2 - Thunderwings
Soarin’ opened his eyes and saw the rainbow. It was everywhere, spreading out over the sky in flame. Strands of it were caught under his forehooves. He seemed to be flying, despite the fact his wings were being crushed down by something on top of him.
“Awwww yeah!” the thing under him yelled. Soarin’ nearly jumped out of his wings. He was on a pony. The silk under his hooves wasn’t a rainbow at all, it was a mane.
Rainbow Dash. Oh Thunder, it was Rainbow Dash.
The ridiculous clump of ponies on her back slowed as the stadium grew closer. “I didn’t think I was going to have to rescue you too,” Rainbow Dash huffed with exertion. “Almost there…”
The stands roared with applause. Pegasi rushed to unload the two injured Wonderbolts. Soarin’ squeezed out from under them. Rarity must have kicked Spitfire in the head especially hard: a black blotch was starting to spread over her jawline. Soarin’ looked away and drifted to a patch of unoccupied clouds near the base of the stadium, ignoring the falling confetti and streamers stuck in his mane. It took the announcer and Princess Celestia a moment to get the crowd under control before they could set the golden winged laurels on the Best Young Flyer’s head, a gray mare who'd performed earlier.
Soarin’ watched without really seeing from his spot on the sidelines. His shock about what had just happened was interrupted by that cocky, defiant voice.
“Hey, you’re way too fast for your own good. You know the ground’ll hit you if you fly at it like that. Believe me, I know,” Rainbow Dash said.
Soarin’ gaped. Was he dreaming? He blinked. She was still standing there, clad in lightning yellow and sky blue, haloed by rainbow mist left over from the legendary Sonic Rainboom. Despite the ponies in the stands calling out to her and telling her how awesome she was, she was looking at him.
He laughed in spite of himself. “I wasn’t trying to hit the ground. It’s too easy a target.”
The Wonderbolt’s eyebrows arched in amusement. “What’s your name? I’m Rainbow Dash by the way, in case you didn’t know. Sometimes ponies forget each of us have names besides ‘That Wonderbolt.’”
“Soarin’.”
“Now don’t get me wrong,” she said, “I love winning, but sometimes it’s not the winner you have to watch out for. I didn’t see anybody else dive off the stands when that mare fell.”
“Oh, it was nothing.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.
Dash grinned and turned to leave. “You know, for a second back there I thought you were going to…” She shook her head. “No, never mind.” She spread her wings. “Well, gotta jet. See ya around.”
Soarin’ relived that conversation in his head dozens of times. Direct compliments from a Wonderbolt. But no, no matter how many times he replayed it, he wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to be a Wonderbolt.
Now he only had one chance to make up for losing the Best Young Flier Competition: the Grand Galloping Gala.
---
Thunderlane kicked a cloud out of Soarin’s path. “Hey, that was mine!” Soarin' said.
“Too slow. You’ve had your head in the clouds lately, Soarin’.”
“Yeah, but that’s what happens when you’re on weather patrol.”
Cloudchaser shook her head. “Ha ha. Very funny. Now would you two get back to work? My fur is getting soaked.”
They gathered the rainclouds together at the edge of town to take them out. Soarin’ and Thunderlane kicked away the top level. Cloudchaser chose to work on the second level so they would finish faster. The gray puffs Soarin’ was in charge of rained all over the mare below. Her drenched spiky mane plastered all over her face.
Thunderlane kicked a cloud so the thunderbolt it shot zoomed past Cloudchaser. “You could come up here with us, you know!” he shouted.
“You guys talk too much.”
Soarin’ shrugged and aimed a back kick at another cloud. A black blur that was Thunderlane weaved in and out of the stormy mass, trying to keep the sky above Cloudchaser clear. It was like watching a dance. For every move Cloudchaser made, Thunderlane was her shadow above. Soarin’ tried to ignore them and get his job done.
When they finished, Cloudchaser shook her mane out and got Thunderlane all wet. “Now we can talk,” she said.
Water droplets slid down the black stallion’s unimpressed face. “Great.”
