Being of Two Minds

by cosmofur

Strange Vists

Gentle Breeze woke the next morning with only the faintest idea of how she got to bed. Indeed most of the previous evening after she, Bon Bon and Lyra had left the Princesses Celestia’s hospital room was one foggy blur of disjointed memories.

For example she knew that she must have sat for an hour with Nurse Tender Care in a ring of charged magic crystals as part of her daily treatment, but she had no real memory of it. Nor could she tell when they had left the hospital and walked to Lyra’s and Bon Bon’s home.

All she really knew was her world had been turned upside down over the last few days and learning she had a living son, had been the straw that broke the pony's back. Gentle Breezes mind had more or less shut down and she was now moving though her life under a blinding cloud of uncertainty.

Coming to herself, to at least some degree, Gentle Breeze sat up in Lyra’s old bedroom and tried to think about what she should do next. And by ‘next’ she meant literally what she needed to do next. Real long range planning way beyond her at this point. She was struggling enough to remember how to stand up.

She sat there for a long time, uncertain of the time, when she started to hear voices coming from downstairs.

“Voices? Right Lyra and Bon Bon.” She thought to herself. “I should go talk to them.”

It wasn't much of a plan, but it was something. It was enough to get her moving, she even remembered to brush her teeth before going downstairs. (She had picked up a mane brush as well, but only stared at it blankly before putting it back down. While her hair was starting to grow back, it would be months before there would be enough to need brushing) After some more delaying and walking in circles, she made her way down to the kitchen to talk to her new roommates and friends.

“Good Morning!” Said a way too cheerful Lyra when Gentle Breeze entered the room.

Gentle Breeze tried to say ‘good morning’ back, but it came out more as a mumble.

“Not a Morning Pony I can see.” Bon Bon noted. “I made a pot of coffee, or if you're feeling brave you can try one of Lyra’s mint tea mixes.”

Nodding, Gentle Breeze started to reach for the pot on stove when she realized that there were two pots and both seemed equally black. “Which is which?” She asked.

“The one closer to you is the coffee, the other black stuff is Lyra’s tea. Careful you don’t mix them up.” Bon Bon answered.

“Huh?”

Lyra giggled, “I used to have the worst time waking up in the morning, and normal coffee didn't do it for me, so I invented my special tea. There’s some spices from the Everfree in there and Herbs I get from a local Zerba. Even Bom Bon will take a cup if she’s done an all nighter making special candies. Perks her right up!” Lyra gave Gentle Breeze one of her infectious smiles.

Gentle Breeze normally would have taken the more familiar coffee, but seeing Lyra’s perky smile, she didn't want to disappoint the green unicorn, and instead took a small cup of the tea.

She sat with the others and cautiously smelled the vapors coming from the tea cup. There was a strong scent of mint, but other more exotic spices as well like ginger and adobe. Even that little sniff made her eyes water. Steeling herself, she lowered her muzzle and took a tiny sip.

“HOT HOT! SPICY!” Gentle Breeze panted, it was like she had taken a big bite of hot pepper, swallowed, and took another bite. The heat blasted her mouth, and she nearly screamed, then a second later, the heat was gone replaced with sense of freezing mint sensation that seemed to make her whole head go numb.

Gentle Breeze wasn't sure if it was a reflex to wash away the sudden menthol effect or not, but she found herself taking a second sip, This time the hot spice was barely felt but strong soothing spices like cinnamon and ginger seemed to dominate. She found herself taking another sip and another. Each sip the taste seemed to change, by the time she got to the bottom of the cup, Gentle Breeze was finding she was enjoying the novelty.

She also realized that true to Lyra’s word, she was now wide awake. If this was due to a massive caffeine buzz, then she knew she would crash hard later, but for now she suddenly was clear headed and feeling fine.

Bon Bon waited until Gentle Breezes finished her tea before saying. “With all the new ponies coming into town, and so many of them needing help at the Clinic, I going to have a lot more candy orders than usual. So I need to work in the kitchen and can’t go with you today. I hope you don’t mind but Lyra told me she’s free and will go with you.”

Gentle Breeze nodded, but then blushed in embarrassment, “Last night was a bit of blur to me. Do you remember if the nurse scheduled another treatment?”

Lyra pulled a tiny notepad out of mane and looked it over. “She did, we’re supposed to be back by mid afternoon for next session, but more importantly the Princess asked if we would visit her for lunch.”

Gentle Breeze blinked slowly to organize her slow thoughts. “Yes, she’s going to want me to tell her about the Cult. I hope I don’t disappoint her.”

“Why? You are going to tell her everything you know. Right? You’re not going to hold back secrets now? You don’t feel any loyalty to them anymore, do you?”

