Twilight and Hitler Go to Hell

by FlutterLight

I lied.

Yellow Pone had just shot Twilight. She was sad. She took the gun and shot five times in the air. It killed Angel, Gilda, Blueblood, Snips, and Snails. There was much rejoicing. Twilight suddenly came back to life and stole your M1911.

"Hey bitch! Give me my gun back!" Yellow Pone yelled, but she was too quiet.

Twilight ran back to her home, which was always on fire because it could. Spike opened the door and washed Twilight's foot while he brushed her teeth and brushed her tail.

"Spike, you are such a terrible worker. I'm going to have to cut your pay!"

Spike broke down crying. "No senorita! I do better job! Look, I even clean books.*"

"Shut the Hell up, slave! Now clean the toilets at the Taco Belle next door!"

Spike said, "But senorita, they have their own cleaning staff."

"Just do it."

"Okay senorita."

Spike left to go clean the disgusting bathrooms at Taco Belle. Twilight stabbed him in the back, because who likes dragons? Twilight decided she hated her window, so she blew it up. She suddenly got the urge to go play CoD. She turned on Call of Duty: Black Ops II. She went to Zombies Mode and choose Tranzit.

"Who even likes Mob of the Dead? Tranzit is the only good map ever made. Fuck Moon, give me Tranzit."

She got the War Machine from the box.

"This is the best weapon in the game. Why isn't it a Wonder Weapon? It's much better than the Ray Gun!"

She died on Round Five.

"New highscore! Nopony's ever gotten past Round Four before!"

And Twilight was an idiot.

Yellow Pone came back and stabbed Twilight in the foot. Twilight pulled out the M1911 and shot Yellow Pone. But, Yellow Pone was a ninja, so the bullet went through her and killed Applejack, the best background pony. Then the slut, Rarity, used her marehood to absorb the bullet. She died. Twilight was arrested for killing two pones and attempting to kill Yellow Pone.

Twilight pulled out her M1911 and shot everypony in the town except Yellow Pone, who was still a ninja. You suddenly came out of the ground.

"Hitler, what are you doing here? I'm on a psychotic rampage here!"

"I came back because I love you!"

You and Twilgiht kiss. Yellow Pone is there to read the vows. You two are married as Coldplay and the Beatles perform. Suddenly, Yellow Pone grabs Twilight's M1911. She kills both of you.

You both wake up in Hell. Fire is everywhere. All your clothes are dirty and filthy and on fire. Twilight is in the corner crying.**

"I was going to be President of the United States, but Fluttershy went insane! Now I'll never be President!"

"But Ze United States is dead. I killed zem all!"

Twilight stabs you in the eye with her horn. Because you are in Hell, you don't die. But you explode because you are Hitler and deserve to explode. Twilight stabs you in the neck with her horn, and you explode again. But, you always reform afterwards.

"Zat von't vork. Ve are immortal here."

"I don't care! I love it!"

Twilight stabs you again, this time in the dick. It hurts like Hell, and you explode twice.

"So you can explode twice. I'll have to tell Spike. If I ever get out, that is," Twilight said while stabbing your body fifty times.

Satan comes over.

"Hitler, my man! How you doing?"

You know Satan because you're Hitler. You made a deal with him so that every assassination attempt on you fails.

"I've been better. I vas shot by Yellow Pone, and I'm here, in Hell. Zis is vorse than ze time ze TARDIS crashed into my office."

Satan said, "So, you didn't just shoot youself in the head?"

"Nien! Vhy vould I do zat?"

"Just wondering."

Twilight said, "Mr Satan, may I go back to the Living World? I don't belong here, and I was going to be President."

Satan said, "Wait, you're a politician? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DOMAIN! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOUR KIND HERE!"

And Twilight went to the Living World, because politicians are worse than Hitler.***

Author's Note:

*Note: My best friend is Mexican. I have nothing against them.
**Anyone else getting a sense of déjà vu?
***Anyone else getting a sense of déjà vu?
Yes, I got lazy at the end. It basically is an infinite loop from then on. Every time they get married, Fluttershy kills them and it starts all over again.

Comments

[Indeliblink]

This was... oddly entertaining.
Up-vote

[Konstant]

Никакие слова не могут описать это.

[Eagle]

I just know this is Fegelein's doing

[Dricanus]

Comedy gold!

[Krenshaw]

This has to be one of the best things in existence ever.

[Normal]

I came.

[FlutterLight]

2993346 God damn it.

[Caesar Salad]

Hitler and Twilight getting married? Well, I got a new OTP now

[articunos bitch]

This is unsurprisingly ridiculous crap.I should have known...Ughh, I'll upvote it but I can't finish it. I'm sorry. It's funny, and I'm not supposed to take it seriously, but the fact that I can't bothers me. Good luck.

[Shadic Midnight Blitzer]

Lol