The Y of Twilight

by AdamThePony

Chapter 3: Unbiased

Chapter 3: Unbiased

Celestia always rose with dawn. Ever since her birth she had felt a natural connection to the sun, and her mind could not sleep with the sun’s presence weighing upon it. The solar diarch was surprised, therefore, when she found that her charge was already awake, pouring over a book with a tight frown. Twilight looked as though she was trying to discern meaning from the scribbles with sheer willpower alone, her brow clenched and shining with a faint coat of sweat, aiming to absorb the knowledge like a sponge. The pout on her face made the princess chuckle slightly.

Twilight’s head rose with Celestia’s noise, the stimuli breaking her out of her stupor. “Princess?” She tilted her head.

Celestia craned her head down to meet Twilight at eye level, pecking her on the cheek.

“Good morning, dear,” She whispered, arching as she stretched out for the morning’s events.

Twilight squeaked at the sudden touch. “Princess?” She inquired.

“Yes, Twilight?” the Princess replied, preening her feathers.

Twilight touched a hoof to her face where Celestia had kissed her. “What?”

“That was a kiss, Twilight,” Celestia explained, offering a washcloth. “It’s something ponies do to show they like somepony.”

Twilight murmured to herself, trying to process the arithmetic of Celestia’s kiss as she watched her strut to the balcony. With a wave of her hoof, Celestia dragged the sun from the horizon, setting the sun on its course like a clockmaker would adjust their clock. Though it was by no means an arduous task, the act of raising the sun was always one that took a significant effort to accomplish.

Twilight watched in awe, her earlier book soundly forgotten between the new method of showing affection and the majestic display of power from her savior and adopter. The crisp golden hue of the morning sun washed over her, burning away the dull greys of awakening to reveal radiant, prismatic color once again.

Celestia’s ears perked at the sound of hoofsteps behind her, Twilight settling at her side to watch the sun. Celestia felt Twilight rub her head against her side, and placed a wing around her to reassure the occasionally flighty alicorn that her affection was reciprocated.

“It really is a beautiful sight, isn’t it?” she asked, looking to her work again. “Every day, this is the miracle I perform for Equestria. Though most may find the act of the sun’s rise and fall dull and boring, I can always appreciate its majesty.”

“Magic.” Twilight agreed, her eyes shining and wide in the face of the sunrise.

Celestia smiled and nodded. “And very powerful magic, at that.”

Twilight watched Celestia’s horn, her gaze turning down as she did. A sigh escaped the younger pony’s lips as she turned back to her book, turning out from under Celestia’s wings.

It was then that Celestia began to murmur a strange melody.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… You make me happy, when skies are grey… You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you… Please, don’t take my sunshine away…”

Twilight’s ears lowered at the tune. Though it sounded cheerful, it had a melancholy afterthought to it. It promised things Twilight knew she could never be, things she could never do. Celestia continued to hum the tune to herself, looking off to the Everfree castle. As she saw Twilight pouting in her periphery, she followed suit before bringing a smile back to her face.

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” she sighed as she drew the curtains. “I just have that tune burned into my head.”

Twilight smiled, although it was a weak, half-hearted look.

“Come,” she said with a more upbeat inflection. “Let’s get a morning bath, shall we?”

Twilight perked up at this, her smile becoming more genuine. She watched Celestia walk forward and, hoping to impress, trotted up alongside the older pony, starting the bathwater with her mouth when she reached the faucet. She frowned as the water swirled into the tub. Celestia giggled as she pulled onto a small chain, revealing a rubber plug which plopped into the drain, holding the water within the tub proper. Twilight gave a pout at the giggle, staring at the drain venomously.

“This plug goes into the drain to keep the water from getting out of the tub,” the sun princess explained. “It’s best to put it in before you start the water.”

Twilight nodded once, then smiled and tested the waters, just as she had learned to earlier. Her ears perked as Celestia began to pour some strange, rocklike things into the tub. “What are…?” Twilight did not know a good word for the rocks, earning a grunt of frustration from her.