“What? Loyalty? I can only feel disgust at the Cult!” Gentle Breeze grumbled, then added more quietly, “and myself.”

Bon Bon reached out a hoof and gripped Gentle Breeze’s shoulder. “No don’t start blaming yourself, we've been told how powerful that brainwashing spell is. Even Princess Celestia was affected.”

“For ten years I did anything the Cult wanted me to do. I even delighted in it. I told myself they were my only family, when I had a real family back in Coltsdale, waiting for me. I was dead to them and they were dead to me, and all that time was stolen. I can’t get it back. I’ll never hold Banyan as a baby, I wasn't there when he spoke his first word, or performed his first spell.” Gentle Breeze started crying, but there was an angry glare behind her tears. “You know what I was doing? I was a fucking toy for a hundred different stallions and mares. A battery for their spells, and cunt for their cocks! And I enjoyed it! I told myself I was doing ‘good’ I was ‘helping’ ponies. I was a thing to be used and I relished at it!”

She put her head down on the kitchen table, and covered it with her hooves. That muffled the sound of her crying, but didn't keep tears from forming puddles on the glossy table surface.

For a long moment the two other ponies in the room looked at each other, then in silent agreement they moved forward and embraced the shaved former unicorn.

For a long while the three ponies were frozen in a silent embrace and less than silent tears. Slowly Gentle Breezes sobs quieted down.

Bon Bon was first to pull back, then more slowly Lyra, until the three were once again sitting around the kitchen table, almost as if nothing had happened.

Bon Bon spoke first, “Gentle Breeze, I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, it be an insult if I even pretended to understand, and I want you to know that as long as you need it, you have a home here. Once we’ve had a chance to explain things to the Cake’s I’m sure you can also bring Banyan.”

Lyra smiled, “Yeah lucky kid! Choice of living at Equestria’s best bake shop or best candy store. Better get him signed up with the local hoofball team or he’ll be rolling rather than trotting around!”

Gentle Breeze was still processing what Bon Bon had said and stared blankly at Lyra, then a with her face still wet with tears, she embraced both ponies in repeated short hugs, unable to put in words how grateful she was. She had played the role of ‘Oracle’ for the Cult, indulging in drug and magic induced prophetic visions, but never before was she so certain of the future, even if it would take every drop of her willpower to rebuild her ties to her lost family.

They talked some more over breakfast, but it didn't feel real to Gentle Breeze until Lyra shrugged on a saddlebag (with Bon Bon’s cutie mark on it) and motioned for the former Cult pony to follow her out.

And walked right into a crowded street of mayhem and confusion.

Ponyville was alive with a lot more ponies than usual. Many of them guards but also crowds of civilian ponies. Most of them confused and wandering around asking for directions and instructions from any pony that would give them an ear.

As they walked along towards Sugarcube Corner, Lyra was repeatedly stopped by ponies asking for directions to the hospital, the town hall, as well as directions to both Carrot Top's and Sweet Apple Acres barns where a large number of ponies were being sent to camp. While confusing at first, Gentle Breeze and Lyra realized that a huge train, much larger than any that had stopped in Ponyville before, had arrived carrying hundreds of evacuating ponies.

“You’re lucky that you came on yesterday’s train.” Lyra told Gentle Breeze. “We would probably never have met if you came in this crowd.”

Gentle Breeze quietly agreed but soon a thought struck her making her lower her head in shame, “I hadn't realized the Cult was going to be this disruptive to the Canterlot ponies. I though a few guards and princesses might be upset, but there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of ponies here.”

Sensing her mood, Lyra told Gentle Breeze, “It’s going to be all right! All this means is Bon Bon’s going to sell a lot more candy than usual! “ Before Gentle Breeze could reply, Lyra added, “Besides we’re here! Let’s see go see Banyan!”

They had indeed arrived at Sugarcube Corner and Gentle Breeze followed Lyra though the door. But then, she froze. Standing half in and half out of the shop, she looked around uncertainty growing. “Maybe we should come back later, I’m sure the Cakes are busy with the breakfast crowd and we don’t want to bother them now.”

Before Lyra could reply, a different voice answered, “Oh it’s no bother deary! Carrot and I are used to the morning rush. Just go and find a table and I’ll be right with you to take your order.” It was Mrs Cake, who was holding two trays of dirty dishes and was backing away from some nearby tables she had just cleared.

Lyra head butted Gentle Breeze to get the mare moving. “Just sit here for a moment and I’ll talk to Mrs Cake, I’ll tell her what we learned about you and Banyan yesterday.”

