Felanthroid

by Zytharros

The Man-Cat and the Thirst for Knowledge, Act Three

I woke up next to some translucent pile of cat droppings which contained some kind of glass panel in a long, thin black box. Beside it was a long cord of some kind, and on top of all that was a stupid little box with three sticks poking out of one end.

What was that damn human up to?

I heard him more than anything else. Music, I think Rarity called it. He looked like music in physical form, and yet he was also shapes. Letters, I think. They danced around the music, as if in eternal play. His still form moved with an unseen wind, capitulating in grand movements and punchy rock riffs.

Or some cat crap like that. I do not give a buck.

Anyway, I proceeded to try waking him up. We had some business to discuss and I wasn't about to let him sleep it off.

"Zytharros."

Nnnghhh...

Zytharros.

Mmmmrrrkkk...

Zy-tha-rros!!

Shunnup...

Oh, he wasn't making this easy. I considered supplying him with a great heaping can of cat claw, but I had tried that to free myself and it didn't work. It would only hurt me as well as him. I groaned and shoved his corporeal form over.

Get up, you lazy human!

The music droned into a cacophony of annoyance. I knew then that I had awakened him. A split second of silence and the feeling of a job well done were erased as the dissonance returned with a deafening vengeance. I instinctively covered our ears and howled in fury.

"Make... it... STO-O-O-O-OP!"

I've been asleep for all of five minutes. What the cotton-pickin' HELL DO YOU WANT!?

I shouted back, "Stop blowing that infernal racket in my mind!"

"Maybe if you let me sleep-"

"Don't be so damn lazy-"

"Well, it's not my fault-"

This kind of banter continued for a few minutes as a very angry cat and a grumpy human hashed out their very pleasant issues.

Eventually, Zytharros went silent as my tirade about his mom wore on. I heard a song pop up in my head loudly, drowning out my tirade. Every time I got louder, the music drowned me out. When I realized he had tuned me out, I just shut up and waited for the music to die.

It didn't.

In fact, it looped seventeen times.

I had long tried to move away in our mindspace, as far from the music as possible by the start of an eighteenth round that never came. I sighed in relief. Maybe we could talk like rational sentient beings now. Of course, being the far superior being, I would take command and he would be my servant.

Is that not how the world works?

So, once I got us to an isolated area, I marched up to him with a strut and gave a cat smile. "So-"

"Eat it, pussy."

I reeled, flustered and annoyed that one would speak to royalty that way. Maybe he just needs to be-

"Put in my place, right? That's what you want to say."

I had to admit he was good at reading my mind. I couldn't get the best grip on his, however.

"Let me tell you something, cat," he said, a flat tone in his voice, "I'm going to help you defeat Discord."

I sputtered. How did he know that?

"But we have to do it in two months, maybe sooner." The music turned somber. "I currrently have no home, and if I return to my human form after that, I won't have a home anywhere. I brought my phone out here so we could get some information about what's going on worldwide and see if this is happening to anyone else, maybe get some insight into Discord's plans. I have to have my family. I have to rejoin them. I don't know what I'd do without them."

I smirked. "So you need me as much as I need you at the moment," I said. "Good. From now on, you are under my command and we will do as I say."

Feeling confident, I puffed out my chest and smiled large and proud.

Zytharros simply leapt into the driver's seat and made for his phone again. "We work together or we die. Your choice."

My chest deflated and I glared hard. This human was trying to piss me off now!

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I demanded.

He smirked. "Going online."

On-what?