Okay, I'll start with what is wrong with this chapter first: Timeline; creates glyph-> brands glyph onto eye-> destroys orphanage-> Works as a mercenary, collects large trees and boulders, and enough metal off of the seven people she killed to create a castle and farmland-> Goes to jail-> Begins collecting books from the Royal Library-> Is released to defeat Nightmare Moon
Item 1, Spike: In this chapter he is described as her younger brother and yet she is supposed to be from an orphanage. Now granted you can explain this issue with hardly any trouble since you've set the time line for this with her creating the glyph at the age of twelve. So that does leave some room to explain when it was that she was orphaned. The only issue with that being that you can no longer work it in that she was orphaned at an age younger than five, unless of course, you have her or Spike actively seek out their biological sibling at some time after the orphanage incident.
Item 2, Time: In a previous chapter you mentioned that she sought out the jail shortly after the orphanage. Now granted the wording wasn't the best in that area, and it could very well have been a typo, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be resolved.

Now on to the fun part. the things I think OP Twilight should have and my reasons behind them:
Fire Breathing: Dragon Blood
Ability to Talk to Dragons(would work if they have a separate language): Dragon Blood(could even include having a reptilian tongue[wouldn't that be fun])
Matter Deconstruction on a Cellular Level: You've already gone into this but haven't yet used it on a person(could be part of a flashback)
... I'll think of more don't worry there will be more, without a doubt...

As a Role player I should hate this, as a fan of anything powerful that has infinite potential to crush destroy and or save everything, I wish you luck on your future endeavors and to keep this entertainment that makes me smiles! (so yes I like this story for reason beyond me, maybe its the magic! )

2833068 that's the whole point of this story
I never get to go fully op twilight with anything I do
2832913 Not everything has been explained, friend. It may not have been clear but it's not like she stayed in the prison for 7 years straight. that's too boring.
and I said she got a lot of the metal from people she's defeated
not just the ones she's killed
when you're a mercenary, you tend to beat a lot of people.
and also, as I've said many MANY times, this isn't really that much of a story. this is just where I dump my epic badass and dark ideas in combination with my love of OP twilight, so nothing should really be taken all that seriously

2833173
I really like this, and I keep seeing things that present potential problems. I only leave comments on things that I truly enjoy.

2833497 you think it's a potential problem because you're thinking about it in terms of a fully fleshed out story.
My recommendation to you, don't waste your time writing these big comments explaining every little wrong thing. if there's an explanation I missed or haven't gotten into yet, or there's something you want to know, just mention it. Not get into huge paragraphs about it. While I try to read every single comment fully, when they're that big I tend to want to skim.
2833068 and why would you being a role player have anything to do with you liking or hating this?

2833558
Ah, I suppose I can understand that, but I'm fully taking it into account that this is a story in progress and as such can move in ways as yet unseen, even by the author himself. I just bring stuff up because it concerns me as I'm looking at it and would like to poke the authors mind and maybe help contribute.
As to the whole issue of me taking this too seriously or going into too much detail about 'reviewing' each chapter. I'd just like to say that after my initial review of a story I stop taking it seriously and just enjoy the ride. What you have seen me put in the comments is just what I feel like doing for fun.

And yes I did make a long comment explaining this, I didn't intend to do so starting off, but now that I look at it I find this fairly comical.

2833645 just keep it short and sweet, buddy, and I don't mind.
and it is in progress, but story it is only by name.Like I said, this is an idea dump. The only reason it's not a series of oneshots an has even what little storyline it has now is because my mind is slowly piecing it together.
Perhaps in a few chapters or so- maybe when the prologues stop- it'll have enough to be called a real story
until then, though, don't think of it like a story

2833699
No can do, it's too good not to be a story.

2833558 Because being or making a over powered character should trigger some kind of "no" trigger but it hasn't so am happy to say I like this story very much.

2833710 *facepalm*
whatever...
2833752 and sometimes ridiculously overpowered works. I've literally never been able to do it, whenever I've wanted to do it people have always hounded me for it so I give her enemies that can and will beat her or at least make her just barely win.
with this one? I don't care. OP twilight is OP