“Bath salts, my dear Twilight,” the princess replied, also testing the waters as she inhaled a sweet, lavender fragrance. “They’re meant to help improve the bath to some degree.”

“Bath...salts.” Twilight tested the word, looking to Celestia.

“Very good!” Celestia applauded, happy to hear her princess-in-training expanding her repertoire. “You’re quick as always.”

Twilight beamed as Celestia slowly eased herself into the tub, a throaty sigh arcing into the ceiling. Twilight’s tail twitched at the sigh, and she frowned at it in confusion. She shook her head, body slipping into the tub alongside the larger pony. She began to apply the brush to herself. Eventually, Twilight was struck by a thought.

“Celestia has family?”

“Of a sort,” Celestia replied. “Luna is my sister, your sister Cadance and you are my nieces, Shining Armor is something of a son-in law, and so forth. I’m not entirely certain, though; family trees can be a tricky business.”

“You love Shining Armor?” Twilight looked hopeful.

“As family, yes,” Celestia noted.

“Not married.” Twilight nodded, a proud smile on her face. Love and families were complicated, but not insurmountable.

“Precisely,” Celestia confirmed. “Some day, I should teach you of the four great loves. At least, the four that are most commonly known.”

“Four?” Twilight blinked. “Not two?”

“Four as in, there are four kinds of love.” the big pony clarified.

Twilight looked at her hooves. She pondered what the other two types of love could be privately. Married, family…friends?

“Simply put, there are four kinds of love; The first is Storge , or the love of those familiar, like Family—

“Mother, father, Shining, Cadance, Spike.” Twilight tested out the concept against what she already knew.

“Yes. The next type of love is Fillia, a kind of universal love that all ponies share. Every pony is connected to one another, and each has a certain love that they have the potential to share. A love of life and the world.”

Twilight frowned at this concept. She pursed her lips and creased her brow, studying her bathwater. “Friends?” Celestia smiled warmly.

“Yes, Twilight. Then, there is Eros. Eros is the love between two or more ponies physically. Ponies are designed to seek companionship. It’s how we produce more of ourselves. An erotic love is a love of a pony’s body or actions.”

Twilight made a face, her tongue sticking out at the idea. Celestia giggled.

“I assure you such feelings can include a very loving relationship. It is merely that the contact between two ponies is the central part of the relationship. We often call this relationship “romantic”, which is like the precursor to “marriage”.

“Finally, there is Agape—Unconditional Love or Chairty . A love for everything that a pony is. This kind of love does not have to be romantic, but it is very strong. This is found within the other three loves, but it shines brightest between Ponies and other creatures. The way a mare may love their dog, cat, or owl is a notable example of Agape. It is difficult to find between two ponies, as often there are things about other ponies we don’t like or that make us sad. Sometimes, though, we love those ponies, and can’t express this just through the other three loves. So much so that we don’t see those flaws anymor--”

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight exclaimed, spreading her forelegs

The princess chuckled as she looked to the window, before reciprocating the open legs and hugging Twilight.

“That has certainly been the case in the past. I do remember an unfortunate Hearts and Hooves Day incident with a pony not unlike yourself. But I promise that I care about you, Twilight. Nothing will ever change that.”

Twilight shifted into the hug, her shoulder muscles suddenly tensing. She felt comfortable against Celesta’s bosom, a motherly warmth spreading about her. It only made her shiver, knowing how bony, cold and rigid her own chest was in contrast. A clash of extremes, with both sharing similarities. But despite all Celestia’s kindness, Twilight could only see how much she didn’t fit. How wrong she was.

---

Their bath concluded, the two alicorns proceeded into the dining hall, where a breakfast spread had been prepared in advance to start their days. Celestia left Twilight, after a brief and yet tense conversation over where she was going so abruptly, to wander the castle.

