A hyena's tail in Equestria

by Glacia

Breakfast isn't always a given

“Are you sure this is such a good idea? I mean what if those lions catch us hunting on their lands?” Banzai asked slightly concerned, as he, Shenzi and Ed stalked the nearby herd of Zebras.

“Well we don’t have much choice, now do we? I can’t help every meal lives in the pride lands. Besides, shut your mouth, bark breath. We don’t want our breakfast to know we’re coming for it.” Shenzi whispered with a hint of annoyance in her voice, why was she always surrounded by idiots?

At least she would get a decent breakfast today, yesterdays hadn’t been exactly close to decent. Heck, it had even been worse than their normal breakfast and that said something.

“All I'm saying is that I'd rather not have my ass kicked by those lions again! Last time I couldn’t sit right for weeks.” Banzai complained, this time a little quieter. Shenzi had been right after all, he had been a little too loud, even though he would never admit it to her.

“Now, this is the plan. You see that one on the far left? I think its lame given by the fact how it walks. I think we make a chance if we go for that one.” Shenzi whispered, even they couldn’t screw this one up, right? Even if they did, how could a limp zebra out run them? There was just no way this could go wrong!

“Now on my ma-Which one was it again?” Banzai asked as he interrupted Shenzi. All those nearly identical striped zebras… They made it quite hard to keep track of a particular zebra.

“I just told you! That one.” Shenzi whispered as she gestured to one of the many zebras, her voice filled with annoyance.

“That one?” Banzai asked, pointing at another zebra. Why did all these damned creatures look identical?!

“No, that one.” Shenzi said, pointing at a different zebra than before. “Wait… No it was that one.”

“Are you sure, because that one did look a little lame to me.” Banzai said as he pointed at once more a completely different zebra.

“Ed?” Shenzi asked, maybe he would still remember which zebra was the lame one?

Ed just laughed somewhat creepily before pointing at once again a completely different zebra.

“Are you sure, I could swea-Oke that’s it, I have a better idea.” Banzai said as he interrupted Shenzi, why did she always have to make thing so dang complicated anyway?

“Did you hear that, Ed? Bark breath here has an idea. Seems like there really is a first time for everything.” Shenzi said as she and Ed began to laugh in true hyena fashion. Making fun of Banzai was always so much fun.

"Yeah yeah, just follow my lead." Banzai shot back. Taking a deep breath he shouted at the top of his lungs, "CHARGE!" Running as fast as he could towards the grazing zebras, he was going to catch something and he just knew it.

Shenzi and Ed gave each other a quick glance before joining Banzai in his charge. Shenzi mentally sighed as she and Ed ran towards the zebras. She had been wrong, even they managed to screw this one up.

The grazing zebras looked up at the sound of the screaming hyena heading for them before running away, trying to flee from their pursuers. The lame zebra was now easily identifiable due to its limping, much to the delight of the three hyenas.

"I got it! I got it! Haha!" Banzai exclaimed excitedly as he came closer to the limping zebra. The poor thing was panicking as it fell farther and farther behind the main herd, hopelessly struggling to keep up.

" Just catch the thing, you idiot!" Shenzi shouted. Banzai couldn't possibly screw up an easy kill like this, could he?

As if the fates themselves had been tempted, a conveniently placed rock stood in the path of the tunnel-visioned hyena. Being too distracted with his quarry, he tripped on it, causing the other two to yelp as they crashed right into Banzai.

"Now look at what you've done, Bark Breath!" Shenzi berated her companion. "Thanks to you, he got away! Meaning no breakfast for us. Even worse, no breakfast for me!" They watched as the lame zebra managed to 'gallop' away, if it could even be considered galloping.

Ed then started to laugh nervously, trying to get the other two hyenas their attention. “Not now Ed!” Banzai said as he ignored the concerned laughs his fellow hyena had started to make. “I mean, how is this my fault? You lost that lame zebra of yours out of sight! This was your plan!”

“My plan? I thought charging in like a complete idiot was your idea! Not now Ed!” Shenzi said as she waved the hyena off who was still desperately trying to get their attention. “So yes, this is al-Okay what is it Ed?” Shenzi was starting to get annoyed. This was the third time he tried to interrupt them. What could possibly be more important than yelling at Banzai?
The hyena just kept laughing whilst gesturing towards something behind the other two hyenas. Although rather than its usual excited and joyful tone the laughing now had a rather concerned or perhaps even fearful one.

“I think I know what’s wrong….” Banzai slowly said.

“What?” Shenzi asked, cocking an eyebrow as she looked at Banzai in wonder. “The angry looking group of lions over there.” Banzai said as he gestured towards the group of lionesses slowly approaching them. “Oh…. Any ideas Banzai, Ed?” Shenzi asked as the group of lionesses came closer and closer.

