The Conversion Bureau - Synthesis

by FatesEnd

Secrets In The Forest

"Just wait until we're alone together, and I'll show you something new, something old, something sleepy, something of cease and peace and the long bright curve of space. Go deep within the forest. I will be waiting for you."

Solenoid had never seen anything like the Everfree Forest in his life. That isn't to say that he had never seen a forest before; the thing was, what he knew as a forest was little more than a tree farm, trees evenly planted with just enough room to grow and branches neatly trimmed for the efficient absorption of sunlight. The Everfree was as far as could be from that. Ancient gnarled trees reached down to the forest floor with twisted limbs, their tops weaving together in a thick canopy that greedily consumed much of the light before it could reach the ground.

The forest was eerily silent except for the chirps of bugs and the snapping of twigs beneath the hooves of the small group that Fluttershy led inside. The shy pegasus seemed to be the most frightened of it, trembling with each step, despite, or perhaps because, of her familiarity with it. She certainly wasn't the only one ill at ease with it, though. Bon Bon kept her gaze straight and her face dispassionate, but her buzzing wings betrayed her anxiousness. Glowing Hammer hugged his wings tightly to himself and walked on the tips of his hooves, as if such a thing could hide him from whatever beasts might be lurking. Solenoid cautiously watched the trees, each twisted tree an abomination lurking in the dark.

This continued for perhaps an hour, before he noticed a coppery smell wafting on the wind. Turning his head, he froze as he caught sight of something truly massive. Stalking perhaps twenty yards away was a creature the size of a small house with a mane painted brown with dried blood. Its lion-like body was marred with old scars and tattered bat wings hung from its shoulders. Completing the nightmare ensemble was a venom-dripping scorpion's tail.

He gulped, saliva moistening his suddenly parched throat.

"You guys have fucking manticores?"

His companions paled and turned around with wide eyes to see the monster.

Catching sight of the fresh prey, it opened its maw to reveal three sets of razor sharp teeth as it let out an earth shaking roar.

Steadfast and fearless, Solenoid gave his orders.

"Run runrun run run!"

Nearly tripping over each other, Masquerade's finest beat hooves.

Solenoid's mind raced as the predator gained ground.

He's big, he's definitely on the older side, and he's male. Not only are we prey, he's probably territorial. It won't be long before he catches up, so...

He gulped and stopped, wings fluttered to life as he pumped magic into them. Narrowly avoiding the manticore's hungry maw, he became airborne only to find himself face to face with the monster's tail.

Jerking out of the way, he began flying in circles to avoid the wickedly sharp claws the growling creature waved around in attempts to grab him.

A sharp squeak drew the attention of both pony and beast.

Standing only a few feet away was Fluttershy. Shaking and on the verge of tears, the meek pegasus let out a stuttering plea.

"Um, M-mister Manticore, i-if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you please let us go?"

A thick strand of foul smelling drool plopped from its jowls. With a snort, a paw the size of a car came down to swat her away.

Adrenaline rushing through his blood, Solenoid shoved his magic into his hooves, causing him to fall like a brick. Nearing its face, he kicked with all of his might.

With a sharp crack, the manticore fell to the ground, blood spurting from its nose as Solenoid crashed.

Wobbling to his feet, he looked upon it with astonishment.

"Holy shit," he exclaimed. "I just dropkicked a manticore."

---

The castle was certainly in ruins, yes, but enough of it was intact that Solenoid was certain that it would do. Circling the ancient spires, he began to plan.

"All right. First thing, we ought to fix some of the roof. We don't want any-Woah!"

He had tripped over a broken, half-buried pillar. It was strangely thin for a pillar, though. His first thought was to ignore it, but something told him that it was important. He carefully levitated soil away, uncovering more and more of the object. It soon became apparent that it was not a pillar, but the head of a statue. Turning it over with a hoof, he examined it. It depicted a pony-like creature in a grimace of terror.

'Man, whoever was the model for this must have been ugly.'

A familiar voice responded.

'Well, that isn't very nice.'

He jerked to his feet.

"Who said that?"

Bon Bon turned to him from a pile of rubble she had been examining.

"Said what?"

He shook his head.

"Never mind."

Turning his attention back to the head, he brushed off some of the dirt that covered it.

'You know, I'd prefer it if you'd kept your hooves on me. I haven't had an audience in months!'

He froze in apprehension, but kept his hoof on the bust.

'The statue. The statue is talking to me.'

'Ding ding ding! We have a winner!'

Solenoid tried to remember where he heard the voice before. Wait...

'You're that person from my dreams.'

'Oh my, I didn't know I left that good of an impression on you! I am one handsome devil, though, aren't I?'

Solenoid sighed.

'Just... Ugh. Who are you?'

