Discord, Q, and Sheldon Lee Cooper

by Lance Skyes

Prologue B: The Fandom Collision

In a small comic book store somewhere in Pasadena, California, Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstadter, Howard Wolowitz, and Rajesh Koothrappali were all looking through comic books. (Duh.) It was generally silent before Sheldon spoke up. “You wanna know something that’s baffled me about the Doctor Who slash Star Trek crossover, Assimilation Squared?” he asked Leonard.

“The fact that they used Cybermen instead of Daleks?” Leonard replied.

“No. I think using the Cybermen was a great call. What I was wondering is why the Cybermen turned on the Borg before the Borg turned on the Cybermen.”

Leonard was silent for a moment as he looked up at Sheldon with a confused expression. “That is a good point,” Leonard finally said.

Meanwhile, Raj was talking with Stewart, the owner of the comic book store. “So, what’s up, Stewart?” Raj asked.

“Well other than my life being a lonely pile of crap...” Steward started, “...not much.” There was an awkward pause before Stewart spoke again. “Actually, something interesting has happened. You know the actor John de Lancie?”

At that moment, Raj and Sheldon excitedly asked two different things at the exact same time.

“The actor who portrayed Q in Star Trek: The Next Generation?” Sheldon asked.

“The voice actor who plays Discord from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?” Raj asked. (I just want to point this out. How funny would it be to hear “My Little Pony” said with an indian accent?)

Stewart was silent for a moment while trying to figure out what the two nerds had said. “Yeah, him,” he finally said. “He’s going to grace this pathetic little comic book store with his presence.”

“Oh, this is incredible!” Sheldon said, jogging over to where Stewart was. “I finally have an opportunity to get my Star Trek: The Next Generation Phaser signed by Q himself!”

“And I have an opportunity to get my Princess Twilight Sparkle figurine signed by Discord himself!” Raj said.

“Well come by tomorrow,” Stewart said. “He’ll be here.”

“This is going to be so exciting,” Raj said to himself. “This is an opportunity second only to meeting Lauren Faust herself.”

“This is going to be so exciting,” Sheldon said to himself. “This is an opportunity second only to meeting Gene Roddenberry himself.”

That night, the gang was gathered in Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment and accompanied by Bernadette, Penny, and Amy.

“John de Lancie’s really coming to Pasadena?” Bernadette asked Howard.

“Yeah,” Howard replied.

“Oh my god, the John de Lancie?” Penny asked.

There was a slight pause before Leonard asked Penny, “Do you even know who John de Lancie is?”

“For once, yes I do. He played some guy from My Little Pony.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to interject there,” Sheldon said. “I can’t help but notice that several people around here are thinking that John de Lancie played a character from My Little Pony, which is a show for little girls about colorful pastel ponies.”

“HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!” Raj shouted. He was about to continue, but the only reason he was able to talk in front of the girls was through that quick shot of rage. As his social anxiety finally caught up to him, he silently sat back down and started chugging his beer so he could continue.

“Sheldon, John de Lancie did play a role on My Little Pony,” Amy said. “He played the villain Discord, who actually acts a lot like Q from Star Trek.”

“My Little Pony is not a show for little girls!” Raj said, now thoroughly drunk and able to talk around women... but still thoroughly drunk. “You may not know this, but the show has a massive following among adult men who go by the general term ‘bronies’.”

“Really?” Sheldon asked. “That’s absurd. How could men like a show that’s designed to sell pastel equine figurines?”

“You take that back right now!”

“Now now, let’s not start fighting,” Leonard said. “Raj has a right to be a brony, Sheldon, and bronies have just as much of a right to exist as Trekkies or Whovians.”

“No they don’t,” Sheldon said. “They’re men who like a show for little girls.”

Raj was really getting steamed at what Sheldon was saying, so Amy decided to interject. “Sheldon, why don’t you let this go? It’s little more than a slight disagreement.”

“No it’s not,” Howard said. “Sheldon likes Star Trek, Raj likes My Little Pony... I think we have a fandom war on our hands, people... and Sheldon is one of the contestants.”

“Do not make me use my Royal Canterlot Voice on you, Sheldon, because I will do it!” Raj shouted.

“What is that?” Sheldon asked. “Your pretty pony version of Klingon?”

In a very crappy imitation of Princess Luna’s voice (also in an indian accent), Raj shouted, “THOU DOST NOT POSSES THE RIGHT TO MOCK OUR FANDOM IN THIS FASHION! WE SHALL FIGHT THEE UNTIL THOU ADMITS DEFEAT!”

“Consider that challenge accepted. *insert “But I will be the one to defeat you.” in Klingon*”

“Well, it’s getting late,” Penny said. “I already mooched dinner off of you guys, so I’m gonna head home.”

