Chapter One: A Royal Kidnapping
10 years after the Royal Wedding of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor and the attack against Equestria; they finally settled down in a place called the Crystal Empire.
During the time that Shining Armor ruled alongside his wife, he had proved himself worthy of being a Prince, so he was given immortality. At this time, both Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, and Princess Cadence had children. Chrysalis gave birth to an alicorn prince named Metamorphosis, and while the Princess Cadence also gave birth to a young unicorn princess named, Liberty Heartshine Sparkle.
Metamorphosis’ coat was a pure black mane and tail with a hint of cyan and green just like his mother. Although, much like his father, Transformer-who was a normal alicorn, he didn't have any holes in his legs and his eyes were of a deep blue.
Liberty Sparkle’s coat was pure white like freshly fallen snow, while her mane and tail were blue like her father and with pink highlights. Her eyes were purple much like her mother.
Prologue: A Start of Something New
Somewhere in the Crystal Empire, in a small room in the castle, something magical was happening. Princess Celestia and Luna were quickly finishing up some duties for an upcoming Gala, the Mane Six were talking amongst one another, and lastly, Shining Armor was walking back and forth waiting nervously.
"B.B.B.F.F., Please relax! Cadence is gonna be all right. I can promise you that," said a voice behind him as a hoof fell upon his shoulders. Turning around to look at his little sister he relaxed a bit and then smiled before her.
"Sorry Twily, it's just that… well, you know," he sighed and looked at the door where his wife was in labor, "it's my first child and, and I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad yet." hanging his head in shame.
"Oh Shining, you'll be great as a dad, trust me! You're THE Captain of the Royal Guard and you helped save Equestria from the Changeling invasion. Also, you are a prince of your own country for Celestia's sake!” Then, for emphasis on her point, she gave the white stallion a big hug, “Besides, you helped mom and dad to raise me, and look at how well you did.”
"Thanks Twilight," he said hugging her back tightly. Minutes later, the Prince of the Crystal Empire was called in, after that you could hear loud and painful screaming from the Princess inside as well as her husband who had decided at that time to hold her hoof.
Seconds went into minutes and minutes became hours with no sign of life to be found from within, until at 3:59 P.M. on March 7th a miracle happened. Smiling to ear to ear was the doctor telling everyone to come in, but to be very quiet. Lying on the bed was Princess Cadence, looking very tired and mane in a mess. Standing next to her was Prince Shining Armor, in a similar messy state, and both were beaming down at their minute old unicorn foal. Everypony looked in awe at the new filly.
"Awww what's her name?" Asked Rarity when she looked at the cute little thing.
"Her name is Liberty Heartshine Sparkle," said the proud mother of the newborn.
"Shucks, she's as cute as Apple Bloom when she was just a little filly. Ah just don't get it, though, how come she's a unicorn and not an alicorn?" asked the farmer pony that was named Applejack.
"I can answer that,” Celestia said, walking into the room along with a dark blue alicorn. “You see, you have to prove yourself worthy of becoming an alicorn like myself and Luna."
"So were the both of you were unicorns?" asked a rainbow maned pegasus.
Luna looked at Rainbow Dash with a smile before turning her head to Celestia "Actually, Tia was just an unicorn while we were a pegasus. This is why Celestia is more capable with magic then flying while we have more skill with flight."
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
Meanwhile in the Changeling Kingdom’s castle, in the middle of a birthday ball within the castle, a crazed little princess was chasing a small black foal known as Metamorphosis.
"Oh come back Metamorphosis! Comeback and be my mine already! You know we are to marry someday! Oh please stop running! Metamorphosis, METAMORPHOSIS!!!" yelled the strange princess from another hive.
"NO! Get away from me!! OUT OF ALL MARES WHY YOU! I've never agreed to marry you IN MY LIFE!" screamed a scared Metamorphosis.
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
Chapter One: A Royal Kidnapping
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Liberty, Happy Birthday to youuuuu!!!! Now make a wish and blow out the candles Liberty!" Sang the group of ponies to the little filly as she looked at the giant cake before her a light with red flame; and, taking a huge breath, she blew out the candles with all her 5 year old might.
