Discord's Home for Cosmic Misfits

by Knowledge

Prologue for the General

General Hooves, I am ready,” says the white unicorn at my right.

“Give me a moment, Lieutenant,” I reply solemnly.

I am thinking about the deal I struck with Discord to bring me and anypony who would follow to an Equestria that does not yet know war is not some trick, which it likely is given Discord is the lord of chaos. I also hope this 'friendship training' and supervising 'transdimensional beings' that draconequus has me doing in his Home for Cosmic Misfits wont take much time because I want my army out in the field as soon as possible to defend Equestria from any existential threats.

In front of me is a platform, freshly built with wood from the Everfree Forest. I admit I am quite nervous about the crazy idea I am about to pitch to my army and the civilians who were refused refuge in Canterlot.

My new golden helmet fits awkwardly over gray horn on my head. I try to adjust it, but whatever I do just messes my yellow mane more. The horn is also a new addition to my head. It grew magically when I had tapped into the power of my fellow soldiers, leading them to victory against our final foe.

I check my eye patch over my right eye next. Its purpose was to hide my lazy eye. Without the eye patch, I would look silly; with it, I looked like a mare who knew how to fight.

Around my neck and down my back rests a red cloak with the Equestria Sun and Moon surrounded by my Cutie Mark on it. There was also Rarity's Cutie Mark in the bottom right corner to tell anypony that she personally made this cloak. A Cutie Mark represents what makes everypony unique. My Cutie Mark was seven bubbles. Again, this only cause me more difficulty in gaining the respect of other equines, for who would think that a pony whose purpose was bubbly would be able to come up with new and gruesome ways to defeat the griffons.

The purpose of the cloak was two-fold. First, it marked any soldier, including myself, as a part of the Northern Equestrian Army. Second, it kept us warm in the cold weather of Griffonia. It was winter in Equestria, despite the lack of snow, so we continue to wear the cloaks.

Underneath the cloak aside from my gray wings, I had an golden armor, which is standard for all commissioned officers. I am not a real commissioned officer being a civilian-turned-general, but my army was not known for caring to much for those technical details. We all had to take up legs when the griffons blitzkreiged our villages and salted the earth.

After checking that all was in place, I walk up to the platform. Nervousness grips me a little again so, I make a quick glance around me. To my left, there is the empty spot where Timber Roots would have stood had he agreed to my proposal. Timber Roots was the leader of the civilian ponies and as I expect did not take kindly to the crazy idea I was about to propose. To my right, there is a white unicorn with a talent for morale boosting and epic song-making Lieutenant Sweetie Belle, also known as Liberty Belle for her incredible rapport among the freed lions.

I waited for Lt. Belle to start her magic which would amplify my voice and make it more charismatic. I is going to need it if I had any shot at convincing as many ponies and lions to join me to another dimension all together.

“Citizens, freed lions, soldiers. Today, we must look into ourselves and decide who we are. Are we the ponies, or lions, who run away at danger, who cower at the face of change. Are we capable of sacrificing it all so that those who matter to us can live?

“Don't look at me for the answer. Only you can decide to follow me in the only option I found. It is probably the most ludicrous thing anypony has ever heard. None of you would ever expect it from me.

“I want you, be you equine or feline, join me in saving Equestria in another dimension. Not only will we have a second chance avoid the catastrophe that destroyed us, but we will be able to live our beautiful country again.”

The crowd shouts in confusion. I wait for it to die down.

“You do not need to believe me, only give me a chance to prove that it is possible to go to this dimension. All you have to do is enter your tent in the next twelve hours and your tent will be part of a magical building of sorts.”

Again my audience of tens of thousands responds in confusion. This is a lot to lay on a pony, and it took even me awhile to accept the possibility despite the fact that it came when I had no other choice. If this works, I will not have to see my soldiers turn against the Central Army in Canterlot under their general, the depressed and angry Twilight Sparkle.

“I remind you that Twilight blames us for the death of the princess. She sees us as those who invited Screwball, daughter of Discord into our land when we finished the war by invading Griffonia. She sees me, your general, who is now an alicorn, as the one who stole Celestia's power after her untimely death in the fight with that Tartarus spawn.

“I find this terribly ironic given that it is Twilight herself who sits upon Celestia's thrown calling me the usurper. It has been more than a thousand years since the last unicorn has sat upon the Canterlot thrown, and many of you may know how that led to birth of Discord, lord of chaos, and the tyranny that followed.