'I'm just a poor draconequus down on his luck, but you can call me Discord.'

'Discord, Discord... Wait a minute, I've heard of you. Didn't you kill a bunch of ponies?'

'What, moi? You must be mistaken. I don't kill ponies! It's much more fun to play with them when they're alive.'

'When you broke out of stone, two ponies died and thirty were injured after you turned the roads into wet soap.'

'They should have read the signs! They said 'slippery when wet'.'

'Back when you ruled Equestria, you turned a mountain into mashed potatoes. The vermin that were drawn to it caused the Ponecian Plague.'

'They should have eaten it before it got cold.'

'When you broke out, you brainwashed the Elements of Harmony.'

'Brainwashed!? I don't brainwash! All I did was bring out what was already inside of them. Even the Element of Kindness, but she had it locked so deep down that I had to bring it out by force. I didn't even really want to do it in the first place. An insane world is so much more entertaining with sane inhabitants, but they were going to turn me back into a statue! And they did! Do you have any idea how boring it is being a statue? All you can do is get crapped on by birds and watch ponies walking around appreciating 'art'. It makes me want to puke, but statues don't have stomachs!'

'Speaking of statues, why are you here? From what I read, you should be in the Royal Canterlot Gardens, and intact at that.'

'Well, about that... It looks like dear Celly-poo lost her marbles. At least, that's what I can gather from the fact that she tried to kill me, the Spirit of Chaos, by pounding me into rubble. As it turns out, that isn't the best idea. You see, when she turned me into gravel, all of my chaos magic was let loose. I managed to direct some of it to blast my head away, but the rest of it did who-knows-what. All that I've been able to figure out is that a lot of people have been making spiritual connections with Her Royal Uptightness and ending up as crazy as her.'

'Spiritual connections... the newfoals. Wait, what exactly do you mean by 'spiritual connections'?'

'Oh, a spiritual connection is when two souls commune with one another. It's very powerful magic, and very dangerous to boot, so the fact that it's happening en masse is a bad sign. Seeing as they're ending up carbon copies of Sunnykins, I'd say she's altering their souls to match - and binding them to - hers.'

'That- That's evil.'

'You said it. The worst thing is, I don't think she even realizes how evil it is, and that even scares me! I've been trying to get to them before her, but Celestia has always been good at soul magic, and I can't do much since most of my magic is gone. You're the first sane pony I've managed to talk to.'

Solenoid paced around, processing this new information. After a few minutes, he placed his hoof back on Discord's head.

'That chaos magic Celestia released... would it be possible for it to, say, move a continent to another world?'

'Well, I suppose so. Or it could turn all of ponykind into walking masses of flowers. Chaos is a crapshoot like that. Why do you ask?'

'Then that must be how Equestria ended up on Earth!'

'Earth?'

'Ah, Earth is the planet that your magic transported Equestria to.'

'Hmm... What can you tell me about this 'Earth'?'

---

Discord's laughter echoed through Solenoid's ears.

'Oh man, you humans are a riot! I've never heard of a more chaotic race. And Princess Crazypants is trying to get rid of them? Well, I'll show her just what Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, is made of... Just as soon as I get my body back.'

Comments

[nighters]

ha discord dieing!? ill never understand that part some writer do to discord it such a sane answer after all ... heh he!

[Rakaziel]

Grenius! I really like your worldbuilding. And the dialogue was good, too.

[Rakaziel]

3834595 text you want to cover [*/spoiler] - without the *

[bh18]

Discord loves humans, and we in turn would love his pranks!
Seriously can anyone think of something we wouldn't find funny?

[kingofqwop]

3835511 Thank you!

[ThePinkShadow]

Steadfast and fearless, Solenoid gave his orders.

"Run runrun run run!"

I don't know why but this seems oddly familiar to me when compared to some past experiences, all I will say is a fire pit, yo-yo, flaming marsh mellow, firework, and a stupid dog do NOT make for a fun time.... to this day I STILL have no clue what happened in full detail, all I know is it all happened when I was cooking some rice and burned the water for it
oh, and there was a loaf of wheat bread used in ways that would make you avoid bread for the rest of your life...

[Waterpicker]

3933858 Yea Most of the population might not like them but Discord woudl be guaranteed to find atleast one human who would. Thou Discord would probably be more inclined to help humans ascend to the stars. Can you imagine the amount of a chaos we would produce with the ability to expand off this planet?

[H550]

3933858 Nothing. Why wouldn't he love us? We do almost nothing logically. We won the world because we cheated in life. Countries were founded on war and breaking cultural norms. We are a carefully contained Riot and Mob just waited to be released. When we fight its not called "letting slip the dogs of war" Some of the best troops in the world don't wear the title of Devil Dogs lightly. WE ARE CHAOS DENYING ITSELF!