Strange Love-Part 4
The three sisters finally reached Canterlot after a few hours of flying in the chariot. When they reached the point of landing, their father, a snow white pegasus with a blue mane and tail came running towards them. He was a member of the Royal Guard and was rarely seen without his armor on in Canterlot, but he had on at this moment. His Cutie Mark was a crimson red shield. Ratchet was the first to run up to him. She wrapped her forehooves around his neck as the two embraced. After hugging her father for a bit she backed up and let her sisters talk to him.
“Hi Dad…” Blue Rainbow mumbled as she looked at the ground and kicked a rock around with her hoof. Moon Brush walked up to her father and nuzzled his neck lightly before she backed up. Blue suddenly ran over and wrapped her forehooves around her father. “Daddy….” She muttered as she sniffled a bit. Crimson let out a sigh and nuzzled his mare.
“Whaty?” He said, like he always did whenever someone called him daddy. Blue giggled a bit and backed away from him. “Now… Lets go see your sister… Shall we?”
All three of the sisters nodded and Crimson turned around. He started to walk towards the big Hospital at Canterlot.
“Star! Star!” Draco yelled as he grasped the scroll he found in his left paw. He ran up to Star’s shop and walked inside. “Star! You have to read this!” He said as he panted. Star picked up the scroll with her magic, a greenish-blue aurora surrounding the scroll as she read it. Her eyes were wide by the time she had finished the scroll.
“Oh…. My….. Celestia!” She lost concentration and dropped the scroll. It fell to the ground with a light thud. Draco bent down and picked up the scroll, clutching it tightly. He let out a soft whimper as he looked down at the unicorn, a look of shock on her face.
“Um… S-Star… W-What should I-I do to h-help..?” He muttered softly as he crouched down on all fours to get face to face with the dark blue pony. She looked up at him as she showed nothing but a look of helplessness on her face.
“I can’t go… So you have to. Go. Fly to Canterlot. Ratchet is gonna need you. She has a HUGEEE crush on you. I would go, but I don’t have time, nor wings to get me there. And I am not getting on that dreaded train.” She nodded at him before she frowned a bit. He hadn’t budged. His head was going in circles. ‘Did she really just say that Ratchet has a crush on me?’ he thought to himself before a hoof in the torso brought him back to the real world. “Go to Canterlot. She will likely be flying around the hospital there. Trust me. Just comfort her. Try and distract her from her sister. This is all I ask of you, Draco.” That was all he needed. He dropped the scroll and turned out the door. He looked up to the sky and started to run. He spread out his wings and started to flap them up and down, quicker and quicker. After what seemed like forever, he finally lifted up off the ground and was well on his way to Canterlot.
Ratchet, her sisters, and brother were all sitting in the waiting room with their parents. Ratchet’s brother was a purple unicorn with a light brown mane. His name was Hashtag, and his cutie mark was a blue hashtag. Their mother was a purple pegasus that had the same color mane as Ratchet did. Her cutie mark was a rainbow.
“Hashtag?” Rainbow said in a soft voice towards her son. He looked over at her with a frown. “Do you want to go in and see Dashing?” Hashtag gulped as he nodded. Rainbow stood up and walked to the door of Dashing’s room with Hashtag who followed her quickly. Hashtag opened the door, the knob covering in purple magic for a moment before Rainbow walked in, with her son behind her.
It wasn’t long before Hashtag came running out of the room. He embraced with his mother as the tears flowed down his cheeks.
“Shhh……… She will be okay Hashtag… Shhh… Don’t worry now… Mommy is here for you…” Rainbow said softly as she rubbed her son’s back softly, hoping to calm him down. Ratchet heard crying from her Big Brother and her eyes got all teary. She rubbed her eyes and sniffled, knowing that if Hashtag cried, she would. Ratchet felt guilty. She felt sad. She felt anger. She felt the discord welling up in her. She could feel the disharmony forming in her heart. And he, he never left her mind. Not for a moment.
Crimson walked up to his daughter. “Hey kiddo… Are you ready to go in and see her?” He said softly and quietly to her. She looked up at him and shook her head. “You have to stop thinking of what she will look like. You just have to go and see with your own eyes.” Ratchet took a shaky breath as she nodded slowly. Her father turned around and headed down the hall. Ratchet followed behind her father with her head low. He walked in the usual way a royal guard did as they walked into Dashing’s room. Ratchet walked up to the bed and look at her sister. Her coat was a purplish brown and was usually brushed through. There were rough spots, bald spots and even places where her fur was matted. She looked up her sister and saw that half of her usually braided mane was shaved off, and some of her coat. The bald spot had a 4 inch long cut on it with 24 stitches in it. There was a tube in her mouth and a ton of wires connecting to all kinds of places on her body. All of those wires were hooked up to machines on the wall. Ratchet backed up and took a few shaky breath as she backed up away from the bed and turned to face her father and hugged him. The tears had been stinging her eyes for hours now. She just stood there, hugging her dad and crying. Her tears soaked her cheeks and made her eyes bloodshot. It took a long while but she stopped hugging her father.
“Lets ….. Go…. See…. Mommy… Please.. Daddy.” Ratchet said shakily as she walked out of the room.
