Chimera 4: Dost Thou Love?
Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me. ~Alice Walker
Queen Chrysalis never wanted to die. She never wanted Captain Myzanum to betray her. Why, she never thought he would attack her, break through her magic defenses, and plunge his spear into her chest. She felt pain the likes of which was not exactly what she expected. She watched with morbid fascination Myzanum jerk back on the spear, its head making a sickening squelch. Everything felt oddly numb. The blade had a numbing poison on it. So the pain she felt was dull, almost an out of body experience.
Chrysalis was disappointed, she found. She had expected...more from her impending death. The Captain of her Royal Guard was her murderer, yet he caught her with his magic, cradling her like a lover in the most tender of embraces.
"Because I loved you. But I lost my soul to a demon and I must serve her. I am sorry."
The ungrateful sot had the nerve to touch her in that way! If her body had not been stiffened, if she had not felt her life leaving her body, if she had but one last wish in her thoughts at that moment, it would be to tear than condescending drone of a nag's head off. Chrysalis was beyond enraged, but she could do nothing.
"The queen is defeated."
How dare he not say it to her face! How dare that gelding turn his back on her! How dare...
Dying? Her life was spilling out on the ground and she could do nothing to stop it. So this was what it was like to die. There was a familiar face now, a changeling's. Feidole! Why was he looking at her like that? She forced herself from the slow dark haze overtaking her vision, focusing enough to speak out, "I hereby relinquish the crown to my daughter, Crown Princess Ata-lan-t-t-ta." She fought hard to uphold tradition. "All o-o-of my memories are n-n-now hers!" Her voice sounded so distant and tinny. How strange!
"Feed on me, my queen! My love, my life for the Queen! Let me uphold my oath, I beg you! I failed you once, do not let me fail you again!"
Why did the little idiot have to do that? She reflexively fed off one of her own kind, her instinct to survive kicking into overdrive. He induced her fangs, the taste of his blood on her tongue awakening the predator within. She drank, feeding off his love, its magic staunching the flow of blood. He locked eyes with her, his hooves around her neck as he used every ounce of his strength to the end to stay with her. As the light faded from his eyes, Chrysalis saw happiness in them. There was no regret.
She wept for him and hated herself.
Then there was another changeling looking down at her, yelling, crying. She could not hear him as the dark mist pulled at her. This evening had been so tiring! First there was that failure of a battle with Luna. That worked out rather well, Chrysalis noted sourly as she reflected. Luna promised to look after her son, didn't she? Perhaps she wasn't so bad after all. Chrysalis had seen a hint of ruthlessness behind those eyes belonging to the Princess of the Moon. Then there was Draccaria. Meeting her had been rather anticlimactic. The daughter of Flamespyre simply plucked Ata from her mother's arms with little more than a wink and a blink. Such a cheeky mare - no - dragon. Chrysalis paused in her remuneration, realizing she might not be able to pay back everything in full. She so wanted to sleep! The darkness covered her like a warm blanket and she knew no more.
Drifting now, she had not idea where she was. Everything was weightless, there was no pain. Was she cold? Or was she warm? Interesting, she thought with indifference. Everything felt fuzzy, looked fuzzy, seeming as though there was a thick black gauze over her eyes. It was actually quite pleasant. She didn't have to worry about anything. But something felt missing. Something felt wrong.
"Momma? I'm here."
Silent? The baby she wished she had carried. The baby she wished she could claim to be Atalanta's older brother by sharing the same blood. Chrysalis could have sworn she heard him call out to her. It was as though she could smell him! She searched desperately for Silent, but her body refused to answer. Her eyes refused to open, to focus, to seek. She tried to cry out, but her voice failed her.
Then Luna was there. Standing before the Queen of the Changelings with neither an attempt to be superior nor to defer, but as an equal. Chrysalis found the Alicorn appearing out of nothingness, a shape slowly taking form until it was full and vibrant and beautiful. The two regarded each other for a while, neither mare challenging the other. It was an uneasy neutrality between the two powerful females.
Luna spoke first, though her lips never moved. "Love thee thy son, o Queen?"