“How about we just run?” Banzai suggested as the three hyenas slowly began to back off from the steadily advancing lionesses.

“You know Banzai, for once I think you might be right.” Shenzi said as the three hyenas started to move faster and faster backwards.

After a few more paces, the three hyenas turned in unison and ran as fast as they could. Who knew what those lions would do to them after all? The first few times had just been warnings but lately those warnings had been getting more and more violent.

The lionesses roared once before starting their pursuit, they had enough of those three hyenas. Even after being kicked out of the pride lands for several times, they still returned every single time again. Today it would end though, be it by their death if necessary.

“So what do we do now?” Banzai said whilst glancing back at their pursuers . “I mean we can’t keep this up forever!”

Shenzi thought for a moment before replying. “Just keep an eye out for something where we can hide or lose those lions.” Even she knew how dire the situation was looking for them though. The lions knew every piece of terrain around here while they might as well could’ve been blindfolded. Heck, even if they would have known the terrain better, there was nowhere to hide! As far as Shenzi could see, everything was flat as could be!

The lionesses kept pursuing the hyenas, or rather guiding them into the right direction. Soon they would reach the Farasi desert, if they would chase those hyenas far enough off they would surely never find their way back to the pride lands, right? And if they did… well… This would be their last non-lethal attempt to remove the three from the pride lands once and for all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A couple minutes later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hadn’t taken the two parties too long to reach the desert. Although both the lions and hyenas were noticeably slower than before, the pursuit was still just as furious as before.

“They’re still after us?” Banzai panted as the three hyenas ran through the desert, why where those lions still chasing them? Normally it would just be a quick shoe off but this time it appeared as if those oversized cats meant serious business.
Shenzi quickly glanced behind.

“Yes they are, so keep running bark breath.” She said through her panting, why did that idiot always have to ask even the most obvious things?

“Maybe we should just stand and fight, Shenzi. I don’t think I can keep this up for much longer.” Banzai said. Breathing was getting harder and his muscles started feel like they were burning, why on earth did he even agree to go out hunting on the pride lands anyways? He knew this had been a bad idea.

“If you want to stand and fight, you’re more than welcome to. But me and Ed here will keep running if you don’t mind. Ain’t that right, Ed?” Shenzi asked as she looked at the crazed hyena next to her who replied with a nod whilst laughing maniacally. What was that idiot thinking? Three of them against eight of them? At least Ed had an excuse for acting like a complete fool.

“Hey, look! They stopped chasing us!” Banzai said enthusiastically, interrupting Shenzi’s stream of thought.

Shenzi looked back as the trio stopped running. Banzai had been right! Much to her delight, those lions actually stopped chasing them! “Yeah! You ain’t messing around with us!” Banzai shouted as the lions turned around and ran, leaving the three hyenas all alone in the huge sandbox.

“Be glad they stopped chasing us Banzai. Even you should be able to figure out we didn’t stand a chance in a fight. Now stop your taunting and let’s get back home…. Any of you still remember which way home is?...” Shenzi said as she looked around for any hints that would lead them to their home, the elephant graveyard.

“Looks like smart girl here can’t even think of just following our footprints back to.. the.. pride…” Banzai said, his last words slowly coming out of his mouth as he noticed there weren’t any footprints to follow back home. “What… But…”

Shenzi just rolled her eyes in annoyance, why couldn’t she just find a pair of handsome hyenas with actual brains to travel with rather than these two lackeys? Well… Ed could stay, he knew how to appreciate a good laugh. “Lift your paw bark breath and see what happens.”

Doing so as Shenzi told him to, Banzai’s expression quickly changed from one of confusion to one of fear. The wind made the sand shift, covering his footprint. They were stuck in the desert without a single clue of directions. “Uhm… I know! We can just go that way, that’s where we came from, so that’s where the pride lands will be.” Banzai said, proud he had beaten nature and more importantly, Shenzi.

“That would work.” Shenzi said as she sat down on her haunches. “If you hadn’t decided zigzagging would help us lose the lions.” She added, the zigzagging had done nothing for them other than destroying their only chance of finding their way back home. “Now, let’s get moving, maybe with a bit of luck we’ll find the Pride lands and if not… Well, you’ll be the first we’ll eat, isn’t that right, Ed?” Shenzi said as she began to laugh, her not so sane companion soon joining in with laughs of his own. Banzai couldn’t find the joke very amusing, but hey, how could he when it was about him being eaten?

After a few more seconds of laughter, the three hyenas started their journey back to the pridelands, or so they hoped so, heck for all they knew they could be walking in the complete opposite direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Few Hours Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After hours of walking and still not finding the Pride lands, the morale of the three hyenas had dropped quite a bit, even the jokes of eating Banzai couldn’t cheer them up anymore. The fact they they were thirsty and hungry like hell didn’t help either.

