Monkey See, DraconEquess do. A Hands Omake

by Rift120

Part 1

- - - -
The Afternoon sun shone down on the field as Discord flew in and tinkered with his Simulator. He glanced up as Andrew and the Girls approached. Smiling warmly at Fluttershy he let out a self-satisfied chuckle and commented.

“You know I really do think this fantasy island thing is going to work rather well for me. I get some chaos, life lessons, tormenting the human for free, and enjoy some laughs.”

Andrew blinked and then frowned. “ Wait what was that last one?”

“ Life Lessons?”

“ Cute... real... cute.”

Andrew Scowled at the Dracoequine, who merely looked back in faux innocence. Before he could continue though, Rarity interrupted with a toss of her mane

“Hmmm.. speaking of Discord Tormenting, I did have one odd thought that occurred to me the other day while I was designing a lovely gown for Colgate's dental conference.”

Andrew glanced quizzically at her. “Why would she need a gown for... No... never mind. I'm sure I will be happier not knowing.”

Rarity shot him a bemused smile before continuing on. “anyways, Discord my dear. We all know Andrew appeared in Equestria just about the time we defeated you the first time.”

Discord sniffed haughtily

“ I was robbed.... I should have totally won that match you know.”

Andrew smirked and replied in a sing song tone “ But you didn't and ‘tasted the rainbow’ instead.... Why I… OW!!! HEY!”

He glared out from under the shards of clay and dirt from the potted plant that had just descended on his head with no warning. As he glared Discord whistled innocently.

“Ahem, If you two don't mind, Rarity looks like she wants to finish.”

Rarity quickly seized the momentary silence Rainbow Dash’s comment created to finish up the thought she had been trying to lay out for everyone.

“Right. Anyway I wondered what if Andrew had arrived a few months earlier and was around during your reign of ... well chaos?”

For a moment Discord stood in confusion before letting a thoughtful look cross his face while he pondered the question. During that silence Twilight stepped forward to respond.

“ Honestly Rarity I don't think it would have changed too many things.... Andrew is wonderful and all, but he doesn't have any magic or skills that would be effective against Discord.”

Andrew raised his eyebrow, and then dryly replied.

“ Really? And just which of the two of us was it whose plans were not anticipated and countered by the chaos master over there while Fluttershy was reforming him?”

Twilight blushed as she recalled the results of Andrew running around ponyville scheming while she thought he had been safe at Zecora’s during Discords reformation. Before she could answer though Applejack interrupted

“He has a point hun... even if he did rope mah sistah and her friends into his chain of hair brained schemes to deal with Discord, that is if Fluttershy had failed to reform him!”

Andrew huffed and crossed his arms in annoyance as Applejack glared at him. Just before he could open his mouth to reply in defense of his ‘schemes’, Discord interrupted by clearing his throat.

“As fascinating as watching Andrew put his foot in his mouth would be. I must admit that Rarity has presented a unique challenge of chaotic conundrums in her what if. Plus I get to directly mess with Andrew at my peek anything goes! And not get in trouble for it! The perfect afternoon!”

Andrew Blankly stared at Discord, before replyin a incredulous voice. “And what happens to me in the OTHER sims don't count for that?”

“Well no, not technically. That's only indirect meddling! This would be directly messing with you. See the difference?”

Andrew raised a hand to protest, before shaking his head and sighing. He then sat down on the grass with the rest of the girls in front of the large screen Discord had formed his simulator into while they had been chatting. He waved his arm magnanimously

“Well since i can't really stop you, carry on. Hopefully this will be somewhat amusing.”

The simulator purred as an image appeared on it. Quickly focusing on the location of Zecora's hut, with Andrew and Zecora entering the picture pushing a large cart full of odds and ends.

*inside the sim*

Andrew groaned as he set his cart down and wiped his forehead free of sweat.

“ Phew... Thanks Zecora for keeping me company. Nothing like an old fashioned dig to cheer a man up.”

Zecora smiled.

“Uncovering the riddles of the past is certainly time well spent.
However, wouldn't asking the Princesses have been more efficient?"

Andrew chuckled from where he was carefully examining the artifacts they had found for damage on the trek to the hut.

“Well yeah. I Suppose I could have had Spike send a request to Celestia, but I'm sure they are far too busy to answer about how life in Equestria was back when. Besides ,the open spaces of a dig, the joy of uncovering a new find, and the puzzle of figuring out the pieces of the past on your own are a reward by themselves.

Really helps a guy get his head on straight and figure out where he is going in life you know? Especially given where I am...”

A sudden smile flashed across Zecora’s face as she turned towards Andrew.