“Oh Right! She only thinks we’re here for breakfast.” Gentle Breeze realized. So she let Lyra drop her off at an empty table towards the back of the store, and watched the green unicorn walk over to the counter where Mrs Cake was now sorting a tray of donuts.

Gentle Breeze waited until Lyra and Mrs Cake were talking quietly before lifting her eyes from the table in front of her. Then with great nervousness she started to scan around the room, looking for the young colt she had spent time playing with yesterday.

At first she didn't see Banyan, until Gentle Breeze realized he was in a booth across the bakery, near the side windows. He wasn't alone though, three fillies about his age were with him.

Gentle Breeze paused, she wasn't sure what to do. She had partly expected the Cake’s two foals, but they being so young wouldn't have stopped her from explaining things to Banyan, but these were older fillies, they would ask questions. Questions that were going to be hard enough to hear from Banyan. Gentle Breeze started to shake.

For several moments, she stood at the halfway point, shaking so hard that it was making the floorboards squeak. She could not move, to take a step forward towards Banyan was to face his rightful scorn. She could hear it in her head, the questions she dared not ask herself. ‘Why did you leave me?’ ‘So what if they lied to you, couldn't you tell it was a lie?’, ‘How could you come back now?’ and the worst was one she barely allow herself to form even in the nightmare parts of her mind, ‘Is my father in the hospital because of YOU?!’

“Nooo!” she gasped and started to turn, to run.

Before she could take even a step towards the door, a familiar friendly voice stopped her “Hi there Mrs!”

It was Banyan, calling out to her. Gentle Breeze turned to him, her eyes a little wild and her breathing starting to get heavy.

Banyan seemed taken aback by something in her expression, but he continued his already formed question at a slightly less enthusiastic volume. “Can you show my friends your trick with the paper cutting?”

One of the fillies, a young earth pony with an over sized ribbon in her mane asked in an accented voice. “Please mam! Banyan here was telling us all about your paper leaves, and Sweetie here thinks that we might be able to get cutie marks in Oraga-ah-game I amy, ehh paper cutting?”

The white filly unicorn corrected the earth pony. “Apple Bloom it’s Origami!” Then directing her attention to Gentle Breeze, she said “Please miss we really want to try it!”

The orange pegasus filly mumbled “It’s not like we haven’t tried everything else.”
Then as if on queue, all three fillies turned to Gentle Breeze, gave her absolutely huge and quite disturbingly cute puppy dog eyes as they all three said “PLEASE!”

Gentle Breeze found it hard to look away but they managed to for a second and glanced at Banyan who gave her a shrug before facehoofing in annoyance at the girls.

‘I’ll find a time to talk to Banyan later, after I uhh distract these three fillies for a little while.’ Gentle Breeze thought to herself, and gave all four youngsters a soft nod in agreement.

The three fillies yelled ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders paper cutters! Yay!” while Banyan covered his face in embarrassment.

With some relief that she could put off a few minutes her talk with Banyan, Gentle Breeze sat down with the four children and pulled some of the loose paper they had over to herself. She started making folds.

Banyan had already started showing the fillies some of the tricks Gentle Breeze had taught him the previous day, so she quickly walked them through the basic folds and cuts. As she had noticed previously, Banyan had a bit of knack for the art, but the three fillies were a mixed bag. The one with the best control was the earth pony Apple Bloom with just a bit of practice she was making some quite passable flowers and paper birds. Not that she was likely to get a cutie mark from this, it was her skill with hoofwork and following directions rather than a special talent in the craft that was aiding her.

The Pegasus Scootaloo was just rushing too much and kept ripping the paper, but she didn't seem to mind when Banyan told her that her paper flowers looked more like spider egg sacs than plants. Instead she said, “It’s cooler this way!”

Gentle Breeze really didn’t know what to make of the little filly unicorns, Sweetie Bell's efforts. She used her magic to cut her folds and somehow it messed up the paper. She would try to make a simple butterfly cutout, and when she unfolded it, it would be a detailed paper cutting of Ginger Washshoe crossing the Delamare River. Followed by a frustrated cry of “Oh Come on!”

Looking over at the counter where Lyra and Mrs Cake stood, Gentle Breeze saw that the older baker was just not letting Lyra get much of word in and the mint green unicorn was looking frustrated with the small talk. They had been working on their projects for half an hour or so, Gentle Breeze saw that the three fillies were concentrating on their work deeply enough that she considered a whispered conversation with Banyan.

“Banyan.” She whispered while keeping an eye on the girls to make sure they didn't look up. “I have something important I need to talk to you about. Do you think we can perhaps go to the other side of the room for a few minutes?”