The mare ignored Thunderlane. “How’s things with Twilight?” she asked Soarin’.
“Good, actually. It’s kind of funny how one pony brought me together with ponies I’ve known most of my life but never really felt like I was friends with. Pinkie Pie’s not as annoying as I thought she was. Even AJ and I don’t argue as much as we used to.”
“That’s weird,” Thunderlane commented. “I could’ve sworn you two were bitter rivals or something from the way you’re getting into competitions all the time.”
“We still do, but the energy’s different now. I’m not sure how to explain it. I don’t feel like I need to win all the time. It’s more fun.”
“Huh,” Cloudchaser said. “Sounds like it’s good for you. Come on, I think Flitter’s team is probably done by now. We should go out at get something to eat. How’s Fluttershy? Is she still too timid to come out with us?”
The pegasi talked while they made their way back to town.
---
Soarin’ watched the fashionista scrunch the yellow fabric and pin it to make a ruffle.
“Wow, Rarity, that dress looks great," Twilight said.
“This is just the lining, dear. I do hope I’ll be able to finish in time for the gala. I’ve had so many orders lately and not much time for personal projects.”
Soarin’ didn’t have much use for fashion. He'd been with Twilight when a button fell off her gala gown. She needed someone who could put it back on.
Rarity took one look at the simple dress. “Oh nononono. Twilight, we are going to a royal ball. That might do for an everyday outing, but the gala? I simply cannot allow you to have your best night ever in something so casual. I’ll make a dress for you.”
Twilight opened her mouth to protest but Rarity was too quick. “No, shh! Don’t say anything. It would be an honor.”
Twilight beamed. “That’s so generous of you, Rarity. Thank you!”
The snowy unicorn held fabrics up to Twilight’s fur to see how they matched. Twilight made an effort not to flinch. She looked at Soarin’. “Soarin’, you should have brought your outfit so Rarity could see it.”
“Yes, what are you going to wear?” Rarity asked with excitement glittering in her large blue eyes.
“Oh. Nothing.”
Rarity groaned. “’Nothing!’ You can’t go to the gala naked. It would be scandalous. Goodness, I assume all five of you will need my expertise. I will make spectacular attire for all of us, then.”
Soarin’ was accosted by a tape measure and a floating clipboard with a pencil that took notes.
“Honestly, 'nothing,'” Rarity grumbled. “Quit squirming. I’m taking your measurements.”
---
On the week of the Grand Galloping Gala Soarin’ was busy inspecting some cupcakes at Sugar Cube Corner when Ponyville’s trio of troublemakers burst in.
“Finally!” Scootaloo shouted. “I never thought we would find you. I mean, we had to listen to practically every cutie mark story in town to get here,” she complained.
Judging from the five sets of annoyed eyes that moved to the orange filly, it must have been the other Elements of Harmony that had shared their stories.
Scootaloo felt the cold glare and backed off. “Er. They were interesting, I guess.”
Soarin’ turned to face the fillies, mouth stuffed with a cupcake. “So I take it you wanted to hear my cutie mark story?” he spoke around the dessert.
“Yes.”
Soarin’ held a hoof up for silence while he finished chewing. He swallowed. “It was just there when I woke up one morning.”
Applebloom scratched her head, confused. “Huh?”
“Really?” Twilight said. “I’ve never heard of a pony getting their mark like that before. Especially when yours is…”
Fluttershy said, “Um. Soarin’.”
He threw his wings up in defeat. “Okay, ya got me. This story starts back when I was in flight school.”
~~~
“Hey!” Soarin’ shouted. The colt pushed himself between Fluttershy and the three bullies. “You picked a fight and didn’t invite me?”
The dark gray pony backed off. “What’s this, she your girlfriend or something Snorin’?”
“She’s a girl and she’s my friend, so yeah, whatever. Now scram.”
Fluttershy huddled on the edge of the cloud with tears welling in her eyes. The bullies weren’t finished making themselves feel powerful by picking on her, so they refused to leave. The gray colt prodded Soarin’. “Says who? I think we should prove who’s the top pony around here once and for all, Snorin’. You want to be a Wonderbolt so bad? Race us.”