Chrysalis knew the answer, wondered what sort of a silly question was being asked of her. But she understood the reason behind the question. It had nothing to do with her being a changeling. Luna was questioning the Changeling Queen's capabilities as a mother. "Why do you care, Daughter of the Dream?"
The Alicorn shifted, tilting her head to one side. Her brilliant cosmic mane enveloped the both of them. Suddenly they were walking the rings of a vast blue planet bearing white and green stripes. Particles of ice crunched soundlessly beneath their hooves. Chrysalis found she could move. She found she was strolling with the princess, two tiny specs in the vastness of forever. It was breathtaking.
"Verily did he task me to look upon thee from within thy dreams." Luna stepped around a rather large chunk of ice floating its way between them.
"Ah, yes. He would." Chrysalis paused to stare at the icy boulder that had just split them. How strange she could move out of its way so easily! It had to have been as large as a mountain. She found herself skipping along, feeling free. Chrysalis laughed like a filly in a field of flowers, her mane bouncing everywhere and her tail fluttering behind her with life. "This is incredible!" she cried, finally understanding the splendor for what it was.
"Dost thou love thy son, Queen Chrysalis?" Luna asked, serious as a goddess on the brink of giving a commandment. "Prithee dark and brooding monarch, why hast thou such merriment in thy step?"
It never occurred to Chrysalis the archaic speech would have irritated her - should have - but she found it almost endearing, if even amusing. "What privilege have you earned for the right to the answer, Alicorn?" she baited, teased with mischief in her eyes. Why was she so giddy? "How can I answer such a profound question when I have this...sensation around me? What is this?"
"Perhaps this is but an epiphany of thine soul. Knowest not I if changelings even had such a precious thing." The Alicorn ventured her thought carefully, unsure herself if this was indeed what she was experiencing from Chrysalis. It was her dream, after all. Then it occurred to her this was how Chrysalis saw her. The stars, the planets, the darkness of space.
The emptiness.
No. This was how the queen saw herself? Or was it how she saw the both of them? There was so much to see here. Chrysalis had discovered so little of herself, Luna reasoned as she drifted her gaze to her surroundings without missing a step. She had expected a forest or a desert from the queen's perspective, but this was completely different.
Unless she was accommodating for her guest.
She shifted her tactics, entranced by seeing this side of Queen Chrysalis. She wanted to probe more, but she was also afraid of going too far and seeing something she should not. "What of thy daughter?"
"Atalanta? Yes. Dear, sweet child. Already by far a better princess than I at her age." Chrysalis paused in her trot, turning to face the Alicorn with wonder. Happy bliss flashed across her dark face, her eyes going alight. "She shall make a fine queen, I think. Perhaps I should simply stand aside and let her do better than what I had dreamed of doing. What say you, Alicorn of the Night?"
Luna stepped sideways, her hooves dancing through the ice with the effort of a hummingbird. She lifted her mane up, then dropped it about her slender frame like falling stars. No, this was not working either. The princess considered another option. This new one pleased her and she offered it as a mental sidestep and another means to have her curiosity sated. "Perchance wouldst thou desire to see into the dreams of Silent Wing?" She cast it out before the queen, hoping.
Chrysalis stopped dancing, frozen upon her icy road. Luna approached with regal authority laced with gentle encouragement. Slowly the long floppy ears turned towards the Alicorn, her eyes round with intrigue, nostrils flared as she sensed the possibilities. With delight and a foal's exuberance, she came before Luna with a wide smile. "I should like that very much!" she cried. "Is such a thing possible?"
"In a dream, all things are possible, o Queen."
The planets and stars and rings disappeared, faded as the Alicorn's mane enshrouded the two of them. Both mares flickered into a landscape Luna had seen one other time. The desolate landscape was there, the pitted ground of craters of all sizes, the shattered mountains. Again, there were those roiling gray clouds, inky and filled with lightning.
"I don't like this place," Chrysalis said first thing when she had a first look. She tossed her head in disgust, stomping a hoof with her long, slender leg pitted with the holes going completely through it. "This is a hideous place, Dreamwrecker." She pouted at Luna. The luster was fading from her eyes at the sight of this gloomy place.