Banyan looked up curiously but nodded. “Sure.” and they two slipped away from the window booth, leaving the three fillies to work on their projects. When they were far enough away for some privacy, Gentle Breeze whispered to Banyan, “Last night, after I left Sugarcube Corner, I went to the hospital to see your father.”

“My father!? You know my father? What’s he doing in the hospital?” Banyan suddenly looked scared.

Gentle Breeze was surprised no one had told Banyan where his father was. “Sorry! I didn’t know you didn’t know. Please don’t worry, your father’s not badly hurt.” Gentle Breeze felt a flash of discomfort saying that, it was only true in the sense he wasn’t hurting physically, yet, she continued, trying to comfort the child, perhaps with a lie. “He’s getting the best treatment, he’s even in a room, right near the Princess, and you know the Doctors won’t let anything bad happen to a pony next to the Princess.” She tried to smile a the colt, hoping her face wouldn't break.

“Can I go see him?” Banyan asked still looking worried.

“Perhaps later, we can go together.” She said and Banyan looked a bit calmer.

“But we have to get permission from the doctors first.” She continued, “besides that wasn't all I wanted to talk to you about.”

“It wasn't?”

“Yes, remember I said Red Wood’s room is next to the Princesses?”

Banyan nodded, though not understanding why that was important.

“Well I saw the Princess last night and we talked for a while.”

“You did! You spoke to the Princess? Wait which Princess was it? I know Princess Twilight, she even comes to my house sometimes and makes breakfast, but I've only seen Princess Celestia and Luna a few times. Why is a Princess in the Hospital?”

Gentle Breeze smiled at this, her son, friends with royalty, but the thought of Princess Twilight making her husband and son breakfast gave her a momentary pang of pain, or was the jealously? “It was Princess Celestia, she’s was not feeling too well before but she’s getting much better.”

“Oh good!” he seemed cheered up by that.

“Well me and Princess Celestia were talking about, well you.”

“About me? It’s not about my homework is it?” I wasn't able to get my school books from my locker at PCU when Mrs Fluttershy told me I had to stay with her for a few day.”

“You go to PCU? At your age!” Gentle Breeze gasped in amazement, she hadn't realized that Banyan went to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. “No no it nothing to do with homework. but wow I’m so proud of you!”

“Huh?” Banyan asked in confusion.

Just then before Gentle Breeze could say anything more, two mares walked into the store.

The first to step in was a pink earth mare that was bouncing like a rubber ball. Her puffy mane and tail like so much cotton candy, and she was saying in a loud sing song voice ‘...and I going to throw so many parties that Canterlot will run out of cake!’

Following a step behind her and moving much more quietly was a pink maned yellow Pegasus pony. “That sounds very….nice” she said in a low soft voice, that managed to carry as far as Gentle Breeze’s ears by barest of luck.

Gentle Breeze didn't recognize either of the two mares, but everypony in the room seemed to know them, waving them hello. Gentle Breeze for her part shrugged and turned to continue talking to Banyan, only to suddenly find the Pink pony had somehow jumped from the door entrance to being right in front of her face without bothering with trotting between the two points.

“Oh Wow! Another new Pony!” the pink mare nearly screamed in Gentle Breezes face. “The whole town is just full of new ponies! But WOW! You’re really new and different! I've never seen a pony shave her mane like your’s! Did you do that to keep the flys off? Wait, no, that makes no sense. Ponies use their tails to keep the flies off, and you shaved your tail too! Do that mean flies leave you alone? Perhaps you made a deal with the flies? I bet you shaved off your tail so you can’t swipe the files and they promised to leave you alone? Oh boy Oh Boy Oh Boy! Ha! Fluttershy this pony must be as kind to animals as you are! She won’t even swat a fly!”

Gentle Breeze was left speechless, unable to respond to the wild pink pony. Before she could get her head around the random banter, the yellow pegasus had walked over. Looking nervous she was half hiding behind her mane when she replied in a very quiet whisper of a voice. “Oh my! That’s very kind of you, I always feel so bad when I accidentally swipe a cute insect, but sometimes I can’t help it, especially after they bite or sting me. Sometimes I even have to nurse them back to health, and its really really difficult to get bandages the right size for worms and beetles.”

Gentle Breeze had already given up trying to understand the Pink one, now found herself staring at the yellow pony in nearly equal confusion.

Before she could get herself back in mental gear to reply to either newcomer, Banyan spoke first. “Oh Hi Fluttershy, Pinkie! This here is Gentle Breeze, she’s really good at making paper flowers and stuff! She’s been showing us how!”

“That really very nice of her” Fluttershy spoke to Banyon with hardly any of the shyness she had shown Gentle Breeze. “But I’m afraid now that I’m back, I have to take you back to my cottage. I really shouldn't have imposed on the Cakes, but we were needed in Canterlot on such short notice!”