“You’re on.”
They gathered some other cadets to witness the race, lined up at the starting line, and took off. Almost instantly the wind screamed in Soarin’s ears, but it was strange. It sounded disturbingly like a pony. Even when Soarin’ slowed his pace the screaming continued. He scanned the skies and there, down in the direction of the ground, was a yellow blot hurtling toward earth.
The young colt swore and rocketed toward the blot. Fluttershy was not a strong flier. If she was panicking she wouldn’t be able to stabilize and get back into a flight pattern.
It was one of those moments where he knew what he was trying to do was impossible, but he went ahead and did it anyway. The distance between himself and the filly was too great. He didn’t feathering care. Soarin’ bit down, threw his hooves straight and lanced toward his target. His wings folded into place and a cone of resistance formed around his feet. What was this? It was in his way, but if he broke through it he might hit Fluttershy so hard he’d crush her. Though, if he opened his wings right as he passed through, then maybe it would work.
The cone of air shattered and Soarin’ roared as he forced his wings open against the wind current holding them down.
A thunderous boom ripped from the sky.
---
Scootaloo’s eyes were huge. “So Thunderwings isn’t an old pony tale?”
“It might as well be. Fluttershy was the only one who saw it happen. Everyone else was watching the race.”
“Wait a minute,” Applejack said. “That day in Manehattan, I saw a golden light surrounding Ponyville when I was thinking about home. I think that was you, Soarin’.”
Pinkie bounced around her orange friend. “Yeah, and when I was on the rock farm something cleared all the clouds and sent sparkling light confetti glitter stuff falling from the sky. It felt just like a party!”
“That blast cracked open the rock I found.”
“This is uncanny!” Twilight said excitedly. “Soarin’, I think you caused the explosion that led to my cutie mark too. Do you know what this means? All of us had a special connection before we’d even met!”
“Group hug!” Pinkie shouted. The six friends found themselves pulled into a big hug.
“Eeew,” Scootaloo said. She waited for Soarin’ to squeeze out before she asked, “So why don’t you do Thunderwings again? I bet you’d get into the Wonderbolts right away with that awesome move!”
Soarin’ tried to hide his pained expression under a smile. “I can’t.”
“Why? Oof.”
Rarity pushed Scootaloo toward the door with her nose. “Okay now darling. That’s enough questions for one day. Why not take what you’ve learned about cutie marks and use it to find yours?”
“Yeah!” Applebloom jumped up, remembering why they had started collecting stories in the first place. “Come on Cutie Mark Crusaders. Let’s see if Thunderlane will bring us a cloud to jump off of!”
The three fillies tripped over themselves in an excited rush to the door.
“Hmm,” Pinkie Pie mused. “I wonder if that’s better or worse than what they were doing before?”
Twilight said, “What, ziplining?”
Applejack pulled her hat over her eyes. “I don’t wanna know.”
Fluttershy’s attention was on Soarin’, who had fallen silent. “It’s okay Soarin’. I’m sure you’ll be able to do Thunderwings again, if you try.”
“I’ve been trying. Rainbow Dash can do a Sonic Rainboom. Why can’t I…” Soarin’ looked down at his hooves. “It’s fine. I’ve got weather patrol now, so.” He left.
About two seconds later he came back through the door and swiped a cupcake off the counter with a wing. “Okay, now I’m leaving.”
Twilight frowned. “I don’t think it’s healthy for him to be comparing himself to a Wonderbolt like that. Should we do something?”
Applejack shook her head. “Nothing we can do, sugar cube. Soarin’ll set aside winning if it means helping somepony out, but he’s still got a competitive streak the size of an Apple family barn. He’s just gonna have to work this out for himself.”
Twilight didn’t like that answer. “I guess so. I hope he figures it out soon, because the Grand Galloping Gala is this week, and I know he was planning to try and meet the Wonderbolts then.”
