The Amorous Misadventures of Prince Blueblood

by FallBlau

Prologue

Prince Blueblood awoke that morning with a feeling of satisfaction as he nestled his face against his companion's warm, tender breasts. “You are quite the woman, aren't you?” he mumbled as he stretched in the small wooden bed they shared.

The sunlight from the early morning was just beginning to peep its way through the veiled curtains over the window. “Blasted inconvenience,” he said, getting up. “Why must the start of the day come so early?”

He moved over to where he had thrown his boots the previous night and started to put them on. He struggled to push his foot in, trying not make a sound as he did so. “Come on...come on...”

Finally, he was able slide it in, but not before bumping into the shelf on the wall, which caused an audible crack to echo through the house. Blueblood cursed under his breath.

It was then that the still sleeping lady on the bed, began to awaken from her slumber. “Blueblood? Where are you going?”

Blueblood hurried to gather the rest of his clothing which lay scattered, helter-skelter all over the room.

“I'm sorry, my sweet, I didn't mean to wake you,” he said, putting on his shirt.

“Are you leaving? So soon?” she asked.

“Well...”

That's when the door flung open and a man in his late thirties walked in. “Honey, I got home early...and who the hell is this!?”

The woman shot upright in her bed. “It's not what it looks like!”

“Who is this in our bedroom!?”

By this time, Blueblood had hastily put on rest of his garments and was reaching for his coat. “Look, good sir,” he said, moving towards him, “I can explain. Your wife here...”

“Not another step!” he cried, drawing his rapier from its sheath. “You!” he said, pointing the tip of the blade to his wife. “Who is he?”

“Please dear, calm down,” she said, covering her bareness with the covers. “There's a simple explanation if you'll give me a chance.”

“No explanations! Tell me why he is in here or I swear, I'll run you both through!”

“Ha ha! Not quite!” Blueblood said, producing his own rapier.

The man turned to his wife, rage writhing on his face. “So this is how you repay me? By sleeping around on me while I go out of town?”

“It's not like that!” she screamed.

“I should have known better than to marry a filthy whore like you!”

“Uh-uh,” Blueblood said, taping his rapier's blade. “Don't insult the lady's honor, or you'll force me to defend it.”

“This is my wife!” the man cried. “And who the hell do you think you are?”

Blueblood smiled as he looked him straight in the eyes. “I am the mystery of the ages, that unknowable, untouchable spirit that has roamed the Earth since the beginning of time. Born to satisfy oppressed women everywhere, I am the curse of hapless marriages, the terror of unfulfilled love, and the defiler of innocence. I am Prince Blueblood.”

“Villain!” the man yelled, “I'll teach you some respect for another person's marriage!”

The man swung his blade at Blueblood's, hitting it several times, causing sparks to fly in all directions.

He tried to attack the Prince again, thrusting his sword towards him, but missed, causing it to become lodged in the wall. Blueblood immediately raced by him as he tried to retrieve his weapon and climbed out the window, onto the terraced roof beyond.

“Come back here, you cur!” the man called, chasing after him. “I'm not done with you yet!”

“That's exactly what your wife said last night!”

They exchanged more of blows as they balanced themselves on the narrow on the narrow boards that linked the house to the one next to it.

“Give it up, sir!” Blueblood said extending his arms, leaving himself wide-open. “I have you beat!”

The man rushed forwards, his blade leading the way, eager to finish off his insolent adversary. At the last moment, though, Blueblood turned his body so that the sword narrowly missed him, which caused the man to go flying through the air. The man then plunged off the roof and landed in a pile of straw that lay in the alley below.

When the man recovered himself off and looked up, and he saw the figure of Blueblood standing loftily over him, atop his roof. “I told you sir! I had you beat!”

“You won't get away with this!” the man cried, waving his blade in the air.

“Oh, but I have sir!” he said, strolling to the other roof. “And now I must bid you adieu! And be sure to give my compliment to your wife!” He bowed facetiously and proceeded to take his leave.

~

In another part of Canterlot, a young servant of around twenty or so sat on a bench in a vacant courtyard in one of the city's nicer neighborhoods. His black hair glistened in the early morning sunlight as he held his violin on his neck, plucking the strings as he tuned them.

He hummed out the note, trying to replicate it as he turned one of the instrument's pegs, when a little bird came and perched itself on the scroll. The servant smiled as the bird tweeted happily.

“Aww, well aren't you cute?”

The bird tweeted again before pecking one of his fingers. “Ow! Why you little!”

The bird fluttered away in an instant and rejoined his companions singly happily on the clothes line above.

“Hey!” he shouted, getting up and waving his hands at them. “Why don't you come down here, huh? You know what that feels like? It hurts!”

The birds responded in a cacophony of tweeting, almost, he could have sworn, in the form of laughter.

“Yeah! You stay up there! Next time, I'll smash your eggs and-”

The servant was interrupted by a cascade of white droppings that descended from above on his face.

At that moment, Blueblood rounded the corner and witnessed the strange sight. He laughed heartily as the servant tried to climb the arbor to reach the birds above.

“Fighting with birds at this time of day, Giovanni?”

“That little bastard pecked my finger!” he exclaimed.

