Circuitry

by Show Off

Autonomous Mare Prototype

Running is the only thing that dulls the pain. For the briefest moment in time, I can almost forget the jeers and haunting laughter. The clank of my metal hooves against the hard-packed earth, the breeze in my mane, the rhythmic pumping of my neck as I gallop forward; these feelings almost make me feel…alive.

If only the others could see me at these times. The pistons and motors and servos can move just as gracefully and just as precisely as the muscles and tendons they replace. And simply because my mind is a maze of circuits and logic gates does not mean I do not feel ashamed, or embarrassed, or hated.

I did not ask to be created; not anymore than the others asked to be born. Is not birth a kind of creation? Are we not each ripped from some ethereal void and thrust into a life we had no desire to join in the first place? Unlike the rest of the herd, I have a perfect memory of being brought online for the first time…

* * *

>Boot ready
>Load RUAI V 3.2.1

>Social Skill.exe

>Basic Emotion.exe

>Advanced Emotion.exe

>Cognizance.exe
> System test…
>OK

Imagine opening your eyes in a new world that you recognize. Everything is fresh and familiar, wonderous and old; you see something strange in front of you, and you know exactly what it is and how it works, all without ever having seen it or touched it before.

“A.M.P.?”

Motors whined almost imperceptibly as I turned my head to face the unicorn to my left. A lavender mare alicorn wearing a lab coat and a pair of glasses; she was the first living being I’d ever seen.

She tilted her head and gave me a smile. “Oh good, you know your name.” She paused to write down something on the clipboard that levitated in front of her. “Welcome to the world, A.M.P. I’m Twilight Sparkle; it’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” Her voice was sweet and calming, as any mother’s voice would be to her newborn child.

“Greetings.” I recoiled a bit at the sound of my own voice. It was cold and metallic, almost emotionless. “I…am happy to make your acquaintance.”

* * *

My run today takes me to a cave at the base of the mountain. Twilight says I should stay close to Canterlot, where she can keep an eye out for me. She does not understand my need to be alone, my drive for seclusion. The citizens in the city point and whisper about the strange robotic mare that walks among them. The fillies and colts around town throw rocks against my metallic shell, just to see if I can feel pain. The further away I am from them, the less I can feel the heartache of being feared.

The dark quiet of the cave surrounds me and I feel peaceful for once. The metallic smell of the calcified drippings from the ceiling is somehow comforting, despite the rust hazard it presents to me. I find a dry place to curl up, and wish one more time for tear ducts.

I lie there for hours, watching the shadows grow longer throughout the afternoon. Twilight will begin to worry about me if I don’t return before Moonrise in a few hours. Regretfully, I leave the comfort of the cave for the run back to town.

I enter the first floor laboratory at the Royal Canterlot Observatory just as the sun slips below the horizon. Twilight is waiting patiently for me by my bed along with her assistant Phase Shift. Together, the two of them are the only family I have ever known.

Phase is the first to acknowledge my entrance. The light brown unicorn mare has been studying under Twilight for the past year and a half, and often assists her with research and experiments. Her blue eyes are slightly distorted by the photometrics of her glasses, but I have over heard many colts visiting the Observatory comment on her attractiveness. She likes to keep her soot-black mane pulled back in a pony tail while she’s working in the laboratory. “Good evening, A.M.P.,” she says to me. “Did you enjoy your run today?”

“It was pleasant,” I reply quietly. “I visited a cave at the base of the mountain.”

Twilight frowns at me, as I knew she would. “A.M.P., I’ve told you to stay close to Canterlot. It is much harder for me to protect you if you leave the city.”

I lower my head in apology. “I simply needed a reprieve from the other ponies.”

Twilight nods in understanding, then says “I know, sweetie. But in the city you have the basic rights of any Equestrian citizen. Outside the city walls, though, you are legally considered a machine.”

The word burns in the microphones of my ears, and I can’t suppress a flinch. “Please do not call me that…”

“I’m sorry, A.M.P., I know you don’t like that word.” She levitates her omni-present clipboard. “Would you like to just move on to your nightly systems check?”