---
Twilight tuned an apple into a carriage. It was the most bizarre, cool thing Soarin’ had seen in a long time. As he was watching, the gifted unicorn transformed four mice into strange, somewhat pony-like animals.
Okay, the apple carriage was now the second most bizarre thing Soarin’ had seen in a long time. Rarity’s cat chased the horse mice things away. “Oh boy,” Soarin’ said. “Too bad we don’t get to see the reaction those cause when they get downtown.”
“Now how will we get to the gala?” Twilight was starting to panic. Things didn’t go well when she did that, Soarin’ had noticed.
“We could fly,” he suggested. “Er. I could fly.”
“No!” The entire group protested. They were all going to the gala together, or not going at all.
Soarin’ switched to his next idea. “Okay, let me ask some of my cloud construction buddies if they’ll pull the carriage. No problem. I’ll just drop Rarity’s name.”
“Hey!” Rarity puffed. “So you’re the reason I keep getting love-struck ponies stopping by the boutique when I’m trying to get some work done.”
Soarin’ grinned. “Nothing brings in a favor quite like mentioning Rarity. AJ, you should try it next time you’re trying to make some sales to a tough crowd.”
“Hmm. I’ll remember that, so long as you take the blame.”
Rarity growled. “I shall handle this myself! I don’t need you two spoiling my good name.” She strode off, muttering. “Of all the ungrateful, philandering, avaricious, troublemaking ponies…”
Fluttershy overheard Rarity’s fuming and blushed. “Soarin’, I didn’t know you were a philanderer.”
“I’m not! Whatever that is. She got the troublemaking part right though. So maybe I am?”
Twilight shook her head, amused. “No, you’re not, or we’d be having a lot more awkward conversations, especially considering there’s five of us girls and only one of you.”
Pinkie Pie thought about that. “Awkward can be fun. Can we start having awkward conversations? I’ll make one now! Soarin’, a philanderer is someone who likes to have casual romantic relationships with lots of ponies at once and usually they toy with their lovers’ hearts and emotions.”
“That sounds exhausting. I’m more interested in getting into the Wonderbolt Academy than winning hearts at this point…”
Soarin’s bouncy friend kept talking. “Are you sure you don’t want to get in just so you can have lots of lady fans who love and adore you? Or maybe stallion fans? Or maybe both? I don’t know your tastes.”
Soarin’ started laughing. “Okay Pinkie, this is an awkward and weird conversation. Good job.”
“I do my best.”
“Aaaanyway,” Twilight cut in, “we need to go get ready to leave.”
---
Soarin’ sang along with the rest of the ponies to finish the traditional gala song. “And we’ll have the best night ever… at the gala!”
Rarity considered their performance on the path to Canterlot Castle. “Hmm. I’m not sure a male solo part fit best there. Perhaps you should have gone first, or sang the last solo verse. Maybe we should try some duets? I bet the results would be spectacular.”
Soarin’ shrugged. “Eh, it’s more about having fun than sounding like the Canterlot Choir.” The stallion ducked his head closer to Rarity so he wouldn’t be overheard. “By the way, why is everyone staring at us like that?”
They passed off their tickets to enter the gala, and Soarin’ was drawing a lot of attention, as was everyone in their six-pony party. Rarity chuckled. “It’s your outfit, silly. Why, look around you.”
The other outfits were nice. Most mares were wearing designer saddles or frilly dresses. For the stallions, a simple cravat or vest was the name of the game. None of them were like Rarity’s designs. Nope.
Soarin’ was on his own now. He braced himself while he entered the fray and tried to remember what he was going to say to Rainbow Dash if he managed to find her. She probably wouldn’t remember him. If that was the case, then maybe this time Rarity’s designer clothes would help the Wonderbolts remember his name? Was that what fashion was for?
---
The Grand Galloping Gala was not Rainbow Dash’s idea of a good time. “I’m starving. I’m gonna get something to eat,” she told Rapidfire.
“You say that, but the hors d’oeuvres table is that way.” The storm-colored stallion used his wing to point to the castle entrance at one end of the garden.