“Hey Shenzi…. I’m quite thirsty…” Banzai said, eyeing the female Hyena next to him. “So what? We’re all are.” Shenzi replied in annoyance. “Well… Could I maybe… Have some? Only a little bit.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Shenzi asked in confusion.

“Don’t lie to us, now stop hogging it and give us some! Me and Ed here are aching for something to drink.” Banzai replied in anger, why wouldn’t she just share some?

“What are you talking about?!” Shenzi asked, she was getting angry at that idiot.

“We just want some milk! We know you have some in your body, now let us just… have a quick sip.” Banzai said as he tried to get under the female hyena next to him.

“Get away from me, you perverted moron!” Shenzi said as she gave Banzai a good scratch in his muzzle, making the hyena yelp in pain.

“Hey, what gives?” Banzai asked, rubbing his slightly bleeding muzzle.

“You trying to suck my private parts, god, what is wrong with you?!” Shenzi said, anger in her voice, how could that idiot even think she gave milk? “Why would your idiotic brain even think I would give milk?”

“I don’t know… I see other females feed their pups all the time, so why don’t you give us a quick sip right now?”

Shenzi didn’t think she had ever heard something more stupid coming out of that bark breath’s mouth, even Ed’s constant smile had vanished for more of a "Did that just really happen?" look. Something that Shenzi had never seen him do.

“Do I lack anything those hyenas do have?” Shenzi asked, whilst she had the urge to kick his flanks all the way back to the elephant graveyard, wherever that was, she had a feeling it wouldn’t help them too much.

“Good looks?” Banzai said before bursting out in laughter, his crazed companion soon joining in, although the two both quickly stopped again as soon as they heard Shenzi’s with hate filled growl.

“Pups, now I suggest we seek shelter in that cave for tonight.” Shenzi said as she gestured towards a distant cave in a nearby mountain, it was getting dark and whilst she would love to destroy both hyenas for that remark, she knew fighting would get them nowhere in this desert.

Both hyenas agreed with what Shenzi “suggested”, they knew you didn’t want to disagree with a pissed woman, especially not if that pissed woman was Shenzi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Not Much Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The three tired, thirsty and highly annoyed hyenas slowly stumbled into the cave. None of them thought they had ever been more exhausted than today, being chased by lions and walking through a desert in the burning sun for hours was no cub’s play after all.

All those things didn’t withhold them from gasping once they noticed the cave’s interior though. Two massive statues made out of stone resembling some kind of Gazelles with bird wings, although they only had one horn and it was straight rather than curved though. The hyenas couldn’t really place it what it was supposed to be.

Neither could they place the wall the two gazelle like beasts were “guarding”, that looked like as if was made out of water, although none of the hyenas could see where the water was supposed to come from. What they did see however was a lake in a dense forest.

“Water! I see water!” Banzai enthusiastically said, finally he would feel the delicious moisture on his tongue again after all these hours! Running towards the water like wall, he was stopped by Shenzi.

“Bark Breath, don’t you think that this is a little too weird? I don’t think it would be smart to go running through walls made out of water because we’re thirsty.”

“Smart enough for me, Ed?” Banzai asked. Ed replied with a nod, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, much like a dog. Ignoring Shenzi’s warning, both hyenas ran straight through the apparently non solid wall, leaving the female hyena all alone in the temple like cave.

“If I didn’t care so much for these two idiots…” Shenzi said to no one in particular, sighing as she rolled her eyes before going through the wall too, she had a pair of idiots to babysit after all, right?

Comments

[Tyrant Molestia]

I like it, and a comment just for you, Chryssie.

[sindragon]

A 2nd lion king fic

[Omega Infinita]

I think this might be an interesting story after all...

[idontevengohereanymoreso]

Good. Very, very good. Very, very, very, very, very, VERY good. More. Lots more.

[Cerulean Voice]

....This has phenomenal amounts of potential. It's well structured; I picked up no immediate grammar/spelling errors with my nazism; You've matched the hyenas pretty well to their movie personas (I actually read this in each of their voices) and you've left me craving the next chapter.

If the story keeps going how it is, and continues to be well-written, I'd like to feature it in a blog post of mine.
That is, if you're interested

[sc4rl3t]

I like how this is going, keep it up

[JackieFreak]

A cross-over? Sorry, I'm still trying to get over this one

Not bad, I like it so far

I have no idea why but somehow when they cuss something keeps telling me that they ain't in character, just for cussing but this is your fic so do what you want

Also, can't wait for the next chapter *squee*

[Glacia]

3180328 I suppose you're right, I'll see what I can do about it in the next chapter ^^. As for the next chapter, I'm planning on releasing it this saturday.

[JackieFreak]

3181076
Awesome, I'll look forward to it