Twilight opened the book again, grunting in frustration. The strange pictures done in curved, elegant lines registered nothing for her. Despite this, she knew there was meaning to these words. That she could deduce something from them about the ponies around her, the cultures that treasured them. That maybe, just maybe she could finally fit if she could peel away their secrets.

Twilight felt as if the whole world was covered in a veil. Or perhaps a blanket, a thick cloth curtain she could only just peer through. If she squinted, she could see that there were ponies on the other side of the curtain, talking, laughing and playing amongst each other. To her, though, the curtain would never be anything but a taste of the world that the others lived in so naturally. She gave a shiver as she closed the book, the grunt she gave this time eventually breaking off into a sigh. She looked down at the ponies in the garden and gave an uncertain smile, perceptions turning towards the ponies involved.

A warm coal of hope sprung up in her chest as she thought of her progress whilst hiding under Celestia’s wing. By mimicking the ponies in the garden, she could develop her ability to talk to more ponies than simply Celestia. She even dared to think of possibilities where she could simply adjust. Develop a family, run her own baths, prepare her own food.

She bore that same lust for the future that a child had, counting the days to adolescence, and adolescent to adulthood, with a dogmatic fervor. Her gaze hardened, jaw set and unmoving and brow furrowing in concentration. In other words, she stared. From her window on high she spotted her fellow creatures walking and talking, their words flowing naturally. She watched in awe as one lit up a horn, offering a fruit from one of the plants to his partner. After some talking, she ate, her cheeks the same color as Twilight’s after she had done something wrong. Twilight wondered why she was smiling so naturally as this happened.

She tried it for herself, horn flickering to life. She watched another unicorn in the gardens trimming the buds from a rose, focusing on the pointed, spiraled growth on his head. The newborn alicorn closed her eyes and felt magic blossom in her head. Twilight continued to think the word ‘magic’ over and over, her horn flaring and dancing with it. Her ears twitched to the din of multiple muffled conversations, her nose wrinkling with cold air as she tried to find a particular word with which to focus. She heard the word “flare”, and all of a sudden her magic was setting off bright flashes about the study. Like fireworks it danced in the air, shooting star-shapes and cherry blossoms of light throughout the study. Twilight yelped and ducked her head, her mind screaming for the lights to stop. And yet, even at her own request, her horn continued to let loose a maelstrom of iridescent light. As much as she begged herself to scream for help from her mentor, her pride wouldn’t let Celestia know of such grievous failure.

She closed her eyes and resigned herself to the lights flashing around her eyes, shutting out the world of magical chaos around her. Eventually, her horn ceased sputtering, leaving her prone form shivering on the ground, surrounded by ashes and burn marks.

---

Celestia’s mind whirred in multiple places at once, her thoughts on both topics that weighed upon her mind. Unfortunately for Vintage Grapes, installing a stained glass window honouring the success of his vineyard opening in the lower corners of the palace was not one of them. She had had an answer for him from the moment he had submitted his request. The rest was purely perfunctory.

She had know that giving Twilight Starswirl’s spell was a risky manoeuvre. Her student thrived in dangerous situations and forbidden magics. She had successfully thrown herself back in time, and wielded dark magic with casual ease, pushing its taint from her mind with a few short breaths. She had tamed chaos magic and summoning spells for monsters as dangerous as parasprites. She had accepted that Twilight’s history of miscasts was a very real danger, but the benefits to her nation of having a Princess maintaining their elements of harmony were too great for her to even consider ignoring.

Vintage’s speech about the merits of encouraging merchant-politician relations with a policy of preserving showings of wealth in glass did little to move her, but the gravity of the accident and her role in it did. She suppressed a sigh in the back of her throat, a polite cough coming out instead. Vintage looked up from his tirade to see if she had anything to offer, but she simply gave a light nod for him to continue and went back to her rumination. If she was to be honest with herself, she would know that her actions in keeping Twilight from her friends were perhaps selfish in some ways.