“Oh it was fine dearies, Carrot and I loved watching the little stallion and he was very good with the foals.” Mrs Cake had walked over in time to hear the tail end of Fluttershy’s speech. A few steps behind her was Lyra looking back and forth a bit frustrated.

While Mrs Cake was talking, Fluttershy had bent down and given Banyan a nuzzle, while telling him to get his things.

Gentle Breeze felt a flash of jealousy seeing Fluttershy, a stranger, a stranger who had LEFT her son alone with the Cakes, getting a nuzzle from her son, and she had never, not even once gotten one from him.

“ No!” She said, at first as a whisper, then she repeated it louder. “NO!”

“What?” Fluttershy flinched at the sudden noise. “What’s wrong!”

“You left him!” Gentle Breeze seethed in an angry but quiet voice.

“I’m sorry” Fluttershy bent low, as if she was being yelled at.

Pinkie got between Gentle Breeze and Fluttershy, “What’s the problem?” She asked confused.

“She doesn't deserve Banyan! She left him alone! He was so sad and bored and lonely! Why! Why would anyone leave him!” Gentle Breeze cried, hot tears blurring her vision as she pointed accusingly at Fluttershy.

Banyan who had been walking towards the kitchen stairs to get his few possessions, turned to look back in confusion. Along with just about all the other ponies in the room, they looked at Gentle Breeze not understanding why the former unicorn was getting so upset.

Fluttershy was now on the ground trembling, her hooves over her head, she whispered “I’m sorry, but the Princess said it was important!”

Mrs Cake also chimed in a bit cross, “Little Banyan was in no trouble and perfectly safe here, don’t you know!”

“But...No!....It’s not fair! Don’t take him away again! Not again!” Gentle Breeze was now a full blown wreck.

Lyra had finally put the pieces together and moved in to comfort Gentle Breeze. She quietly told her, “Please Gentle Breeze, calm down, they can’t understand, I wasn't able to explain everything Mr Cake, and the others know even less.”

At the point Pinkie was starting to get angry herself. “I love to see ponies smile! And you’re not smiling! You’re doing the opposite of smiling, you’re making my friends upset and all sad! I can’t let you do that! So you better start talking buster!” Getting down on the floor in front of Gentle Breeze, Pinkie made a mock angry face and went “Grrrr! You start cheering up or I’ll have to take drastic action!” She then pulled a cream pie from out of her mane and held it in a threatening pose.

Gentle Breeze didn’t care a fig about what Pinkie was talking about, instead she pointed a hoof at Banyan, seemed to shrink down when he noticed her pointing. “Don’t take him away, he can’t go with you!”

Mrs Cake shook her head and stepped between Gentle Breeze and Banyan, while Fluttershy got on her belly and quickly crawled protectively towards the colt. Gentle Breeze tried to look around Mrs Cake to keep Banyan in her sight, but the earth pony baker was having no more of it. “Dearie, your friend Lyra started telling me some story about you and Banyan, but I don’t care.” She reached up with a hoof and pulled Gentle Breeze’s muzzle, forcing the former cult member to stare into Mrs Cakes eyes. “I’ve known Fluttershy for years and she is the most caring and trustworthy pony in all of ponyville! Also don’t you know, that Princess Twilight Sparkle herself gave instructions for Fluttershy to watch the child. You have no right to deny her!”

“No right!” Gentle Breeze roared, “No right!”

Gentle Breeze was so angry and upset that her next words came out with such force that the windows rattled and dust was loosened from the overhead wooden beams.

“I HAVE VERY RIGHT! HE”S MY SON!”

Lyra facehoofed, while every pony in the room looked at Gentle Breeze in shock. For a long moment nopony said anything until Fluttershy squeaked, “Oh dear!”

But Gentle Breezes eyes were locked on Banyan’s who was frozen in place. His eyes wide as dinner plates and every variation of shock and surprise washing over his features.

“That can’t be.” He whispered, “my mom’s dead.”

Author's Note:

I'm not putting these out on a fixed schedule, but this one took longer than usual to get together. There a lot of emotional changes, and multiple main characters with distinctive catch phrases and speech styles to attempt to work in. I'm my original draft I was going to have Gentle Breeze attack Fluttershy and then spend another chapter or two trying to earn back trust. But while that could have been a legitimate plot development, it was also distracting from the main plot.
Still she DID yell at Fluttershy and there are some who think that along is an unforgivable sin.

Da da da Dummmm.

Comments

[Trevor12300]

But she only did it because she hadn't seen her son until now