A Man and His Daughter in Equestria

by UnknownBlizzard

Chapter 1 : Struck'd

A Man and His Daughter in Equestria

Struck'd

EdgarDoesEverything

It was somewhere around 1:32. A movie which Kathy and I wanted to see came out today and saw the midnight premiere. A sequel I never thought I'll see, a movie from my childhood. It was an wonderful movie, but Kathy staying up on a school night and I not being in bed is going to screw me over in the morning when I have to go to work. Kathy might sleep in one of her classes, that won't be good. I was lost in my mind as the credits of the moving now played.

"Dad, when are we going to go?" Kathy asked tiredly, tugging on Ray's shirt.

"Oh, sorry sweetie" Ray raises from his seat and picked up his trash. "Lets get going shall we?." The two now walk the stairs of the theater while bumping into someone on the stairs, they apologize and continue to the exit.

"Hope you enjoyed the movie." A worker said to the passing audience. Ray tossed his garbage into the bin.

"Thank you and have a good night." The employee's eyes widen

"Uh-uhh, th-thank you sir!" The employee said with a smile as he wasn't showed sympathy in a while and was grateful of it. Ray and Kathy walked out of the mall and headed into Ray's SUV. Kathy yawned, followed by Ray's yawn. The two reached Ray's SUV. Ray opened the door for Kathy and shut it gently. He went around the car. He reached for the door handle when it's suddenly opened. Ray looked inside to see Kathy had opened the door for him, he smiled and got in.

"Good movie huh?" Kathy asked

"Of course It was good, been waiting for that movie for my entire life." He said snickering. Kathy began to close her eyes slowly until she slowly cured into a ball and fell fast asleep. Ray took off his coat and placed it on Kathy gently and took the seat belt and begin wrapping Kathy slowly so she was comfortable. He then stuck his car key into the ignition and brought the car to life. It hummed a calm, soothing noise which was pleasant to the ears. Ray once again, yawned. he looked at the mirrors first, then he reversed back, making sure no cars were nearby. The car now moved and headed to their home. Ray took the highway to see that it was deserted. It's not so often you see an entire highway empty, exception with that one car that passed by them. Ray got off the highway and entered the usual road back home until his journey was block by a road blocked sign.

Road under maintenance, turn around

Ray swore under his breath and followed instructions. He drove and drove until he finally found a road that looked like that'll take them home. The road was quiet and unnerving, Ray began to think about his life. Life without his wife was hard. When she died, he nearly broke down, If it wasn't for his daughter... He would have gone crazy. Ray stopped the car slowly to the sight he was seeing in his eyes. He didn't know why he didn't noticed it before but there it was, snow white clouds that huddled together shooting rainbow thunderbolts to the ground. Ray couldn't believe what he was seeing. He thought he was dreaming and began to pinch himself. It wasn't a dream, he took out his old phone and began to record. Ray started to laugh and went to wake up Kathy but something caught his eye. He saw the air pulsing and vibrating in a twist formation. Out of instincts he began to to move the car back, he didn't knew why but fear hit him in the face like a surprise party. A bolt of unstable electricity struck the car, shocking Ray and Kathy, who woke up from the pain, screaming. The car stopped moving and shut downed.

"DAD! WHAT IS GOING ON!" Kathy screamed with pain that she received from the shock. Ray tried to open the door but wouldn't budge. He began to kick the window, he succeeded and made a way out. Ray grabbed Kathy and began to move her outside when another bolt of lighting struck. The two were once again, painfully shocked. Ray was breathing hard and so was Kathy who looked like was passing out. Ray slowly and weakly tried to put Kathy outside when a large beam of thunder struck the engine but not shocking the humans. Ray saw the front of the car wrapping and twisting in the air. The picture was being sucked into a small black hole where the lighting struck. It began to suck the helpless humans inside. Ray did what he could had only do.

