Scootaloo could still see nothing... yet she could feel something... wait.. was she riding on somepony's back?
During Scootaloo's Pass Out
"STOP!" A mare's voice called out from behind the stallion.
"And what are you gonna do missy?" the stallion asked, as he turned around holding a knife to Scootaloo's neck, facing the one formerly known as The Great and Powerful Trixie.
"This" Trixie simply said, before yanking the knife out of his hoof with her magic before he could react and throwing it away.
"Guess I'll have to hurt somepony else it would seem..." the stallion said, growling.
"Bring it on Scarface." Trixie replied.
"..... Screw you!" the stallion yelled, charging at Trixie, swinging a left hook at her.
Trixie dodged the punch and sweeped him off his feet and with a single punch to the jaw, knocked him cold, and for good measure, hit him once again before giving an old style quote.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie cannot stand worthless trash like yourself. She hates when ponies do things like this because it is absolutely sickening. Like you. If Trixie EVER sees you again, she can assure you... it will not end nearly as well for you." Trixie told the stallion, before picking Scootaloo up and putting the passed out filly on her back.
Back to Present
Scootaloo began to wake up... she could see she was on somepony blue... Rainbow Dash? No... just a slight shade too dark... Scootaloo looked up to get a better look, and saw a white mane
"Who are you...?" Scootaloo asked weakly.
"Trixie Lulamoon. Your lucky I showed up, otherwise you might not have been here anymore." Trixie replied.
"Yeah... I know, somepony was going to kill me...." Scootaloo weakly said back.
"Not just anypony, a hardened criminal. One who's known for killing young fillies and colts." Trixie said with a serious tone.
"O-Oh..." Scootaloo nervously replied.
Trixie took Scootaloo back to a small trailer that she still owned from her 'Glory Days' as some would call it, opening the door and taking the young injured filly inside before laying her down on a warm bed.
"T-thank y-you... T-Trixie..." Scootaloo said, appreciatively.
"You are more than welcome." Trixie replied.
"I-I'm Scootaloo." Scootaloo said.
"That's a nice name." Trixie said, before asking a question. "What is somepony like you wandering the streets at night like this alone?"
"Homeless...." Scootaloo simply replied.
"Oh... I am sorry for that." Trixie said back.
"It's fine... nopony will find use for me... I'm just a pegasus who can't fly..." Scootaloo said, tearing up.
"Listen..." Trixie said as she looked Scootaloo in the eyes. "You aren't useless because you can't fly. Just like Magic isn't everything to a Unicorn, Flying isn't everything to a Pegasus, even if they believe so. There are so many other opportunities out there that can help you shine bright like a star that doesn't involve your wings. Trust me, I'd know something similar, as I once was really just an almost talentless unicorn who lied her way into making ponies think she was something great." Trixie finished.
"Great and Powerful...?" Scootaloo questioned.
"That is correct young one. I indeed was the one known as The Great and Powerful Trixie. But I have since moved on to better things in life." Trixie answered.
"O-Oh... I'm glad... ponies always said you were bad." Scootaloo said.
"At one point, they were correct. I have changed however, and would like to offer you a chance to live with me." Trixie replied.
"R-R-R-R-Really...?" Scootaloo asked, with complete hope.
"Yes, I mean it. You can live with me." Trixie replied.
"T-Thank you!" Scootaloo said, excited before she hugged Trixie with all the strength she could at the time.
"Your welcome..." Trixie replied, hugging the filly back softly, as to avoid hurting her.
Scootaloo cried joyously as Trixie held her, happy to finally have a home, after being homeless all her life.
"I will clean you up in the morning, but for now, you need to rest Scootaloo." Trixie said.
"O-Ok..." Scootaloo replied, laying down and closing her eyes.
Scootaloo was shocked when she felt something warm against her in the next few seconds, and she opened her eyes slightly to see Trixie curled around her protectively, also providing the filly with warmth. The only word Scootaloo could muster out was...
"Mommy...." Scootaloo said silently, before falling off into the world of sleep.
Right. It's good but there are a few things to watch out for.
1. A lot of spaces makes it a little hard to read at times. If there is a line that says, "She says" or "She said" combine that line and the dialoge.
2. You have a habit of repeating yourself like this-
3. I find the scootabuse hard to believe. Because in a small town like that I imagine most ponies would notice it. Though upon re-reading it seems that she was moved away from Ponyville. But you never explicitly say that so I made the assumption that it was an orphanage in ponyville.
4. I find it really hard to believe that she wouldn't recognize Trixie. Because unless this is ignoring the Alicorn Amulet incident, I doubt anyone that was in Ponyville could ever forget what she looked like.
5. You seem to have made it farther into the future but have made very little indication as to just HOW far into the future it is.
6. You seem to be a bit heavy on the "Sad". Give a little break in the sad (such as the recent chapter) Because otherwise it gets tedious.
Other than that, I'll keep an eye on it. Keep it up.
4526779 Yeah that will be planned out in a future chapter.
It's something I had planned, but didn't mention.
It will be a series called Flashback. Such as Flashback: Part 1, Part 2.
And it will have events that lead up to how she got to ponyville and managed to stay there and such.
D'awww! I'm liking how this is playing out now that you have best filly with Trixie.
Ah! The end to this chapter was really cute. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. I'm excited to see where you take this.
4528637 Funny thing is Scootaloo and Trixie are two of my top 5 favorite ponies.
4540823
They're part of my top 5 as well. Although I have several ponies tied for number one.
Wait this fic is not dead?
yyyyeeeesss!
Wrong you're