“What's more she won't admit though is it is we who defeated the Griffons. It is we who came back and saved her when the neither Princess Celestia nor the Elements of Harmony could stop Screwball. It was your strength, given to me, that allowed me to become an alicorn.

“Because she blames us, she has forbidden the soldiers and freed lions among our ranks entry into Canterlot where we deserve ceremony for our valiant efforts. You civilians here recognize this and have joined us and because of that are too forbidden entry into Canterlot.

“Because of this we have three choices. First is let Twilight win and die starving on this barren wasteland that used to be a paradise for ponies. Second is fight Twilight to the last pony and die still because her army has all the advantages and she will have made sure that everything is perfectly defended by the books. I know many of you expect me to bring out something she wont expect, and I already had many such plans until the offer to abandon this Tartarus hole was given to me. Which leads me to your third choice, you can let Twilight win but not starve by having the abundance that their transdimensional being has offered me.”

At this point my audience was just listening. I had grabbed them by their emotions and planted the need to fully understand my offer. Most have only heard stories of other worlds like our own from old unicorn tales. The civilians would probably think I am completely lost it, but again I only needed them to test my theory and their lives would be saved.

“I have been promised by this being of great power a second chance to save Equestria and I am allowed to bring anything with me. I have chosen any pony or lion willing to join me and their personal belongings. Each will receive room and board in a magical building until they leave, in which they must live in a pre-war Equestria until our time to take that which is deep inside of us and show Equestria we are the heroes that it needs. You have twelve hours to make your choice. Dismissed.”

With that, I is finished. My soldiers gave me a salute, and I back.

I walk off the platform where Ponyville City Hall once stood. Lt. Belle followed me until she realized where I is going.

I walked down the road, my red cloak flopping slightly in the wind. I saw Sugarcube Corner, its once vibrant colors now gray. I saw the brown leaves and charred exterior of Golden Oaks Library, a literal tree house. None of this compared with the devastation I is about to come upon. Buildings could be rebuilt, but the land took much longer to heal. The griffons had not been satisfied with destroying our homes. No, they wanted to take the pride of each of the three pony breeds, and the Earth Ponies prided themselves in the fertility of Equestrian soil. Now, their earth is salted.

Before me lies the graveyard that had once been Sweet Apple Acres, an Apple Orchard with considerable amount of livestock as well. Each tree in the orchard once carrying some of the most prized apples in all the nation now a field of death.

I did not come here for the loss of buildings or the trees. I came here for a pony's grave.

Ahead of me, I could finally see the four graves of the Apple family. One pony, Apple Bloom, the youngest daughter the Apple family of Ponyville and the highest ranking young adult in the Youth Brigade, a captain. She is a sixteen-year-old yellow-coated, red-maned earth pony. She had gained her rank through immense talent in building fortifications and managing supplies. Since the Youth Brigade mostly functioned in helping transporting supplies and building fortifications, her War Talent just fit perfectly. As a captain, she commands a company of one hundred colts and fillies and perhaps some cubs.

I finally reached the top of the Hill. From here, I could see dead trees and mud for a couple miles.

“Yah know. We put these graces on top of the hill so that our family could see how good our farm is doing.” Apple Bloom explains to me without turning from the freshest grave. Earth ponies tended to believe in spirits and other things, especially those who lived by the Everfree Forest. Sweet Apple Acres is bordered by the Everfree Forest.

I looked at the graves for the second time this day. The first too are of Apple Bloom's parents. They had died not too long after her mother had given birth to Apple Bloom. Next is Granny Smith who we had all expected to die of old age long ago, but had died defending the farm during the griffon blitzkreig.

Finally, there is Big Macs grave. The stone marking it is of fine marble. I had the material provided, and Apple Bloom had made the inscription, which simply read “Big Mac, died steadfast an Equestrian”. Nothing could be closer to the truth. Big Mac had a special place in my council not only because I loved him. The big red earth pony constantly reminded me what it meant to be a pony. More than once had he stopped me from completely becoming a monster with a strength of conviction that was only matched by his physical strength.

Big Mac had died from an infection shortly after we took the capital of Griffonia. I had granted him a hero's burial when we had made a march back to Equestria to protect it from a chaotic monster, Screwball.

“My brother wouldn't want me to be cryin' like this,” confesses Apple Bloom. I stay with my young soldier. It does not miss me that I am comforting her by just standing silently by her side just like her brother did for us both many times before. If anything, Big Mac was known for being a stallion of few words.

We stand there brooding over what ifs and dreams of a pre-war Equestria. This is our good-bye.