“You aren’t going to stay?” Howard asked. “This is going to be exciting.”

“Nope. Sorry.” With that, Penny left the apartment.

“Penny’s right, Sheldon,” Leonard said. “It’s late and you have to be up early tomorrow to meet John de Lancie.”

“Very well,” Sheldon said. “Rajesh Koothrappali, we shall resume this battle tomorrow.”

“Well you best bring your A-game,” Raj said, “cuz we gonna go all Pinkie Pie on yo’ flank if you’re not careful.”

The two nerds stared each other down for a moment before both turned to leave the room.

“Too bad Penny left the room,” Howard said.

“Why is that?” Leonard asked.

“Because she could probably tell us what the hell Raj just said.”

The next day, the four nerds (not accompanied by their female companions for obvious reasons) were at the comic book store. However, Howard and Leonard agreed to keep Sheldon and Raj separate to keep them from fighting.

Unfortunately, though, it came to Raj and Sheldon being inside the store at the same time, even though they were in two separate places in line.

Sheldon was further up in line, so he got to John de Lancie first, holding his toy phaser in shaky hands. “Mr. Lancie,” Sheldon said. “Let me just say what an honor this is to be in your presence.”

“Okay,” John de Lancie replied. “So, what do you want me to sign? Breaking Bad poster? MLP comic?”

“Now why is everyone obsessed over this stupid show about little ponies?”

“Excuse me?” Raj shouted from further back in line. “How dare you call the show stupid!”

“I’m sorry,” Sheldon said. “Should I go back to the standard adjective ‘girly’?”

“Oh, that is it! I challenge you to a duel!”

“*Klingon for “You shall be defeated!”*” Sheldon then started pretending to fire his toy phaser.

“Have a little taste of PRINCESS TWILIGHT, BITCH!” Raj started aiming his Twilight figurine towards Sheldon, making shooting sounds with his mouth.

“Should we stop them?” Leonard asked. “They look kind of pathetic pretending to shoot those things like that.”

“No, let them battle,” Howard said. “John de Lancie will break them up himself if it’s meant to be so.”

John de Lancie was certainly annoyed by the two nerds fighting as they were and honestly wanted to break them up. So, he did the only thing that he thought would get their attention.

He snapped his fingers.

However, rather than the two nerds breaking up their fight, they both disappeared in two flashes of white light. “Oh crap,” John said. “This is BronyCon all over again.”

“What the hell happened?” Leonard shouted.

John turned to where Leonard and Howard were standing. “You two. Were you their friends?”

“Yes,” Howard said. “What happened to them.”

“The energy created from their two fandoms colliding created an imbalance, which was the reason I accidentally sent them to where they currently are. Listen, you two. They don’t belong in the world I sent them to, and if you don’t go and keep an eye on them, said other world won’t stand a chance against their combined might.”

“Might?” Leonard asked. “How would Sheldon have-”

“Never mind that. Come over here.” Leonard and Howard stepped forward in front of John. “I’m going to send you to this world, but there’s a fatal imbalance going on there, so you’ll have to figure out how to fix it if you want any chance of coming back.”

“Wait,” Leonard said. “Why are we going if we might not come back.”

“Because if that world is destroyed, this one is sure to follow suit. Now, are you ready?”

Leonard and Howard looked at each other for a moment, then Howard turned back to John. “We’ll do our best.”

“Very well. Oh, by the way, say hi to me in that other world for me.” John then snapped his fingers and the two nerds disappeared in two flashes of white light. “Yup. Both Earth and Equestria are screwed.”

Sheldon woke up with a huge headache. “Oh god...” he said to himself. “What happened? Where’s the comic book store?” Just then, Sheldon let out a horrified gasp. “Where’s my limited edition Star Trek: The Next Generation Phaser!?”

Sheldon’s train of thought was quickly derailed (there’s a joke there) when he heard Raj shout. “YEAH! I WAS RIGHT! KISS MY PLOT, BEE-YATCH!”

“What’s going on?” Sheldon asked. He looked around for Raj, at the same time realizing that he was in some sort of park. He tried to get up, but he quickly fell flat on his face. “Ow. Why am I suddenly so uncoordinated?” Sheldon tried to get up on all fours to continue looking around when he quickly realized that he didn’t even have feet anymore. They had been replaced with weird stubs that he somehow subliminally identified as one thing.

Hooves.

“Oh friggity-frac. Not this again.”

Author's Note:

I happen to like The Big Bang Theory. If you don't, sorry, but I think this is going to make the story a lot more interesting.

Comments

[Hidden Brony]

This was the make or break chapter for me, and I have to say that you had me at

*insert “But I will be the one to defeat you.” in Klingon*

Consider this liked and faved. You did not disappoint.