Discovery
"AHHHHHH!"
Amias flinched at the sudden shouts that came from Twilight and Spike.
"Okay, I know this looks ba-"
"AHHHH! IT TALKED AGAIN!"
"Okay, I know this looks crazy-"
"AHHHHI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYPLEASEDON'TEATME!" Spike repeatedly screamed. Crying and hugging onto Twilight so hard that he probably drew blood.
"...So here's my number-"
"AHHH IT'S A SPAWN FROM TARTARUS! RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE HUMANS! PLEASE DON'T CONVERT US!"
"...And call me maybe?"
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
"All right! Stop whatcha doin' 'cause I'm about to ruin the image and the style that your used to!"
"FJTJRBJFJGDJSDDDDKFKBAHHHH!"
"I look funny, but yo I'm making money see, so yo Equestria I hope your ready for me!"
They started foaming at the mouth.
"Now gather round, I'm the new fool in town, and my sounds laid down by the underground!"
Amias started clapping to the beat of the song he was singing. When he started clapping, Twilight and Spike somehow got into the beat, their hearts slowed down some. Spike, still looking very confused, started clapping with Amias.
"I drink up all the Apple Cider ya got on ya shelf. So just let me introduce myself my name is Humpty!"
They both got into the swing of things, Twilight started clapping her hooves her look of utter fear and confusion slowly turning into a smile. Their heads started bobbing as Amias continued.
"Pronounced with a Umpty, yo mares oh how I like to hump thee. And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee!"
"I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me!"
"I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky, I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal LUMPY. I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack! But sometimes I get ridiculous, I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice!"
As the rap continued, Twilight and Spike started jumping up and down, dancing and swinging. Twilight did this...movement that almost broke Amias's concentration, it was HILARIOUS!
Twilight opened her eyes to see that she was in front of Spike and the human, he was staring blankly at them, while Spike was looking around in a confused stupor.
"Huh?...I could of sworn..." Twilight rubbed her head. "I think the girls are right, have to lay off the studying just a little bit...seeing humans sing and rap with Groucho glasses on might be a sign."
Twilight looked at the human and smiled. "You have a very good singing voice." Twilight chuckled at her own joke. She trotted over to him and petted the human on the head, Amias responded by rubbing his cheek against Twilights hoof. She 'awwed'.
"No wonder to ponies up in Canterlot want to study you. I almost want you for myself!"
Twilight walked away towards Spike. A stern glare seeped into her facial features.
"Don't let 'that' happen again alright? I'm still paying off that mare to keep quiet about what you did to her human. And what if Fluttershy found out you...were 'doing the humpty hump' with Spider?"
Spike paled.
"Exactly, so keep it in your sheath Spike."
'Where did 'humpty hump' come from?...Oh yeah...that dream. The humpty dance is your chance to do the hump...'
*POOF!*
And she was gone.
"Twilight!? Why did you go and run off like that!?" Rainbow asked. All her friends were waiting for her at the train station before her sudden teleportation. The train was almost here and Rainbow Dash was doing the Pegasus equivalent of pacing around in circles, flying around in circles. It got so bad that a miniature tornado was starting to form and Applejack had to hog tie her just to keep her still.
"Ummm...why are you hog tied?" Twilight asked.
"Don't try to change the subject!"
The sound of a train stopped their argument before it grew into a complete casserole of nonsense. Applejack untied Rainbow and, unsurprisingly, she completely forgot her questions and flew to be the first pony on board. Twilight drew a sigh of relief, she really didn't want to explain her panic attack at the library...or the Spike incident. But she did giggle at the memory of dancing while a human wearing gazpacho glasses was singing some sort of song.
"Watcha giggling at?" A voice abruptly said from right next to her.
The sound of Twilights head smashing against the ceiling could be heard throughout the entire train.
"OWW! PINKIE! Don't scare me like that!"
"Okays, but what were you giggling at?" She asked again, the smile of hers almost reaching her ears.
Twilight hesitated at first in telling her about the hallucination, but she remembered two things:
1. She could trust her friends with anything...
2. She was Pinkie Pie...she probably would dance with the human and sing along while riding on it's back shooting strobe lasers from her eyes.