Sweetie, whatever happens. I want to let you know that I love you, You're the best thing that ever happen to me. Never forget that." Ray hugged his now unconscious daughter in his arms and closed his eyes for the worst. A bright white flash that passed his eyelids with a deafening high pitch noise sucked the car and the humans in within a second. The storm immediately stopped and vanished within seconds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ray opens his eyes to see his daughter in his arm's, passed out and to be inside his car. He had a horrible headache and his eyes were pierced to see where he was. A dark haunting forest. His worst fear, being inside a nightmarish forest. Memory's of him as a child being lost In the forest flashed before his eyes. He remember seeing all of the demonic evils that haunted him. When he was rescued, no one believed him, to be called crazy only strengthen his trauma. His tragic past now came back, to ripped his head apart, to metaling kill him, but he didn't care, he has a daughter to take care now, this forest is nothing to him. He closed his eyes and slowly took in a breath. He looked at himself to be fine but was horrified to see Kathy have a deep, large gash in her forehead. Ray's heart sank. He saw an large amount of blood rushing out, he panic for a short while until he collected his thoughts and got to worked. He gently put Kathy down in the seat and jumped out of the ground. He phobia slowly set in. He went to the back of the SUV and opened the back. He grabbed the first-aid kit and his glove compartment. He then opened a small hatch and took out his 9mm pistol. He opened his glove compartment to see various of tools, spotting the duct tape, he quickly grabs it and begins to take some. He then grabs a small flashlight and sticks it to the gun with the duct tape. Ray was glad their was a small hole between the barrel and the bottom rail so he can attach the accessory. He turns on the flashlight, creating a good amount of light. He shines it through the forest to see his surroundings.

"Just a lot of trees, lets hope that all that is their is." Ray picks up the three extra magazines, he grabs his holster which had clip compartments. He inserts them inside and hears rustling in the bush. Ray dives inside the SUV and shuts the back door, he jumped over the seats and closed the door to Kathy.

"Fucking moron, you could've just went this way in the first place." Ray said with remorse. He grabbed Kathy and sets her in the back seats, lying down. He tried to see if any of the lights worked but didn't. He swore. Opening the first aid kit made him realized where was he. He grabbed anti-bacteral wipes and began to clean the wound. He then grabbed a water bottle he had sitting around.

"If she has a concussion, she won't wake up from me putting water in her wound." Ray slowly poured water on to Kathy who didn't wake up. Ray teared up, worrying that his daughter might be dead. He applied a clean cloth and wrapped medical tape to hold it in place. She slowly breathed which Ray was perked up by to know that his daughter alive. This quickly went away when he heard an ghastly anger growl from outside the car. He quickly rose his handgun and shined the flashlight outside the window to see pitch black. he waited and waited to see something...

"GRRAHH!!!" A muscler demon bear smashed threw the window and grabbed Ray and threw him against a tree. Blood splattered out of his mouth when he came on contact with the tree. His vision blurred seeing a tall figure reach into the window to grab Kathy. He wanted to stand up and do something but the shock of the attack was too much for his brain to handle. He hopelessly saw the bear hold on to Kathy and opened his decaying mouth to began sucking in air. Kathy mouth opened and her soul slowly was being sucked into the demon.

"NOOOO!!!" Ray stood up and ran towards the bear with his handgun pointed straight it's head. He shot 6 rounds, only three hitting. One ripping out a part of his jaw and the other two scrapping his skin. The demon bear tossed Kathy's body carelessly to the side and putted it's attention to the running threat. The bear swings his claw which Ray barely dodging by an inch. He gets behind the demon bear and hopped on to his back. The bear now enrage begins to try to shake of the prey, Ray feels a sharp pain. He shoots two bullets into it's back until he was jerked off. He hit the ground hard. The bear now charged at him, he held up his handgun and shot two rounds into the bear's skull, and bit the dust. Ray's handgun cocked back, he reloaded his weapon and took the empty clip and inserted into the pocket which he took out the new one. Ray cocked the handgun and scanned the area for anything else. He rushed towards Kathy to see her breathing. He sighed in relief. Once again he let he guard down and heard multiple growls. He 180'd to see four more bears, looking ferocious. Ray picks up Kathy with one hand and raises the handgun with the other hand. He knows he can't win.

"Might as well put up a fight." The four bears charged, his shot a full clip into one, barley bringing it down, he couldn't reload and closed his eye for the awaiting pain. instead he heard the agony growl of the bear whose entire back was vaporized, it fell with a heavy thud, the remaining bears looked up to the sky which Ray did to, a light sapphire beam came for the sky and pierce a bear in the head, killing it instancing, the other bear ran to the forest to be put down by another beam of light. Ray's eyes begin to slowly close, he looked down to see a large wound and massive amount of blood rushing out. Ray stumbled and Kathy gently floated in the air and was set down with care, Ray slowly walked to a horse shaped shadow which glowed in the darkness, he fell to his knees, he reached for the shadow, he fell to the ground, not moving. The horse shadow reviled itself to be princess Luna

"Oh my goodness..." Luna began slowly walking to Ray. She turned him over gently with her magic to see the large gapping gash, recoiling a bit. She galloped to the other strange figure to see a smaller gash in her head. Luna thought quickly and teleported into the castle. Luna was inside Celestia's room, Celestia laid in the bed, sleeping peacefully, she slowly breathed in and let one out.