“Yeah, and I smell fresh baked apples in the other direction. You know, like the kind they sell at those stands at big events.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll warn you, it’s dangerous territory out there. I’m going to the VIP section before ponies realize we’re done with the Wonderworks.”
“I don’t see why they always invite us instead of getting some earth pony fireworks.”
“It’s the Grand Galloping Gala. It’s supposed to be extravagant and over-the-top.”
The two Wonderbolts parted ways. Dash’s route through the garden took her straight to the source of the apple smell. It was a food cart. The owner was an orange mare with a freckled face. “Howdy partner! You hungry?” the mare said.
“As a horse!”
“Well, whatcha hankering for? I’ve got apple pie, apple fritters, apple fries.”
“Hmm.” Dash surveyed the foods. They all looked good. Might as well go with the biggest thing there. “How about that one?" She jabbed a hoof at a big apple pie.
“It’s all yours.”
The Wonderbolt paid and trotted off, proud to have avoided the tedium of eating dozens of appetizers for dinner. She hurried to the VIP section before the gala’s newcomers noticed her distinctive mane. The blue and gold uniform really stood out from the crowd, too.
Spitfire was just ahead of her. “Always hungry after a show, eh Dash?”
“Like every other Wonderbolt,” Dash said before remembering why she didn’t carry things in her mouth.
At the same instant Dash threw out her hoof to catch the falling pie, a pale blue pegasus sped across the room and reached for it. The pie landed in Dash’s waiting grasp, and the stallion pegasus was a split second late. He caught Rainbow Dash’s leg.
She pulled her hoof up in surprise. The pie smashed all over the front of her uniform.
Silence.
The stallion froze in place, hooves outstretched. Cinnamon spiced goo slid down Rainbow Dash’s chest and dripped onto the marble floor.
“My pie…”
The rest of it, tin and all, slopped face down onto the tile. Dash stared at it, and then stared at the mess on her uniform. When she looked up, the pony who’d startled her was pushing a new pie into Spitfire’s hooves. He ripped a starched napkin off a nearby table and held it out to the stunned, dessert-covered mare.
Dash took the napkin and looked at the pony who’d somehow managed to smash apple pie all over her and get a new one before she had time to react. He was, well, he was unlike any guest she’d seen at the gala before. A thunderbolt gleamed at the base of his neck, inset in a pair of spreading white wings that flared around his chest. The wings matched the white plate shoes and alabaster covering along his back. Draped underneath was a dazzling shift of royal blue and ethereal fabric that sparkled like Luna’s rare azure night sky.
Apparently he could fly in it. Impressed, Dash opened her mouth to say something, but Spitfire beat her to it.
“Hey, I remember you. You’re the pony who tried to save us at the Best Young Flyer Competition.”
Soarin’s ears pointed back in horror, but he hadn’t lost his sense of humor. “You remember me,” he said before covering his eyes. “And now I’ve made sure you definitely won’t forget me,” he groaned.
Dash wiped at the apple filling covering her uniform. “I’ll say. You’re the first to think our performance was bad enough to throw food at us.”
Red tinged the stallion’s face. Now that she was looking at him, he was familiar, and it wasn’t just because his coat was similar to hers in color. She tried to talk while her brain put the pieces together. “You’re…”
“Soarin’. We met at the—”
“—at the competition,” she finished. That was it. If his mane hadn’t been styled down she might have recognized him sooner.
Well, he had already succeeded in making the gala more fun than the first one she’d been to. Maybe if it looked like she was busy with a guest, her fans might leave her alone. “Since you’re here, wanna hang out with us?” she asked Soarin’.
He couldn’t believe she’d said that after what he’d just done. “You want me to hang out with you?”
“Yeah, why not. At least that way I’ll see you coming next time you try to throw food at me.”
They entered the VIP section and ponies gathered around the group of Wonderbolts. Rapidfire sighed. “You had to bring all that commotion with you, didn’t you Rainbow Dash?”
“Hey, life’s never boring with me around.”