"This is thy son's dream." Luna's reply was simple, to the point. She was using her lips now to speak, sighing for the first time in this dream. "Come, I shall take thee to him if that is thy desire." Expectantly she waited for the dark monarch to make up her mind.
Concern shaded the queen's visage, her lips set in a straight and determined line. "Lead on. I should wish to know why Silent Wing dwells in such a dream."
"A warning to thee," Luna told her with an unmistakable growl, "he will not be able to see thy face nor sense thy presence. There is darkness within. Beware!"
"Lead on," the Queen repeated.
Their hooves squelched through the mud, up and down hills and through blasted out craters. Luna showed the place where a familiar foal cried for his dead mother. Chrysalis saw this and knew this was a memory from before he came to her life. Immediately she was angered at seeing such neglect. She started forward, wanting to scoop up her little morsel and cuddle him, tell him everything would be all right, and smother him with affection.
Luna held her back. "Thou canst not," she said sadly with a shake of her beautiful head.
Chrysalis felt the strength flee from her legs. She sat back on her haunches, mud splattering everywhere. Her shoulders sagged as it began to rain heavily at the snap of a thought. She stretched her neck out towards the little pale foal in the bottom of a crater sitting in a puddle of mud. The Queen stared, her heart aching, wanting to go, feeling needed.
Luna held her with mere words. Words she knew to be a maybe. Dreams were strange places to tread especially when they belonged to somepony else.
Then Flamespyre came, vast and terrible. A nightmare among nightmares and a bastard of a father. Chrysalis rose in anger when she could see him fully, at first wondering what the dark thing in the fog approaching was while at the same time guessing correctly the only thing it could be.
"She's dead, my son. She failed me. All have failed me, save for my chosen." The voice rumbled with unexpected gentleness. "She cannot prevent me from altering you now. All I need from you is there, I simply need to give you something...sturdier to have as a vessel."
Chrysalis charged with a savage growl when the black claw reached for her little morsel. Luna did not bother to stop her. It disappeared as it did before, along with the foal. Chrysalis skidded to a stop, her tail sopping up the mud as she slid on her rump, her expression switching from rage to startled confusion. "What?" Her muzzle darted about wildly as she sought out both her enemy and her son. "Damnation to this accursed dream!" she screamed, spinning on slippery mud towards Luna.
"I did warn thee," Luna reminded her with amusement. "Observe." She lifted a hoof and swept it up the side of the crater to a pale form with a red mane. "Thy son witnesses this every night in his dreams. Follow therin within his wake and listen with thine ears the words giving chase."
The queen perked up at this, her eyes falling upon and focusing on the wet little figure trundling slowly towards a destination unknown to her. She ignored the fact her own coat was sodden with mud and brambles were now in her mane and tail. Rising up slowly, carefully she found the ground would support her if she moved carefully. Forward she plunged, again ignoring the words of the Mistress of Dreams to go to her colt.
Her shock was apparent when at first, he did not seem to see her. She called out to him. Silent did not seem to hear her voice. Finally, she placed herself in his path, asking him what was wrong. The colt passed right through her.
Luna was at her side. "Come, Queen of the Changelings. Perhaps thou wouldst be better served to heed my instructions for the foreseeable future? Let us go anon behind this child."
"Is this every night for him?" Chrysalis asked, trembling, biting her lower lip. Pleading eyes implored up to Luna, helpless in the knowledge there was nothing she could do.
"Nay, gentle mother, this is not." Luna went after Silent Wing, not waiting for the shocked queen once again finding herself sitting in the mud. "I myself seeing myself within his heart." She did not look behind to see if Chrysalis was following. "These dreams unseen by thy child's memory upon awakening unto the day anew."
"You do?" Again she was scrambling to her hooves, giving chase. Mud was flung everywhere, most of it covering her underbelly, legs, and chest. "They're not? Make sense, damn it! And don't call me a 'gentle mother'. It feels...inappropriate."