"Well..." She told her everything (minus the part where she caught Spike molesting the human), the dancing, the human wearing Groucho glasses, the one time Twilight started beatboxing (even SHE didn't know she could do that) and she somehow acquired a giant solid gold clock necklace and sunglasses. And when she found Spike in the corner floating in the air, spinning rapidly and what sounded like machine gun fire was coming from his arse. (Even though Twilight didn't know what a machine gun was, so she just described it as rapid popping noises.).
When she was done retelling her tale, she looked over to Pinkie to see the she somehow acquired a notebook and pencil (another gift from the other Equestria) and was writing furiously.
"Pinkie...what are you writing?"
"Oh nothing...just the GOLD that you just described to me! Next time, I'M babysitting the human!"
"Ummm....Okay?"
Spike drew a sigh of relief. And looked at Amias.
"That's the last time I'm doing that...I'm going to bed."
Spike went upstairs, he hoped that what he saw wouldn't happen again in his dreams. He knew it was impossible for humans to talk, let alone start singing and dancing with gazpacho glasses on. That was more up Pinkie's alley...but just to be sure he wasn't going to touch this human in ANYWAY.
Amias was alone in a library...the only thing to entertain him was the 'gamecube' Spike left out. And books...copious amounts of books. It would be a no-brainer, awesome otherworldly video games, or dusty old books?
But the fact was that Amias was completely in the blind here. Sure he knew HOW humans are treated...but...why?
He had a gut feeling that things were not all they seemed, he wanted to know more about humans in this world... so, he went against his inner child and started to look for the 'humans section' or the 'H' section of the library...
There was none.
'VHAT!? Y U NO DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM!?'
He was completely baffled as to the order of this books, 'Daring Do' was next to 'The crystals of the horsehead caves'...
And he didn't know what either of them were!
It took him HOURS of careful searching but he finally found something. It was a book filled with descriptions, first sightings, and histories of many animals. And unlike Twilight this book was in alphabetical order!
"Hallelujah!" Amias screamed in joy. He quickly closed his mouth and looked up...Spike didn't wake up.
'Whew...got to control myself.'
He skimmed through the book until he found the pages where humans were described. No known logs containing the explanation of the name 'human' though.
'Weird...'
After he read the section pertaining to humans, even more questions raised. Turns out, ponies don't really have a solid story as to where humans came from. The most widely accepted theory is that humans are from the Griffon Kingdom, the griffons would hunt them for food. Sooner or later griffons started to overhunt the humans and Celestia had to intervene to save the species... they say her anger made the sun RED for three weeks and the griffons would have to either illegalize the consumption of humans or...
The Griffon Kingdom would go the way of Sodom and Gomorra...
'Will that be Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?'
Amias didn't have much love for griffons, not that he would LIKE them all to burn under the wrath of a super mega SUN Kamehameha, but this was about 2,000 years ago....
2,000 years ago...
Equestria's current ruler is Celestia...
"DOES NOT COMPUTE! 011111010000! HOW OLD IS THIS RELIC!?"
Again he checked upstairs...nothing.
"How heavy of a sleeper is this dude?"
"WHO SAID THAT!?" Spike suddenly awoke to the sound of Amias's previous sentence.
'CRAP, CURSE YOU CARTOON LOGIC!'
He quickly put the book back in the place he found it and, since he had to think fast, did the best thing he could have done in this situation...
Leap belly first onto the floor and hope Spike thinks he's asleep.
"I'm warning you, I've been practicing my breathing! I can shoot fire!" Spike 'warned' to whoever he thought he was there. All he saw when he went downstairs made him freeze, and that's not good considering he's cold blooded.
Amias's 'master plan' messed up his toga on the fall...and Spike was just at the right angle to see his...
There are a lot of slang words to describe it. The Washington monument, the pocket rocket, the sticky grenade, and the hot pocket, just to name a few. So whatever you want to call it, he saw it.
Spike's breathing started to quicken, his eyes dilated, his mouth began to dry. He couldn't stop staring at it...he didn't want to stop staring at it, he wanted to do more than stare at it. But Twilight's warning rang true, there would be Tartarus to pay if he so much as breathed on him wrong...
So he did when almost every member of the male species did when they saw something they liked but couldn't have...
He ran into Twilights room, grabbed her bottle of lavender scented lotion, a box of tissues, ran into the bathroom, and locked the door. He was going to be busy...for a long time. Using his 'Emerald Sword' to issue the 'Cry of the Brave'.
