you I wouldn't know," he snarled.

"Can't a guy get any sleep around here?"

"I'm afraid not."

I looked at him, and then I looked down. There was already a small crowd gathering around a petite pink princess who was beginning to look impatient. I sighed, and grabbed my pack. Time to take this body for another test drive. I carefully leaned over the edge, dropped down, and grabbed onto the underside of the ledge, swinging off of it, letting it go,doing a back flip, and dropping neatly all all six limbs.

"Quite a show don't you think?" The pretty pink one herself speaks.

"Yes, yes it is. I heard you want to speak with me, in the middle of the night, and you feel the need to wake me up to do so."

She smirked. "Well, if you hadn't been sleeping on an off limits area I could have waited until the morning. If you like I could give you a room in the castle and we can talk in the morning."

I raised an eyebrow.

"You are a human, are you not?"

That threw me off. How could she know about humans? Then again, there was that portal to think about.But how did she know that I was one?

Noticing my surprise, she continued. "You're not the first one to come to our world. There are many others that have visited recently. Princess Celestia is doing her best to document as many as she can, as well as treat them since many seem to have been brought over with severe mental disorders."

"Not the first huh? How much do you know about us?"

"Iv'e heard you're a very warlike species, you are extremely capable of both love and hate, and you are much more technologically advanced than us. I think I heard something about some having heard of this world before coming here. I believe they call themselves brownies, or brawneys, something like that."

"Brony, were called bronies. It's a combination of bro and pony. We were originally all men."

"Ah so you're one of them?"

"Eeyup."

"Ah good. So I suppose that means you know me better than I you."

"Maybe, I've only seen you three times. At your wedding, the invasion of the Crystal Empire by Sombra, and the time Twilight helped you get picked for the Equestria Games. Oh and the time Sunset Shimmer stole Twilights crown."

"Well it's good to know I don't have to introduce myself further. Would you like to come inside now? We're drawing a crowd. Oh and Shining, I think it's safe, you can come out now."

There was a shimmer next to her and a white stallion with a blue mane appeared. We are not alone.

"Sup," I said as casually as I could.

"Hello." I think we have a second place for the best evil eye in the MLP universe.

,"Shining be nice, he hasn't done anything wrong."

"Hmph."

They led me into the entrance of the castle. It wasn't all bright and sparkly or anything. There were a few reflections off of some torches in pedestals going down the middle of the castle in a row. We went through a few corridors and even passed through the rotunda Pinkie did a terrible job at describing. As we passed through I made sure to say "Wow, What a big round room. It must be known for it's roundness, did I mention it's round?" Both just gave me an odd look, I just said, "Ask Pinkie Pie about it. She'll get it."

We passed through a few more corridors and finally We found ourselves in a large round room. It looked just like the one Twilight stayed in in the movie, but they might all look like this. I came in, Shining Armor and I took a look at the bed, I wasn't sure I would fit, or if it would support my weight. Shining seemed to have the same idea and levitated it off and placed it on the floor in the middle of the room.

I laid down on it to test it out, way to small. I sat up and shrugged. The stallion trotted off and came back with another mattress and what appeared to be a couch cushion. Lookee there! I was getting the royal treatment!

After I laid down and gave the thumbs up to show I was comfortable, and they cantered off to leave me to myself. Hopefully now I can get a full nights sleep.

Author's Note:

If anyone has any cool ideas for where the story goes, feel free to comment. I'm not basing it entirely off fan input but it would be cool to get some ideas.

Comments

[Serperior2]

3584596 Oh sweet Celestia is that embarrasing

[prince mi amore mystic]

i lik it

[theFlancy Mernin]

Goliath meets the Neverending Stairs.

[Ninjahzzzz]

3585519 He'd probably solve it with the aforementioned beserker rage

[Blue Spark]

He needs to hunt evil monsters that live in the frozen north, and while he's at it he runs into an expedition team of explorers and finds hidden frozen treasure.
A.K.A. he meets Daring Doo.
That's all I got for ideas.

[Serperior2]

3585519 he would just drop down them several at a time. Gorillas can do that.

[Serperior2]

3585641I already have something of the like in mind. Not daring do tho. Feel free to make guesses at who it is. Theyve already met.