"Answer mine questions and I shall answer thine," said Luna at the top of the crater, finally looking back at the queen panting her way up to her. She grinned. "Shall I compare thee to a bear sow?"
"Queen Chrysalis, if you please, Princess Proper."
"Thy son shares thy pertness," Luna observed with her first smile. "Dost thou love him?"
Chrysalis gave a pregnant pause as she stared at the Princess of the Moon. "Do you know how complicated that question is? Do you understand how loaded it is?"
"T'is but a simple question."
"Do you love him?" Chrysalis challenged archly and with a snort.
The two mares stared at each other. With a face carved of stone, Luna turned away and continued after the fading colt. "Tarry not, Queen of the Changelings."
Chrysalis grinned as she followed after her. It began to fade when she heard the whispers annoy her ears. The closer she drew to Silent Wing, the louder they became. Her smile was gone when she was opposite Luna from her colt, watching the tears streaming down his face as he endured. Her blood ran cold at the next figure to stop her child.
It was herself. Correction, it was her former self. She was berating the colt, mocking him, making light of his feelings. "If you cannot learn to ignore mere words, then perhaps you ware weaker than I thought. Get out of my sight and do not bother me with such trifles!" Only, those were words she had actually spoken one time, years ago, when he was a small, defenseless little thing. Grief and guilt plunged her heart and a lump formed in her throat. She shattered when Silent Wing reeled from an unseen blow. He reached for the fading form of his mother weakly. The last thing Chrysalis saw were her own eyes glaring with contempt at this little creature who looked up to her with hope and affection. There was small consolation when the regret shone in them before fading into nothing.
The queen shuddered. "Let me go to him," she pleaded in a raw voice. Her eyes could not leave her child. "You're able to do that, aren't you?"
Silent was curling up in a small ball and began to weep, broken at last.
"I cannot," Luna regretted softly.
Chrysalis stared at her in disbelief. "I don't bucking believe you," she said flatly. Stepping gingerly around the colt - her son - she bore down upon the Alicorn with a rage she had not felt since...since...
"Answer mine question," Luna commanded with unruffled calm. "Dost thou love thy son?"
I'm here, brother! Please don't cry! I need you. Please, Silent, don't be sad.
Atalanta had appeared, almost a picture perfect copy of her mother, a tiny little bundle of love and sweetness who practically flung herself at the only colt she had ever believed to be her brother. She embraced him in her little hooves, weeping for him. She started singing to him, a song Chrysalis had sung to both infrequently when they were small. Far too infrequently. A pang of regret tore at her heart.
Everything faded and there was nothing. Chrysalis found herself floating alone in darkness. The queen wanted to cry, but her body, her everything did not want to respond, save her mind. It felt sick now. She felt sick. She was so very overwhelmed with melancholy. Chrysalis fought hard to simply shriek her anger, her rage. She wanted to scream at herself for neglecting him. The queen wanted to destroy hers -
"Thou art wrong to think this way. So very wrong. Thou hast surpassed thyself by learning how to love, by learning what love is. Thou hast given me the answer I already knew, o Queen of the Changelings." Luna's voice was in her ears, her heart, her mind. The sensation of soft feathery wings enfolding the queen in a gentley embrace chased everything away. "Never forget thy bond with thy child as I forgot my bond with mine sister so long ago."
And she was gone.
Chrysalis began to think, trying to sense her world. She struggled to move forward. She fought to be in the present. She warred to be back among the living. It took her forever, every movement was met with severe resistance. It was the poison, she realized. What kind of poison? Bah! It did not matter. Determined to win, there could be no more setbacks. There would be no more failures. There were those who had dared try to destroy Queen Chrysalis, monarch of the Emerald Changeling Kingdom and the most powerful changeling ever to walk the earth. They would pay. They would pay dearly indeed.
Silent Wing was given the dignity of not having to wear his chains this morning. He was allowed to clean himself, preening his feathers and making sure his primary feathers appeared immaculate. His mane and tail were liberally brushed and cleaned, his coat given proper attention (more so than he was inclined to give it). He avoided wearing his uniform as he thought it would sent the wrong message to the audience. Instead, he chose to go sans clothing save for the necklace his sister had given him on his birthday some months ago. Silent Wing intended to look just like a pony without hiding his changeling heritage.