“That is fine.” Phase steps forward to connect a series of wires to ports buried deep within my mane. I become vaguely aware of another computer accessing log files deep within my hard drives. The touch is cold and surgical, and I attempt to recollect a nursery rhyme I’d heard that day to push away the discomfort.

Birds of a feather flock together,
And so will pigs and swine;
Rats and mice will have their choice,
And so will I have mine.

“What was that, A.M.P.?” Twilight asks me. “I heard you mumble something.”

“Nothing of importance,” I reply. Twilight and Phase finish their check and disconnect me from the icy touch of the mainframe computer. After saying goodnight, I am left to my own bed, tucked into an innocuous corner of the laboratory.

The “bed” is a nest of cellular memory foam sunk into floor level. This is to cushion my joints in a simulated low-gravity environment so as to relieve undo stress on them overnight, giving my pistons and gears a much-needed break. Twilight has encouraged me to decorate it with “personal flair,” and a hoof-woven blanket lies in a heap in one corner. It is emblazoned with the crest of Equestria. The pegasus mare I bought it from in the marketplace thought I’d been sent on an errand to fetch it for someone.

Also stuffed into the corner of one bed is the stuffed toy I acquired on a different trip into town. The memory it triggered was slightly more pleasant than most I had.

* * *

It was beautifully sunny day, and I decided that I would visit the park that afternoon. Twilight had recommended getting out into town more to meet other ponies, and however much I disagreed with her proposal, I was looking forward to some time out of the Observatory.

At this point in my life, before I was granted citizenship in Canterlot, the Princesses had mandated that a guard escort me on my outings into civilization. This was as much for my protection as the other ponies’; fear and outrage over my creation was widespread in those days.

As we trotted to the park at the center of the city, the guard said nothing. He gave a cautionary glance at a group of adolescent colts who were eyeing me with suspicion, and they quickly hurried on their way.

“Thank you,” I told him. He didn’t reply; they never did. Their job was to be intimidating. Mine was to be careful. But basic programming is not easily overwritten, and I was compelled to be polite even though I knew no answer would come.

The park was filled with ponies enjoying the sunny day. Families laughed and enjoyed picnics, their spread blankets recalling strange patches of geometric patterns on the otherwise untainted field of grass. Poets and musicians lounged under their favorite trees, writing new pieces for their own pleasure. Foals laughed and birds chirped and the atmosphere was light and carefree.

That atmosphere that shattered when I walked onto the mall. Balls fell out of the open mouths of ponies who turned to stare, then were picked up just as quickly when they recognized the armor of the royal guard. The fillies and colts ran back to their geometric safety zones, where their mothers held them tight and their fathers stood to provide a barrier.

The attention was still new me then, and I stopped to look about. The angry stares continued, and I sheepishly tucked my tail to prove I wasn’t a threat, and moved hastily across the open space to the seclusion of a hedge near the edge of the park. I lay down while the guard stood some distance behind me, watching everywhere for any sign of trouble.

With my retreat came the re-animation of the park. Everypony picked right up where they had left off, and the former peacefulness of the park replaced the late hostility.

I was content to observe the everyday interaction of the ponies in the area. It proved to be a useful tool for learning the ins and outs of normal social interaction, and I began formulating new social cognizance algorithms to aid me in my experiences with others.

I became aware of a particular little filly who kept glancing back at me. She carried a stuffed pony figure on her back, a light pink alicorn doll, and seemed to enjoy playing with her instead of with the other foals her age. I suppose that her curiosity eventually got the better of her, and she left the serenity of the mall to approach me.

She was a younger earth pony foal of a light orange color, with fiery red hair. She was too young to have earned her cutie mark, but she was full of energy and smiled as she walked up. “What are you doing over here alone?” she asked me in a squeaky voice.

“I am attempting to study the subconscious patterns that ponies exhibit in their daily social interactions so that I may build new subroutines to facilitate my own exchanges with others,” I replied simply. I was surprised to hear the laughter of the foal.

“You talk funny.” She giggled to herself a moment, then smiled at me. “I’m Pepperdance!” She pulled the doll off of her back and held her proudly in her teeth as she mumbled “And this is Princess Prettypants.”

“I am an Autonomous Mare Prototype, but you may call me A.M.P. as an abbreviated title for the purposes of this conversation.”

