Starlight

by BeingFrank

Starlight

A blue unicorn ran through the Equestrian night. He didn't know where he was going. All that mattered was that he found somewhere to go. Anywhere but one place in particular. He could never go there.

From time to time he looked back at the filly sleeping on his back. She was a purple unicorn, with a lavender mane. Sometimes she would wake up, crying like a newborn foal. Though she seemed like a foal, the unicorn knew that she would be a lot older in only a few days.

It wasn't long before he saw lights in the distance. He ran toward them, hoping for a town, or at least a house. Anywhere safe to leave the filly.

Anywhere but one place.

As he approached the town, he couldn't see a sign to tell him where he was. There were too few lights for him to recognize his surroundings.

The unicorn's worry eventually subsided. Stop worrying, he said to himself. I mean, what are the odds that out of every town in Equestria, I end up in Ponyville? He was so relaxed he didn't even think of using his horn as a light.

His instinct told him the filly would like the next house. He trusted his instinct. He could only hope the ponies living there would take her in. Treat her like one of their own. He smiled at the thought.

He placed the sleeping filly, wrapped in a blanket, on the front steps of the house. He stuck the note he wrote inside the blanket. After a moment, he added a second, smaller piece of paper, just to be safe. He rang the doorbell and left as soon as he could.

When he got far enough away, he started crying. He had stopped it. He had saved the world. And he hadn't had to harm the filly to do it. The other ponies had been wrong.

He continued out of the town until he saw a sign. He might as well know where he left her. Maybe he could come by sometimes. See how she was doing. The sign said, in large letters:

Now Leaving Ponyville
Come Back Soon!

"No!" he said aloud. "No! No! NO! I had to bring her here! I just had to! Calm down. Calm down. There's still a small chance, so long as I didn't give her to-" he looked where he left the filly. The door she was in front of was attached to a tree. The Golden Oaks Library. As he watched, his mouth hanging open, a pony opened the door, read the note, and brought the filly into the library.

He had messed up. Everything he had been warned not to do, he had done. There was nothing he could do for now. He thought over all of the warnings he had been given and came up with one idea. The one thing he could try.

***********************************************************

It was a normal, uneventful night for Twilight Sparkle. She was unable to sleep, so instead she stayed up reading, and thinking about the events of the day.

It had started out a normal day. She was with her friends most of the day. Trying on dresses for Rarity. Being an audience for Rainbow Dash's latest trick. And then, lunch happened.

It was a normal lunch, all six of them, together. And then her brother showed up. He had decided to take an interest in her personal life, and set her up with a royal guard. And the worst part was that her friends agreed with him. Without even listening to her, the others agreed for her.

That dinner was maybe the most awkward time of her entire life. The way he talked to her was as if she had begged him for that dinner. It was terrible. She almost had to run out the door just to get it to end.

But she couldn't get mad at her friends for doing it. She agreed with them. At times like this, with Spike and Owliscious in Canterlot for a much-needed vacation, under the guise of work, and her other friends most likely asleep, she was lonely. It made her wish that she had some pony for times like these.

And then, she heard the doorbell ring. That's odd, she thought. Who would come by at this hour? She wasn't expecting any pony. She walked up to the door and looked through the small window to the side. She saw nothing. She opened the door, suspecting a prank. She looked around, seeing nothing.

And then she looked down. She stared, with a mix of emotions, at the unicorn filly sleeping on the steps. She saw a note in her blanket with her. She picked it up and began to read.

This filly is an orphan. She has no name. We received her anonymously not too long ago, but sadly have no room for her. We have left her to you in the hopes that you might take her in and raise her as your own. If you do, then may Celestia watch over you and guide and protect the two of you. If not, then we humbly beg for you to give her to a pony that will. She deserves a family that will.
- The Church of Celestia

Twilight looked at the letter. She had never heard of the Church of Celestia. And why would they give the filly to her? She was just a mare. She'd be better off with an actual family.

But looking down at the sleeping filly, she started to realize how cold it was. She should bring her inside, shouldn't she? Just for the night. Then she could find a place for her in the morning. Picking the filly up in her aura, she walked back inside the library and closed the door.

Twilight looked for a place for the filly to sleep. Seeing nothing, she walked up the stairs and placed her on her bed as she began to stir. Twilight sighed. She had brought her in, and already had to deal with a screaming child. When the filly stopped, Twilight searched for something to do. Knowing she wasn't tired enough to sleep, she sat on the floor, opened a book, and began to read.

After a few pages, she noticed there was something sitting next to her. The filly had gotten up, and was now beside her reading the book with her.

Twilight began to flip the page she was on. "Eh!" the filly objected. Twilight stopped mid-flip and put the page back. The filly continued to scan the page. When she had finished, she pointed at the page and said "Ah!" Twilight flipped the page and the two began to read together.

Twilight was shocked. She was reading fast, much faster than a filly as young as she seemed should be reading. And she was actually reading. Twilight had read the book before, and had shown the exact emotions the filly was showing to the same parts she reacted to.

When they finished the book, the filly pointed at the pile of books nearest them. "More!"

Twilight looked at her in stunned silence. Wasn't she just making noises before? Since when could she say actual words? She has to be older than she looks, Twilight thought. That's the only logical explanation. "Not right now, little one. It's pretty late actually, we should get to sleep."