Mentally prepared and focused, he was escorted to the throne room where he would be judged before ponies for crimes against ponies. He would accept the charges, of course. He had done harm to under-trained civilians pretending to be soldiers (his private thoughts as they were simply terrible fighters in his opinion). There had been consideration in using those very words, but he was still debating that as he was escorted to a small podium off to the side of the throne. Still, there was something to be said about the slackened training required for the Reserve Guard.
It was a rather tall looking thing, he thought, three long and deep steps to a throne of gold with red cushions. A carpet led from the main double doors all the way across the room and up those steps to the throne. Princess Celestia was already there, offering him a smile and a good morning even though there must have been at least three hundred ponies crammed into the place. Nervously he reciprocated the salutations. He knew she would be fair, but would her ponies be?
He was grateful he had chosen not to wear the crown of Queen Chrysalis (he had tried it on and wondered how in blazes the silly thing managed to stay on her head). It would have looked ridiculous anyways. Instead, he had it on a cushion to be brought with him so everypony knew he was now regent. It was significant her crown lay on a velvet black cushion to let others know he expected her to resume her throne. How well that would go over remained to be seen. Silent Wing did not know anything about his prosecutor.
Hoof over hoof, this had been going on for what felt like a lifetime. Something drove her through the darkness, pulled at her. Something she was aware of and needed. "We need you."
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy were there, along with their families. Pinkie seemed happy to see him, as she vaulted over the partition separating the ponies from the trail floor and engulfed him in a huge hug. After prying her off with the help of some guards, Silent Wing thanked her and continued red faced to the podium he was directed to. The other members of the Mane Six regarded him generally in what he would assume to be a positive neutral (whatever that was). Rarity and Applejack threw him weak smiles (they were still seeing the raging Pegasus changeling colt with the murderous eyes in their minds). Rainbow Dash had heard from those two what had happened and was staring incredulously, almost accusatory since she wasn't there to see something so brutally cool (she was actually unsure if it was something she would really want to see) and Fluttershy shrank behind one of her friends when she perceived eye contact with him (which was on par for her).
Why were they so friendly towards him, anyway? He pondered this, guessing his interactions with them must have had some sort of endearing effect upon him.. They were wary and he suspected they had been asked to put their best faces on for him for at least the sake of repairing the nearly non-existent relations between ponies and changelings. He wished he could sense their emotions like other changelings could. Ponies seemed to accept his appearance far more than his own people, perhaps his pony wings and mane and tail were reassurances to him. He wasn't sure, but certainly politics at the royal level had at least trickled down to the Mane Six to at least try to appear as friends. Silent Wing had decided to extend the friendliness in kind, if but for the sake of establishing peaceful relations for the long term. With so much going on in the world, the chaos of war approached and tensions were mounting.
From the snippets of what he had heard, the story of the changeling prince fighting his way to his mother's side had touched the ponies more positively than negatively. He had even managed to read several different news articles from several different newspapers where the writer expressed his or her own thoughts. Most of it was heartfelt and understanding, though the violent reaction was considered on a whole as unnecessary, especially against reservists.
Still, it appeared public sympathy stirred in favor of Queen Chrysalis, if even a little. She did, after all was now in a coma, knowledge of the foalnapping of her daughter causing quite a ripple of outrage to add to the already minor legend that was famously (or infamously) known as the 'Hospital Incident'.
Ponies are weird.
Master Tseng Tzu awaited him at his podium, holding out a claw expectantly as he was eager to greet his pupil. "I sense a change in you, my student," he said as the colt's hoof found his claw. "Much more calm. Truth be told, your aura is good today. Still a long way to go, but you are pointed in the right direction."
"One step at a time," Silent said to him.
The blind old teacher smiled and nodded with approval.
He set his mother's crown on a small table next to his podium for all the ponies to see. The whispers and tittering he could make out were not exactly what he had hoped for. In fact, it was completely opposite.
"Is she dead?"
"He's now the king?"
