DJ Problems

by joe mother

Take Your Pony to Work Day

My eyes opened slightly as the morning sun passed through my bedroom window onto my eyes.

It was a dream, I thought, giddy with relief. All of that shit was a dream. There is no pony in my house and I just had a seriously fucked-up dream.

"Hey, dude in his room, where're the carrots?!"

My eyes snapped open and I almost screamed in fury. It fucking happened. That pony was in my house. I was going to kick her out and- no, wait. I promised Vinyl a week and a half, and I was not going to betray her. Even if she was a pain. Even if every plague in the universe needed to descend upon her. I did not want to betray a pony with magic. And the ability to kick my shins and ankles.

"They're in the fridge!" I yelled back.

It had been a whole day since the box had shown up at my doorstep, seemingly harmless and nothing to be scared of. Now the box had become a nightmare, a DJ who loved loud things, guns, videogames, and as I had figured out yesterday, much to my dismay, alcohol.

~

I set the beer down a popped it open with my bottle opener. I tossed the metal ring in the trash and took a long swig. I was not sure how to continue with having Vinyl. I had work tomorrow, and I did not want to leave her alone in my house for a whole day. I imagined all the terrible scenarios for when I got home if I left her.

She could throw a party; get on the internet and invite all of my internet friends. She could blast music too loud. SO many bad things could happen if I left her here alone. I chugged the rest of my beer and groaned.

"What's up?"

I looked and saw that Vinyl had been standing there, watching me.

"A problem," I said.

"What kind?" the DJ replied.

"A problem with you."

"What? ME?! Why?"

"I have to go to work tomorrow, and I can't leave you here, nor will I be able to take you to work."

"Sure you can leave me here!"

"I don't even begin to trust you. I am not leaving you here." I stared her down.

"Well, then take me to your job! I can be quiet, I guess."

"Look, I can't take a pony into my job! How would I manage to teach a music class with you hidden away somewhere, still probably going to do something stupid?!"

"You teach music?"

"Yes, so?" I narrowed my eyes.

"I want to come to your job. Music is awesome."

"I know that. However, no. I don't trust you to be silent."

"You can always... give me an MP3 player and some headphones."

I thought about it. Leaving her to listen to music while I taught seemed much better than leaving her here alone or bringing her to work without anything to do.

"Fine," I said, defeated.

Vinyl laughed and looked at the beer I had yet to throw away.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It's beer," I said.

Vinyl stared at it.

"I love beer," she said. "I used to drink it all the time when I was in Equestria."

I paused.

"No," I said. "You are not having beer."

The DJ groaned and scuffed her hoof on the ground. She changed her expression to one of sadness. It was just so adorable. I could not resist.

"Fine," I said, tossing her a bottle.

"Yay!" she yelled, popping the cap with a quick flick of magic. She drank some. "Wow! That's pretty good!"

And the night became a bit less clear after that.

~

I grabbed the stuff I needed to get dressed: a button-down shirt, blue in color, a pair of black pants, and dress shoes. I showered quickly and put on the clothing. I went downstairs and grabbed a small book bag, which was what I used to carry all of the items I needed for work. However, it was now next to empty, with all of my things placed around it.

"Vinyl!" I yelled.

The unicorn was there, chewing on a carrot.

"Mhmhmm?" she asked.

"Get in," I said, pointing at the bag. "This is how you're getting inside the building with me."

Vinyl took a step back and shook her head.

"A'm clhaushthropfhobi'," she said.

"What?" I asked. She spat her food out.

"I'm claustrophobic!" she said again.

"Too bad, get in the bag," I said. "Either that or you won't get music."

Vinyl took a moment to think and jumped in. I started placing all of my work necessities around her, surprised by how easily it still fit. I zipped up the bag, leaving a few inches of space at the top, where light could come in as well as air.

"Vinyl," I started. "When we get to work, I'll tell you. You need to stop making any noise. I have my MP3 player in my pocket, and when we get to work and I get to the room where I teach, I'll put the bag down and let you out. You will stay put under my desk and listen to music. Understand?"