The pie incident caused quite a stir. The crowd quickly closed in, and Soarin’ found himself split off from the Wonderbolts. Ponies wanted to ask for photos and autographs and talk about – well, he wasn’t sure. It was too loud to have a conversation with more than one pony at a time.
“Hey, Spitfire,” Soarin’ tried. “Have you ever soared past lightning?”
The fiery mare gave no indication she’d heard him. Soarin’ turned to his right. “Rainbow Dash, I wanted to ask you…” but the Wonderbolt was pulled into a group picture with some important looking ponies.
This was not going as he had hoped. He was getting attention, of course, just not from the Wonderbolts. “Yes, my friend Rarity designed this,” he found himself explaining to a fashionable couple that found his attire wonderful and regal.
“I say,” one stallion said, holding up his monocle to get a closer look at Soarin’. “You do bear a remarkable resemblance to a depiction I saw inside Canterlot Castle of one of the Elements of Harmony.”
Soarin’ brushed his hoof over his mane to make sure the top was still flattened. “Er, I don’t think I’ve seen that picture.” If ponies at the gala found out he was an Element of Harmony he might never hear the end of it. “Hey, look over there, is that the Prince? And he’s with some mare!”
Soarin’ zipped off. He heard the stallion say, “Oh, how unfortunate,” but it wasn’t clear whether he was talking about Rarity or the pony she was with.
It was time to devise a new strategy. As Soarin’ was thinking about what to do next, the music changed. It had a beat to it. He heard Pinkie yell something about cake, and then the room fell quiet. Soarin’ looked around. There was Rarity smeared in cake.
Wow, good thing Soarin’ had smashed a pie into Rainbow Dash and not Rarity. She was furious. Prince Blueblood reared in fear and fell backward into a freestanding marble statue. The heavy piece of art swayed and toppled. A rainbow blur launched for the statue before it could crush the dazed bystanders.
Soarin’ saw the miscalculation in slow motion, watched that pair of blue wings beat up and down as the sharp horn on the statue angled down, a spear aimed straight between the pegasus’ shoulder blades. Soarin’ felt his muscles tense as he braced himself. Taught fire burned through the tendons in his back legs as he dug into the floor.
One moment Soarin’ stood in the crowd. The next he crashed into Rainbow Dash.
The room exploded with a thunder clap that threw the gala guests to the floor. Showers of sparks flew from a glowing winged sigil that spread out over the crowd. The force of the boom knocked over one of the pillars in the center of the room and it tipped and fell into the next, fracturing into stone chunks that rained down. Pillars fell like dominoes. The alicorn statue was a heap of rubble.
Soarin’ and Rainbow Dash slammed into the wall with such force it took a few seconds for gravity to catch up to them. The two pegasi slid down the wall and collapsed in a heap on the ground. Dash’s left wing crooked out at an odd angle. Her teammates came rushing up, but the only thing she was paying attention to was the pony who’d smashed her out of the way. His formal attire was ruined, the ethereal fabric torn away to reveal the mark on his flank.
It was a winged lightning bolt: a perfect replica of the Wonderbolt emblem.
In the chaos of stampeding animals and the afterglow of that aerial feat, the pegasus who pulled it off made one quick glance back and then flew for the exit.
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3555301 No, it's not! Hahaha. Yeah, I hope no one gets too excited and confused by that.
So for everyone reading, this is not the sequel to LOYALTY. I'm still writing that.
Amazing way of speeding through season 1! This story seems quite well done, good job.
I love this story so far
it's really interesting!! i hope you write more soon
W-wait a second... Mr. Prince is writing something again!? Ahahaha!!! Finally! The short description has already got me hooked on it. I'll be looking forward to seeing how this turns out.
~SolidFire
I love this!
Meh its ok could be better judging from past stories but its good hope to read more soon and i hope the sequel to loyalty comes out soon i'll be waiting
3555314 I'm not much for alternate universes, but Loyalty was AMAZING. I'll be waiting for that sequel.
Stay Awesome
RDD
"Mirror blue" eh? Is the ending of this gonna be them realizing they have switched roles. The word "mirror" is telling me something like that is going to happen. Otherwise, why would you put that word into the title with the story being in an altimate universe where in the story this is how its sopposed to be. Nice cover art by the way :)
THE COVER ART thats it!!! THEY Will KNOW!! the shadows. THE SHADOWS. DUH. look at the shadows!!
