The Legend of the Phantasm Kirin

by ObeliskTheOwl

Prologue

“Fire….everything is ablaze.” The sound of hooves beating against the charred dirt rang through the fiery land. Embers trailed into the heavy smoke as the only intact being kept galloping. She was dark blue with a lunar mark on her flank. She adorned a horn and wings. Her mane flowed and resembled the beautiful night sky. She was Princess Luna, a ruler of Equestria

Luna couldn’t understand how this could’ve happened. Just moments ago, she had traversed the dream plane and entered various pony’s thoughts, then BOOM. Every dream was the same; Equestria, destroyed and arid, save the fire that still hungrily scoured the land. She realized that this was a nightmare, but it felt so real. She continued her trek until she reached Canterlot, or what was left of her kingdom. Dashing into the blazing ruins of the castle, she spotted one of her bat-winged guards on the dirt, blood flowing from his side.

“What transpired here? Where is my sister?” Luna asked the dying guard, who shook his head slowly.

“Your Highness, Celestia is dead. She was assassinated before the castle was set on fire.” Luna backed away slowly. Her sister was dead? Who would commit such an act? So many questions, but the guard wasn’t done.

“As for what happened, how can you not remember? You killed your sister, Luna. With her death, the sun was no longer maintained, allowing a wave of geothermal energy to engulf everything, and everypony, in flames,” the guard said before finally giving in to the loss of blood. Luna backed away even more; horror consuming her. She had done what?

“Luna, pull yourself together. Remember, this is nothing more than a nightmare, a realistic one. Maybe this could be considered...a...phantasm…” Suddenly, the landscape vanished. For a moment, everything was white. Then darkness covered her. She couldn’t see anything, until she heard a voice.

“I hope you've had a good night’s rest, Luna. Because this is just the beginning,” the voice rang out; dark and filled with pure evil. Luna knew that voice all too well. She hoped it wasn't what it was, but her fears were confirmed with the sight of two, glowing, crimson eyes. It had happened. It had returned. Luna began to fade out as she woke up, hearing a voice saying,

“Wake up, inhabitants of Equestria. I want to play.”

Luna sat up swiftly, shaking her bed a bit. She was sweating and trembling. She had to tell her sister. With that thought driving her, Luna got out of bed and burst through her doors. She galloped down the hallway until she reached her sister’s room. Luna knew Celestia was a deep sleeper, so she decided to wake her up by bucking her doors down. The sudden noise awoke Celestia, who sat up and turned to face her sister.

“Luna, what’s troubling you?” concern was in Celestia’s voice. Luna trembled.

“Sister, we must act hastily. The greatest evil has befallen Equestria once more. It has returned. The Phantasm Kirin has returned…”

Author's Note:

Prologue Summary: Luna gets involved with a nightmare, resulting in the discovery that an ancient evil has returned.

Edit: 8/9/13 http://www.fimfiction.net/user/WyvernQueen edited a few sentences.

Comments

[WyvernQueen]

I like the idea, I really do (did you get Kirin from Monster Hunter? If so, this just became 20% cooler)! You have one or two grammatical errors, and I see a couple sentences that could use revising, but other than that this prologue is very well-written. Like this:

The sound of hooves constantly hitting the barren dirt rang through the burning area.

Maybe you'd want to change it to something like this:

The sound of hooves beating against the charred dirt rang through the fiery land.

Just a thought. And maybe a sentence like this:

Every dream was the same. Equestria was destroyed.

You might want to consider this:

Every dream was the same; Equestria, destroyed and arid, save the fire that still hungrily scoured the land.

I'm looking forward to the next chapters!