“We should go,” Apple Bloom states but does not move. If she had the tears left, she would probably still be crying.

The young yellow mare just stands there telling me and herself that we need to go. For both of us, it is not another dimension part that scares us as much as what will happen to the ponies here. The war changed us so much.

I wait for Apple Bloom to move and take her right flank so that I do not have to turn my head so much to see her.

“How did the Youth Brigade take the news?” I ask, trying to get her mind on her work. I try to be casual with my fellow Ponyvillians and those in the Youth Brigade. It helps me have a illusion of normalcy.

“Some of them are afraid, but most of them are really excited. They just want to....” Apple Bloom does not finish before crying again. It has been hard for Apple Bloom, losing her brother and having her sister turn to stone in the same week.

“I am sorry General. For crying, that is. It just... do you think we will be able to see our families again.” Apple Bloom continues.

“I don't know, Captain,” I honestly reply. I hadn't thought about ponies' families on the other side, being a single mother with no family of which to speak. Also, Discord had not tell me much about what it would be like in his dimension. All I know is that Ponyville, Fluttershy, and peace exist there. “If anypony's family is there, they have permission to meet them so long as they are supervised by another soldier. I will flesh out the details later.”

“Thank you General Hooves, ma'am,” Apple Bloom replies with a large toothy smile despite the wetness on her checks.

We continue our trot back to camp. The tents our step up in the fields north of Ponyville. Apple Bloom leaves for the youth section while I go to the tent for the highest officers.

I finally get to my tent. I have a small table set up in front since I cannot actually get inside without risking being pulled into the other dimension.

I sit down and notice that somepony had been following me. It is an orange pegasus wearing a Specialist uniform under her red cloak. Even without looking at the Rarity's Cutie Mark on the side I already know she is from Ponyville. The scar on her right cheek marks the mare as having gone through griffon torture.

The pegasus salutes me and salute back and then take my seat. I indicate with my left hoof for her to take a seat I have set up for guests.
“General Hooves, I am Specialist Scootaloo under Major Carrot Top. I came here because I want to decline the promotion you gave me.”

I make sure to personally learn about the heroics of ponies in each battle so that I can give out promotions. I look at the pegasus in front of me.

“And why would you decline a promotion. Do you not want to lead troops?” I ask.

Scootaloo just looks me straight in the eye. “No, General, ma'am, I do not want to lead anypony.”

“Scootaloo, I remember you from Ponyville. You were friends with Lieutenant Sweetie Belle and Captain Apple Bloom. All three of you were quite infamous in your attempts to earn your Cutie Marks. Now all of you have your War Talents and are heroes in your own right. I remember why I gave you your promotion. You had successfully escape capture in Wingapeg with two emaciated lions. I remembered that your record stated that you had been up for promotion several times, yet you refused each one based on one of Rainbow Dash's policies. Do you know what I also told Major Top?”

“Yes, General, ma'am. You told Major Top that if I were to refuse this promotion, I was to come to you and discuss it.” the specialist replies without flinching.

“I know it has been a long time since Wingapeg. I assume you like many others had to stay in Mount Nested until I gave the order to retreat from Griffonia.”

“Yes, General, ma'am.”

“Did you take the role of Second Lieutenant until I was able to make a decision about your rejection of the promotion?” I ask almost whimsically. This breaks Scootaloo strong front. These ponies,even horrifically scarred Scootaloo, are all children really. A pony was never meant to grow up and deal with real responsibilities. They were suppose to have parties, forget about the resident unicorn's town destroying mistakes, and learn about friendship.

“Uh, no, ma'am, I mean General, ma'am.” Scootaloo frantically responds.

“I hope you know what I will have to do now.” I say somewhat ominously. The statement is rhetorical, and I am pretty sure Scootaloo does know what happens when a pony disobeys me because she and all the other Ponyvillians were there when I started leading ponies.

“You send them to the front lines without armor, General, ma'am.” It was a death sentence in most battles but the ponies who survived it were rewarded. Needless to say, those who survived never disobeyed again and many actually support my punishment.

“So you are going to stay with me and join me on the front lines in a minute Lieutenant Scootaloo. Your friends and my daughter will be joining you.” I say with a small grin.

Scootaloo stares at me, confused and then smiles too.

I am too nice to these foals, but I cannot help but love them like the family I never had. Sweetie Belle with her inspirational songs, Apple Bloom with her thoughtfulness to what ponies need and want, and Scootaloo with her ability to infiltrate and escape any place with lethal agility. That is why her Cutie Mark, or war talent as I called it, was a black feather with a metal point.