Risky Business

by Trail-Blazer

Chapter I: The Average Day

“Beep, -And we’ll take a look at the weather for this Thursday evening with what seems to be mostly cloudy the rest of the week with a small chance of rain but temperatures ranging in the high 60’s to low 40’s this eveni-“ I slammed the alarm clock as I urged myself to wake up. I sat up in bed with my eyes shut. A strong beam of light shone in through the window. That is when I realized; “Oh no.” I whispered. I took a look at the clock, 6:47 A.M. My eyes widened as I rushed out of bed. I got caught in the sheets and fell off the bed, landing face-down on the old carpet. I guess I had a bit of spring fever in me, since summer was nearly here. I staggered towards the bathroom where I hurriedly took a shower and brushed my teeth. I ate cereal while I got dressed and spilled small drops of milk as I did so. I was never very good at multitasking.

I bolted out the door not even bothering to lock it. My parents were already at work, so nobody could drive me to school. I hitched a ride on the city bus and checked my watch; 8:16 A.M. “Damn I’m late for school again,” I said with a shrug. I popped in my headphones and tapped my feet to the rhythm of the dubstep that flowed through my head. I got dropped off across the street from my High School. I quickly ran across the busy street, dodging speeding taxicabs as they screeched to stops and blared their horns furiously. This has been my third tardy in a row, and that means detention. SCHS (South Chicago High School). Home of the Southern “Bunnies.” What an embarrassment. They want to make us sound tough but send a good message to younger school kids. The whole concept of ‘school’ is a joke to me. Thankfully the doors weren’t locked. I scarcely walked down the halls trying to avoid any contact with patrolling teachers. “So far so good,” I said to myself in a reassuring voice. I nearly got to my English class when-

“Ah Mr. Smith. This is your third tardy is it not? Detention, in my office, this Saturday.” He strolled away, flicking his pen into the air with pride. “Oh and one more thing, don’t forget to turn in that money you owe the school for the broken window. I’ll expect that by the end of the day,” he reminded me. That was a stupid accident. I was sitting in French class watching a French love film. Ruler was the only object I could use to keep me busy and, just a friendly tip, don’t try to see how far you can shoot rulers across the room without the teacher seeing.

I grunted as he casually walked away. Great, just what I need to ruin my already “perfect” weekend. Summer is just around the corner and he gives a detention. I walked into class without saying a word. The teacher just gave me a stare of disapproval for interrupting her lecture. I sat down at my desk and twirled my pencil; ‘pretending’ to listen to my overage English teacher give a lecture on how Shakespeare was a loner his whole life. My annoying friend Jim must have noticed me with Mr. Young, because he had that stupid smug look on his face when he leaned over to me.

“What was that all about?” He asked with a half-smile on his face.

“Nothing, now fuck off,” I responded. I try not to swear, as I think it makes me look bad in front of the girls. Jim is about 8 months older than me. Weighed about 180 lbs. and was 6 foot 1. He was nearly half-a-foot taller than me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy having Jim as a friend, but I can’t stand him when he gloats. Jim has always been the one to get the girls, he’s not extremely popular, but he gets girlfriends nonetheless. In the past year, he’s had more girlfriends than I could count. On the offshoot he always asks for help with his homework. Even though I don’t do well myself, but I’m still considered the ‘smart’ one. He’s trying out for the Junior Basketball team. I rolled my eyes at the thought of it. He may be taller than me but I could still take him down easily if I wanted to. He’s not the brightest person out there.

“Another tardy right?” He said in a gloating manner. This lit a fuse inside that was bound to go off if he didn’t quit talking.

“Stop bugging me about it.” I said as I glared at him. He backed off after that, finally. I must have been speaking louder than I thought, because the teacher took note of my rambling.

“Mr. Smith, is there something you wish to share with the rest of the class?”

“No ma’am. Sorry,” I apologized as the people around me chuckled. Jim wouldn’t stop talking to me though. That’s just not what he does. Yet I’m the one who gets in trouble.