Nice alternate spin on the first season, and I really like the take on Soarin’s special move.
For some reason I thought this was a complete, two chapter only story; I'm certainly glad I was wrong, 'cause I'm looking forward to more.
I have to say the parts I liked best were where you broke away from following show canon completely; little moments where Soarin' doubts himself after telling his cutie mark story to the CMC or Pinkie tries to make the conversation awkward were nice, and I especially liked how he fails where Dash originally succeeded. The story really grabbed me when it was Rainbow who saved Soarin' and Rarity, especially because it gave me something I was hoping for from this concept; Rainbow is a Wonderbolt here, so I want to see her be awesome. Subverting my expectations and having her save the day here (again) really pulled that off. In the same manner, I like how Soarin' fails to save her pie at the Gala, but then ends up saving her life and pulling off a Thunderwing, catching her attention.
Moments like those were what really caught my interest, and I hope you have more of them, because the rest of it was, to be honest with you, less interesting. I think it's because you spent a lot of time essentially copying the events of the show, only sticking Soarin' in Dash's shoes; the thing is we've seen those episodes and that ground has already been covered. It was nothing new. Reading how Rarity decides to make Soarin' a suite/tux, how he messes it up, helps apologize, how he got his cutie mark or sang on his way up to the gala...it felt like I was just reading the moments of episodes I'm already very familiar with. They felt unnecessary, because they told me nothing new. Now, in the beginning this method did establish that in this universe Soarin' basically does everything Dash did, and vice versa--it's not massively different, which was a possibility going in. Instead, their roles are nearly completely reversed. Once I understood that, everything else that made the same point (the cutie mark story, Soarin trying to teach Fluttershy to cheer, the two of them getting bullied, etc) kinda felt repetitious. I now wanted to see how putting Soarin' in Dash's shoes might change things, since otherwise what would be the point of reading the story? I already know what Dash does throughout the three seasons; replacing her with a picture of Soarin' in my head isn't hard, I certainly don't need a story for that. That's why the times you did change things up it was far more engaging; I now no longer knew what would happen next, or the what the next line of dialogue was; I was no longer reading brief clips of season one with Soarin's name pasted over Dash's.
I don't know what your plans are, but I hope you stick with the new material, and keep the retread stuff more off screen--but hey, it's your fic, you do what you want
In any event, you've left it off at a good point, and I definitely want to see what happens next.
3576502 Thanks for the thought-out review, as always Axis!
I agree with you about the weak point being the parts that are the same for both of them, because we already know that stuff. I'm going to edit the third chapter before I post it; it felt boring to me, but I came up with a way to change that.
:0
It is kind of funny how one event change everything rainbow or Soarin they helped them even though they never met each other
Boy so it looks like Rainbow dash finally made her appearances she saved rarty and Soarin and the other 2 and even though he did not win the best Flyers competition but he got the knowledge from Rainbow Dash that she admired about saving his friend and even risking his life despite everything he felt like he did everything he could now it looks like everybody is starting to getting ready for the grand Galloping Gala and his relationship with the other girls are pretty good friendship wise but once the gala is here they made their way over there and it looks like saw soarin saw one of the Wonderbolts and it's Rainbow Dash and she bought a pie from Applejack and apparently she drop it and Soarin try to catch a for her but ended up crashing on her instead oops lol but it looks like rainbow recognize him despite the new look on him and she even invited him to the VIP what year was pretty excited but unfortunately things did not go very well because the Wonderbolts are too busy talking with the other guests but it looks like everything is starting to fall apart when Prince Blueblood crash into one of the statues after getting cake on which he deserve that but rainbow stop the statue from falling but unfortunately one of the tip of the statue fell off and going to land on her so soarin and pushed her out of the way from getting hurt and we all know what happened with Fluttershy going insane