The little filly cocked her head at me “Amp? That’s a cool name. Where are you from, Amp?”

“I was constructed by Twilight Sparkle at the Royal Observatory…”

“Oh wow!” Pepperdance interrupted. “You know Princess Twilight? What’s she like? Is she nice? My daddy says she’s mental, but I think a Princess just has to be nice, doesn’t she? Especially since she’s also the Element of Magic and…omigosh, I just can’t believe you really know Twilight!”

The orange filly continued to ask prying questions about Twilight’s personal life, most of which I will admit I answered. She seemed to be beyond the need to breath for long stretches of time as inquiry after inquiry poured from her mouth. Eventually she seemed to calm down, and pulled out the doll again. “Wow, Princess Prettypants! I never thought we’d get to meet a pony who actually knows Princess Twilight.” She paused for a brief moment, apparently listening to the doll say something in return. “I don’t know, that’s a good question! Amp, Princess Prettypants wants to know if Princess Twilight likes cupcakes or muffins better.”

“Twilight tends to prefer muffins in the mornings and cupcakes in the evenings.”

“You’re saying that she likes both equally?”

“I…suppose that is an adequate interpretation.”

“Did you hear that, Princess Prettypants? Twilight likes both! That’s so amazing!” She paused again. “I know, so do you! You both have so much in common!”

The filly’s behavior seemed irrational to me. “Pepperdance, may I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure, anything!” the young foal replied, the smile never leaving her face.

“Do you suffer from schizophrenic delusions? I have been monitoring your doll and can detect no signs of sentience or life.”

Pepperdance looked shocked and gripped the doll close to her chest. “Are you saying Princess Prettypants isn’t real just because you can’t hear her?!” she yelled at me.

“I am merely speculating on why you treat a toy as a living pony.”

“Princess Prettypants is my friend!” she yelled again. “Just because you don’t hear doesn’t mean she’s not real!”

I had apparently crossed some social taboo, and ducked my head. “I apologize if I upset you, Pepperdance. I…I have never had a friend.”

The filly’s expression changed from one of anger to one of horrified pity. “You mean you’ve never ever had a friend?”

“No, I have not.”

“Never ever ever?”

“No, I have not.”

Pepperdance gasped and threw her hooves around my neck. “I’m sorry, Amp! If you want, I’ll be your friend!”

“That would be…nice,” I replied, and somehow I suddenly felt warm and happy.

“And Princess Prettypants will be your friend too! Now you have two friends!” She pushed the doll into my hoof, and I picked it up to examine it. One of its patchwork eyes was beginning to come unstitched and its once pristine blue coat was threadbare in places where the foal had rubbed it too hard, but somehow it was the most touching thing I’d ever seen.

“Thank you, Princess Prettypants,” I whispered to the doll. Pepperdance smiled as I said it.

“PEPPERDANCE!” a voice shrieked from across the field “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“That’s my mommy,” Pepperdance said, pointing at a frantically running mare. “Hi, mommy!” she waved.

“Get away from that!” her mother responded. “You know better than to run off alone and talk to strange...things.”

“But mommy, this is Amp! She’s my friend,” the filly protested.

“Say goodbye to your…‘friend’, sweetie, it’s time to go.” The mother looked panicked as she glanced back and forth between me and the foal. The guard behind me had stirred, and was ready to jump into action.

“You had better take your doll back,” I said and nudged the toy back to Pepperdance.

Her mother shifted nervously on her hooves as the orange filly lingered near me. “No, Amp, you keep her. Princess Prettypants wants to be your friend.”

“Pepperdance, come on! It’s time to go.” The mother scooped up her foal and carried her off without saying a word to me. I saw the fire-maned filly wave at me from her mother’s back. “Take care of Princess Prettypants! She likes tea and cupcakes.” I could barely hear her add “And muffins!”

I looked down at the blue toy in my hoof before placing it on my back and returning to the Observatory.

* * *

I shake off the memory, content to let the past remain buried for now. I turn a few times on my bed and settle down next to the stuffed doll. I pull the blanket over both of us, then nuzzle her gently. “Goodnight, Princess Prettypants,” I whisper quietly. Then I power down for the evening, slipping into an empty unconsciousness.