Amias heard his scrambling and deduced that the coast was clear. He stood up and tried to find more books, slightly curious to what that light thumping sound is in the background, but his search was more important. He could of sworn he heard someone say the words 'human' and 'rarity' in the same sentence. But he shrugged it off.
By the time he combed the entire library, the thumping sound was STILL sounding in the background. In fact, it got louder!
'What the hell is that thumping noise?...And what's that smell?'
His curiosity was about to get the best of him until he noticed for the first time a door, it was completely covered in shadow a couple hours ago, but his extensive searching moved time along enough for the sun to move so that the doors corner was barely visible.
His wariness and experience with horror movies was immediately quashed by the overwhelming smell of...whatever that was. He walked over to the door and opened it, there was a single light showing from the bottom of the stairs, the overwhelming mystery smell and thumping was almost immediately replaced with the 'basement' smell and complete silence. When he reached the bottom of the stairs he couldn't believe what he saw, it was some sort of... machine. and strapped to it was a helmet and to cuff-like things on a podium....
'Lets hope this mare isn't some mad scientist or some crap like that.'
There were rolls of paper, and tubes fill with some mysterious liquids. One in particular caught his attention, it was a darkish blue and had a picture similar to a troll face on it. It had a note on it that said 'grape soda!'
Amias looked at the bottle in question, it does look like a soda bottle...and he was a little thirsty... but on the other hand he found it in a secret laboratory on a random table...but it WAS grape soda...
He took the bottle and gulped it down, true to the note, it DID taste like grape soda. When he was done with the bottle, he put It down and continued on... not reading the rest of the note that was covered by the bottle 'potion perfected, safe to use on ponies without side effects, changes gradual and permanent rather than exponential and temporary. Tastes like grape soda!'
Amias was in for a surprise...later on.
He continued into the basement lab when he remembered something...
Celestia's reaction to humans almost dying. Why DID she almost kill all the griffons because of their over hunting of humans? Was she an eco-nut or something?
His thoughts were interrupted when he almost slammed his head on the wall...there was a button staring him right in the face...his curiosity getting the better of him, he pushed it...
Dust landed on his head as the sound of ancient gears turned in the walls of the library's walls...the wooden walls of the library started falling, sounding almost EXACTLY like the sound that the Ancient Nord puzzle doors make in Skyrim...he can almost HEAR the cave exploration music inside his head.
He cautiously entered the hallway in with the doors gave him excess to...and what he found in the darkest bowels of that ancient tree...
Would forever change him...and forever change Equestria.
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THIS CHAPTER ENDING IS
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m37gtkgxHq1qas19no1_500.gif
3176916 Did you know that trees can live over ten thousand years?
3176951
IRRELEVANT!
3176978 Think of it, it could be totally plausible. Golden oaks is a HUGE tree. Its roots must spread throughout the entirety of Equestria...It could be the first tree...EVER! THE TREE! FLUTTERSHY PRIME! It is not known WHEN the tree was hollowed out, who hollowed it out, and its age can easily make it a contestant to be older than Celestia HERSELF. There can totally be a secret underground section of the library where super hush-hush things are hidden...besides, a secret section of a library being revealed...pretty sure that's a cliché.
so much waiting and i get this? please continue
3177091 sorry for the wait. College hit me in the face with homework. But on the upside I got my very first laptop, so I can work on the story whenever I want...when I'm not doing homework.
Seriously, HOW does Twilight like constantly studying? Her back must be made of rubber or something, my neck sounds like a rockslide every time I roll it.
I am waiting for him to actually tell them he is inteligent. The suspense is KILLING ME!!!
3177324 lol cool love the story it hilarious
Ten thousand thumbs up!
3177050
You're the author, you can do whatever you want in your story. You could go and give spike laser vision.
3179783 I already made him spin in a corner with machine gun fire coming out his ass. Think bigger.
I think you meant dust*
3179790
His hands can turn into chainsaws that he orientates to propel him at the speed of sound while laser farts come from his ass that play out the Mario theme?
3180391 Think '8-bit Star Power theme' from the original Mario. You have much to learn young grasshopper.
Oh my god this is amazing. Keep this up man. So funny! And dark. Nice combo.