Good bye, Spike (Main story)

by Zweiterversuch

Chapter 1: Spike is acting weird

"Twilight, Twilight! Hey!"

Spike ran down the hallway of Canterlot castle hoping to draw Twilight's attention towards him.
The new alicorn princess was busy as usual. Around her ten maybe twelve ponies, some of them unicorns, some others pegasi or earth ponies, walked matching her speed, reproaching, commenting and advising on the decisions made and taken that had or would affect Equestria's future later on.
Twilight did her best to find a solution to all the problems presented to her while fencing off eloquently the hurtful comments or destructive critiques the ponies threw at her.

Spike didn't understand much about those matters, but from the distance he saw her do well as a new ruler. Not even for an instant did she lose her cool, nor did she run away or push the presented issues for later. She faced them one at a time suggesting possible ways of solving each problem. It somehow reminded him of how Celestia or Luna did things.

"Twilight, Twilight!"
"Spike."

She turned around slowly and saw him run towards her. One of her hooves was lifted in the air to let the ones around her know she wanted them to be quiet. The ponies stopped talking at once and lowered their heads with their eyes closed.

"What is it, Spike?"
"Ugh...well..."

Although he did want to draw her attention, there was nothing really special or important to talk about. He just wanted to hear her talk again to him once more. Lately he had been feeling quite lonely. No longer was he able to assist her. The knowledge he had acquired during his life with Twilight was not needed anymore. Now the youngest princess needed to know more about the kingdom's economics, social tendencies and many other things Spike knew nothing of.

"Well, Twilight, you see...I was wondering...maybe if you have time later...of course that is if you are ok with it..."

While scratching the back of his head Spike did his best to come up with a valid excuse for his interruption, but failed miserably at it.

"Ehmm...aaaahmmm..."

"Could he please hurry up?"
"Dear heavens and for this we stopped?"
"Doesn't he understand there are more pressing matters than a dragon's babbling?"

The circle of ponies around the princess grew impatient. Their whispered critics at the dragon caused Spike to grow even more nervous. Spike almost cried due to their glares and the pressure on him.

"That is enough. You don't have the right to say such things about Spike."

Twilight's voice was clear and full of authority. The whispers and critics ceased, and instead a warm voice of a friend washed away all the worries he might had.

"Tell me, Spike, how can I help you?"
-"I was wondering if we could meet tonight for dinner together. I'm sure that the food the royal chefs give you is great, but I was thinking that maybe you'd like to enjoy a couple of Spike-made dandelion sandwiches and, you know, talk?"

Spike waited for the answer. It took Twilight awfully long to say anything. Spike even thought she would say no, but betraying, luckily, all those expectations she only said she'd be delighted to do so. A smile adorned her face and somehow she seemed to beam with happiness, a sight that had become quite rare in the last months.

"Great. I'll start working on the preparations right away."

He ran in the opposite direction Twilight and the other ponies were headed. In the distance he heard a pony comment with bitterness on what he considered a waste of time for a princess. But Spike also heard Twilight tell him that how a princess wastes her time is nothing of his business.

" He he, Twilight has really changed."

Spike couldn't help but get more and more aware of the fact that Twilight was becoming a princess not only in name, but also in behavior. Despite feeling happy about it, there was also a pain in his chest that he could only express in a wish no one would ever know.

"I just wish she'd rely on me more. It doesn't feel like I'm her number one assistant anymore."

It happened gradually, but the hallway turned brighter for some reason. The sounds of the environment became quieter, even his footsteps ceased making any sound. In the eerie silence of the hallway that just a few moments ago felt like nothing special, there suddenly was a dreamlike atmosphere.
Spike was worried. Not because of this strange turn of events, but because this wasn't the first time something like this happened.
On past occasions his spontaneous daydreams assaulted him without notification, but they weren't as vivid as this one.

-"How silly."

"What?"

-"Right. Surely it is something Grandmother made up in order to get us to rely less on you."

"Do you think so?"

-"Don't ponder much on the meaning of her words, sister. He'll always be our number one assistant, right?"

"Huh?"

Bright ponies of different colors ran right next to Spike. One of them was a white winged pony with a pink mane, the other one was dark blue with a curly hair, and the last one was a small pink little filly with long and wavy hair. In the distance he heard the voice of a mare. She said something Spike couldn't hear clearly.

"... part from growing up..."

Spike did not remember meeting the ponies around him, but somehow he felt as if he had known them for a long time.

"Who...who are you?"

Confused Spike looked at the three of them hoping to recognize them, but he couldn't. There was just a faint sensation in his chest that told him they were special to him before.

-"You jest surely!"
-"You...you don't remember us already?"
"........."

Spike ashamed. He couldn't tell who they were, not even a single one. But he felt disappointed by the fact he had broken a promise with them.

"S-sorry. I...I just..."

Strangely Spiked kept running. The hallway seemed to go on forever. The four of them ran for what seemed to be hours unable to reach the end. No corridor in the castle was long enough, but Spike didn't pay attention to that bit of common sense. He just continued running forward.

-"Hmph! This is by no means funny. We're here caring about you and yet you..."
-"........."
"Girls, as mother said it is inevitable. We can't blame it on him."

The blue pony turned around a corner followed by the pink one.

-" I...I'll go back to my room, hmph!"

Before following the other two the third pony gave Spike a sad look adorned confusingly by an understanding smile.

"I apologize. I understand that being you is hard.
Don't worry. I'll go talk with them."

She then disappeared around the corner. Spike didn't know why but he had to follow them.

"Wait!"

He tried to go after them, but he wasn't able to enter the same corridor they did.

There was a loud thud and pain spread across Spike's skull. His sight turned black and his mouth tasted a little like tree bark. Spike fell on his tail due to the hit. The surface he fell on that didn't quite feel like the stone tiles of Canterlot castle.