"Do changelings even have kings?"
"Oh, thank Celestia, she's dead!"
"How did she keep that thing on her head, anyways?"
"This calls for a celebration!"
"Dead! Justice at last!"
So much for positive public opinion.
Something barred her way. A phantom? No matter! It tried to reach for her from behind as she passed it, tendrils of darkness trying to pull her back into the abyss behind her. Her mind attacked the thing mercilessly, lashing at the formless thing until it gave way. "There is too much to be done!"
Silent Wing felt himself go flush with anger. He nearly snapped, but felt a claw on his shoulder. Tseng Tzu whispered into his ear, "Suffer not the words of the fools who assume, my student."
"My ponies!" rang out Celestia in her lovely voice. "I am pleased to announce the Regent of the Changeling Kingdom Prince Silent Wing. I would also like to extend my personal hopes for a speedy recovery for Queen Chrysalis. Let us all extend goodwill towards a son who only wishes to see his mother restored to him." Well, having an Alicorn stand up for Chrysalis probably made several jaws drop to the floor. She said that only to remind her ponies in her own way to be nice.
There were a lot of suddenly shame faced ponies in the room. She banged a gavel upon a small table set next to her for the singular purpose for which she used it now.
There was the feeling of exertion, exhaustion, but there was no sweat. The thing reformed, taking a more definitive shape. "Where do you think you are going, Chrysalis?"
Familiar voice. Evil. Mocking her. Chrysalis snarled, paused, annoyed at this intrusion. Flamespyre. She became afraid, coming to a stop.
"We are gathered here to pass judgement over Regent Silent Wing of the Changeling Kingdom for assaults upon no more than eight ponies. All the accusers have been gathered here today against the accused. With the accusers please stand?" Celestia regarded her left side of the room. Eight ponies strode forward a step, turning their heads with varying expressions at the regent.
"Will the accused please stand?" she called, turning to her right where a single pale vision of sunrise through thick fog greeted her.
She grit her teeth. flaring her fangs, ears laid back as she hissed at the shade of the red-eyed dragon. "You have no power over me, you one-eyed deathmonger."
Flamespyre grew closer, more ominous. "Then stop me, bug."
Chrysalis shrieked, charged, her magic swelling up within her and crackling to life in the tip of her horn.
The other voice called to her, repeating, "We need you."
"How do you plead, Silent Wing?"
The young changeling paused, casting a soft look for each of those he harmed. He sighed, breathing in deeply before returning his attention to one of the powers of Equestria.
"Guilty," he announced firmly. "The responsibility is mine."
The throne room became abuzz with voices ranging from shouts of outrage to disbelief. Few had expected honesty from a changeling. Weren't they nothing but deceivers? Wasn't this one seemingly stuck in mid transformation? Maybe the dragon's strange attack a week ago had permanently put him in that odd condition? Was he even a changeling? Silent Wing could imagine their thoughts as he consciously stole a glance down at his forelegs, noting again the stark contrast between the right and left.
Celestia nodded and turned her head down the end of the hall where a figure was entering quietly. "What does the prosecution propose as punishment?" she asked politely.
Luna's voice called out, "Banishment from Equestria for eternity until which time the royal sisters agree the accused has served his punishment in a manner satisfactory to the both of us. So it was written long ago. However, due to the circumstances involved and the reasons under which the accused acted, Equestria is willing to extend an understanding hoof." She approached with grace, her mane appearing normal and not flaring up with magic with stars dancing within them. Her face was stern, her steps mincing and exaggerated as she lifted her knees and elbows high in the air, her flank turning slightly to one side. The Alicorn's chin was down, touching her throat.
They fought, circling each other, slashing and tearing, hurling magic. Chrysalis did not know how she did it, but Flamespyre fell away suddenly, screaming.
"He needs you. She needs you. They need you. All will fail without you."
Tseng Tzu was motionless, saying nothing, never making a movement. He was smiling behind Silent Wing. A slight nod of his head for each of the Alicorns was the only sign of life he offered. Then, he began stroking his long, thin white feathered beard. "Almost."