“ Ah, your reason to explore the castle suddenly becomes clear!
You were perhaps figuring out your feelings for some mare you hold dear?”

Andrew blushed as he tried to defend himself.

“ HEY! I was doing serious research! I Certainly wasn't digging around so I could have some time alone to to figure out things! Certainly not about Twilight and Fluttershy!"

Andrew paused and then hung his head as Zecora's smirk widened.

“... And you didn't mention any ponies specifically did you...”

“ Correct you are, though your thoughts not far.
From the mare you adore, yet these feelings you abhor?”

“ I’m not exactly used to having romantic feelings for beings who look like livestock back on my world.” Andrew Mumbled.

Zecora walked over to Andrew and laid a comforting hoof onto his back as she responded.

“ Yet beings we are, not beasts.
Would you not consider it, at least?
Tis lonely to live without love,
and this situation your people did not conceive of.”

Andrew sadly chuckled. “Well, Not exactly... But most of them are people who dress up in furry costumes at cons...”

Zecora opened her mouth to speak some more advice. However the pair of them stopped and turned as they are suddenly interrupted by a trio of frantic young calls coming towards them from the path to Ponyville.

A moment later the Cutie Mark crusaders came barreling into view crying out in unison.

“ ZECORA! ANDREW!!!!”

“ OH thank god! a timely interruption”

Andrew muttered under his breath, before letting out a small grunt as the three young fillies crash into his legs... Andrew’s bemused expression shifting into a deep frown as he notes how all three of them were showing signs of being extremly upset, with tears in their eyes. Sweetiebelle and Applebloom looked especially miserable and distraught.

“Girls, What's wrong?”

At his question all three of the girls begin to babble and wail at once.

“:....PONYVILLES CRAZY!”
“ ....EVERYTHING HAD GONE NUTS WHEN WE RETURNED FROM CANTERLOT”
“:.... AND WE GOT SEPARATED FROM MISS CHEERILIEE WHILE SHE AND DERPY WERE HEADING TO THE SCHOOL!”
“ SO WE DECIDED TO HEAD ON HOME...”
“ ...BUT BIG MAC WAS ACTIN LIKE WINONA!”
“: .........RARITY WAS MEAN!!!”
“ ...AND THEN PINKIE SAID SHE HATED ME MORE THAN DISCORD!”
“ ... THAN APPLEJACK WAS ACTIN’ ALL STRANGE”

The trio ended their separate rants altogether though with a single line.

“ AND THEY WERE ALL GREY!!!!!”

The Crusaders followed this up by suddenly flinging themselves around Andrews legs and crying inconsolably. As the three Wept Andrew and Zecora exchanged extremely disturbed and confused looks. After a while Andrew knelt and began gently stroked their manes to calm them down...

“Shhh... it’s okay girls... take a deep breath.... calm down... and try to explain again.... coherently please?”

It takes a few minutes but the trioeventually do calm and begin to explain again in between sniffles. After a few moment of their explanation Andrew blinks and glances at Zecora.

“ Turned grey and started acting nasty? What did someone unleash a hate plague... that's impo...."

Andrew pauses and mentally reviews everything he's encountered in Equestria since he arrived here before grimicing
“....Okay its Slightly improbable.... and WHO exactly is Discord?”

At his question the CMC pause their recollection and proceed to tell him about their visit to the Canterlot garden maze... and then Scootaloo telling how Pinkie was ranting about how she hated everyone and Discord.... While Sweetie Belle claimed that Rarity said she didn't care what Discord did so long as she left her rock Tom alone...

At the mention of Tom Andrew exchanges another bewildered look with Zecora. Before he stands up and shakes his head.

“ Right... I think the only way we're getting to the bottom of this is if we check on Ponyville ourselves...”

Zecora nods in agreement and the five of them head back up the path towards town. After a short walk they stop at the edge of the Everfree forest. Peering out towards

POnyville Andrew and Zecora both go a little bug-eyed as they observes the unnatural transformation taking place there.

“ The hell...? Okay apparently we DO have a problem.”

“ When you little ponies said Ponyville had gone screwy.
I did not expect things to be so looney....”

Andrew nods in agreement, than pauses staring downward. Quickly noting that the zone of insanity seemed to end at the border to the forest.

“Well whatever is going on doesn't seem to interact well with the Everfree... And there’s something I never thought I’d see, the day when the EVERFREE FOREST is the sane area… Hmm Twilight is probably our best bet to be able to figure things out.”

Andrew lets out a deep breath, as he comes toa decision. He turns to address Zecora and the Crusaders directly.

“ Okay! Here's the plan. I'll go check things out and try to round up some help. Since whatever this thing is doesn't seem to affect the forest, it should be safer for you all in here.... Well, Relatively speaking anyways. Zecora can you keep an eye on the Crusaders till this is straightened out?"