“Ok then,” He whispered to me. “Say, me and some of the other guys are going out with a few dates to the football stadium Friday night. How about you join us?”

“Can’t,” I said in a passive voice, “Busy Friday.”

“Busy with what!” He whispered. He eventually stopped talking to me after getting a glare from the teacher. School was never really my thing anyways. I got decent enough grades so my parents still bought me what I wanted. They don’t give me allowance so they repay me in buying me what I would have bought anyways. There was a knock on the classroom door. I knew who it was. Madison Young. Yep you guessed it, she is also the Daughter of that “thing” patrolling the halls. She was late again as usual.

“Hi Mrs. Greenwood,” She said with a cheerful smile. She gets to be late. That doesn’t seem to impress the teachers or the rest of us.

“Just take a seat Miss Young.” She responded with a scowl on her face. Oh she was beautiful. Err Madison not the teacher. She has long flowing brown hair with sweet sapphire eyes. Oh she is the best one. She rejected the head quarterback of the football team. The head quarterback! Hard to believe she would date anybody. The one boyfriend she did have dumped her for the head of the cheer team. Figures, as it happens to the best of us.

My life back home is very uneventful. My mom was always working to keep the house she has come to love so dearly. This house is so run-down that we would be better off with something else. Jim was right about most of what I call my daily routine: I go home, watch some TV, and then occasionally watch some episodes of old movies. My mother works 12 hours a day for Monday through Saturday. The only time she is home I’m usually asleep or she is from working midnight shifts on Saturdays. I was dozing off in thought as I snapped back to reality. I had to sit through 6 more hours of a teacher give lectures and homework to students that only drink and party every night. Pfft, not me of course. I was never invited to those parties anyways…

My walk home went as it usually does. Police always patrolling the back alleys, shooting people suspicious looks as they watched. Come to think of it, they were two new officers that I hadn’t noticed before. And they were staring straight at me. I tried to ignore it however, and kept moving to my street. Oh I forgot to mention my father. Truth is I don’t know much about him myself. He left to live in New York after I was about five. He took the job as head police chief. We still have a pretty good connection with each other after he left, but in the past few years we stopped messaging each other. I completely agree with my mother leaving him. I still have some respect for him though. I thought seeing him would give us a chance to clear some things up. I’ve always wanted to go visit him. It just wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. I opened the door to my house. It was small in comparison to most houses, but it was bigger than any other house on the block.

“Mom I’m home,” I shouted, throwing my backpack down in the corner. No answer. I noticed a bright pink note on the counter. It read; “Working overtime, see you tomorrow.” Strange I thought. No ‘I love you’, or ‘call me’. I brushed it off and went for the fridge, flipping the radio on. “Beach Boys, great,” I thought to myself as ‘Surfing USA’ played. I finished some leftover Subway and sat at my TV. I flipped through channels, trying to find something that wasn’t related to drama or sexual themes. Amc, Cartoon Network, Disney, FX, Spike, HUB… My Little Pony marathon. “Ponies. What a joke,” I said to myself as I turned on the Play Station.

I checked my watch; 11:21 P.M. I was tired but my mom wouldn’t come home until 2:00. I got up from the couch and picked up my Electric Guitar. I enjoyed guitar as a hobby. It was my replacement for sports. I hated sports. I’m not good at any of them. I sat in my computer chair and played with the radio. This lasted for a good half an hour until I heard a car pull up to my driveway. I knew it was my driveway because of that damn pothole that was right smack in the center of it. That thing was always impossible to avoid. Then there was a knock at my door. I sat there for a second, deciding whether or not to answer it. Then there was a voice. “Uh, Morgan Smith?” the voice called from behind the door, “I have a package here for you.” That was my mother's name. I got up and walked towards the door. I peered through the glass siding. There wasn’t anyone there.