"So little cousin, what did you wish for?" asked the white unicorn stallion, by the name of Blueblood.
"I wished fow my cutie mawk, B.C.B.F.F!" said a joyful white coat, blue haired with pink highlights filly.
"It's not that easy, L.C.B.F.F. It took me my whole foalhood to find out that I liked to travel around the world," he said as he nuzzled her, tickling her lightly.
"Okay!" said a little sad yet happy filly.
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
"Looks like someone's tired," Grandma Sparkle said as she pointed to a little foal that was about to fall into her cake, the little foal’s eyes drooping as she spoke.
"Well, then let's put her to bed. Thanks for coming everypony," Shining Armor said to the mane six, Spike, Blueblood, his parents, Dinky, Octavia, D.J.Pon3, the Princesses, and the Wonderbolts.
2 hours after Luna's night fell, a plan went into action. Quietly opening a window, was the group known as the E.F.D. Carefully and quickly, they gagged and put young Liberty inside a small brown sack; however, unfortunately for them she had time to wake up and let out a loud scream before then that was loud enough to cause the two white and brown earth pony guards on duty to come rushing to her room on high alert.. Once inside, they saw the three soldiers draped in black robes, holding a little filly sized sack. A low growl came from one of the guard’s lips as they drew their swords from their hilts. Not wasting a single second of precious time, the silent kidnappers lept from the window and out into the night, their wings taking them off into the starry sky before the guards could stop them.
The next day brought an intense situation to the entire castle as the empire was erupt in a blast of chaos! Every guard was on high alert and began searching searching everywhere for the missing princess. Back in the castle, everypony in Liberty’s family was a mass of bustling activity.
Cadence and Shinning Armor were running around like mad dogs. Luna and Celestia were trying to figure out where to go and how to find her. Meanwhile Twilight was using scrying spells along with Spike's help as he began to look for new books to help. Rainbow Dash was busy rallying some of the pegasi in her Wonderbolt squadron to go off on the search while Pinkie Pie used some of her connections to find likely culprits. Rarity and Fluttershy took turns to help comfort the sadden alicorn mare while Applejack began to ask her family for help. The most worried one, however, was Blueblood who was crying in the corner.
"I will find you, L.C.B.F.F., no matter what! I'll get revenge for you, mark my word, I will!" Blublood swore to himself as he raised his hoof to the heavens.
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Yeah... This could really use some editing. Verb tenses are off, there are run-on sentences, there's choppy language ("asked the white unicorn stallion the one the call Blueblood"?) and there's a lot of Shinning Armor instead of Shining Armor (one sounds like soccer equipment while the other is a name).
Interesting concept, but it's kindof messy.
2980271>>2980271
I'm terrible sorry, I know I need an editor but PLEASE don't give up on me!!!! I'll try beter.
So the changeling isn't a changeling? He's a hole-less alicorn prince? WTF?
I saw the concept and loved it, but the poor grammar and typical storytelling stopped me cold.
Find editors and proofreaders and I'll try it again.
Ok, it's better, but there are still some things that seemed off to me.
Spell your numbers out, it looks a lot nicer and more professional.
Sentence fragment.
This feels unnecessary. You already told us what she looked like when she was born a couple paragraphs earlier. This feels just long and unwieldy.
For some reason, it seems like you just picked random names for here. Are the guests important? If not, you could have it be like a gala an djust excuse the mother and let the party go on.
Also, Shinning Armor in the second to last paragraph.
It's better, I'll give you that, and it sounds like it could be entertaining, but it's still a bit rough in places.
Most certainly better, but still irks me.
1. Now Blueblood's a nice guy?
2. Why is Metamorphosis getting married?
3. Random Celestia and Luna background?
4. Run-on sentences.
5. The storytelling is still rather un-unique, people write like that in junior high.
6. Reasons listed in the above comment.
7. And most importantly; THE HOLE-LESS ALICORN CHANGELING PRINCE.
I hope I wasn't too harsh, but I felt this needed to be said.
3022239
All will make since in due time, please just wait