Her mind was swirling around. So many thoughts, wrapping around each other in her mind. Some of them were ways her sister could harm her self more. Some of them were just sad thoughts swirling through her head, telling her it is her fault, telling her she could have saved Dashing. She was trying to push the thoughts away, but they always would creep back up on her mind. It almost felt like her brain hurt. Her throat hurt from holding back all the tears. She was dying on the inside. She never got a break from being teary eyed. Never. She just needed somepony to comfort her. Her dad just wasn’t enough. She knew who she wanted, but he would never come. Or would he? She wanted to know. She just needed somepony. Somedraconequus. There was something about him. It was his personality partly. He was shy and nice. He was caring and soft. But he was strong and brave. His red eyes and yellow eyes gave her comfort. The sound of his voice was ringing in her ears. The feeling of his soft coat. All of these things is what she wanted. And then, she saw it. A brown blur zipping past the hospital window, breaking her thoughts as she turned her attention to the window. One, short name came from her mouth.
“Draco…” Her father looked back when he heard that name. The thought coming back to his head. Green Spark knocking on his door and informing him about how much trouble Ratchet is in. That Draco would hurt his little filly. He wouldn’t have it though. He would not allow a monster to hurt his filly. But, before he could grab onto his daughter, she was zipping out the window after the brown blur of fur.
“Oh hay… I can’t deal with this right now…” Crimson mumbled to himself as he galloped to the waiting room. Rainbow Flash looked up at him, a look of worry appeared over her face as she opened her mouth to speak.
“Where is Ratchet?”
“With that.. Stupid… Bucking… Draconequus….” Crimson mumbled with a hint of hate tingling in his voice.
“Draco! Draco!” Ratchet called out for the draconequus as she flew behind him. It took a moment, but he recognized that voice. It was more raspy and shaky than usually. He thought she may have been crying and ran into him, but no. It was just the sound of her being on the edge of crying. She had been like that all day. Draco turned around and was surprised as hooves wrapped around his neck. He was shocked at the feeling of a warm body on his in the cold night. He felt as she stopped moving her wings and he started to move his wings faster to hold the extra weight. He felt as a few tears wetted the fur on his neck. He felt the mare he knew to be strong, break down before him.
“So…. You can’t remember the last time you cried, eh Flash?” Draco questioned as he rolled around on the cloud next to Ratchet.
“Pffft! Hell no! I don’t cry. I am a strong mare. I rarely show emotion.” Ratchet said with over confidence.
“Ah I see… On the other hand, me? I tend to show my emotions.” Draco said in his soft, low voice.
“Awwww… The big bad draconequus isn’t so big and bad after all, huh?” Ratchet chuckled as the draconequus tried to hide his blush.
“N-N-No! I am just a sucker.. For… Uh…. Anything cute or somepony in love is what I meant.” The draconequus mumbled as he buried his face in the cloud.
“Awwww, is the ‘Big Bad’ draconequus blushing??” Ratchet teased softly as she stood up on the cloud and walked around him. Draco responded with a mumbled. Ratchet chuckled softly and opened up her wings.
Draco stopped living in old memories as the white mare looked up at him. “D-D-Draco?” She said through tears and sobs. Her cheeks were soaked with tears. There was a stinging in her throat. The last time she cried this hard is… Well never.
“Yes, Flash?” Draco said in his soft, soothing and calming voice as he tried to comfort the saddened mare. She almost felt as if her sanity was being picked at a bit, but wasn’t it always? The sight of her Sister, who was always flawless. To see her broken. To see machines connected to her body. To see a tube down her throat. That would pick at anypony’s sanity.
“I’m scared…. I don’t want to lose Dashing… My sister… My idol…. She is so beautiful… But now… She just looks…. Broken… And I hate it! I wish I was on that bed instead of her! I would do anything to be on that bed instead of her!” The pegasus was on the verge of tears again.
“Shhh… Flash….. I think you just need a break from his hospital… Lets go for a walk in the garden… How does that sound, Flash?”” Draco said in a soft voice. His voice always comforted her. She looked up at him and nodded and unwrapped her hooves from his neck and started to slowly fly towards the Royal Canterlot Gardens, Draco close behind her.
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ahobrihtoiryuihoyta, I am having a mini feels attack.
This is how all of your major feels attacks start man, it's like an earthquake. There's the small tremors at first followed by the main tide, which is then bordered by more small tremors afterwards.
Nonetheless, I am having a feels attack and I can't handle death and sadness and ongoietahiohga
The fact that he's so good at writing tragedies and fourth-wall eliminating stories is what makes me question his feels attacks.
~Sylpheed and Eli
Okay, so now that I've calmed down a bit, I think we can do error check.
I think you left out an a in between the comma and greenish
I think you should have a comma between each group such as Rachet, her sisters, and her brother were- Eh, that may just be another preference thing *shrug*
You left out a tab here, just letting you know.
You have an extra space in betwee from and her, and I don't think big brother should be capitalized, seeming as how it's not an important position.
Same as with father.
~Sylpheed and Eli
And Eli noticed one last one after a last readthrough.
"hugging her dead"...kay, but to my knowledge, no one has died yet...WAIT, SHE'S GONNA DIE, RIGHT? ISN'T SHE!? SHE ISSSSSS (I know what you meant to put here but I felt like making a little joke)
~Sylpheed and Eli
IT'S NOT A HASHTAG IF IT IS NOT ON TWITTER! IT IS A POUND OR NUMBER SIGN!
3316728 HIS NAME IS HASHTAG NO NEED FOR CAPS BUDDY! HIS NAME IS HASHTAG NOT #!