She could recognize guilt when she felt it. She had borne its burden for a thousand years. She was also able to see misplaced tenderness, as it was an emotion she thrived on. A millenium of being an all-loving mother to her little ponies after centuries of being nothing but a distant, whimsical sister were enough for her to see the signs of the same effect taking hold on her thoughts of Twilight. She was not trapping her friend, she was saving her. Sheltering her from the pain and heartbreak of the gap between herself and her friends. Helping guide her towards a natural return to life in Ponyville. She wanted to make sure that there would be little miscommunication. She wanted to assure that the Twilight they were going to talk to was more or less the same.

But her second conflict was far less black and white. She had hurt her friend. Protecting her and nurturing her was a start, but moreover she had damaged one of the greatest relationships she had ever nurtured with another creature. Not even Luna could claim to know Celestia as well as Twilight had. To her, Twilight was more than some mere apprentice. She was perhaps her greatest prodigy. She had saved her life and given her back her sister, had been there for her at her weakest moments and shown her the very same agape Celestia had been so quick to call broaching nonexistent. Even when she had doubted and scorned Twilight, the mare had still rushed to her side. She was truly her closest friend. But Twilight was not invincible. Was it so selfish of her to rectify that? Was that to be punished, too?

Was it not her sin that trapped the former unicorn? Celestia shook her head. She had to go find her and make amends. But she couldn’t. Not without abandoning all the others who depended upon her. She gave an uncharacteristically long sigh, turning her gaze down at Vintage, who abruptly squawked and bowed. “That will do, Vintage Grapes.” She regained her warm, ever-generous smile as she turned her eyes on his trembling form. “I am afraid that the government does not curry favour individually. However, if you wish to petition for a position as the supplier of the palace’s wine supply, your gesture would likely produce a similar boon to your business as your original intent.”

The winemaker gave a stuttering thanks, still bowing, and shuffled awkwardly out of the room. Another pony appeared before her, this one holding a rose between her teeth and floating a velvet box in her magic. Celestia took in what was obviously her best dress and fragrance, and knew immediately that this particular court was going to last far longer than she had desired.

---

Twilight had tried everything to make the room look presentable for when Celestia got back. She sat in the mess of soap, bath salts, burn marks and goodness knows how many cleaning solutions, potions and beverages she had thought might have helped. The poor princess couldn’t even figure out how to use half of them. She sniveled to herself quietly in the soup of liquids that was once Celestia’s floor, crushing shame filling her entire figure. It had only taken her a day of attempting to learn on her own to tarnish the hospitality of the only pony she could call her friend. The feelings of uselessness that had been growing since she first learned the complexity of Celestia’s life grew ever more heavy upon her body, pressing her head down in a shamed bow.

Truly, she had made a magnificently poor error. A pit settled in her gut as she stared at the product of her attempts to learn by herself. Truly, only another pony could pull back that cursed, every-changing curtain for her. She was too weak. Too naive. Too small for a world so big.

“...Twilight?” A voice called, breaking her out of her slump.

“What?” Her voice broke, a weary croak amidst the ruin.

Celestia’s eyes widened as she saw the sullen state of her former student.

“My stars,” she exclaimed, trotting delicately to her side. “Twilight, what happened to you?”

Twilight wordlessly clung to Celestia, trying to press into her neck and away from the sting of her failures. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Celestia, I’m very, very sorry.” She continued to mumble ‘I’m sorry’s aimlessly into Celestia’s mane, leaving the elder pony with a concerned frown.

“Twilight, what happened?” She asked simply.

“M-magic.” Came a voice from between the fur on her chest. Celestia felt a pair of hooves clinging to her, which then tensed up and pushed her back. Twilight slunk away from her, head turned down.

“Twilight?” The mare in question only shook her hanging head, no words coming from her mouth. Only ashamed whimpers. Celestia ran a hoof down the other pony’s shoulder. “I promise, I’m not mad.” Silence. Celestia bit her lip, her brow creasing in concern. She had never seen Twilight in such a sulken state as this.

Twilight sighed. “Help clean?” She said at last.

“Of course, Twilght,” Celestia replied with a trademark smile.

