Beyond the Mirror Pool

by Sin Kurtiz

Chapter 3: The Start of the Journey

Pinkamena stepped out of the Legendary Pokemon Clone room then walked next door to the Pokemon Clone room. Same as before, she heard many garbled noises coming from the room. She looked in and saw many creatures. But, they weren't as awe-inspiring as the legendaries. They also ranged in sizes smaller than Pinkie's nose to larger than that of Sugar Cube Corner at Ponyville. The room that all these creatures were in looked like the real world, with mountains that scratch the sky and oceans that seemed like they could flood all of Equestria. There were many of these creatures known as Pokemon. Too many to count. She stepped inside and started looking for Lucario, the one that Arceus had mentioned. She walked up to a large hill and looked around. She then realized that she didn't know what Lucario looked like. She sighed in anger. Pinkamena then grabbed her large megaphone and yelled into it.

"Lucario! Are you in here?! I was sent by a really large and strange Pokemon called Arceus to look for you! Would you mind coming over here, pretty please with whipped cream, sprinkles, 3 extra scoops of ice cream, and a cherry on top? Thankies!"

Many of the Pokemon had turned and looked at her. Many spoke between each other whispering about Pinkamena no doubt. Pinkamena was surveying the area, seeing if any of these Pokemon stood out. She noticed part of the crowd was parting to let one Pokemon through. He stood on his hind legs. He had blue and black fur all over him. He had spikes through his front paws and one right in the middle of his yellow chest. His red eyes shined with power. He walked up the hill towards Pinkamena and he spoke to her in a voice that made her scared. "Why did Arceus send you to look for me? He promised me rest."

Pinkamena smiled at him and said happily, "He sent me to tell you that he said that you need to help me leave this crazy world and that you're the only one that has ever left. Except that you came back because your trainer passed away. What did he pass? Was it a ball? Was he playing Wonderball?"

Lucario groaned angrily. He then looked towards the crowd of Pokemon and waved his hand. The others then continued with what they were doing.

Lucario looked towards Pinkamena. "Listen I can help you get out of here, but I have a few rules if I'm going to help you."

"1. I lead, not you."

"2. You don't do anything unless I say so. "

"And 3. You do not ever bring up my trainer. Do you understand?"

Pinkamena happily nodded her head. Though she still wondered...What does passed away mean?

Lucario had started walking towards the door and gestured for Pinkamena to follow. She does, but bounces instead of walking. When they enter the hallway Lucario turns right and walks all the way down the hallway. They both end up reaching a large blank wall with nothing on it. Lucario then grabs a door handle that wan't there before. He pulls and they walk out.

When Pinkamena had gotten outside she had taken a large breath of fresh air. She hadn't been outside since all of the clones were sent through the Mirror Pool to this strange land. Lucario came up behind her and spoke to her. "Here you go, you're not in the clone world anymore."

What?" Pinkamena asked, "This isn't Equestria! I want to go back to my home!"

"You said you wanted to get out of the world of clones. Not back to your home. If you want something you need to be specific."

Pinkamena looked down. Lucario was right, she wasn't specific. But she didn't expect there to be more to this world. She thought once she was out of that hallway she would be back home. But, there was more.

Lucario looked at her and asked her, "It's going to be along and dangerous journey. Are you ready to go Miss...?"

Pinkamena looked up at Lucario. "My name Is Pinkamena Diane Pie. And Yes, I am ready to go."

Author's Note:

I feel like I'm making these chapters too short... But as long as the pacing is nice I don't mind.

And little fact about the story. Arceus said Lucario had Infernape with him and they got separated. And Lucario returned when he found out that his trainer had died.

That trainer was my Pokemon Platinum character Jay, which is my nickname that my family calls me. Infernape and Lucario were my best Pokemon and they were both unstoppable. But when I got White, I transferred my Infernape over and forgot about Lucario. Then I lost my Platinum game and Lucario along with it. Heis still lost to this day.

Comments

[The Whiskey Spirit]

Okay Review time... note to self: make catchy intro. I found a few faults but other than that it seems good.

Fault 1) Chapters: your chapters are extremely short, most people don't like reading little bits at a time. The only stories that can succeed at that are stories that update daily. Try to make a goal of at lest 1500 - 2000 words.

Fault 2) Grammar: This is a personal grudge, but important all the same, grammar. The story has occasional grammar problems, not too big a deal, but can still irk people.

Fault 3) Character interaction: Lucario agrees way too fast to escape. if he lost Infernape, and it truly is a treacherous journey, he would have put up some resistance.

Put time into it and truly think things out before typing. Overall an average story I give it a: 3/5, Check it out.

[Sin Kurtiz]

2837426
Alright thanks for the feedback. The first two faults I agree with, I'm going to plan out the story more before posting another chapter and I know my grammar needs to improve. But, I'm just an amateur at writing.

As for the third fault, Lucario agreed because he trusts Arceus's decision to tell him to help Pinkamena. Though inside, he feels like its going to be torture for him.

And what about the actual plot to the story? What is your opinion on that?

[The Whiskey Spirit]

2837451 That i cant comment on until i see more of the plot but aside from that the concept is quite interesting and gives you a great amount of possibilities for this story. if you play your cards right this could get a feature.