“Is this some kind of a joke? I must be more tired than I thought,” I thought out loud. I decided to check for a package anyway. But there was no package at the doorstep. There was a small creature staring up at me, eyes beaming. “Ok, this is trippy,” I said taking a step back. The creature was horse-like with white fur and a flowing Multi-colored mane and tail. It just looked and smiled at me. It had a red bow on its head. “Kind of cute,” I thought. I heard something break in the kitchen and I turned around quickly. I looked over my shoulder back at the door and the pony figure had disappeared. I blinked in disbelief. I closed the door and held my forehead. “Hello? Is there anyone there?” I asked cautiously. No answer from the kitchen. I could smell an aroma emanating from the fridge. I cautiously staggered over to the fridge. I only had my fists as defense. I jolted the fridge open and there was nothing there. All the food was gone too! “Ok, time for bed!” I said aloud, walking to the bedroom. “I am seeing apparitions,” i said to myself. I stopped, dead in my tracks. There was food scattered all across the floor!

I suddenly started getting drowsy. Then I heard another knock on the door. “Oh boy,” I said. The radio music began to fade. My vision became blurry. The door opened on its own, as six colorful figures walked in. I could barely see them as they approached me. “S-Stay back,” I said trying not to pass out. They all stood there and watched me as I knelt from the effect of whatever poison I had consumed. The light blue one began to approach me. “Am I being abducted?!” I thought to myself as the creatures curiously watched me fade into oblivion. The light blue one however walked up to me and stared right into my eyes. That’s when I collapsed on the hardwood floor. I could hear voices around me saying to move me to the bed, that’s when I lost all thought and fell into a hypnotic state of sleep.

Comments

[Quilty]

So far so good. I like the protagonist for his relationship with his friend. (in a non-erotic sense.) He's got a friend who also unwittingly acts as his nemesis which is something cool. I do think you should clarify the situation with the protag's dad. Is he divorced? Did he get a good job over there but did the protag's mother not want to leave? His parent's seem like they get along so it makes the situation seem odd, there's a lot of questions this first chapter raises that are less than detrimental to what could well be the main plot so it'd be nice if we can get some light shed on those questions. I am going to give one piece of advice that I wholeheartedly think you should follow through. Change the preview pic, It does draw several parallels to the preview pic for 'my little Dashie' (pareidolia is weird) and a lot of people are sick to death of things similar to it and these same people are often quick to judge something.

[Normal]

Yay for Chicago~

Ok there are grammartical errors though. Missing commas and the like for the most part. Also it's a pet peeve of mine when people don't spell out the numbers in their story.

Another thing, I noticed the crossover tag but I'm curious as to what this is a crossover with.

[Dr Daring Doo]

Pretty good for a first story and first chapter... but I'd like another chapter please mylittlefacewhen.com/f/473/

[Vorki]

Good job dude

[Trail-Blazer]

2924802
I'll take your advice for this because I can see why this cover art doesn't fit. Although I was planning a filly princess celestia in the second chapter,(something during her coming here that altered her age state) it would have been smarter to include her in the first chapter so it was more clear what the art was for. But that won't really work out. I'll have to think of something else that relates to the story more. But to be honest I'm at a loss for ideas. Hopefully I'll find something to replace the coverart, but i may have to leave it the same until I find another one. For a story with coverart seems to attract more people's attention to a story than nothing at all. If you have a suggestion then i would happily take it into account. Thanks for your advice though, and I'll make a few edits to my story.

[Vexine]

I got u from the couch and picked up my Electric Guitar

Do you see it?

[Trail-Blazer]

2928019
Gah sorry, it happens sometimes. Microsoft word didn't seem to notice that when I do spelling and grammar checks. I'll fix it nonetheless.
Second chapter coming out soon.

[Vexine]

2928434 1.Don't be sorry. 2.Good I seem to have a liking to it.

[Bronyz4ever90]

Abit confused at the end, but hey; seems pretty good :)

[Derpface127]

Unexplainable ponies appear at your door. WHAT DO?

[SkyPieIsTheBest]

More please