She pouted. Twilight moved her tail around the filly to guide her to the bed, and the her surprise the filly rubbed up against her. Twilight was frozen with a feeling she didn't recognize. It was like love. A special kind of love, like a filly has for her...her...

Twilight didn't want to even think that last word. This was just supposed to be for the night, right?

But was it? The way they got along, the way Twilight felt for the filly and she seemed to feel back. How the filly was interested in things Twilight liked. How close they felt to each other already. How similar the two looked. It was like they...

Twilight pushed that thought away. Why would the filly feel like this? As if on cue, she noticed second, smaller piece of paper still in the blanket and read it.

As a fair warning, she is very impressionable. She may treat the first mare to take an interest in her like her mother. She will mean it.

Why did she find this now? Now there was little chance the filly would leave. She tried to do a good deed, and now was stuck with a filly.

She put her annoyance aside and led the filly to the bed, lifting her onto it. She pulled the covers back, and the filly slipped into them. Twilight got in, and placed herself as far away from the filly as possible.

But try as she would, the filly moved to her until they were rubbing against one another. Twilight didn't want this, but she quickly became comfortable with it. Wasn't this what I wanted anyway? A pony to be close to? Company? Her annoyance faded and was replaced with pleasure.

And if that wasn't enough, the filly then said something that made Twilight's ears prick up, her hair stand on end, and her mind reel. "I love you, mommy."

Twilight heard that over and over again inside her head. It wasn't supposed to be like this! she thought. It was just for the night. I can't deal with this! I can't let her go now she said that and she can't stay here! What do I do? What do I say? I didn't want this!

But didn't she? She had been wanting company, now she had it. And the short time she had spent with the filly had made her feel a happiness she hadn't felt before. And why did she have to leave? She liked it here, Twilight could always get another bed for her, she could stay.

And Twilight knew, deep down, she had always wanted a daughter. What the filly said had just brought those feelings to the surface. Those words she didn't want to think about before, the filly made her want to. She could get used to this.

"I love you too," she said. She meant it. Hearing it made the filly push against her more, until she couldn't any more.

I guess that's that then. She was happy. She never would have thought this could happen. She had a daughter! All she needs is a name.

A light caught her eye. It wasn't a normal light, it was star light. And from where she was looking, it was like the light from the stars was all landing on the filly. Starlight. She mulled it over and over in her end. She liked it. She nudged the filly awake.

"How do you like the name Starlight?"

The filly looked at her, eyes full of confusion. "Whose is it?"

"Yours, if you want."

The filly looked up at her. "I like it mommy." She nuzzled Twilight. Twilight nuzzled back.

"Good night, Starlight. Sleep well."

Twilight hoped that this would have a happy ending. So many parts of her life hadn't, she hoped this would be one of he few that did. She wanted to be able to look back, years from now, and think, "That was the night my life changed forever. When I finally realized what I had been lacking for so long. When I met my daughter for the first time."

Comments

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

Hmm, interesting.

I don't have much else to say XD I might give this a read.

[Night_Shine]

Hello! I'm going to give this story a relatively in-depth review because you have some pretty cool ideas here, and I want those ideas to be clearly communicated so that others can better appreciate them. Which is why, unfortunately, I need to do some criticism.

1) Show, don't tell.
You have probably heard of this basic writing concept before, but if you don't--or even if you do--check out the article in the link that gives a basic overview. Here is another article that focuses on sensory imagery, which is crucial to this writing concept.
You have a great story, but in order to communicate, you cannot just tell the story. Readers like to guess things, so make them guess a little bit. If you simply tell them the story, they will most likely find it boring due to how obvious everything is--this is why mystery stories are very popular. Am I saying that you should make this into a mystery story? Not necessarily. Still, try to find ways to imply what you are saying instead of saying it directly.

2) Pacing.
Slow down, bro! I get that Twilight comes to love the filly on her own, but that kind of motherly connection does not happen within five minutes and/or 1500 words. A very well-known fanfiction (that you have probably read, but if you have not, I strongly recommend it) called Past Sins uses the motif of Twilight adopting an orphan filly and coming to love her as a mother, but the thing about Past Sins is that it takes nine chapters (approx. 77,000 words) for Twilight to realize how much she loves the cute lil filly, and that feels realistic because the reader can see how their dynamic relationship grows over several months of in-story time. So....slow down.

Those are the two biggies I wanted to tell you. Now, for my favorite part--what I liked!

1) The mysterious tone of the introduction.
Even though this would have been cooler if you showed it instead of told it, you captured my attention very well with this intro. I am legitimately curious about the history of this blue unicorn. How did he save the world? Why would he harm the filly? My hesitance based on the writing style was far outweighed by my curiosity as to the story itself.

2) The last couple scenes were adorable.
This requires very little explanation. Even though the emotional impact of this scene would have been greater at the tail-end of a bunch of other scenes building up to it, I still found it freaking adorable.

Alright, those are my two (four?) bits on your story. Good luck! Have a nice night!

[Prince_Dark_Bane]

So cute and cute. I can't decribe it any other way. AHHHH! CUTE ATTACK. By the way that's like having a heart attack but from cuteness.