“Thank you.” She mumbled to the floor. Twilight tried her best to rub the burn marks away with her hoof, managing to wipe them into mere wispy smears of charcoal grey where before they were jagged black streaks running along the floor. Her expression changed slightly at that. Seeing such destruction get wiped away in an instant by a careful stroke of her hoof was a treat to her innocent eyes. While it did sting a little when she touched the floor, the floor’s old self quickly shone through.

Quickly, Celestia called a custodian and commandeered his mop and bucket, handing them to Twilight as they began to swab the floor. The custodian raised an eyebrow at the Princess of Equestria cleaning her bedchambers, as well as her sharing a room with a soot-faced Twilight Sparkle sporting a new pair of purple wings. But, if this was how she aimed to spend her afternoon, well, that was her prerogative. With this in mind, he backed away quietly, leaving the Princesses to their activity.

Twilight was midway through cleaning when an idea struck her. Her eyes closed and her forehead wrinkled under the concentration she afforded her newfound thought. She focused in her mind’s eye on the broom’s back and forth motion, attempting to think of the simple rocking as best she could. She opened her eyes once she felt the broom lift slightly from her mouth, the pressure no longer as firm. She let out a gasp, and the broom rested down upon her. Just like that, the moment was lost, but hope blossomed in the heart of the infantile alicorn.

For a single moment, bare for all the world to see, the broom’s handle had shimmered in a purple aura. Her magic had focused. If not quickly, it had at least focused effectively. Twilight closed her eyes in a private smile, then returned to sweeping. For a brief instant, she’d managed the feat of telekinesis. She swept bare another patch of floor, her soaking fetlocks dancing across the surface where before they had dragged sullenly.

She flew through the cleaning, tripping in the suds and stumbling, picking herself up and falling back down all over again. Soapy, sooty water stained every fibre of her coat, and her forelegs sung with bruises, and yet still she felt a lift in her chest with every ounce of her spirit.

Celestia’s brow raised as she noted the sudden growth of resolve in Twilight’s heart. Now, there was a definite drive in her eyes as she scrubbed the floor. A moment ago, Twilight was somber and disappointed in herself. Now, however, she was walking on air, reveling in her freedom. She looked empowered, as if she’d found some new purpose to her life. Twilight noticed Celestia gaze on her and toned back her step, blushing and sinking slightly.

“There isn’t a need to be modest, my dear,” Celestia chuckled. Twilight’s smile came back in full.

“M-magic.” Twilight’s voice came weak and faint, her eyes looking down at her chest with pride.

“Yes, Twilight.” Celestia replied, meeting her at eye level. “That was magic.”

“Celestia?” Twilight’s voice came out as a whisper.

“Yes, my darling?” the Princess replied with a smile.

“I learn books?” Twilight swallowed, the next bit coming out as a strangled gasp. “No Celestia help?”

Celestia pondered it for a moment, before nodding. “Yes, I think you’re ready to start reading on your own.” Was what she attempted to say. However, she didn’t get past “you’re” before she was suddenly pounced by a purple projectile.

“Twilight learn books!” she cried out with a smile. “Twilight learn magic! Thank Celestia! Thanks!”

“You’re very welcome, Twilight.” Celestia snickered. “I know how much you love them.”

“Books…?” Twilight looked confused. Celestia noticed her slip in an instant.

“Oh, my mistake, dear. I must have been thinking of somepony else I used to know,” Celestia mumbled. “Shall we visit the royal library?”

“Yes.” Twilight nodded once.

And so, the two of them made for the library, wings curled around one another. Twilight’s wings stayed unsteady, but she smiled and hugged close to Celestia. Celestia felt as if she were going to melt from how warm her heart was getting. While her student may have been fragmented and afraid, that fragmented shell was still safe in her care. She could still undo her mistake, and perhaps, by the end of it, Twilight would still love her.

Comments

[DarkSnowGaming]

I was expecting to see Luna in this chapter, I'm curious how she will react to Twilight losing her memories.