Silent turned to regard him with an odd look. He was petted on the head.
"Pay attention, student. What goes on before you is far more important than what happens behind."
The colt was shocked to see Luna appear and even more devastated when she declared his sentence she preferred. Why did she kiss him if she was going to send him away? He was so confused! What eye she cast at him was cool, detached. He almost shrank from her, but no, he could not. A promise had been made to his mother he would not look weak in front of the ponies. Then, he saw the twinkle in her eye as she regarded him, almost betraying a wink. It was as though she had reserved it for him and him alone while she played to her audience. Silent Wing blinked in shock, not exactly sure if he should be outraged at her play or amused or humbled or....
Either way, she cut a lovely figure in his eyes as she turned away to regard her sister with royal flare.
It was not over yet. Flamespyre came again at her. But it was not the dragon. It was something else. Twilight Sparkle stood before her, the old one, the Unicorn who had thwarted the Queen's efforts so long ago.
"You're evil!" she taunted. More appeared next to her, above her, below her, around her, around Chrysalis. "You're evil!" they echoed, some in multiple voices, others in sing-song voices. Others simply screamed it at her, then there were the ones who whispered that dreadful word in her ear from seemingly nowhere.
Evil.
Irredeemable.
A relic of failure.
Evil!
"No!" She screamed again, struggled, filling herself with her magic again, flashing out a bubbled, like the one that had hurled her from certain victory. "No!"
They refused to go away, laughing at her and repeating that horrible, spiteful word. Over and over again. Chrysalis curled up into a ball and whimpered.
"Does the defendant wish to address his accusers before we speak of the events to which he did do harm to them?" Celestia turned her beautiful and majestic attention upon the brave colt, her tri-colored mane flowing with her power like a sunrise.
Silent Wing turned, faced the ponies and stepped down from his platform. Halfway between where he had been and where they were, he stopped and went to his knees as he would before his queen when presenting himself formally. He bent his forehead to the carpet.
Raising his head, there were tears in his eyes, openly shameful."I apologize. I ask you all humbly for your forgiveness. I do not think I deserve it, but I only wanted to be with my mother. Please forgive me!" His lower lip quivered as tears welled up in his eyes. He was indeed regretful of his actions. Still, he held his composure, his head held high and proud, a bastion of changeling strength. Silent Wing was Regent, after all.
Let the matriarchs have their kittens over that! Idly he wondered if it would really matter, or if anypony back home even knew he had assumed the throne until his mother recovered...if she recovered. If it were found out, the howling would shortly be followed by a coup d'état, to be sure. The very idea of a male changeling on the throne - even a pure-blooded royal - was tantamount to heresy in the eyes of a female-dominated society.
The room held its collective breath. Ponies loved dramatic effects.
The voices bombarded her, tore at her heart. She was breaking, beginning to fall back down into that darkness she had labored so hard to pull herself from.
"Do mere words faze the Queen of the Changelings?" a voice asked her in wonder? "I had always thought you to be a pillar of strength."
"A lie," she whispered. "I have always been afraid."
"Of what?" came the question, curious.
"Failing. I have failed my changelings. I have failed my children. My daughter is taken, my son is better off with the ponies. I was horrible to him. I can see that now."
"Are you sure? Did you let Luna show you the rest of his dream?"
Her head came up. "There was more?"
Something gentle took her hoof. "Come with me. Let me show you what your son truly thinks of you."
She withdrew, afraid of the possibilities. "No!"
"He loves you unconditionally. I will prove it to you. I will show you what Luna tried to lead you to see."
She followed the unseen speaker, knowing the voice but unable to place it. The Twilights all faded away, their voices gone now. Some stayed, staring at her suspiciously, grinning, waiting for her to fail again. And again. And again.
"Go away," she snapped at them, fighting her doubt, trying to trust.
Silent Wing waited for the words of her accused to decide his fate. He had admitted his guilt. His accusers held his fate in their hooves. The sentence had already been pronounced. They simply had to vote yay or nay with Luna being the tiebreaker. Yes to punish. No to forgive. Yes for vengeance. No for acceptance. Simple.
"No."
