Felanthroid

by Zytharros

The Man and the Cat

Something that smelt like smoked salmon passed before my thought stream. I am never letting that purple Witch near my collar again.

Opal?

The salmon became burned. I swear, the next time I see that purple mouse hole, I will tear her to ribbons.

Opal.

I will take my claws and stab them into that stupid cutie mark and rip it clean off her-

OPAL!

I felt the internal char searing into my mind. WHAT!? I... AM... MONOLOGUING... HERE!

I sighed. Opal, you are not alone in your mind.

A loud rowr erupted from our body, drowning out any thoughts she was sharing. In between spins and flails, barbed with razor sharp claws, I caught glimpses of llamas backing off, Rita fleeing for her life, and Shine standing stone still with the exact same expression as when I first entered the domicile. I and Opal shared the pain of Opal's wild breakdown in an attempt to get the strange being out of her body. I fought for a while, but when I realized neither of our spirits were being damaged, nor could we separate until this mess had resolved itself, I relaxed and let the kitty vent.

For sixty.

Straight.

Minutes.

I should've stashed some emergency popcorn somewhere.

Eventually, energy spent, the kitty part of us cooled off. I took the time to observe the llamas had wisely moved on. I guess they decided they would rather put their time towards something not quite so volatile. I moved us to a safer place, just beyond the hole beside the door Shine had been guarding until recently. I spent a few minutes sifting through the debris until I had filled our gut at the cat dish, drank some water, and found a secluded spot. I plopped ourselves down and closed my eyes, intent on a serious discussion with my body mate.

"First things first - let's get the introductions down. No need to have this get as uncomfortable as we were earlier," I said. "We'll be in this body together, for better or for worse, until we can find a way to be rid of each other. I'm Zytharros. I'm still wondering how I became you."

Opal hissed. "Those damn ponies call me Opalescence-" she said the name in a near perfect imitation of Rarity's voice "-but I would much prefer my real name."

"Which is...?"

"Queen Pussysmash the Omnipotent!"

...

The air left behind by that statement filled with the distant sounds of birds chirping. So stunned was I at what she said that I could barely think. Of course, right at that moment, my mind went to a bad place. A dirty place.

A very perverse place.

"Pussy... smash."

Opal contorted our face just as I did. I slowly began to chuckle. She clearly became angry. The resulting look the outside shell took was something akin to a man who got sacked as part of a joke. Our voices became a mangled mess at this point as one half began laughing and the other, screaming. I could not help myself! Did cats actually name each other that!? Pussysmash! Ha! Seriously?

Anger erupted from Opal's side and she once again tailspun into a fit of rage. This time I laughed all the way through it.

Until I saw that we were headed straight into the bags of llama fibre our farm sold.

I began fighting Opal's control in her body. She fought to keep control. I think I burned through a couple brain cells and a few other nerves to control a leg. I guess the best way to explain a soul fight is much like playing a game of Settlers.

Basically, you get this island pieced together with hexagon-shaped parts. Each hex is a different resource, except for three dead duck hexes, two of which are desert, one is a solid water block. Each hex has a number placed on it, from 1 to 12, depending on how big the board is.

Each person starts the game with three settlements that they can place at the junction of any three hexes. No two settlements can be placed in the surrounding immediate junctions once a settlement is placed. However, the next junctions up are fair game. The settlements allow you to collect resources from the connecting hexes and use them to expand your empire. Resources are first collected in accordance with where you have settlements, one for each hex you touch, and bonus material is collected with a dice roll. Once you've collected enough, you can settle new areas or build up existing settlements Iinto cities. One gets bonuses by satisfying a series of conditions, like having a certain amount of settlements along a stretch of road. The goal is to claim a certain number of points.

At least, that's how it felt.

Anyway, I battled enough to get some semblance of control and direct us away from the fibre using the one leg I seized. Unfortunately, my actions caused the furious feline to fling our forms into a pensive pussy petulantly perusng this crazy cat clawing itself to cut cucumber conflagrations. This other cat tumbled a couple times, seriously regretting his decision to interfere in the mental breakdown, and when he regained his footing he disappeared around a corner with a howl.

It was at this point I decided to end this.

"Opal, stop!"

The cat, now completely worn out, collapsed to the earth. I felt the weight of my tired form press upon me.

"We're not going to find out what's wrong with us if we freak out like that," I stated. "We have to think rationally about this."

"Stuff it, Man-Cat."

I bit my tongue. No remarks, Zy. Just say something to push this situation to a positive conclusion.

I can see what you think, too.

Damn.