Hm....the style is good, and the story seems like it can be good but I kinda feel like the ending of the into was a bit...misplaced? At the moment it sounds more like one of those sample inserts in the backs of some books to whet the appetite but what is also shorter than the introduction. Like I said though, it was a good read, just too quick and too little substance to leave us with.
3043488 sounds cool. Also, just let me know If you need help. I may not catch that many errors but I think I can look it over and catch a good number of things.
Just send it as a message on here and I could look it over and try to point out/correct things. Though I don't know if I'd get to the 5 a.m. one in time because I won't wave internet til late in the day tomorrow most likely.
Well for a first story its good, the beginnings are always a bit hard to write with oc's(I should know my first story just came out) it looked good in spelling and grammar. The style is fine, I think not my own but still I have see it used before. So good job
You deserve this favorite. Welcome to the herd brony!
3033794
Don't know what a Brony is... but thanks!
3034967 A brony (or pegasister if you're female) is an adult or teen who likes the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
3035262
Oh ok, im a pegasister then. Thats cool, next chapter should be up soon.
Hm....the style is good, and the story seems like it can be good but I kinda feel like the ending of the into was a bit...misplaced? At the moment it sounds more like one of those sample inserts in the backs of some books to whet the appetite but what is also shorter than the introduction. Like I said though, it was a good read, just too quick and too little substance to leave us with.
3043030
Ill work on it, thanks for the feedback!
3043463 No problem, I'm happy to help. Can't wait to read more
3043473
I should have the next chappy up by 5am?? Sometime in the morning...
3043488 sounds cool. Also, just let me know If you need help. I may not catch that many errors but I think I can look it over and catch a good number of things.
3043504
Thanks! I just don't know how I would send it to you and stuff... im pretty new to writing fanfictions.
Just send it as a message on here and I could look it over and try to point out/correct things. Though I don't know if I'd get to the 5 a.m. one in time because I won't wave internet til late in the day tomorrow most likely.
3043543
We 'll work something out! I wanna get to know you better, you are my first associate on this site.
3043588 sounds good to me. Either shoot me a message or ask away right here
Well for a first story its good, the beginnings are always a bit hard to write with oc's(I should know my first story just came out) it looked good in spelling and grammar. The style is fine, I think not my own but still I have see it used before. So good job