"No."
"No."
"No."
"No."
"No."
"No."
"Mrmph!"
He had closed his eyes, not wanting to see the faces as they answered, nor whom had spoken what. It was almost a clean sweep. Except for Flash Sentry. It was assumed he said something, but it was pretty much moot. The placard now hanging between his lips read in big red letters:
Yes! He broke my jaw!
The Prince of the Changelings turned to Luna, his face unreadable as he emptied his mind of all emotion, all thoughts, unable to control his fate. He would master himself. This would be but another test, whatever the outcome. Silent would accept it.
"No." Her voice rang like a trumpet of victory. The kangaroo court was finished and she was smiling.
The words felt good, though he still felt bad for having assaulted those ponies. He secretly had enjoyed cutting loose like that. It had felt disturbingly natural. Silent Wing shuddered to himself. Besides, Luna's actions still confused him. She had never said she would speak against him nor in favor of the prosecution. It hurt him, mostly because he did not understand fully what she was trying to get at. Behind him, the voices and murmurs and tittering of ponies vibrated in his ears like the quiet din of buzzing wings.
Judging from the expression on her own face, Luna seemed...predatory? Celestia's eyes had gone wide, then narrowed for a brief moment, settling upon her sister before assuming something bordering irritation and anger. "Silent Wing, Regent of the Changeling Kingdom, your judgement has been passed. You can leave this court a free pony. I release you from custody." She shifted her magenta eyes to Luna and apparently made a silent suggestion to her younger sister.
The cheers outshone the boos, but it was still fairly close in the prince's estimation as he turned around to smile weakly at his master. Applejack invited him over with a waving hoof, trying to smile and be as welcoming and supportive as her limited knowledge of Silent Wing allowed her. She liked him, but he was far from earning her trust, just as with the others. Mother had emphasized befriending them and he went towards them to push his role as an ambassador of goodwill. He found he rather liked their openness, compared to the reserved guarded stance inherent in changelings.
Apparently she could read the prince's facial emotions quite plainly and noted the momentary swirl of confusion clouding Luna's own visage as apparent. Silent was completely baffled and hurt in the aftermath. Somehow, a mess had happened in the exchange. Perhaps some lack of communication? She figured to get to the bottom of that quickly at put a stop to it.
Luna stared at her sister, nodding mutely. She trotted up and over to Celestia, smiling at Silent Wing as if she had a secret to tell him. Both disappeared in the magic of a teleportation spell before the smaller Alicorn had stopped at the top of the throne.
Silent wondered if this was how a mouse felt when a cat stalked it.
She found herself alone upon a familiar desolation. Chrysalis went forward towards a lake. There was a large living tree there, strong in a landscape of a shattered world. Trotting faster, she caught three forms in the shade of the tree.
"This is how he sees you, Chrysalis. Look for yourself."
She could see herself lying on her belly, rolled partially on her side with her son curled up against her, sleeping. Atalanta was stretched out over the two of them, napping contentedly. Chrysalis saw the happiness on her own face, the peaceful security she could feel from her children.
"This is his sanctuary against nightmares," she realized out loud, moving faster until her wings lifted her and half carried her towards the family. Without thinking, she jumped towards her form and into it, assuming the position as that form. When she did, she felt a warmth in her heart she had not felt but two other times in her life; the first time she had laid eyes upon Silent Wing and the first time she held Atalanta. She understood at that moment, everything about her children.
"I love you both," she whispered. "With all of my being."
Frakas heard her stirring and peeked. He had been doing his duty diligently, speaking to his queen, not sure if she was hearing anything. It had been just yesterday he had been assigned this duty. Upon the bed he rested his gaze upon was a monarch observing her surroundings with curious detachment. Her harlequin eyes found him and settled upon his little black form.
"I'm starving," were the first words from her mouth.
They were the most wonderful words Frakas had ever heard in his life.
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Excellent chapter, love how it captures how Chrysalis feels about her son, and how loyal the changlings are to her.
So many feels.
Powerful chapter, Chryssie's battle in the center of her mind was really well done and emotional.
Cya
Raziel-chan