The girls look up at Zecora with big scared eyes, and the Zebra sighs. Then nods her head at Andrew

“ To watch over the young fillies I am more than able...
Though if my hut will survive, that is another tale.”

Andrew chuckles and exchanges a few more words with them. He pauses a moment to watch the quartet head back down the path towards Zecora's hut. After they trot out of sight he rolls his shoulders and shifts his Staff on his back to a more combat ready position

“ Alright then Shepherd lets do this. It’s just you and… a whole town of utter insanity. Well more insanity than usual that is. Hmmm.. come to think of it I may need a few more things to deal with this. Better head home to pick up some equipment. Fluttershy’s cottage is pretty close anyways, certainly easier to reach than the library. So it makes the better first stop.”

With a nod to bolster his courage Andrew cautiously edges out of the forest and enter what was once Ponyville. Quickly angling towards Fluttershy's cottage where he has been staying the past few months. His Stealthy approach proves to pay off as after a few random but minor encounters he makes it to the front door of the cottage.

Quickly entering he sets his staff down by the door and walks forward. Before suddenly stopping as he looks up and sees he is not alone.

“ ...Fluttershy? Umm Hi. You’re looking..... Grey...”

“Hmmm?” Fluttershy looked up from where a couple of otters had been cowering and let a huge sneer cross her face. “ OH LOOK! Another LOSER! No wait! It’s the lone Freak-of-a-kind!”

Andrew lets out a small exasperated Groans, as he approaches his erstwhile landpony. “ Great it IS the friggin Hate Plague!.... Now Fluttershy calm down... I need you to focus.”

Then Andrew makes his first mistake by trying to calm her down by placing a comforting hand on her fore shoulder.

*outside the sim*

The real Andrew winces as he watches his simulated self get violently slammed to the ground and berated by Grey colored Fluttershy. Finding himself uncomfortable with the scene he turns his gazes towards Rarity and Applejack.

“... So when Discord did get loose did you really have those confrontations with the crusaders?”

In response to his question Rarity blushes deeply, while Applejack tries to hide her face with her hat.

“ Please Andrew don't remind us... it was a rather painful episode.”

A bemused Rainbow Dash turned her own attention away from the sim and let loose a mischievous Chuckle. “As painful as what you did to make it up to the girls?”

Applejack let out a pained Groan and from under her hat muttered “Why'dja have to bring THAT up????”

Now even more curious Andrew turned his full focus on Rarity and raised his eyebrow questioningly. The stare off continued for a few moments until Rarity cracked.

“ Oh fine! If you must know we had to spend a whole week as their loyal assistants helping them with their 'crusading'.”

“ … And nuthin BUT Crusading that whole week.” Applejack chimed in a despairing voice recalling the week of horror, as she mentally filed it.

Andrew winced in sympathy, recalling his own designation as the Crusaders preferred adult supervision while Crusading. While Twilight added her own memory of the situation

“ I remember by the first day I had to ban them from the library till the week was over..”

”Sugarcube Corner managed to last two whole days before banning them!” Pinkie Pie idly commented, only half paying attention to the conversation as she pulled out and arranged some candy and snacks while Discord paused the Sim

“ooooh.. it took forever to get the tree sap out of Angels fur.....” Fluttershy reminisced not wanting to be left out. While Discord looked up intrigued.

“ Huh! I may have to look into those events myself when I have some free time... Sounds delightfully chaotic. I wonder if I can pick up some pointers….Those Crusaders often even surpass MY wildest dreams..”

Andrew let out a sigh. “ And on that disturbing note, let’s get back to the show. Before the master of disaster here decides he has to one up the Crusaders.”

“Spoilsport” Discord pouts before with a wave of his claw the simulation starts up again.

Author's Note:

I like writing Omakes, and Andrew's Hands-verse seems to spark something in my muse. SOme of them are good enough that Andrew actually posted them on his Blog. Including Monkey See, Draconequess do. Sadly his RL has vastly cut down Andrew's writing time and urge. So only about half of the whole Omake story was posted in his blog.

Well I want it all to be seen, and lighten Andrews load a bit so maybe his Muse will bless us with more of his fics. So with his blessing I am re-posting this as a separate story, and plan to eventually include the whole shebang for your enjoyment . Who knows if this works out well I may add a few other of my Omakes in the Handsverse for your reading pleasure.

I just didn't realize I'd have to edit it out of script format......... Well hope you all enjoy part 1 until I can get around to editing part 2 to appropriate format. ugh.

Comments

[tomzon]

JEAS
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