There was no answer.

"Vinyl?" I asked.

"How do you know my name?" she asked. "I never told you."

Damn it! I didn't think about that! Oh, fuck.

"Uh, I just thought that it suited you," I began. "Turns out it's your name!"

I chuckled softly and picked up the bag. I slung it over my shoulder-much to the complaint of Vinyl-and walked to my garage, where a 2006 Ford Fusion awaited us. I placed Vinyl in the passenger's seat, where she stuck her head out of the bag. I thanked a higher being that she was not tall enough to be seen outside of the window.

I started the car and opened the garage. I drove out, closing it behind me. I left my driveway and continued my journey to the college where I worked.

~

I was amazed at how smoothly it was going. We had arrived, and everything had gone to plan. I got in without any noise from Vinyl, got to my classroom without any problems, and got Vinyl under the desk with my MP3 player five minutes before class started. She was under there now, nodding her head to the beat of one of my songs.

Right now, I was nearing the end of my final lesson, and my time to leave would be soon. I finished talking about augmented chords and waved my hand for them to leave.

They all filed out except for one, who came up to me at the desk.

"Sir?" he asked.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I'm going to be... out... of-"

His eyes fixated on something under my desk.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit.

I saw him raise his arm to point at it. I freaked out and grabbed Vinyl. I shoved her in my bag, zipped it up all the way, muffling the shouts of protest she had mage when I grabbed her, and ran. I was out of the classroom and to my car in record time.

I started the engine and drove off, my heart pounding in my chest. I unzipped the bag, from which a dizzy Vinyl came out.

"What was that?!" she demanded.

"Sorry," I said. "It's just that- someone saw you. I had to get out."

Vinyl shook her head to clear away her blurriness.

"You didn't have to be so rough about it," she said.

"I'm sorry," I replied. "It's just that I couldn't let anyone figure out that you were here. They could end up telling the wrong people and... it would get really bad."

"How bad?"

"We're talking telling secret agencies in the government you exist bad. They would want to cut you open for science, and I'd be powerless to stop them. I don't want that to happen to a pony."

Vinyl rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," she said.

"Yes!" I said back. "Besides, you need to get that stuff done! How far have you gotten?"

"Oh, uh, not very far. It's hard to get done what I need to when you're around."

"What is it? Tell me and I can help!"

"I'll tell you when I feel like it!"

I sighed and continued driving, wishing to be home as soon as possible. When we arrived, I let Vinyl in and grabbed my bag. I walked in and placed it down. It was then that I heard chatter from inside. I felt my eyes widen.

The government.

I began to pace through my house, quietly, the chatter growing louder as I went. I turned into the living room and stopped.

"Fuck," I said. "Fuck you, Vinyl."

In my house, dozens of people were talking, dancing, and drinking. I saw Vinyl, in the middle of the crowd, people hovering over her in shock. She saw me, and she blushed. I flipped her off and approached the crowds. Then the world got hectic.

Author's Note:

Sorry, Regidar. No illegal stuff yet.

Comments

[joe mother]

2842611

AS BAD.

People expect so little from PoE or HiE. I think people should walk in with an open mind. I don't judge any of the overdone tropes until I read them.

[Vinyl Mix]

2842800 2842789: I have to agree with Nexo on that, mainly because I am going to be writing a HiE story and I am trying to stay away from stereotyping as much as I can. The reason that most people hate HiE and PoE is because they are all so similar. The reason we like this story and hopefully mine too is because you are breaking the stereotype and mold, so cudose to you, Good Job! Can't wait to see more!

[joe mother]

2843400

The reason I broke the mold is because I've never read enough HiE and PoE to fall into it. That's the trick when writing about a trope. Don't read too much of that trope or you'll fall into the rut that the trope has dug themselves into.

[Serefin]

Well, Vinyl has made a mess of things quite quickly. Hasn't she?

[Cryopocalypse]

cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/38309551.jpg

[Vinyl Mix]

2843410 that is kind of how i manage to stay out of it also.