"Woah, Spike, are you alright?"

A stallion's voice called out for Spike in the darkness. Putting great effort in doing so Spike opened his eyes and saw Shinning armor, Twilight's brother, looking down to his face.

"Ough...my head...what happened?"

"That's what I would like to ask you. You came out of the castle running, then you suddenly headed straight for this tree right here and...well...almost smashed your head against it. I'm actually quite surprised you aren't bleeding."

"Tree?"

Spike rubbed his eyes in order to clear his vision a little since the hit had caused him to see blurry for a few moments. But just as Shinning armor told him, he sat right in front of an oak that now had a slight print of his face.

"But...how can that be? I was...I was in the castle. I was running down a hallway with three ponies and...ah!"

Spike jumped back on his feet in surprise at a sudden realization.

"The ponies!"
"What ponies?"
"I...there were some ponies running next to me...didn't you see them?"

Shinning armor placed a hoof on Spike forehead and with a laugh he wondered if Spike had maybe hit the tree harder than he thought.

"There were no ponies Spike. As I told you before, you came out of the castle in a hurry and then crashed against this tree. There was nopony else around you."

"But...but...I was...running because...because...
eh? why was I running?"

"It's ok, little guy. Don't force your brain to work after that hit. We'll worry if you still can't remember it after a couple of hours."

"I..."

Spike rubbed his head and looked at the ground trying to remember exactly what just happened. Following Shining's advice and seeing that trying to remember would be of no use, Spike just sighed and let it be.

"Alright. We'll see later if I can remember it."

Shinning armor laughed cheerfully and patted Spike in the back. The white unicorn then proceeded to wrap one of his hooves around the dragon's neck and together they walked towards the castle entrance.

"Cadence and I are visiting you guys. It has been so long since we have seen Equestria that we just couldn't resist coming on a short vacation. A couple of days though. Nothing too long. Our duties wouldn't allow us to."

"Oh, so Cadence is here as well? Great!"

"Looks like you really love having us around, huh?"

"Yes! It is perfect. Twilight will surely come if you and Cadence come as well. Ah! I remember now!"

Shining didn't understand what Spike was talking about, so the little dragon had to elaborate a little more.

"I...well...I wanted to spend some time with Twilight today, so I told her we could have some sandwiches later. If you guys come, there's no way she won't come!"

"Oh, so you are inviting me to a date you had planned with my sister?"

Shining teasingly hit Spike's side with his elbow. Spike quickly moved his head from side to side, making sure that it was clear that was no date.

"W-what are you saying? This wasn't date. I...it's just...you know...I thought maybe we could spend some time together tonight. And...it'd be better if you two could come."

The grown unicorn took his time to reply to the invitation, surely in order to play around with Spike, but at the end he agreed and with a wide smile he accepted.

"So, what did you have in mind, little guy?"
"Something simple, some sandwiches, some music, maybe a couple of games to play until tomorrow morning."
"Until tomorrow morning!?"

Shining's sudden outburst made Spike jump in surprise.

"W-what is it, Shining?"
"Spike, if it's going to last until tomorrow morning..."

Spike suddenly felt sad. But he should have realized it though. Busy ponies like them and Twilight don't have the time anymore for such long reunions. It'd be best he give himself satisfied with a short meal with all of them on the same table.

-"It's ok, Shining, if you or Cadence cant stay up that long, then we will just eat something and call it a ni..."
"...I better make some arrangements."
-"Eh?"

Spike took his eyes away from the ground and looked up at the blue eyes of the unicorn. Shining was smiling. With one of his massive hooves he pet the dragon's head and said he better hurry up.

"I'll make sure we have tomorrow's morning free so we can sleep until late. You go and wait for me in the kitchen."

With that the unicorn left, surely to talk with Cadence about the invitation. Spike started to run again after a few moments. His chest felt warm and fuzzy. Shining was a great guy. He had been his sister's assistant for the longest time, yet they never really spent much time together.

"What a waste. I looks like we could have been great friends too."

As he made his way towards the castle's kitchen Spike wondered about that last statement.

"What is wrong with me? It isn't like this is going to be the last time we were going to meet. This could very well be the day our friendship starts for good."

But for some reason deep inside him he couldn't truly believe his own words.

Comments

[this community is bad]

wat

[TheGreatEater]

Twilight did her best to find a solution to all the problems presented to her while fencing off eloquently the hurtful comments or destructive critics the ponies threw at her.

critiques
_______________________

"Twilight, Twilight!"
-"Spike?"

what's up with -"Spike?" what's the - for?

I'm not going to

quote tag

all of those -"dialog." things. But it's not only distracting it's improper grammatically. Even then if you were aiming for a pause an eclipse (...) would be better. Although then I'd ask what the pause was for. But you have the story littered with it.
________________________

"That is enough. You don't have the right to say such a things about Spike."

delete.
_________________________

"I just wish she'd rely on me more.
It doesn't feel like I'm her number one assistant anymore."

one line.
___________________________

-"Girls, as mother said it is inevitable. We can't blame it on him."

this should be pink. Also since you stop using colors later on. Please go through your fic and make sure the texts that need to be colored are colored.

_________________________________

OK! So here's the thing, I'm not going to read the rest of the fic, but I want to give some constructive criticism.

1) Stop breaking paragraphs in the middle. You'll have one or even a few sentences.
Then do this thing where you'll finish the rest of the paragraph on different lines.

2) -"dialog" isn't appropriate use of an en dash.

3) If you are using colored text, keep the colors of speakers colored. Even if it is the two mystery ponies (Stopped reading shortly after they were shown) that are the only colored talkers. Keep tabs on them and highlight as appropriate.

Best of luck to you.