"Celestia wake up!" Luna yelled. Celestia awoke. Her eyes seemed tired at first but after some fast blinking, she was bright awake. She turns her head to her clock to see It was midnight.

"Dear sister what is the matter?"

"Celestia! I felt a disturbance in the energy fields and something was teleported to our galaxy! Their is aliens that we haven't seen before in the Evergreen forest, It's bleeding out along with another smaller alien! We must go now to aid them!" Celestia nodded and Luna teleported them to the location. The aliens laid on the ground, heavily bleeding. Celestia closed her eyes a thought.

"Mother of me"

"What should we do sister?" Luna asked

"Go and call the Elites and the paramedics, we need to be careful as we know nothing about these" Luna nodded her head and teleported back to the castle. Celestia began walking close to the alien. The large one laid motionless while the smaller one was slowly breathing. Celestia began to use her magic to see if she can close the large wound on the aliens chest. Her magic disrupted and disappeared into the thin air, she tried again and this time was successful.

"Thank goodness I got the blood stopping, now I need to check on the little one" Celestia trotted to the small alien. She began to do the same what she did with the larger alien. She fixed her gash with ease.

"Interesting, this one was easier to do" Celestia uses her magic to set the aliens side by side. She noticed the shiny solid metal on wheels, her curiosity got to her and she went to go investigate. She was amazed on what she saw, already she knew that their species were way more advance then them. Using her magic she saw inside. The smoothly bent medal and seating was amazing to see. Celestia heard Luna and Elites flying in the air with an medical chariot. Celestia looked down at the aliens, she stared at them, hoping for them to be okay.

NOTE

You liked that joke :D Mother of god? Mother of me :D

Hi there wonderful readers, I wrote this at one in the morning with pain from my tailbone as I broke it from skateboarding, I couldn't fall asleep from the pain so I decided to write, It eased my pain a bit but I finished something I wanted to do yesterday. I haven't seen a story where a parent and his child go to equestria so I decide to write one, For once, I check all the grammar and wrote with all seriousness and I couldn't find an grammar issue. SO IM FREAKING PROUD OF THAT! But please, ruin my parade if I did make a grammar issue, I'm looking for coverart, message me If interested, a shoutout and follow will be awarded :D

I do not own My Little Pony, All of the respective work belongs to their rightful owners, I'm am just a 15 year old who enjoys to write stories but If i have broken a law, I'm truly sorry and have the story taken down, this is just for entertainment and not for profit, thank you. Have a wonderful day

Comments

[Hermes]

I knew you could do it! Proud o' ya

[UnknownBlizzard]

3474129

[Hermes]

Just take it slower in both story and writing. That way its easier to hang on and less mistakes for the grammar Nazis' to chew you out for!!

[RMWarPony]

this has promise hope you can keep it going

[ComatoseVEVO]

God this is probably the most original story i've had the pleasure to come acrros i've never seen this concept of a father and daughter trapped there lest see how this develops

[UnknownBlizzard]

3474247
Thanks, and I will

Got 2 more stories about this topic, so I got used to writing these

[PinkPearl]

it was decent but i like how it starts. now i'm curious

[Blade Star]

while I'm not a grammar Nazi, there are a few points that would make the story flow smoother. Love your premise though, keep this up.

[Hermes]

3474286 See edgar !? The freakin Nazis man!

[Hermes]

3474261 BTW names for the fic? Why not Family in the dimensions?

[UnknownBlizzard]

3474286

Please, point them out :D It helps me grow as a writer

[UnknownBlizzard]

3474613
I like the name because it targets an audience real quick, people who like to read human fics :D

[Blade Star]

3474660 First line - time should be either 1:32pm/am or half-past one. O'clock is only used on the hour.

Next, grateful not graceful.

No such thing as a reverse pedal, I assume you mean he put the car in reverse.

'until their journey home was blocked' not block.

'DAD WHAT'S GOING ON Kathy screamed not scream.

Most of the other faults I can see are just the use of the wrong tense. Don't mean to be a grammar Nazi, but errors can really take you out of the moment in an otherwise excellent first chapter.

Hope this helps.

[Luna Republic]

"I couldn't find an grammar issue!"
But seriously, great story. Keep up the good work!

[UnknownBlizzard]

3474928

Thank you and yes I need help with vocab, I try my best on searching up a good word but fail most of the time

[Radon18]

This has a lot of promise but (like many others have said) you should slow down a bit, be more descriptive, and perhaps throw an editor on top.

[ComatoseVEVO]

Hey a chapter was up on my feed but it tells me to put a password what do i do

[Rune Flash]

never heard of a demon bear that devours souls, care to give me the name?