Blueblood laughed some more at his plight.

“It's not funny!” Giovanni cried.

“Oh no, not at all,” Blueblood snickered. “Forgive me. I didn't realize the nature of the offense.”

At last the servant yielded the fight and descended from where he had climbed atop the arbor. “And where were you last night?” he asked.

“You know,” Blueblood replied.

“Oh, I see,” Giovanni said. “And what privileged lady was it this time?”

“The Countess of...something or another, I can't remember now. Met her at a party last night that they were holding at one of those fancy get-togethers they host so often. She was looking very lonely, so I obliged the Lady with my company that evening.”

“Did she enjoy it, at least?”

“She did,” Blueblood said, leaning against the wall, “but her husband didn't.”

“Then I suspect that you made your escape in the manner you always do, but judging from your appearance, I'd say he wasn't too pleased about finding you in his wife's bed.”

“Well, I wasn't in the bed when he found me, if that means anything.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No, the fool was so enraged he could barely see straight.”

“Be thankful for that. One day, master, you're not going to be so lucky.”

“Nonsense! With my quick wits and reflexes, who needs luck? Besides, fortune favors the bold!”

“Just try to be careful – you've already been caught twice this month. Don't you think the Princesses might find out?”

“Not a chance. And even if they did, how can Auntie ever stay mad at me? I'm her favorite nephew, after all.”

“Some might say that's the only reason you can get away with all this,” Giovanni muttered underneath his breath.

“What was that?” Blueblood asked.

“Nothing, master. I was just noting how word of your feats is starting to be whispered around town.”

“Well, that doesn't really bother me. There's not a single woman in Canterlot who I couldn't seduce and I want everyone to know it.”

“If you say so...” Giovanni said.

“Well, now that's out of the way, what's for breakfast? I'm starving!”

Blueblood made his way past Giovanni and entered into his apartment, which lay at the opposite end of the street.

“The usual, sir,” Giovanni said, following him.

“I hope you didn't fix any of that porridge,” Blueblood said, walking into the dining room. “You know how much I loathe porridge.”

“No, sir, just a fresh serving of fruits and vegetables,” he said removing the lid from the plate.

“Good,” Blueblood said looking over the fine assortment of food. “A high energy meal is exactly what I need for tonight.”

Giovanni rolled his eyes. “The usual antics, sir?”

“No, not this time,” Blueblood said as he helped himself to an orange. “I'm going to be doing something different tonight – something that requires your help.”

“Oh?” Giovanni asked, raising his eyebrow. “And what exactly do you need me for?”

“You will see,” he replied, peeling a grape, “but I can tell you, it will be one of my most daring feats yet.”

“I hesitate to ask, but what exactly do you have in mind?”

Blueblood smirked. “Well, since you're curious, I'll give you a hint – it involves my Auntie.”

“No...” Giovanni said, gasping. “No! With your own Aunt?”

“Not that, you fool!” he exclaimed. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

“That's a good question...” Giovanni mumbled.

“No, it involves something a little more harder to obtain than that,” Blueblood said. “What I had in mind is much more valuable.”

“You're going to take something?”

“Yes,” he said, taking a bite out of a banana. “but not what you might expect.”

“Please, I'm dying to know,” Giovanni said, with more than a hint of sarcasm.

“I'm going to steal a pair of Aunt Celly's panties.”

Giovanni stared blank-faced at his master before sputtering into a fit of giggles which soon turned into full-blown laughter. He guffawed at the notion for several minutes, while Blueblood casually continued to eat his breakfast.

“Done?” Blueblood asked as he neared the end of mirth.

“You...you...” he said, trying to regain his breath. “You can't be serious!”

“I am serious,” Blueblood said, wiping his mouth.

“But why?” Giovanni asked. “Why would you even consider something like that?”

“That's very simple,” Blueblood said, getting up. “The fame, of course. Who else could ever claim to have so rare and precious a treasure? A pair of Auntie's panties will solidify my reputation as a god among men throughout all of Equestria.”

“And how do you ever plan on accomplishing this?”

“I'm glad you asked,” Blueblood said, smiling.

“I already regret I did.”

“Tonight, you and I shall sneak into the palace grounds with a ladder. With it, I'll be able to scale the walls and make my way into Auntie's bedroom, where I shall retrieve a pair of her panties.”

“Wait...she's the Princess of the Sun. Won't that mean she'll be sleeping then? Why not do it during the day when she's not in her room?”

“Because during the day everyone can see us.”

“I don't know...this all seems pretty risky.”

“The greater the risk, the greater the reward! After all, fortune favors-”

“The bold, yes, you've said that already.”

“Right, then I can count on your help?”

“I probably shouldn't, but knowing you, you'll probably get yourself into some situation where you'll need my help.”

“Good, then we prepare for tonight!” he said as he walking out the door. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

Author's Note:

May or may not continue this, as this was basically done on a whim.

Comments

[NocturneD85]

pretty much whatever i told you in the PM applies here.

[Bad_Seed_72]

“That's exactly what your wife said last night!”

At that moment, Blueblood rounded the corner and witnessed the strange site.

*sight

Pretty funny start. Blueblood is quite a character, isn't he? Typical young noble, getting himself into trouble...